“I was caller number thirteen,” Caliph said.
“Caller number thirteen? What are you talking about?” Tamela asked as she leaned back in her chair and allowed the last of the folders to rest in her lap.
“You know … I was caller number thirteen on the ‘Tom Joyner Morning Show’ and I won a prize that I have to collect this weekend,” he said.
“You’re kidding. I stopped trying to call in on those shows. I was always getting a busy signal,” she said.
“I have a system that works sometimes. Right when I think they’re getting ready to offer a prize, I dial the number and if I get a busy signal or I’m the wrong caller, I just keep hitting redial,” Caliph said.
“So what did you win and what do you need me for?”
“Well, I know this is kinda early, seeing how we’ve only been on one date, but I won a weekend suite with room service and all at the Four Seasons hotel. And I don’t have anyone to share it with me. You game?”
“A weekend at the Four Seasons … hum, I don’t know,” Tamela said. Caliph was right. This was kind of early for an overnight date. Was this some type of scheme? If it was, it showed a lot of creativity, Tamela thought, and money.
“I promise it’s all aboveboard. It’s a suite so I will sleep on the sofa. You know, if they don’t have a sofa then I’ll sleep on the floor. I’ll be the perfect gentleman,” Caliph said.
“Let me think about it. It’s not that I’m worried about your gentlemanly qualities, but I’m really busy with my new case,” Tamela said.
“How is that going?” Caliph asked.
“Fine. It’s all going fine,” Tamela said. She was not comfortable talking about her work with Caliph yet.
“Please think about it and you know I’m not rushing you, but I need to know soon. I just can’t see spending a weekend alone in a beautiful hotel suite,” Caliph said.
“Well, I’m sure you can just look in that little black book of yours and come up with somebody, Mr. Taylor.” Tamela still wasn’t convinced that someone as fine as Caliph would be on her like milk on cereal. She knew he had his choice of more than one woman. Unless something was wrong with him.
“True … true, probably could,” he laughed. “But you’re the one I want to spend time with.”
“Why?”
“Come on, Tamela, don’t go playing lawyer with me. Just let it go that I want you to share my good fortune. Why can’t you women just let a brother try to do something nice?” he snapped.
“You women,” Tamela said. “Don’t go there, Caliph … you don’t want to do it … don’t go there.”
“Aw, how did we get here? Let me start all over. Ms. Coleman, I was caller number thirteen, I won a great prize. A prize I would like to share with you because I enjoyed our date and previous conversations. We both said we wanted to have another date. Would you consider my request and give me an answer in the next twenty-four hours?” Caliph said in a voice alternating from serious to silly.
“Yes, Mr. Taylor, I will consider your request and get back to you in twenty-four hours or less,” Tamela said as she caught a glimpse of herself smiling in the windows of her office.
“Then I’ll await your reply,” he said.
“Bye, Caliph. I’ll talk to you.”
Sean dropped off his sheets, dirty underwear, and jeans at the Wash N Fold two blocks from his apartment and then stopped for a cup of coffee and bagel. The morning was not off to a good start. He had received a call from his editor at Sports Today saying they were going to put the article on black quarterbacks on hold until the situation with Zurich Robinson was cleared up. The editor said he didn’t think it was in good taste to be doing a feature that would include a guy whose career could be short-lived, or spent in a jail cell. When Sean pointed out that Zurich had not been charged with anything and that he personally didn’t believe that Zurich had done anything wrong, the editor replied, “Well, I admire your confidence but given the current climate with athletes, I would rather be safe than sorry.” Sean wanted to tell him that Zurich’s possible case had nothing to do with other athletes, that he was different. But he held his tongue, because he didn’t want to hear an I told you so, if his impressions of Zurich proved wrong.
