The thought that maybe he hadn’t been enjoying their kiss anywhere near as much as she was made her want to berate herself for giving in to physical attraction. Sure, it was strong, but she was stronger. At least she’d thought she was.
Jason took her chin between his thumb and forefinger so she’d look at him. “Don’t think I wouldn’t like to continue this, but I don’t want you to regret anything about me in the morning.”
Was he for real? She didn’t know whether to be annoyed he thought things would have gone any further than the kiss or appreciate the fact that he was considering her feelings.
“You’re assuming I’d even think about you in the morning.”
He released her chin but smiled. “Not even a little bit?”
How did he do that, maintain a good attitude even when she acted waspish? Not for the first time, she wondered where that particular part of her personality came from. Her dad certainly hadn’t been prone to such behavior. At least he’d never shown it around her. Adults did often hold some of their worst habits in reserve around kids, but she just couldn’t imagine her dad lashing out at someone with no real provocation. And the way her dad had always talked about her mom, Sloane didn’t think she inherited the trait from her either.
“Sorry. I don’t know why I do that.” And she sure as heck didn’t know why she’d just confessed that to him either.
He shrugged. “I’m not your type.”
She immediately opened her mouth to rebut him but somehow managed to stop herself. Maybe it was best to let him think that, considering they were never going to see each other again, and something about the idea of him thinking she was back here in Blue Falls pining for him made her want to snarl. Probably because she loathed the idea that Blake had once made her feel that way and he likely knew it. She’d sworn to herself she’d never be that person again. Maybe that was part of the reason she hadn’t found a relationship that really worked in the years since.
Jason’s lips formed a mischievous grin that made her laugh unexpectedly, considering the train of thought her mind had been traveling.
“You’re rotten,” she said.
“You didn’t think so a minute ago.”
She punched him in the arm, not hard but not softly either. He just laughed and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. Instinct told her to pull away, but she didn’t. If this was to be their only time together, she was going to sit here and enjoy what there was left of it.
“That was the best kiss I’ve had in a long time,” he said.
She fought the smile that wanted to take over her entire face. It should sound like a cheesy line, but instead his words rang with a truth that hit her so deeply it stole her breath for a few moments. And she wasn’t the kind of gal whose breath was stolen easily.
“It was fair.” She couldn’t manage to keep a straight face, but at least it was dark now.
“You just keep telling yourself that.”
An unfamiliar feeling filled her. Giddiness. She was actually giddy, like some caricature of a teenage girl if the boy she liked even looked at her. Geez, maybe she needed to toss herself in the river.
“Where are you staying tonight?” They’d agreed to keep this date on the down-low, so he wouldn’t be coming back to the ranch.
“Probably drive a ways, then catch a few hours’ sleep in the truck.”
“That seems mighty uncomfortable.”
“Little harder than it used to be when I was younger but I manage. Not the first time I’ve done it.”
The thought of getting a room for the night with him formed with such clarity in her mind that she couldn’t look his direction for fear he’d see the scene, as well.
“Do you ever get tired of life on the road?”
He didn’t immediately respond, was in fact quiet so long that she thought maybe he hadn’t heard her even though she knew he must have.
“Sometimes.”
There was something about the way he said that single word, as if it was a mixture of uncertainty and stunning realization that caused her to turn toward him.
“I mean, toward the end of the season, it’s like anyone else who’s ready for a vacation.”
She wasn’t sure that’s exactly what he’d meant by his initial response, but she didn’t question his explanation. It was possible she was hearing something that wasn’t there, though she didn’t think so.
“What about you?” he asked. “Ever want to get away from the ranch?”
“I’m not there now.”
“That’s not what I mean. For longer than a secret date.”
Secret date. That made it sound as if she was doing something bad, a teenager sneaking out to see the wrong kind of boy.
“Not really. I have everything I want right where I am.” Sure, the occasional weekend trip was nice, and she could remember enjoying things about living in San Antonio as a kid, but the ranch was her home. There was nothing like watching the sunrise or sunset over what looked like endless pastures. Or seeing the way the kids who came to her camps gradually shed some of the fear and anxiety so many of them carried with them like a second shadow.
“That’s good.”
She thought she caught a smidge of wistfulness in his voice.
“Do you enjoy what you do?”
“I don’t think wrestling steers is something you do if you don’t enjoy it. Lots of safer ways to make a living.”
Maybe she’d just imagined the hint of doubt she’d thought she heard in his voice. Was some annoyingly needy part of her hoping he was dissatisfied and would stick around? Well, that was selfish, not to mention unwise.
“I really should be getting home,” she said. “A rancher’s work is never done.”
Instead of trying to get her to stay longer, he stood and extended his hand to her. She probably shouldn’t take it, but she did anyway. If she only had a few minutes left with him, she wanted to hush the argument in her head and allow herself to enjoy it.
They didn’t talk on the way back to their vehicles, and they didn’t rush either. Sloane felt as if she was inhabiting someone else’s body with a lot of unfamiliar feelings tumbling around inside of her. But if she had to tell the truth, this time with Jason felt good. Really good. So much so that she had to admit she wished it could last all night.
