by Alex Fall
My anger swirled and simmered in my mind, but I bit my tongue. No, Lori is sincere. She's glass. I don't need to be angry at her. My hand went up to my temple as I simply replied, "Soon. I will soon."
I left Lori at my personal gym. I thought about visiting the lab. I've been spending a large portion of time there as well. I've got the cure at last. At least, I think I do. I've done no testing whatsoever. All I have to go on is Elly's strange interpretations of science from another world, and Keegan's memories of creating a "magic fusion" serum. The reverse engineering process led to a cure related to a form of adrenaline. I don't know how fast acting this is, and I don't know how much is needed for an effective dose. How will I know who I've already administered it to? Also, what form should it be administered in? Gas? Tablets? Injections? Besides, giving adrenaline to people who are already fighting me is going to be, in a word, problematic. Yet, in theory it should work. I still need to iron out the kinks. I still need to devote more time.
But first, the most important thing of all: Perez Northeast Med. Floor 2, room 117. I entered the pristine off white hallway. The familiar picture frames of grassy fields and windmills greeted me. I passed the nurse's station and nodded to them. They nodded back. No need to sign in, I'm a regular here. I passed several doorways until I came upon room 117. Patient: Keegan Laverdiere.
I knocked on the door out of formality but entered as I did. There was only the one man here; My Protector. I had him moved here on the second day of his coma when I acknowledged that an unsustained human body can only last so long without medical aid. I arranged for him to kept alive in this room, and all of his incurred costs covered by my Existential Expense Coverage. By my order and some threats, the doctors here were never to attempt to wake him. So here he sits, wasting away. It hurts me to the core to see him hooked up to life support, growing thinner and frail from lack of movement and sustenance. Nonetheless, I visited every day as long as it was possible, and fell into depression the days I couldn't make it.
"Hey," I greeted. Of course, there was no response.
I shut the door and noted the flowers I brought several days ago were beginning to droop. Still, I assumed my usual position, kneeling beside his bed and wrapping my hands around his right hand.
"Bonjour Keegan...I miss you, but I think you already know that."
The husk of my Protector took another regular breath. No change. The same as always.
"Lori came and visited me today. She's worried. You would be worried to. I'm still at the gym, but...I haven't told you that I've started weapon training again. Before you get upset, know that I'm trying to get better so I don't kill anything, just like I promised."
I paused out of habit.
"Lori and the Board are worried. I haven't been talking to people. I guess that includes Sharon too. *Cuss* it, this would be easier if you were here." I swallowed some emotion down. "I'm sorry, you're right. No cussing. So yeah, I haven't been talking to people. And...I haven't really done much outside of the gym and the lab. You already know that because of what I've told you, but I guess other people are starting to notice. Um...what else? I finished the cure. I'm just wondering how to give it out and stuff...by the way, Lori wants me to move on. She wants me to let go, but...I can't."
I looked around the room. Nothing has changed. No matter how much I talk, nothing changes. It doesn't work. My emotions pulsed again, so I buried my face in Keegan's frail hand and my own hands.
"Please say something Keegan. I'll do anything for you now. I need you here." The beginnings of tears began to form. "I miss you Keegan. There, I said it again. But you can't hear me. You're not coming back are you? It doesn't matter because I'm sitting in a room, talking to a corpse that's not dead that can't hear me and!..."
I sat up and looked out the window. I wanted to throw something to vent my anger, but I was currently holding Keegan's hand. I can't throw that. A tear fell, so I used his hand to wipe my tears, just like he would in real life.
"I miss you so, so much," I admitted with a shaky breath. "Every day you're missing feels like I'm not alive. Why did you give me all these feelings if they just hurt so much?"
When I finally opened my eyes, I imagined Keegan's face had the slightest hint of a smirk. I knew nothing had changed, but it was nice to imagine. "Keegan...I'm about to go do something that you will probably think is stupid, so I swear, now more than ever would be a really good time to wake up and stop me. It’s going to be awhile before you hear my voice again. I can't take you with me....please wake up."
