I stared into the darkness, wishing that were true. “When are you leaving again?” I asked, trying not to be angry.
“In the morning,” he whispered. I assumed my dad was leaving too, and for who knew how long this time.
Jake shifted behind me, and I could feel his chest against my arm and shoulder as he braced himself and leaned over me. His hand gently cupped my cheek, turning my head so I would look at him. After kissing his palm, I rolled onto my back and gazed up at his blurred outline without a scrap of pride left. I let more tears fall.
I closed my eyes as Jake brushed the back of his finger over my mostly silent tears. He leaned down and trailed soft kisses across my brow, then his nose nudged the side of my face, and he let out a deep breath. “I’m sorry,” he breathed. He was torn, ripping apart inside, like me.
When I opened my eyes to face him, a crimson glow pulsed around him. I hadn’t told Jake about the auras I’d been seeing. There’d barely been time since he returned.
He lowered his mouth to mine. His lips were firm but soft, better than I remembered, and they burned against mine, searing in the feel of him, searing in his love so I would never forget it. His kisses were slow and mesmerizing, so comforting and soft that I wasn’t sure how I’d gone so long without them.
“I love you,” I said, staring up at his beautiful face hidden beneath shadow. I needed him to know, to remember that. I embraced the scarlet light that danced around him, memorizing it in contrast with the inky darkness so I could keep it with me in his absence.
His thumb stroked the side of my face.
“Just don’t forget about me,” I halfheartedly teased.
And without a word, Jake’s mouth was on mine, promising me that he never would.
~~~~~
I stared into a white room, and pain filled my head as I tried to focus. There was so much light—blinding, humming light—and when my vision finally adjusted, I whimpered. “Jason?”
He was standing in the doorway of what looked like some deranged exam room filled with large machines with straps and harnesses, making them seem all the more terrifying. For experiments? Torture?
But even as the dread infected my mind, my gaze was transfixed on my brother, standing no more than ten feet in front of me. I was too confused and awestruck to be distracted.
“Jason,” I said almost giddily. “You’re alive!” I waved to get his attention, but he didn’t acknowledge me. “Jason!” I shouted, my body shaking. “Jason! Look at me!” I tried to step forward, but I couldn’t. I was cemented in place, merely an observer in this twisted place. “God damn it, look at me!” I knew he wouldn’t. He couldn’t hear me, but I was desperate for him to see me standing in front of him as he stood there, indifferent and frozen.
A tall, dark-haired woman with a short bob walked between us. She stopped to stand in front of Jason, partially blocking him from my view. I could tell by her slim build and the long, elegant fingers she extended toward him that this was our mom…this was Dr. Wesley. She reached for him with the same reserve, the same uncertainty as she always had in my dreams.
Although I worried Jason would strike her or shout, he stood emotionless…simply staring. Like always, his features were fixed—his jaw clenched and his eyes hard and empty.
After our mom touched his face, his stance and expression unwavering, she turned away from him. Her eyes were shimmering, her cheeks wet with overflowing tears. Whatever she was doing, she was miserable despite her stoic expression. Shaking hands were all the alert I needed to know that whatever she was drawing into the syringe that was suddenly in her hand wasn’t good.
“Jason!” I shouted. “Please, look at me!” But there was nothing I could do. I was frozen in place. A fixed feature in the wall with no voice, unable to move. All I could do was scream. “Please don’t kill him,” I begged, willing Dr. Wesley to hear me. Because this woman wasn’t our mom, and I knew killing him was exactly what she was going to do.
She turned to face him. He didn’t even look at her, but beyond. He didn’t flinch or tense. I couldn’t watch my mom kill my brother. I refused to. Squeezing my eyes shut, I begged and sobbed.
“It’ll be alright…”
I sat up in bed, my body trembling and my mind reeling. “Jason,” I said, my voice reedy.
The sun filtered through the white linen curtains as I tried to gather my bearings. I peered around the bedroom, determined to catch my breath, to calm down. I stared up at the ceiling. Feeling coolness on my cheek, I brought my hand up to find the damp remnants of silent tears.
I dropped my hand onto the empty space beside me. Once again, I was alone.
