by Susan Hayes
“No, you can’t. That’s one of the things we need to talk about.” He ran a hand through his hair, frustration pouring off of him in waves.
“What do you mean, I can’t come back?”
“We’re not supposed to be in this part of the galaxy at all. And there are rules against making contact with races before they’ve reached certain milestones. Your race isn’t ready. We’re here in secret to save our race from extinction. In doing so, we might be saving humans, too. You’re a primitive, destructive species, and it’s more than likely you’ll destroy yourselves before long.”
“Primitive? You think I’m primitive?” She took a step back as his words slashed a hole in her heart. She knew better than to fall for someone fast. It was a sure fire way to get hurt, but it hadn’t stopped her from starting to care about him. Had she made a terrible mistake?
“I think you’re an amazing, gifted female who happens to be from a primitive race. But you are also Pyrosian. Your eyes and our bond prove that. That bond is a two-edged sword, though. If something happens to you, the consequences are significant. I have to make sure you’re protected at all times so that I never have to face that. I intend to give you everything you could ever want and keep you in the greatest luxury imaginable, but it will be somewhere I know that you’ll be safe.”
She could hear a whisper of pain threaded through his words, but she was too furious to pay it any heed. She didn’t want to. Not after what he’d said. “I’m a person, not a possession. You can’t lock me away and expect me to be grateful. I won’t live my life that way.”
Vadir’s eyes were hooded and his brow furrowed into deep lines. “You don’t have any choice, tani. We’re mated. Connected. You said it yourself, this is your destiny. The deal is done, you can’t renege now. I promise I will take care of you and give you everything you wish.”
“What if I wish to be able to return to Earth? Or explore Pyros, or travel with you to other planets? Then what happens to your promises? What if I don’t stay in this gilded cage you’ve offered me and I go out exploring on my own because you left me alone?”
“Then I will find you and bring you home again,” he said, his words clipped and his tone flat and cold.
All the hope and joy she had found in the last few days faded away to despair and heartache. Her father had talked that way. Treating Lisa and her mother like possessions to be jealously protected and confined. His conviction that he owned them had driven him to violence over and over again. Until finally her mother had taken Lisa and fled. There was no way she would ever make the mistake her mother had. She would not stay with a man who saw her as a possession.
“Earth is my home. Until you understand that, we don’t have anything more to discuss.” She turned her back on him and walked away. His thoughts started to pour into her head, but she shut them out, visualizing a wall so thick and tall that nothing could get through it. She didn’t want to know what he was thinking right now, and she didn’t want him to catch even a glimmer of what she intended to do next.
That didn’t go as planned. Vadir had miscalculated. His head said he needed time to rethink his plan and come up with a new offer, but his heart wanted to go after Lisa and do his best to fix the pain that had flashed in her beautiful eyes as she turned from him. He tried to read her thoughts, or at least get a sense of her emotions, but he couldn’t get anything. It was as if she’d sealed herself off. He didn’t like the way it felt.
He stayed where he was, watching in silence as she walked back to the lift and vanished through the doors without looking back even once. He knew this move. She’d walked away from the bargaining table, and it was up to him to find a reason for her to come back.
Negotiating tactics were something he could understand. The deal was in freefall, and it was his fault. He’d failed to explain things to her clearly, to make her understand why he needed her safe.
Since meeting Lisa, he had finally started to understand why his father had succumbed to the Fading and followed his mate into the afterlife. The Scorching was more powerful than he had imagined, and the newly formed bond he had to Lisa was already changing his life in a hundred different ways.
He had come to Earth because he’d been ordered to. He hadn’t been prepared for any of this. Not the bonding, or the desire, or the need to protect the woman who had become the centre of his world in a matter of days. When they had children, he would do better for them than his father had done for him. They would never have to face the pain of growing up without their mother. He’d see to it.
