“Art is in the eye of the beholder. Personally, I think your livestock are way more talented than some famous painters.”
Sloane appreciated Merline’s words of support, but she was still faced with the fact that at the very least she was going to need to postpone any future camps. She needed to focus her time, energy and money on Brent.
Merline turned to leave, then placed her hand on Sloane’s forearm. “Don’t be too disheartened. Things have a way of working out in the end.”
Sloane got the feeling that it wasn’t only the paintings and camps she was talking about. She had hoped no one in her family would mention Jason’s absence, but maybe someone had let it slip. Or perhaps Merline was just speaking from experience. After all, she had three sons of her own, all of whom were happily married now, but not before going through some serious ups and downs in their relationships.
After the opening finally ended, Sloane made sure to thank everyone for attending before she gave Merline a quick hug and practically raced to her truck, thankful she’d arrived earlier and separate from the rest of her family. As soon as she sat in the driver’s seat, her phone rang. When she saw it was Jason, she didn’t answer. She wasn’t ready to talk to him yet because she didn’t know what she was going to say, or even if she could get through it without crying the way she had after he’d told her he wasn’t going to be at the art exhibit opening.
She’d promised herself years ago she wasn’t ever going to let a man make her cry again, but she hadn’t been able to stop the tears.
When she didn’t answer, it didn’t take long for a text message to come in. Unable to keep herself from looking, she read it.
Hope the opening went well and you sold tons of paintings for tons of money.
Her thumbs hovered above the screen, but she decided not to respond. If she was going to end things, there was no need to seem hasty to reply. With another of those annoying lumps forming in her throat, she tossed the phone aside and headed home.
As soon as she reached the house, she took advantage of the fact that she was the first one there and went straight to her room. She didn’t even turn on the light, hoping they’d think she was so tired she’d gone to bed. The truth was she was tired, in more ways than one.
She heard her phone buzz again, and she suspected Jason might continue to text until he heard from her. Blinking back tears, she retrieved her phone and typed a response to his first message without even reading the newest one.
Went fine. Really tired. Going to bed now.
And that’s exactly what she did, trying not to think about Jason lying in a bed hundreds of miles away. Trying but failing to avoid wishing he was lying beside her instead. As she curled up beneath the covers, her plush giraffe wrapped in her arms, she lost the battle once again as tears leaked from her eyes to soak her pillow.
Chapter Sixteen
Jason laughed at what must have been a funny story told by his brother-in-law, even though he had no clue what Kevin had said. He just took his cue from the other people standing around the same circle.
Ever since he’d gotten the short, emotionless text from Sloane after the art exhibit opening, he’d had a hard time concentrating on anything. He’d darn near skipped his parents’ anniversary party to drive to Texas. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that he’d hurt her even though she’d said she understood. Did she think he was abandoning her the way her scumbag of an ex had? The way she felt so many people in her life had, whether it had been their choice or not?
“Can I steal you?” Shannon asked as she slipped her arm through his. She didn’t wait for an answer before turning him away from the others and escorting him straight out the back door.
Thankfully it was one of the warmer November days in Idaho. This time of year, it could go from pleasant to frigid within hours.
“What’s up?” he asked.
“Not your mood. What happened?”
“Nothing. I’m fine.”
“You forget I’ve been sniffing out your lies since you were born. Is this about Sloane?”
“What makes you say that?”
“Well, maybe the fact that every time we talk, you spend more time talking about her than rodeo, and today you haven’t mentioned her once.”
He gestured toward the house with his thumb. “This is Mom and Dad’s day.”
“Don’t you think it would make them happy that you’ve finally found someone?”
“Not according to Dad.”
Shannon’s look of surprise was so genuine it made him wish he hadn’t introduced that bit of info into the conversation. “Tell me what he said.”
“It doesn’t matter. I think Sloane is done with me.”
“Why do you say that?”
“I don’t want to talk about this.”
“Tough. You’re not going back in that house until you spill even if I have to tackle you by the ankles and hold you here.”
He had no doubt she wouldn’t hesitate to do exactly that. With a sigh, he walked over to the wooden swing hanging from a frame that faced out toward the snowcapped mountains in the distance and sat. Then he told her about how their dad didn’t want a woman distracting him from the goal of making the Finals, how he’d had to bail on Sloane to keep the possibility of reaching that goal alive. And about how he felt as if Sloane was pulling away because of it.
“You do know that it’s your life and not Dad’s, right? He had his chance.”
“But he should have had more chances.”
“It’s not your fault that he didn’t.”
“She’s right.”
Jason turned toward the sound of his mother’s voice. She walked toward where he and Shannon sat and sank onto the bench next to the swing.
“You need to do what makes you happy.”
“I am,” he said.
“Your heart hasn’t been in riding for a while.”
“What? Of course it has.” The dream of winning the Finals wasn’t his dad’s dream alone. But was that dream as strong as it once was?