Nothing.
I took a sad breath in through my nose. Just like I do at the end of every visit, I leaned down and barely kissed my Protector. At one time this was hard, but now I'm getting used to it. "I love you Keegan. I'll see you when I get back."
I let go of his hand and rose. Before I left, I stopped and took one last, long gaze to lock him in my memories. Finally, I left the med for last time before I enacted my plan. It won't be long now...
* * *
Waiting outside of Lori's place was brutal. Even though it was warmer than yesterday, the winter wind cut through me like a sword. I buried myself into my coats and hid as much skin as I could. The only thing left exposed was my face, but even then it felt like too much for the weather to take advantage of. I pulled my hood closer as if that would help. When is Lori going to get back? What does she do on Wednesdays again? I feel like at one time she said something about tennis. Or was that Elly? I can't remember, the cold is inhibiting me.
The crunching of the fine layer of snow had me perk up, but a stranger passed by unaware of me. Ugh...I should have called Lori. Maybe I can break into her apartment? At least it will be warm in there. However, that probably wouldn't help my cause at all.
I can't stand it anymore. I dared to remove one of my boots and a sock then turned to the nearest flammable object and ignited it with a touch of my foot. Now I have the warmth of a fire at the cost of a small scar above the top of my foot and a hole in my first sock. I slipped my second sock and boot back on and cuddled by the fire. Eventually the crunch of footsteps perked me up again. Lori was returning to her home, and not a moment too soon. The fire was already dying.
"What are you doing by my door?" She asked assertively when she noticed someone. She seemed defensive.
"Hi Lori. I need to talk."
"Erin?" She asked, her face shifting to that of confusion. "What are you doing? It's freezing!"
"I am completely aware of that. Please let's go inside before I die out here," I stated, shivering.
As we moved into Lori's simple home, I shook my hoods off to soak in the warmth. It's not the best climate in here, but it's warmer than outside.
"This is a rough neighborhood. Didn't I pay you enough to get a better place?"
"Yes, but I have a history here so..." She replied while peeling her coat off. I didn't dare take any of my clothing off.
"That fire outside," Lori commented. "Where did you burn yourself for it?"
"You're beginning to figure me out, aren't you?"
"Let me wrap it at least."
"What? No, I'm not letting you touch my feet!"
Lori's shoulders dropped. "You burned your foot? You're going to get infected in this cold..."
"I didn't burn myself so I could ask for help. I just need to talk."
Lori crossed her arms and leaned against the countertop. "What's going on Erin?"
I glanced out towards the door, a habit I have from when I felt like I was being watched. "I'm ready to go back to Lenburg. But I need your help."
"What? You can't."
"I won't be able to gain the Board's favor back anytime soon. And I never told you but...I made a promise to someone that I would cure Lenburg."
Lori narrowed her eyes. "Cure? You're going to cure a city of people?"
"No, nothing like that. I'm going to use this." I produced a vial and set it on the counter near myself. The clear, barely yellow liquid caught my crewman's attention. "It
's a cure. Literally a cure."
"A cure for what?" She asked after a second of examination.
"The powers. Really, that's the problem isn't it? The only thing separating the Decapolis from Lenburg?" I reasoned.
"I guess. Wait, what do I have to do with that?"
"I need you to fix my ship."
Lori stood up straight. "I can't do that! I'll lose my job! I could possibly get convicted!"
"Lori, I need you to help me. If you won't, I'll ask every mechanic in town until I find one who will help."
She gawked in disbelief. "Erin, there's got to be a better way. Bring that stuff to the Board and talk to them!"
I narrowed my eyes and sighed. "Lori, you know how I am. I act without acknowledging consequences. I'm going to Lenburg. Are you coming with me or not?"
She shifted, likely looking for words. "I want to help, but I can't."
"Why?"
"Because I'll get in trouble."
"I can shield you from a lot of that."