Feeling strangely uneasy, I peered around the room. That felt like more than a dream. That voice had been there again—a strange, garbled whisper. It had come and gone, leaving me with yet another ominous sense of urgency. One that I couldn’t ignore this time. It wasn’t a child’s voice; it wasn’t Dani’s unborn baby, I knew that now, somehow. Was it Jason?
Flinging the blankets off me, I jumped out of bed, struggling to pull on a pair of sweatpants and a wadded-up T-shirt from the floor. Jake was leaving this morning, I just hoped he’d gotten a late start. I needed to tell him that Jason might be alive, that he might be at the Colony.
I tried not to let the horror of that thought paralyze me as I galloped down the stairs. I didn’t have time to prepare myself for the fact that the dream might not even be real. It felt real, and that was all the spurring my dwindling hope needed to get me moving.
“Jake!” I called. My bare feet pounded against the wood floor as I ran through the house.
All the rooms were empty, except for the kitchen, where I found Grayson, Sam, and Tavis, having a morning snack.
“Where’s Jake?” I barked. “Did he leave?”
“Zoe,” Becca said from behind me. I twirled around to find her still in her pajamas, her shoulder-length hair unkempt and her wide, pale violet-gray eyes staring back at me.
“Becca, I had a dream about Jason at—”
She was nodding before I could finish. “I had a vision of him. I believe he was dying.” In spite of the general lack of emotional expression afforded her by her Re-gen nature, Becca looked remorseful. “I am sorry you had to see that, Zoe.”
“No, it’s a good thing.” I smiled, unable to help myself. “It’s only a possible future, right? And he can only die if he’s not already dead, which means he’s alive and we can still save him!” My hope quickly dwindled. “How long ago did Jake and my dad leave?”
“They’re outside, saddling the horses,” Sam said through a mouthful of cereal. I was already running out the front door, the screen flinging open then slamming shut behind me.
“Jake! Dad!” I called, barely registering the sound of the screen door opening and closing again behind me or the muffled chatter.
Jake turned to me and frowned. “What is it?” he asked, and though the sun had barely risen, he squinted as he scanned me from head to toe.
Cooper trotted up to me, and I absently pet him as he licked my hands, my eyes too busy searching for Dani.
“Where are your shoes?” I heard someone ask.
Chris brushed her hands off on her pants, taking in my disheveled appearance. “Long night?” she teased.
“I had a dream,” I said, a little out of breath. “Where’s my dad? Where’s Dani?” I glanced back and forth between her and Jake, unconcerned with the others forming a circle around us.
Jake and Chris exchanged skeptical looks.
“A dream about Jason. He was alive—at the Colony.”
Chris looked from Jake to me. “Zoe, it was only a dre—”
“Becca had a vision—saw a possible future.” It was difficult to stomach, let alone say, the next part. “My mom was going to do something to him. I think she was going to kill him. But it means he’s alive, that he’s not dead yet.” When everyone stood there in silence, I continued. “There was a voice, a voice I’ve been hearing a lot lately, an
d—”
“You’ve been hearing voices?” Sanchez asked as she came up beside me. “Tom tells us you’ve been seeing auras, and now you’re hearing voices, too? Why didn’t you tell us this before?”
Jake’s eyes leveled on me, but what could I do? “You’ve been home for what, ten hours? There’s a lot that’s happened since you guys have been gone. I guess I thought Dani being pregnant was the most important update.” I shook my head. “Look, what matters is that I know, deep down in my gut, that Jason’s alive. He’s at the Colony, or he will be, and if we don’t get to him soon, he will be dead.”
“With no sign of a struggle?” Sanchez said and looked across the group at my dad. “There’s no way Jason would let someone take him, injured or not.”
“And what about the woman?” Chris said.
“This is the Colony we’re talking about. They can do whatever the hell they want.” I was growing impatient with their lack of urgency. Everyone looked at me, half doubtful, just like I would’ve looked had I not experienced the vision firsthand.
“You really think he’s in Colorado, sweetheart?” my dad asked as he stepped toward me.
My eyes met his and then settled on Jake, his hope holding at a low simmer, along with the rest of them. “I know what I saw. Isn’t it at least worth it to go there and see?”