His mom reached over and squeezed his hand. “You love Sloane, don’t you?”
“I don’t know.”
His mom smiled at the same time Shannon made a frustrated sound. “Yes, you do. You need to tell her that.”
Jason didn’t even wait until the party was over to call Sloane. But again, she didn’t answer. Well, he wasn’t accepting her silence, not without laying out all his feelings. He wasn’t sure what he was going to do about the rest of the rodeo season yet, but he did know that he had to speak to Sloane, so he called the Hartleys’ house number.
Angel was the one to answer the phone. “Oh, hi. Sloane’s not here.”
His frustration level rose at the same time as his heart sank. “She’s not answering her phone.”
Angel’s lack of a quick explanation made him wonder if he’d already missed his chance.
“Please tell me she doesn’t think I abandoned her.”
“Jason, I’m sorry. She understood, but I think it made her believe that she should end things. She says she’s protecting Brent from any possible heartbreak, but I know my sister. That’s only part of the reason.”
“This has to do with Blake.” Again, he wanted to find her ex and punish him for hurting Sloane.
But he’d done the same thing, hadn’t he? Not intentionally, but sometimes actions had unintended consequences.
“Yeah. She thinks by being the one to leave the relationship first, she’ll be protecting herself from worse hurt when you inevitably leave her.”
“I would never do that. I love her.”
“I know.”
“You do?”
“Yes. But don’t worry. It’s usually obvious to onlookers way before the people actually involved.”
&n
bsp; “Does—” He stopped himself from asking the question when he realized how desperate it sounded.
“Yes, but it doesn’t matter at this point.”
Doesn’t matter? “I don’t understand.”
“Sloane has to come to big changes in her life in her own time without pressure, no matter how much we might try to convince her otherwise.”
He wasn’t sure that was true. “She seemed to decide to become a foster parent pretty quickly.”
“Not really. That was going to happen eventually, even if she didn’t realize it. Every time she’d hold a camp, those kids took a piece of her heart with them. She’d adopt every kid in foster care, every orphan if she could.”
Angel was right. He’d told Sloane something similar himself, and he’d seen with his own eyes how much watching the campers being driven away from the ranch had affected her.
“It’ll hurt her if she can’t hold the camps anymore, but at least she’ll be giving a little boy a real home and lots of love,” Angel said.
“She’s not having any more camps?”
“We don’t know yet. She’s trying to think of more fund-raising ideas, but it’s on the back burner at the moment.”
“What about the art sales?”
Angel sighed. “Not going well. She only sold one small piece at the opening and none since.”
His heart fell like a stone into the pit of his stomach. Not only had the opening not gone well, but he also hadn’t been there to support her.
“What should I do?”
“I know this isn’t the answer you want and it’s counterintuitive, but give her time. I have faith she’ll come around when she’s ready.”
Angel was right. That wasn’t the answer he wanted. He’d give Sloane time, but he couldn’t just wait and do nothing. He was going to make things right—for everyone. His parents. Sloane. And himself.
The first step was talking to his dad. Unwilling to put a damper on the anniversary celebrations, however, he decided to wait until the next day. When his dad found him in the barn later that night, Jason took the opportunity before he chickened out.
“What’s on your mind, son? You look as if your thoughts are a million miles away.”
Actually, a little over fourteen hundred miles, but who was counting?
“Been thinking about the Finals.”
“You seem to be back on track. You’re going to make it. I feel it in my old, creaky bones.”
“That’s the plan.” With a deep breath, he turned toward his dad. “I’m going to do my best to win, but after it’s done I’m retiring.”
“You sure that’s what you want?”
That hadn’t been the reaction Jason expected. He’d pictured his dad trying to talk him out of it, telling him he still had some good years left in him. Had his mom said something to his dad?
“Yes.”
“You’ve found the one, haven’t you?”
Jason smiled. His dad wasn’t the most romantic of men, but there’d never been any doubt about Jason’s mom being the one and only woman for his dad.
“Yeah, I have. I just have to convince her.” Though they’d never really talked about feelings before, Jason found himself filling his dad in on the situation with Sloane.
His dad nodded as if he understood perfectly. “Being adopted, you always feel as if relationships are temporary, as if they might disappear in the blink of an eye. And sounds as if her jackass of an ex didn’t help matters any.”
He’d never known his dad felt that way, but that was no surprise, what with the whole not talking about feelings thing.
“No, he didn’t. Good thing I don’t know where he is.”
His dad chuckled a bit at that. “Yeah, good thing. Can’t make it to the Finals if you’re sitting in jail for assault.”
And he’d be spending his time more constructively by helping Sloane get past the...well, the past.
“What are you going to do once you retire?”
“I have no idea. But I plan to do it in Texas.”
Where Sloane would hopefully be at his side. And where he could help her make her dream come true.