"Have you asked anyone else?"
"No. You're the first."
She blinked. "I am?"
"Yeah. Why wouldn't you be?"
She looked around her apartment again. What's keeping her here? I thought she had a certain rebellious nature. Now she's holding back for something.
"Do you trust me?" I asked.
She scratched her head and raised an eyebrow at me, but didn't respond. There. That's why she's holding back; she doesn't trust me. How in the world do I fix that though?
"You can't just do you want though, even if you made a promise," Lori said.
"I promised Keegan." Lori and I stared at each other for a moment. "Lori, he made the drug and then realized it was a mistake. He wants me to fix it. He gave me all the instructions. I have to."
"Because it fills you with purpose?" She asked.
"Yeah...something like that." Silence fell between us again. "He liked you Lori. As a person."
She scratched her head again, but I could tell she was trying to hide a smile. Keegan has a magical effect on people sometimes. She whispered, "Dang it, I'm going to be in so much trouble."
I felt myself smirk with a feeling of victory. "Of course, he likes me more."
Lori chuckled. "That was so obvious, it didn't need saying."
I turned to leave her home. "I need you to repair my ship as soon as possible. I hope to leave in two days."
"Yes captain." It felt good to hear her call me by captain again.
As I traversed the streets of Yales, I wondered if it was too late to reach my other crew members. Lori did take a long time coming back. Still, I figured I'd try Wyatt next. Where in the world would he be though? I know his address, I guess I'll start there.
Traveling to his condo yielded no results. It was dark and empty (though surprisingly fancy) inside. I stood before the front door with a moment of loss. I was hoping this would be quick. On top of that, I think I'm frightening the neighbor man.
In fact, the neighbor man spoke to me. "Are you Erin?"
I faced the man and let me eyes answer.
"What brings you this way? I thought you lived in Taigon or something."
My eyes went lax with sarcasm. "No. I live here."
"Oh right, I understand. So why are you all the way out here?"
I understand? Is this guy high or something? "I'm looking for someone but he's not home."
"That guy? With the things?" He asked, gesturing to his arms.
"Yeah..."
"He always goes to some place Wednesday then to a pub after."
"What pub?"
"I don't know, a place with-"
I stepped up to his face and emphasized, "What pub?..."
Dingo Growler Pub. It wasn't far away really, but everything feels far when it's freezing temperatures. It didn't jump out as anything special, just a food and drink bar. I guess I expected something more grand. What is Wyatt doing here?
Inside was dimly lit with reddish brown capped lamps to keep light from shining upwards. The air was permeated with the smell of greasy food and tinged with the smell of tobacco. It was relatively quiet, the main sounds being music playing in the speaker system and a medium sized cluster of people laughing and bumping their table. Among them, I recognized Wyatt's voice. I moved to approach, but a waitress cut me off.
“Hi, welcome to the Dingo Growler!” the Latin girl announced. “Are you dining alone or, or...or...”
She stuttered when I looked at her. She's afraid of me, isn't she?
“You're Erin De'mus, aren't you?” she asked with perkiness once she snapped out of it.
“Do you know anyone else that looks like me?”
She giggled nervously. “No! Of course not, I mean, you're Erin!”
I felt my face harden. What does she want? A picture? To see my scars? Money?
“Hey can I get a picture? I mean, I totally understand if that makes you uncomfortable.”
Yep. I knew it.
“I only came here to meet someone,” I stated.
“Is that a no?” she inquired, halting her actions to pull her device out for a picture. “I mean, we're completely glass if not. But if you wanted to. Or not. Oh, are you here for the party in the back?”
I sighed. “I think so. I won't be long.”
“Oh no, take your time.”
As I slipped past, I chewed on what Keegan would have me do. I don't really know. His voice...I haven't heard it in a while. But I can take a guess. “By the way, pictures make me uncomfortable.”
“Aw, I'm so sorry,” she commented, adding a strange gesture as if covering her heart. “Sometimes I say stuff without thinking, and I got excited cause you're super cool.”