Everyone remained silent, watching me and wondering if this was an act of desperation, if I was only seeing what I’d wanted to see. They all wanted to believe me but barely dared to hope.
I felt my face fall. “Becca saw it, too,” I said defensively. “I’m not delusional.”
“We know you’re not, Zoe,” Sanchez said. Her voice was skeptical, but not unkind. “But the Colony is a whole different ball game. If he’s there—and that’s a big if—we can’t just walk in and ask if we can schedule a play date.”
“Well, we have to try,” I snapped. “What if he’s alive at this moment, but in danger, and we stay here? They’ll kill him, Becca and I have already seen that outcome. Nothing has made sense from the first moment he disappeared. Whatever Dani thinks she saw is wrong.” I peered around, frantic. “Don’t you see? That voice—it could be Jason in my head. I don’t know how, but it’s the only thing that makes any sense in all this craziness. So, if we’re searching anywhere, it needs to be in Colorado.”
“We?” my dad said, a frown narrowing his expression.
“What if he tries to contact me again? I’m going,” I said. There was no room for negotiation.
Tentative footsteps on the gravel grabbed my attention, and Grayson and Sam slowly stepped aside to make room for Dani, Carlos, and Annie. Hesitantly, Dani stepped into the throng of people surrounding me. Although her eyes were bloodshot and her golden aura dim, the baby’s chartreuse halo was still vibrant and defined. “Can I talk to you alone? I think I—”
“I had a dream, D,” I blurted, too frantic to consider her reaction to my theory about what the vision meant. “It’s about Jason.”
Dani peered around at the wide-eyed faces surrounding us and took a step closer to me. “Wh—what do you mean?”
“I gleaned it from Becca—a vision. But Jason was in it. He spoke to me.” I took a deep breath. “I think he’s alive, D.”
I watched the tears flood her celadon pools of pain and grief as she registered my words. Though hope soared inside her, she was already bracing herself to be let down, again.
“I think he’s at the Colony,” I said, my certainty gaining strength. “With my mom.”
15
DANI
DECEMBER 12, 1AE
The Farm, California
I left the others in a flurry of skeptical, almost reluctant excitement, making the excuse that I felt weak and needed to lie down. Considering that weak and needing rest were two facets of my usual state of being lately, not to mention the huge bomb Zoe had just dropped on us all, on top of my own unexpected and disturbing dream, nobody questioned my claim or even tried to stop me. It helped that I really did feel weak and needed to lie down. I also felt overwhelmed and ecstatic and terrified and a little bit like I was losing my mind. Desperation flooded me, eager and hopeful, but at the same time, I braced myself for the biggest letdown yet. Disappointment was inevitable; if I’d learned anything over the past few weeks, it was that.
I wasn’t strong enough to do this again—to steady myself for dashed hopes, for shattered dreams—not anymore. And then there was my dream, my confusing, haunting dream, not to mention the fact that I’d actually managed to sleep. With everything going on, I felt like I was unraveling. More than ever before, I needed to escape.
By the time I slipped through the cottage’s front door, I was already searching the animal minds around me for a drifting companion. I yelped when I noticed Gabe squatting on the hardwood floor in front of the fireplace.
He glanced at me over his shoulder, but almost immediately returned to staring at the copper teakettle warming over the flames. His hair had grown so long that I doubted he’d trimmed it since we’d left the Colony so many months ago. Pulled back into a low ponytail as it was and combined with his several inches of facial hair, he more closely resembled a member of a motorcycle club than the elite geneticist he’d been.
“Sorry,” he said softly. “Didn’t mean to startle you.”
Feet glued to the floor, I wrapped my arms around my middle. “It’s okay.” For several seconds, I stood in the entryway, watching him and saying nothing. “I thought you were outside…with the others.”