The only good news was that Sean had a hefty cancellation fee in his contract and could move onto something else. But that was not going to be easy. Zurich Robinson had piqued Sean’s interest in more ways than one. For Sean it would be difficult to simply walk away. With his country-sophisticate demeanor, Zurich Robinson was getting next to Sean. While his beautiful face and body didn’t hurt, it was his innocence and Dudley Do Right charm that attracted and kept Sean’s attention.
With his morning off to such a bad start, Sean was glad he was having lunch with Anja, who would, no doubt, cheer him up.
Sean walked into JR’s, a midtown restaurant he and his sister tried to meet at once a week, usually Fridays, and studied the day’s specials printed in red crayon on an art-nouveau mirror. All of a sudden he felt someone grab him tightly from behind.
“How you doing, baby brother?” Anja asked as she gave Sean a hug and kiss.
“I’m doing great. Boy, you smell good. What’cha wearing?” Sean said as he hugged his sister tightly. He noticed how nice she looked in a bubble gum pink pantssuit, with a black silk blouse underneath. Her hair was piled high and swooped to the left side, setting off her oval-shaped brown face.
“That’s my body odor, sweetheart. You know I don’t wear perfume during the week,” Anja smiled.
“How’s work?”
“It’s all right. Let’s get a table. You know I don’t have but an hour. Oh, I have something for you,” Anja said as she reached in her purse and handed Sean a note in Magic Marker on tablet paper. It was a thank-you note from Gerald. Sean opened the note and read the nine-year-old’s printing: Thank you, Uncle Sean, for a great day! I had fun at the game and eating hot dogs. Thank your friend for my new shirt. I love you very, very much. Love, Gerald.
“This is really special. I’m going to save this,” Sean said.
“My baby had a great time. That’s all he’s been talking about. How he met all these football players and he’s been sleeping in that jersey your friend gave him. Boy, was he fine,” Anja said.
“Tell the truth, shame the devil. He is a fine one and really nice too,” Sean said as he looked at the menu and smiled to himself. Anja noticed.
“What’s that smile about?”
“What smile?”
“Oh now, don’t go there. I’ve seen that smile before. Whatsup with Mr. Football Player? Is he gay?”
“I don’t know. He might be, but I don’t think he knows yet,” Sean said.
“How so? Now don’t tell me you’re going to become one of those people who thinks everyone is gay,” Anja said.
“You mean they’re not?” Sean teased.
“Now, come on. There’s this guy that works in my department at the bank and he thinks everybody’s gay. Every time a messenger comes in, he says, I bet I can have him. But when it’s somebody who’s not that cute and we say, ‘Oswald, is he gay?’ he’ll laugh and say, ‘Chile, I hope not, y’all can have him,’ ” Anja laughed.
“I don’t know about Zurich Robinson, but I really think he’s incredibly nice. Anyhow, if he is gay and he knows it, he’s probably already got somebody. Probably another football player or some type of athlete, they stick together. Deep in the closet behind last decade’s clothes,” Sean said.
“So nobody won’t tell?” Anja asked.
“You got it. I mean my sister is getting smart,” Sean said.
“You’re an athlete and you definitely know a lot of them.”
“I used to be an athlete. Haven’t you seen this little extra tube I’m carrying around my waist. It’s not removable,” Sean said as he grabbed his midsection.
“It’s removable if you work at it,” Anja said.
“Yeah, I know you’re right. I guess I won’t have that cheeseburger
I was looking at. I guess it’s the salad,” Sean said.
“All you need to do is a few situps and walk a little more,” Anja said.
“I walk almost everywhere I go. I mean I walk sometimes just to save money and to stay away from all the crazies on the subway,” Sean said.
“I know that’s right,” Anja said.
A waiter came over and asked if they were ready to order.
“Yes, she’s having the special, the beef one, and I’m going to have soup and salad, with oil and vinegar dressing,” Sean said as he took the menu from Anja and handed it to the waiter. Almost at the same moment, Sean and Anja both reached for their water glasses and took a long sip of water, and then broke out in an identical smile. The smile teased their mouths, and both struggled to keep the water in place.