I paused. “What? Why am I...cool?”
“Cause you had so much bad stuff happen and here you are helping the Decapolis. It's like woman power! I would have given up and died, or been super lonely or something.”
“I already tried that. It didn't work,” I stated, turning to look for Wyatt again.
“Oh...I'm sorry, I said something wrong again didn't I?” She ran her hand through her hair nervously. How is it possible that someone can be this innocent, even to the point of being naive? Maybe this is what people describe as a “sweet” girl.
Without casting a death glare, I let out a quick “hm.”
I left the girl to wallow in embarrassment of her own creation to go find Wyatt. He better still be here. This place isn't so big. He's probably just around the bar. Sure enough, he was sitting there with the group in the back, laughing and telling stories. I’m surprised I didn’t hear him earlier, he was the loudest one here.
“He wasn't moving at all, just laying there in the puddle like Wham! So we go over there to roll him over because we think he's dead, right? So we get there and he sits up and looks around, and then he goes ‘Aw dang, I missed didn't I?’” Wyatt stopped at the punch line to slap the table and laugh and two of his friends tried to stifle laughing, but the rest fell silent.
Wyatt simmered down at the apparent lack of reaction. “What? Not what you were expecting?”
“Done storytelling?” I asked.
He jumped to standing position and brushed himself off as if he were dirty. “Erin! What-what, what are you doing here?”
“That's captain to you.”
“Dude! You didn't tell me you worked for THE Erin!” one of his friends whispered.
“Oh really?” I affirmed.
“So what brings you here?” He inquired, now trying to act cool.
“I was going to call you back for a job, but you seem to be having-”
“Really?” Wyatt interrupted. “Where? When do we leave?”
A pause came in the conversation when I took a moment to note if he was serious or not. He seems to mean what he said. One of his friends cleared his throat to release some of his anxiety. I'm a terrible presence…
“You're ready to leave? Just like that?” I asked.
Wyatt nodded. One
of the extras made a comment about his sanity.
“To...Lenburg?”
“Heck yeah! I've been waiting for this!”
I glanced over at his group, who bore faces of bewilderment and discomfort. Then I peeked back at Wyatt, reflexively glaring at him. “Very well. Meet me at my dead ship in two days.”
“What time?”
“Whenever you feel compelled,” I uttered as I took my leave. No further comments followed, but his friends fell to whispering amongst themselves and to Wyatt. The girl profusely apologized yet again on the way out, but Keegan would have me stay positive or something, so I tried my best to do so, but my heart wasn't very set on it. After I left, I pondered about the impression I left on that girl.
Of all my crew, Reggie was the easiest to find. He is at his apartment, but that girl he is always with is there. I feel like it's going to make conversation strained. I swallowed my doubt and rang the bell. Seconds later, Reggie opened up.
“Oh, hey Captain,” He greeted with some surprise.
“Hi. It's really cold, can we talk inside? I won't be long,” I requested while shivering.
Reggie looked back with a face of exaggerated concern. “Um...that's probably not a good idea. She doesn't like the idea of you too much,” He said, pointing with his thumb to the person deeper in the home.
My soul groaned. I hate being cold. “Fine, let's make this quick. I've already talked to Lori and Wyatt, we're headed back to Lenburg in two days.”
“Whoa, what?” Reggie stepped outside and shut the door behind him. “You got clearance from the Board?”
“No, I can't wait on them. Action needs-”
“So you're just leaving everyone? That's a bad idea.”
I bit my tongue once my irritation rose. “What is it with people interrupting me?”
Reggie crossed his arms. “Sorry.”
“I need you to meet me by my ship in two days. We're mounting up to leave.”
“For what reason?”
I blinked, sorting out what he meant. “Why else? We're going to fix Lenburg. I developed a cure for the powers they have. It should restore them to normal.”
“Should?” Reggie asked, expressing some doubt. “No wait, is this intended to be a combat situation?”