“Hey Gabe, nice to see you,” he said with fake enthusiasm. “Thanks for stopping by.” Again, he looked back at me, this time wearing a wry, tight-lipped smile. “Now get the hell out of my house, or I’ll sick a pack of rabid squirrels on you…”
My pent-up nerves escaped in the form of an explosive, too-loud laugh. I slapped my hand over my mouth, my eyes wide. “Sorry,” I mumbled. “I’m being rude.” I moved to one of the recliners Jason and I had arranged close to the fireplace and practically fell backward into it. I settled my arms on the armrests, letting my hands dangle over the ends. “It is nice to see you, and thank you for stopping by.” I offered Gabe the most genuine smile I could muster at the moment, which probably fell short…by quite a bit. “And I’m not going to kick you out.”
He reached into the hearth for the teapot’s handle with a folded-over dish towel. “You say that now…”
I groaned. “C’mon Gabe, just spit it out.” I rolled my eyes. “The anticipation is killing me.”
He laughed as he stood. “I’m sure.” He set the teapot on a thick wooden trivet on the small table by the fireplace, then pointed to a glass jar filled with dried leaves next to it. “Raspberry leaf tea.”
I raised my eyebrows, impressed. “You’ve been reading up on your herbal remedies.” I nodded to the jar. “Grams swore by raspberry leaf tea.” And she really had; it was well known for easing the less pleasant symptoms of pregnancy. Like, in my case, near-constant nausea. I’d never actually tried it before, but then, I’d never had a reason to. I leaned forward. “Where’d you find it?” While growing raspberries was on my never-ending list of to-dos, I’d yet to actually get around to hunting down some raspberry bushes.
Gabe shrugged. “A tea shop in Windsor.”
“Oh.” I leaned back in my chair, my desire to speak extinguished. The one and only time Gabe had left the farm on an overnight excursion had been several days ago, and he, Jake, Chris, and Tom had headed up to Windsor to search for Jason…who might be alive, who might be in the Colony, who might escape or be rescued only to fall victim to any of the myriad of dangers that lie between there and here.
“The Teahouse of Windsor,” I said, trying to sound conversational. Trying not to sound like I was desperate for Gabe to leave so I could be alone to figure out what the hell I was feeling—ecstatic or terrified or some nauseating combination of the two. The path to earth-shattering disappointment was paved with polished bricks of hope. Shoddy craftsmanship meant those
bricks could crumble at any moment, leaving me standing in the mud, alone. “I bet it’s lovely.”
Gabe nodded as he prepared the tea, placing a hearty pinch of the dried raspberry leaves into one of the mesh tea balls I’d “inherited” from Grams and setting the infuser in an oversized earthenware mug. Carefully, he poured in steaming water from the kettle. “I’d have given it to you sooner, but I wanted to make sure it was safe.” He looked at me. “Sugar?”
“Honey,” I said, pointing to the small blue and taupe glazed honey pot I’d freed from an abandoned farm nearby.
“So, listen…” Gabe trailed off as he drizzled honey into the mug. The slow-moving, syrupy string seemed to hypnotize him.
After several seconds with no sign that he was going to continue, I said, “I’m all ears… listening away…”
Gabe flashed me a cautious smile. “Without Jason—” He stopped himself and looked down at the mug, then took a deep breath and stood, setting it on the round end table beside my chair. “Your mind’s not blocked from me anymore.” He took what seemed to be a fortifying breath. “I know that the first real sleep you’ve had in weeks was last night, and that it was filled with a twisted dream of what happened in the woods that day…” He settled in my recliner’s mate, his eyes steady on my face. “I could help with that. Suppress the dream so you can get however much restful sleep you can fit in before you drift away.”
I held my breath, ignoring the disapproval threaded throughout his final words and forcing myself not to feel affronted or grow defensive. “It’s fine. I’m dealing with it. Zo’s helping me, you know, by digging around for the truth—her way of psychoanalyzing me, I suppose.” I forced another smile and, wanting to take the focus off of me and my issue, said, “Did you hear? Zo had a vision.”
Gabe cocked his head to the side.
I waved my hand to dismiss his confused expression. “Becca had a vision. Zo just witnessed it, I guess.” I took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “What she saw—it made her think Jason’s alive…and at the Colony.” I will not freak out. I will not freak out. I will not freak out. But I really, really, really wanted to lose it right about now. I clenched my jaw, stiffened my neck, and hardened my heart.
The Ending Series: The Complete Series Page 144