by Melody Rose
“So, tell me about her family,” I asked.
Lilith proceeded to fill me in on her conversation with Evelyn, including her dead father and her family’s weird love of knitting and crocheting.
“Hmm… Could be her dad’s side of the family,” I mused. “A bloodline thing, or whatever. I wonder who it would tie to, though.”
“It would explain her ignorance,” Lilith responded, “but daddy dying before he could tell his daughter all about her super special Devil-killing powers? Seems a bit far-fetched.” She chuckled.
“Maybe it was Michael,” I countered. “Maybe he finally found a way to get me out of the way for good.”
After all, Michael and I had never forgiven each other for what had happened between us. I never did understand his blind devotion to Heaven, and I guess he never understood my need for autonomy and my desire for free will. He was happy to live under Dad’s thumb, but don’t we all deserve to make our own choices, to have the freedom to live our lives the way we want to?
I didn’t understand why this was so unforgivable. This was why Lilith and I work so well together. We thought the same way.
Lilith rolled her eyes. “First of all, by now, killing you will have zero impact on Hell. Sorry to say, you are not the influencer you once were. Hell won’t disappear, someone else will just step up, so he won’t succeed at anything there. Plus, you know why he comes down here, right?” She stared at me pointedly.
“To annoy the shit out of me? To keep tabs on me and report back to our brothers?” I shrugged. “I don’t know. I don’t care. I ignore him, for the most part.”
Lilith laughed. “It’s your freaking sauna! Only pure Hellfire can get a sauna that hot. The guy is so fixated on his appearance and his ‘self-care,’ that he comes all the way here to ensure he gets the very best for his fragile ego.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me. That’s a long trip for something that simple.” Only a handful of diapers remained in the dirty pile. I hoped my other guy was hard at work topside. I should go to check soon.
“So if Michael wanted to kill you, he would most likely lose out on the sauna and still have to deal with Hell. You know what they say, better the Devil you know...” She trailed off with a smile.
“I was thinking, though,” she continued. “Why don’t I look into this George Hernandez thing and see where it leads us? It may be nothing, but I don’t want to leave any stone unturned.” She turned to look up at me. “What do you think?”
“Yes,” I responded, eyes still on the scene in front of me. “At the very least, we can say we have explored every option.” I turned to look at her. “Thank you, by the way. You do not have to take this on for me, and I appreciate your help.
“I know that, but I want to.” Lilith popped up from her seat. “Well, anyway, I’m out. Think about your next move here. And remember! Play nice!” She sauntered off, giving me one of the views in Hell I didn’t tire of.
Speaking of tired, this diaper bit was already boring. I watched the guy lose his lunch with only one diaper left to go. I sighed and slowly pieced together a game plan for my next meeting with Evelyn, while I made the guy clean up his own mess.
7
Evelyn
“Good evening, darling!” Asmodeus waltzed into the room with a twinkle of delight in his eyes. Today his suit was sunshine yellow, with a pale blue dress shirt beneath, with the top button undone and no tie in sight. To top it off, he was wearing a pristine pair of all-white Chucks. His hair was still flawless. How did he do it?
“It’d be better if I got out of this gross-ass room,” I snapped. I did not understand why I had to endure this literal Hell. That was bad enough, but to top it off, I was being held in this room. I was nearing the end of my second day in Hell, and I was getting increasingly grossed-out by my scenery. “Have you ever been in a dive bar bathroom so gross you were afraid to brush against the walls? That is exactly how this feels, with the lovely addition of blood dripping down the walls.”
Asmodeus looked speechless for a second. I don’t think he expected any push-back. He looked around the room as if he were truly seeing it for the first time.
“Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit.” He looked back at me. “You’re right, miss, and your protests are perfectly timed. Your accommodations just so happen to be what I’m here for. Follow me.”
Asmodeus turned on his heels and strode out the door of my cell, and not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, I followed him down the hall. This time, as I walked behind him, I noticed a pattern in the cracks in the wall. It looked as if someone had been shoved against the wall, hard enough to crack the tiles and expose the white ceramic beneath the once-glossy black glaze. I tried to imagine the force that must have been behind that and determined that it couldn’t have been a human that did it. I looked down at the dark concrete floor, and as filthy as it was, I saw no traces of blood or any signs that any real injury had occurred.
We walked for a while, turning a few corners, and I marched ahead resolutely, determined not to glance through any of the doorways as we passed. I found that I did not want to know what they all contained.
I started wondering just how big Hell was, considering how long we were walking. After about ten minutes of strolling through the seemingly endless hallway, Asmodeus brought me to a decently sized dark room with no windows. I looked around the room and froze in my spot.
It was all oddly familiar.
“This… this is my stuff!” I exclaimed as I looked around the room and saw my familiar recliner and ottoman. Next to it, my basket of yarn was sitting on the floor. I had found the insanely soft and bulky white yarn at this local shop and fell in love. I just knew I needed one of those useless blankets to toss onto the foot of the bed to add a bit more personality to my room. I could see cozy nights in my future, hands wrapped around my favorite mug, chamomile tea keeping my hands warm, a blanket draped over my knees, and a solid horror flick on my television.