“There is something I need to mention to you about my nephew,” Sean said.
“Uh-oh. What did he do now?”
“It’s nothing he did, more of something he said. A favor he asked me.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Saturday, when I took him to register for football and all the little boys were there with their fathers, there was some kind of sadness in his eyes. I mean, I know he was happy that I was there with him, but when a couple of the kids asked him if I was his father, well, the first time he said no, but the second time he said yes and grabbed my hand almost like he wanted to make sure that I wouldn’t tell the truth. Later, when we were heading to the bus stop, he looked up at me and said, ‘Uncle Sean, when I turn thirteen, will you help me find my father?’ I mean I was shocked.”
“What did you say?” Anja asked. She’d been wondering when this was going to come up with her son and how she would handle it.
“I looked at him and said, ‘Do you really want that?’ He was as firm as a nine-year-old can be when he said yes. I told him I would help in any way I could,” Sean said.
“I know he misses his daddy, but I don’t understand how he can miss someone he never knew. Maybe it’s just the image of a father he misses or thinks he needs,” Anja said.
“Don’t you think so?”
“Yeah, I know he needs a father, but he needs a father that’s going to love him and be there for him always, not one who ducks out at the first sign of a problem. I mean I will let Gerald know about his father, but to be honest, Sean, I don’t know what would happen if Gerald found out his father decided not to be in his life, not me. But I realize I might have to take the blame.”
“Do you know where Sean’s father is?”
“The last time I heard, and that was over five years ago, he was in upstate New York, right outside Endicott. That’s when he was working for IBM, but with all the layoffs they’ve been having, I doubt if he would have stayed in that area. I mean Jeff was a real city dweller.”
“Why doesn’t he want to be a part of his son’s life?”
“It’s really kinda stupid when you think about it. It’s payback toward me,” Anja said as she smiled at the server, who placed their meals in front of her and Sean.
“Payback?”
“Yeah, I thought I had told you this story. Anyhow, when I found out I was pregnant, Jeff wanted to marry me, but I wasn’t certain that I wanted to get married or if I was in love with him. So when I refused, he said if I didn’t change my mind he would be out of my life for good and that meant out of his child’s life also. I mean I didn’t know it was going to be a little boy. I think Jeff wanted a little girl since he had all brothers,” Anja said as she took her first bite of food.
“Wait a minute. Are you telling me that this jerk has never seen Gerald?”
“To the best of my knowledge.”
“I bet he couldn’t turn his back on him if he ever saw him, if he ever spent some time with him,” Sean said.
“I used to think the same thing about our father,” Anja said sadly. “I used to think the same thing.”
“Oh, Anja, I’m sorry,” Sean said as he touched his sister’s hand. He knew how she desperately wanted a relationship with their father, but his father was still being a jerk about being in Anja’s life. He knew if his father saw and got to know her that he couldn’t help but love her as he did.
“Oh, don’t worry about it. I mean, look at me, I’m doing okay and I never had a relationship with my father. And Gerald has you. I can’t tell you how much it means to me that you’ve taken such an interest in him.”
“I love him,” Sean said softly.
“I know.”
“I got something else I need to ask,” Sean said.
“What?”
“Does it ever bother you that I’m gay? I meant with my being so involved with Gerald?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Well, you’ve always been very supportive of me”—Sean paused to make sure he had the right words—“Even though I know you wished I was straight, didn’t you?”
“I won’t lie. But I wished you were straight so that your life would be better, not because I think being gay is wrong. I mean look at you. You’re handsome, smart, kind, but you’re alone most of the time,” Anja said.
“I’m not all that. And I’ve gotten used to being by myself,” Sean said.
“But back to your question. I don’t have a problem with you being such a strong influence in my son’s life. You are a man and not a child molester. I think Gerald can learn a lot from you on what being a man really is,” Anja said.