But she still had a grip on enough common sense that she wouldn’t allow herself to step across that particular line. That decision proved difficult to stick to when they reached her truck and Jason spun her into his arms and kissed her again. Though she should be backing away, she fell into the kiss as if it were a huge, clear lake and she was on fire. The way she felt as Jason’s strong arms pulled her even closer might very well cause her to combust.
Again, Jason was the first one to step away, only slightly.
“I think we better walk away from each other, don’t you?”
It was as if he’d somehow read her desire but also her determination not to let things go beyond the point of no return.
“Yeah.” Something in the middle of her chest screamed at her to take back that single word, to change her answer. Instead, she said, “I had a nice time tonight. Thanks for convincing me to do this.”
Jason cupped her face with one hand and ran his thumb across her cheek in a gesture so gentle her heart flipped. “I’m glad you showed up. I wasn’t sure you would.”
“Neither was I.”
“Am I that scary?”
“No.” Maybe. “I’m just practical and this is anything but.”
“Sometimes practical is overrated.”
The way her body was currently humming, she had to agree. Before she let that idea run amok, she took a couple of steps away from him, gradually ending their contact. She held his hand, slowly sliding her fingers along the length of his until nothing b
ut air touched her hand. She missed the contact immediately, but she didn’t allow herself to seek it out again.
“Good luck at your next rodeo and with the rest of the season.”
“Thanks.”
For a moment she thought he would say something else and found herself desperately wanting to know what it was. But instead of speaking, he opened her door and gave her a smile she feared would take a long time to forget.
Shooting him a quick smile in return, she climbed into the driver’s seat. Neither of them said anything else before she closed the door and drove off down Poppy’s main street. To her left, over in the darkness, the river rolled on like it always had. Like her life would. An unexpected sadness settled in her heart.
* * *
JASON LEANED AGAINST the rear fender of his truck and watched Sloane drive away. What was it about her that made him want to chase her down to steal one more kiss? Yes, she was beautiful, though he wondered if she realized it. She was close with her family just like he was and extended that caring to children who often didn’t have families in their lives. All those things were admirable, but she wasn’t the first woman he’d met who was kind and giving. Even when she was prickly, he found her so dang attractive he could barely keep his hands to himself.
Maybe it didn’t matter why he felt so drawn to her, only that he was. But even that defied logic and common sense because his life was about chasing a dream—one within his grasp if he kept his focus where it should be. So why in this moment did he have zero desire to get in his truck and head toward the next rodeo?
Because you’re not thinking with the head on top of your shoulders at the moment.
Maybe it was as simple as that. He hadn’t gotten laid in quite a while, and his hormones were staging a riot. So he climbed behind the wheel, started the engine and drove out of Poppy into the endless darkness of the Texas countryside. And tried not to think about how a woman he’d met three days ago knocked him temporarily off course. How, at the moment, the thought of being with her beckoned to him more than any rodeo ever had.
Chapter Nine
Sloane listened to the pop of gravel under the truck’s tires as she drove up the ranch’s driveway. Ahead, she could see the flicker of the TV through the house’s front window. She should have made the date last longer so everyone would be asleep when she came home. Because how was she supposed to act natural when she entered the house if she could still feel Jason’s kisses on her lips?
A part of her blamed him for putting her in this awkward position. She wasn’t the type of person to feel jittery and awkward and, ugh, needy, and yet all of those feelings tumbled around inside her as if they were having a party without her consent.
Oh, hell, she was overthinking this whole thing. She parked and got out of the truck as if she hadn’t spent the past few hours imagining a near stranger naked and sucking face in the darkness.
As she entered the house, her mom looked up from where she sat alone on the couch with her laptop. The TV had been turned off sometime between when Sloane parked and when she’d stepped inside.
“How was your meeting?” her mom asked.
“Good.” Sloane pointed at the laptop. “What are you working on?”
“Creating a Facebook page for the farmers’ market. Well, I started it earlier, and we already have over a hundred likes.”
Sloane grinned. “You sounding excited about social media is very amusing.”
Her mom shrugged. “There’s something oddly exciting about seeing that ‘like’ number go up. And I’ve already chatted with three people who are interested in taking part in the next one.”
“I’m glad you’re enjoying it. Let me know if you need help with anything.” Since her mom and Mandy’s mom started the periodic farmers’ market in town, they’d both jumped on the project with impressive enthusiasm, their friendship growing stronger in the process.
Her mom closed her laptop and placed it on the coffee table. “If I don’t move now, I may need help getting off this couch. I’ve been sitting here since after dinner. I think everyone but your sister has gone home or to bed.” Her mom yawned. “Obviously, that’s where I need to go.”
As her mom passed her, she paused to give Sloane a quick kiss on the cheek. Sloane held her breath, hoping her mom couldn’t somehow smell Jason on her.
“Good night, girls.”