How odd the soft textures looked against the darkness of Hell.
“Sure is, hon. We got everything from your apartment, and I do mean everything.”
Asmodeus walked the perimeter of the room, looking over everything. My new flat screen was hanging on the wall to the left, my big splurge once I got out of the military, and my antique coffee table sat under it, housing the Xbox and my router.
Did the WiFi work in Hell? I made a mental note to test that out later.
He continued on, strolling between my recliner and my small sofa, heading through the doorway to the right and into my bedroom. I followed him. My dresser sat along the wall in front of us, with my bed to the right. He picked up my ratty teddy bear off the dresser with just two fingers. He looked at it with a hint of disgust and tossed it back onto the armchair.
“I’ve had that bear since I was a little girl,” I found myself explaining before I got annoyed. “And why did you go get all my stuff?” I put my hands on my hips. “It isn’t like you guys have been kind to me thus far, and last I checked, I’m not actually dead, so really, I shouldn’t even be here.”
“Lucifer thought you should be more comfortable.” Asmodeus shrugged as though that explained everything, then walked over to my closet and flung open the double doors. “Get dressed, sugar. Dinner is waiting.”
“Oh, how considerate of him.” I rolled my eyes, but I was relieved to be able to get out of my work clothes finally.
“You know that gets under his skin, don’t you?” Asmodeus asked knowingly, turning back to face me.
“What gets under his skin?” I asked. “What could possibly annoy the Devil?”
“You speaking to him the way you do,” he replied with a shrug. “No one speaks to him that way. If they try, that’s the only opportunity they get before they never speak again.” A conspiratorial smirk crept across his face. “It drives him crazy that he can’t do anything about it with you.”
“Good to know,” I muttered as I walked past him to my closet.
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I turned back toward him. “Can I have a little privacy, at least?”
Asmodeus nodded and stepped outside, and I looked around my room again. When I first signed the lease on my new apartment, I fell in love with the balcony in the master bedroom. It was the first thing I noticed upon entering the room because it was directly across from the doorway. The sliding glass door let in so much light, and I loved going out there with a cup of coffee to enjoy the birds chirping and the sunlight on my skin.
This version of my home was missing that important feature, and it made the entire room feel depressing and morbid. It was dark as, well, Hell. Go figure.
With a sigh, I glanced at my white yarn again, and it brought me some comfort.
I wondered why Lucifer gave two shits about how nice my accommodations were. He kidnapped me and chained me up, and now I’m getting special treatment? I also wondered what this dinner was all about. I’m being allowed to freshen up and change, and for what? I was not particularly thrilled about a fancy dinner in Hell. I much preferred a bowl of pasta nestled in my lap while I curled up on the couch and mindlessly scrolled through Netflix. Alone. As nice as it was to have my stuff here, the lack of sunlight was starting to get to me. At least I had WiFi. I hadn’t even needed to hack it. A few good guesses and I was in. Lucifer should probably step up his security measures.
Realizing I ultimately had no choice in the matter, I decided to savor the comforts of home as I got ready. I spent time carefully selecting my outfit. I grabbed my favorite skinny jeans, my go-to black leather boots, and my softest dark gray racer-back tank that made my boobs look amazing. I found myself wondering why I gave a shit about the way I looked, but I decided I was simply grateful to have my closet back. I then went into my bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. My hair wasn’t too bad. I tucked some loose strands back in and grabbed a few bobby pins to tidy it all up. I never did wear makeup for work, so I opted to put some basic makeup on after I took the time to brush my teeth and wash my face. At the very least, it would get me feeling a bit more like myself.
Feeling much more put together, I walked back through my living room and into the hallway to find Asmodeus with his back leaning against the far wall. He had one ankle crossed over the other, and his hands clasped in front of his hips. The shadow of a smile crossed his face as he looked me up and down.
“Wow, what a transformation! Asmodeus gushed as he popped off the wall and grabbed me by the hands. "That outfit really makes your eyes pop, and do I detect…" He paused and sniffed the air. “Is that Chanel #5?” He looked at me knowingly, winked, and started walking down the hall.
The sound of my stomach rumbling must have caught him a bit off guard because he stopped mid-stride and looked at me in horror. “C’mon girl, let’s get some food into you.”
I hadn’t realized quite how hungry I was until that moment and quickened my pace to keep up with him. Between the dark, dreary hallway and blood-stained walls, and the conscious effort to bring the comforts of my home to me, I truly did not know what to expect out of this food. What kind of food do they serve in Hell?
I was afraid to find out.
8
Evelyn
I was still confused about the layout of this place. It seemed as if the rooms were whatever the users wanted them to be. I could have sworn the room to my left was the one I was in earlier, but all the bread and pasta were gone, and it now looked like an empty operating room, complete with a cold tile floor, neatly prepped operating table, and a rolling cart filled with an array of shining metal surgical tools. I walked a bit faster. I wasn’t about to ask questions about what was going to happen in there.