“I’m so proud that you know being a man has nothing to do with who you’re sleeping with, Anja,” Sean said as he gently touched his sister’s hand. She lowered her eyes and smiled sweetly at her brother and then asked, “So you’ve given up on love, for real?”
“Yes, I think so. I mean I know black men can make love with each other, or have sex with each other. I just don’t think we know how to love each other intimately.”
“The same could be said about black men and black women. I mean even when we have a man in our life, I don’t think we’re really intimate in the true sense of the word,” Anja said.
“What do you mean?”
“I think men keep things to themselves, even when they are deeply in love. And we women tell everything, especially when we’re deeply in love.”
“Why do you think that?”
“What are you always saying about straight men being afraid of gay men?”
“What, the fear thing?”
“Yes, I think fear motivates so many of our actions. I mean even I’m afraid of falling in love.”
“Why?”
“Probably the same reason as you. I don’t want to be hurt again,” Anja said.
“So you’re not in love with the good man of the cloth?” He was somewhat relieved that his sister hadn’t fallen for Theodis.
“Oh, I care about him deeply. But I’m not in love with him,” Anja said. “Sometimes it’s the little things about him that bother me the most.”
“Like?” Sean wanted to know if he and his sister liked the same thing in men.
“Well, let’s see, let’s start with his dress. I mean every time I see him he has that church look, you know, jackets that don’t match the polyester pants, cotton-blended shirts over those old man T-shirts, and socks you can see through,” Anja said.
“Stop it … stop it,” Sean laughed as he held his stomach.
“I guess … maybe my infatuation is beginning to fade,” she said.
“What about the age thing? He’s a little bit older, isn’t he?”
“I think about ten years. But that’s not really a problem with me.”
“Do you ever think you were looking for a father in your relationships?”
“Oh, I don’t think so. One of the things that attracted me to Theodis was his faith. I was looking for something and I thought maybe he had it. That dating a preacher was maybe a way of getting closer to God.”
“Has that changed?”
“I’m realizing that he’s a human being, a regular Joe when other p
eople aren’t around. The more time we spend together I see that. Like, for instance, you know occasionally, I like to use a few curse words to get my point across, force of habit. But I was trying to stop that around Theodis, that is until I realized he didn’t seem bothered when he let a cuss word slip every now and then,” Anja said.
“No, don’t tell me the good preacher has used cuss words,” Sean smiled.
“Come on now, stop messing with me.”
“Then what is it? What are you afraid of?”
“I’m scared to let my heart go again on someone I know won’t treat it right,” Anja said.
“But that’s not so strange. Look at me, despite my own personal experiences, I know that two black men, or two men period, can love each other and share a life together. But I’m scared to death of allowing myself to care so deeply for someone who can hurt me,” Sean said.
“So I guess this fear runs in the family,” Anja joked.
“So it’s genetic,” Sean laughed.
“Yeah, it’s genetic,” Anja agreed.
“I’ll do you one better,” Sean said.
“What’s that?”
“It’s probably the one trait we share with every human being in the world.”
“I know that’s right,” Anja said as she tipped her glass toward Sean and smiled.
CHAPTER 17
IN MY SOLITUDE
Another week, another loss, this time a 44–0 blowout to San Francisco, and Zurich was praying for spring. The DA still hadn’t decided whether to press charges, but every day at practice Zurich had to say “no comment” to the same reporter, who wanted to know if charges against him were still pending. The reporter was a former police-beat reporter who had discovered and made the police report public without mentioning Mia’s name. Several other sports writers seemed annoyed and bothered by this journalist, who had invaded their territory and insisted on asking the same question daily.
Zurich needed some peace and it seemed like the only place he found it was sitting on a wooden bench in front of his locker. He hadn’t shaved his head for several days, and his skull was covered with the dark fuzz of a newborn. The morning before, MamaCee had teased, “Baby, are you thinking ’bout getting one of them curls now that you lettin’ yo hairs grow back?”
And This Too Shall Pass Page 23