* * *
SLOANE MADE SURE to smile at Brent every time he looked at her, wanting him to feel loved and as if his new home had been his home his entire life. Her heart lifted as the members of her family took turns engaging Brent. Her mother promised him chocolate cake the next day. Julia said she would lend him her favorite puzzle. Neil said he’d take him on a ride around the ranch. Ben made Brent giggle when he put a dollop of mashed potatoes on the end of his nose. She’d worried when she picked up Brent because he’d been really quiet, had retreated back into his shell.
But a couple of days at the ranch and he was like a different kid. She could still see the worry in his eyes sometimes, as if he was afraid he was dreaming and would wake up at any moment, but at least he was laughing now, speaking more and more with the people around him.
Her heart filled with more happiness than she had dared hope she’d ever feel again. Even so, there was still a spot that remained empty and lonely. But she’d made the right choice. She hadn’t had a text or call from Jason in two weeks. It hurt, hurt a lot, but at least she’d ended things before she’d revealed exactly how she felt about him. Feelings she would have to find a way to eliminate from her heart.
“He looks happy,” Angel said from her seat next to Sloane.
“He does, doesn’t he?”
“I only wish his mom was half as happy.”
She knew Angel thought she’d made a big mistake cutting things off with Jason, but she had more to consider now than her own feelings. It probably seemed irrational to everyone around her, but she couldn’t stand the idea of Brent being abandoned one more time. A voice in her head told her she was inventing an eventuality that wasn’t there. Jason had surprised her with how attentive he was, how caring, how loving, even when he was hundreds of miles away.
But he’d never said he loved her. To be fair, she hadn’t admitted her feelings either. Those feelings aside, realistically how long could they keep going like they had been? Didn’t absence make hearts grow fonder only if those hearts eventually were going to be living in the same place?
She’d gotten so lost in her thoughts that she realized too much time had passed to respond to Angel. Her sister had already directed her attention to a conversation with Mandy. Even with her entire family surrounding her, Sloane suddenly felt incredibly alone.
After dinner and a family viewing of A Christmas Story, Sloane scooped up Brent, who had fallen asleep in her father’s lap, and carried him to bed. Not wanting to wake him, she decided to forgo changing him into his little reindeer pajamas. She slipped off his sneakers and pulled the covers over him.
For a few moments, she sat on the side of his bed in what had once been Ben’s room and simply watched him sleep, grateful he felt safe enough to do so. Hoping she didn’t wake him up, she reached over and gave him a light kiss before easing out of the room.
After stopping by the kitchen for a couple of snickerdoodles Mandy’s mom had sent over in a big tin, she headed back to the living room.
“What are you all watching?” Sloane asked as she entered the room.
But then she heard the words National Finals Rodeo on the TV and turned to look at the screen. She froze as she saw a steer wrestler race out of the chute in hot pursuit of the released steer. It wasn’t Jason, but she knew he was there. Despite her determination not to communicate with him, she hadn’t been strong enough to stop checking the standings right up until she saw that he’d made the Finals.
“We want to see Jason compete,” her mom said.
Sloane suspected that was only half true. The other half of the reason had to do with her family’s belief that she’d made a mistake avoiding
him until he’d disappeared from her life.
She should just go to her room, but the draw of seeing him, even if on a TV screen, was too strong.
They all watched as two more steer wrestlers made their runs, garnering really good scores. Of course, the level of competition was much higher at the Finals than at the local rodeos. In Vegas, everyone was a potential champion, the cream of the rodeo crop.
Her heart started thumping harder when she saw Jason was up next. She suspected at least some of her family members were watching for her reaction, but she kept her eyes focused on the screen as Jason and his hazer got into position.
“Next up is Idaho cowboy Jason Till,” the announcer said. “Till has been here once before, and he’s no doubt hoping to improve on his first appearance.”
Sloane felt as if everything slipped into slow motion except the frantic beating of her heart. The screen showed a close-up of Jason’s face, and she missed him so much she thought her heart would actually break to pieces. She watched as he nodded, and then the race against the clock was on. She held her breath as Jason started leaning off the side of his horse and then went sailing through the air.
The steer was an ornery one, but Jason finally got the animal flipped and tied. But then the animal jerked its head right as Jason appeared to trip. She gasped at the same time as the crowd on TV.
“Looks like Till may have just taken a horn to the face.” The camera focused on Jason long enough for her to see the blood pouring from his cheek right below his eye before cutting away.
“Oh, my God,” she said, as her mother, who was sitting on the end of the couch nearest Sloane, gripped her hand.
It was then that Sloane realized she was shaking uncontrollably. As scared as she was, she couldn’t tear her gaze away from the TV. She wanted to be there to help him, to make sure he was taken care of.
She wasn’t sure how long it actually was but it felt like an eternity before Jason got to his feet with the help of a couple of other cowboys. She couldn’t tell how bad the injury was because the camera angles were such that viewers weren’t exposed to the gruesome cut.
“Look there, honey,” her mom said. “He’s walking out under his own power.”
Her Texas Rodeo Cowboy Page 17