“Good night, Mom,” Sloane said at the same time Angel did from where she sat at the dining room table working on her own computer.
As soon as her mom disappeared into her bedroom, Sloane walked into the dining area. “Working or playing?”
Angel for some reason made a sound that indicated she was amused by the question. “Working. How was your date?”
“I—”
Angel held up her hand in a “stop” gesture. “Don’t bother.”
“I’m going to kill Ben.”
Angel grinned. “To be fair, I didn’t give him a choice about sharing what he knew. Plus, I already had suspicions. Now, stop avoiding my question and tell me how it went.”
Sloane huffed in exasperation before sinking onto the chair opposite her sister. “Don’t breathe a word to anyone. It was one dinner, and I’ll never see the guy again.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that. That man could barely peel his eyes off you the entire time he was here.”
“You’re imagining things.”
“Nope, pretty dang sure I’m not.”
Sloane slid down in the chair and closed her eyes. Maybe talking to her sister about Jason would help her straighten things out in her head.
“I don’t know why I agreed to have dinner with him.”
“I do. He pushed all your buttons.”
Sloane eyed her sister. “My buttons?”
“He was great with the kids, Mom and Dad like him, the guys didn’t run him off the ranch and it doesn’t hurt that he’s hot.”
No, it didn’t.
“Maybe I’m thinking about the whole thing too much. Everyone needs a night out now and then.”
“See, the way you say that tells me that you feel differently about him than anyone else you’ve ever gone out with.”
Sloane considered denying it, but what would be the benefit in that? It seemed Angel had her pegged anyway. It was true she’d not felt this way in a long time, maybe ever. It wasn’t the same as with Blake—it couldn’t be. And the other men she’d dated...well, her attraction to Jason wasn’t even in the same universe.
“I can’t really describe it, not that it matters.”
“Of course it matters, maybe more for you than any of us.”
“What does that mean?”
Angel scooted her computer to the side and leaned on the table. “You have a comfort zone of people getting close to you. You’re great up until someone threatens to cross that invisible line, then you go all quills-out porcupine.”
“Wow, nice image.”
“Truth hurts, babe.”
“Do I come across as bitchy?” She sure hoped not. She couldn’t stand bitchy women.
“Not exactly, but there’s a definite ‘don’t mess with me’ vibe sometimes.” Angel’s expression grew more serious. “Part of me understands it. You don’t want to be hurt. I totally get that. But it’s also lonely if you never let anyone in.”
Sloane suspected Angel might be speaking about herself now. But her sister probably wasn’t thinking about herself as a cautionary tale. She’d let someone in and it hadn’t ended well. They had that in common. Angel was raising a daughter alone as a result of her failed relationship. That so easily could have been Sloane. Thankfully, Julia had aunts and uncles and grandparents around all the time, so Angel wasn’t truly alone. But Julia’s dad was who knew where.
“I’ve never thought of myself as lonely.
I like my life just the way it is.” Except she wasn’t totally sure that was true anymore. If it was, why would she have felt such longing around Jason and a pang in her middle as she’d driven away from him?
“You can keep this life and still find someone. Neil and Ben haven’t gone anywhere.”
“Maybe so, but it won’t be Jason.”
“You don’t know that for sure. Life has an interesting way of steering you down roads you didn’t even know existed.”
Sloane refused to argue the point any further. Let her sister believe what she wanted. Sloane chose to live in reality, not fantasy.
Thunder rumbled in the distance. Sloane raised her finger in the air, as if pointing to the thunder. “Sounds as if it’ll be a good sleeping night, so I’m off to bed.” She pushed away from the table and stood.
“Sweet dreams of hunky rodeo cowboys.”
Sloane headed for the doorway. “I need to talk to Mom and Dad tomorrow about trading you in for a newer model of little sister. I hear they have ones now that aren’t so annoying.”
Angel’s chuckle followed Sloane out of the room and toward her bedroom. By the time she’d changed into her pajamas, rain had begun to patter on the roof. As she slipped into bed, she seemed powerless to keep her thoughts from drifting to Jason. To the feel of his mouth on hers and how that contact had awakened a desire in her that was one part exciting and one part scary as hell. And really, really stupid. What good did it do to kiss a man she was never going to see again, especially when that kiss still had her body tingling? None at all.
She flipped onto her side and wrapped her extra pillow in the circle of her arms. As she listened to the rain grow in intensity, she wondered where Jason was at that moment. If he was on the road, would he have the sense God gave a potato to pull over and let the worst of the rain pass? She shivered at the image of him driving off into a ditch.
She closed her eyes and shook her head. He’d successfully been driving dark roads between rodeo stops for more than a decade, so he didn’t need her worrying about him. And now that he was gone, she needed to shift her thoughts in a different direction. Ways to help the ranch prosper and plans for future camps and how to fund them. Those things and her family were what were important to her, not some passing-through-town cowboy. Not even if his kisses did make her feel more alive than she had ever known was possible.
Her Texas Rodeo Cowboy Page 9