One of the rooms to the right had ornate double wooden doors, one of which was propped open, and inside was a long wooden dining room table, with seating for ten and an array of different foods laid out along its length. At the head of the table, dressed in an all-black suit down to the little silk handkerchief sticking out of the jacket pocket, was Lucifer.
Damn, he looked good in a suit. Despite the monotone nature of his outfit, or perhaps because of it, he looked more handsome than I had ever seen him. I surreptitiously checked him out. His hair was incredibly well kept and combed back, yet still looked incredibly full and soft. His intensely dark eyes bored right through me, and when I looked deeper, they seemed to hold countless stories and emotions beneath them. I found myself wanting to discover all of those stories. His suit jacket had decorative stitching running along the seams, and I had to assume the pants had the same attention to detail. His black dress shirt was perfectly pressed under the black silk tie.
He had leaned back against his chair, one ankle propped on top of his other leg, exposing black dress socks and showcasing impeccably polished black leather shoes. There was an oversized wine goblet propped on his knee, and he exuded an air of confidence.
A part of me was still ticked off that I was here, to begin with, but the other part… The other part wanted to climb him like a tree. I looked down at my outfit and felt entirely underdressed and mediocre.
Food. I was here for the food. I cracked my knuckles with my thumbs as I refocused my thoughts on more appropriate things.
“Sit,” he said as I stepped inside, then gestured to the chair beside him with his free hand.
Though I was hungry, I hesitated. I didn’t like taking direction from this man. That right was pretty much reserved for my COs, and I wasn’t in the military anymore. I turned my head back to the doorway and found Asmodeus still there, standing guard with his hands clasped in front of him. He gave me a curt nod as if to let me know it was okay to sit. That irked me even more, but I was starving. I took my seat and looked Lucifer in the eye.
“Why the sudden shift in demeanor?” I wondered out loud. “What is all this? You trying to butter me up now? I told you, I don’t know shit.”
“Calm down,” Lucifer responded calmly. “I simply realized that you are human and still need your nutrition. Relax and eat.” He waved his hand in the general direction of the food before me. I noticed he had helped himself to a plateful of food before I had arrived, though it appeared untouched so far.
I couldn’t argue. I was starving, after all. I picked up the tongs and started with the Caesar salad that was in front of me. It was piled high in a large stainless steel bowl, with a smaller bowl of dressing beside it. I looked up and realized the ridiculousness of this entire scenario. I put the tongs down and turned to face Lucifer directly.
“Would you like to say grace?”
Lucifer looked at me for a moment, and then a small grin spread across his face. He chuckled. “That was good. You had me there for a minute!”
I noticed that his smile reached his eyes, and that made him suddenly seem significantly more human. My next thought caught in my throat, but I fought through it, determined not to get distracted.
“So, what’s up? I don’t appreciate being dragged down here and subjected to this shit. What do you want?” My patience was gone by this point. I needed answers.
“Subjected to dinner?” he replied dryly, “How terrible for you. Besides, you know what I want.” Lucifer spoke smoothly and calmly. “I want to know how you are able to hurt me. You see, no one has ever been able to hurt me before. Ever.” He pointed right at me. “This makes you special. This makes you different. I don’t like different and especially not this kind of different. I want answers. And if you haven’t heard, I pretty much have all of eternity to get them. I’m not in a rush. In the meantime, you need to eat.” He gestured to the food in front of me matter-of-factly. “So, eat up.”
Speaking to Lucifer in such a casual environment caused me to relax just a bit because, for a moment, it almost felt like I was seeing the man behind the wings. I took a calming breath then picked the tongs back up and piled one, two, three batches of Caesar salad onto my small plate. I then reached for the ladle and drizzled a generous amount of dressing over the salad. It’s not a salad unless you add completely unnecess
ary calories to negate all the health benefits. Everyone knows that.
As I regarded the salad, I took note of the place setting and the gold rim around each white plate. It coordinated perfectly with the gold utensils and the gold stitching in the white cloth napkins. I was grateful that I not only had a water glass before me but also my own oversized wine goblet. I felt I deserved a glass, or five. The entire setting seemed very overdone, but I wasn’t about to question a decent meal. I picked up my fork and began collecting a handful of lettuce leaves onto the prongs, ensuring the perfect ratio of dressing to salad as I did so.
“So other than me, no one in the history of, like, ever has been able to hurt you?” I asked, suddenly curious.
“Nope.” Lucifer furrowed his brow in thought. “I mean, Michael and I have certainly had our moments, but no real damage has ever been done. I will be here forever. Until the end of time. Unless, apparently, you have anything to do with it.” He looked up at me, and I finally saw his personality buried in the depths of his impossibly dark eyes. He looked as if he was searching for the answers in my face. I felt a tingle down my spine. I decided to ignore it.
“Michael. You mean the archangel?” I asked fork halfway to my mouth. I realized after I asked the question that it was probably a dumb one to ask.
“I mean, my brother,” he replied simply.
This was all blowing my mind. After taking my first bite of salad, I quickly grabbed the bottle of wine on the table and filled my glass. I needed a drink. I noticed the label said Screaming Eagle with a simple unimpressive label. I wondered what the liquor collection of an immortal, timeless being must look like.