All he had to do now was to find the right leverage and finalize things with Lisa. His research had led him to believe that offering her riches would have been enough. Obviously, that wasn’t the case. Worse, he was running out of time. Communications would be back up soon, and once a few more parts were delivered from the mother ship in orbit, they’d be leaving. He needed to have Lisa’s agreement to come with him to Pyros before that happened.
Whatever it took, he’d give it to her.
He was still no closer to figuring things out when Cas interrupted his train of thought.
“Our passenger has disembarked. Will she not be returning to the Firebrand with us for the journey back to Pyros?”
“What? What do you mean she disembarked? I gave you orders not to let her off the ship!”
He dropped the calibrator he’d been working with and scrambled to his feet. His mate had left him. He’d never heard of such a thing. It didn’t make any sense. Everyone knew Pyrosians mated for life. Where did she think she could go?
“You also ordered me to allow her free run of the ship and access to all doorways. Did you not intend for that command to include the exits?”
“No, I did not! Are you tracking her right now? Where did she go, Cas?”
“My external sensors indicate she is moving down the mountain we crashed on. At her current rate of descent, she will not reach the bottom before nightfall. I am concerned she may be in danger from the local wildlife. I have detected large predatory carnivores in the area.”
“Flames and fury, what is she thinking?” He bolted out of the engine room and made for the airlock on this deck, bouncing off the walls of the narrow passageway more than once along the way.
“I believe she is thinking she is done with arrogant aliens, busted ships, and controlling, possessive assholes. At least, that is what she muttered prior to her departure.”
“Not helpful, Cas. When we get back home, remind me to look into giving you an empathy subroutine.”
“That might be wise. Perhaps a relationship counselling program might also be—“
“Shut up, Cas.”
Fear and anger churned in a bitter stew in his stomach as he activated the outer doors and leapt to the ground. They’d crashed into a stretch of grassy meadow, which was the only reason either of them was still breathing. If Cas hadn’t managed to restart the engines at the last minute and make a desperate course correction, they’d have hurtled into the thick woods that surrounded them. The impact would have torn the ship, and them, to pieces.
He spotted a flash of bright blue at the bottom end of the meadow and started to run towards it. He knew instinctively it was her, though the colour confirmed it. That was the shirt he’d left out for Lisa this morning. Shirts and a pair of thick socks were the only things he’d left for her because it was all he had that fit. She wasn’t dressed for a walk in a cultivated park, never mind a hike through the wilderness.
“Lisa!” He bellowed her name as he pounded through the blend of tall grass and wildflowers, sending petals and seeds flying in all directions.
She turned to look at him, and he stumbled when her voice rang inside his head at full volume. “Leave me alone!”
“Never.”
He didn’t know if she’d get the message or not, so he called out to her as well. “We’re bound together for life. I couldn’t leave you alone if I tried.”
Her bitter laugh floated to him on the breeze
. “Try anyway.”
There was so much pain, and anger tangled up with her thoughts, it made his heart ache. As much as he wanted to run to her, he recognized that wasn’t the right thing to do. When he was still fifteen meters away, he slowed to a walk, then came to a stop when they were near enough to talk without having to yell.
She stood and watched his approach, every part of her tensed and ready to bolt despite the fact she was wearing nothing but his shirt. Her hair was bound back in a tight braid, and her glowing eyes were full of wary distrust.
“I don’t want to try and leave you. I want to try and understand why you left,” he told her.
She snorted with derision. “It shouldn’t be that hard to figure out. How would you feel if someone came to you, made you feel special, and then told you that you were now their possession with no rights and no say in your own life?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“Yes, you did. You couched it in pretty words, but it all means the same thing. You’re just like my dad. You think people are things to be owned and controlled. You tried to negotiate a deal with me. You tried to offer me trinkets in exchange for giving up my freedom, my friends, and my life.”
“I am not like your father. He murdered your mother, correct? I don’t wish to hurt you, Lisa. I want to protect you.”
“No, you want to control me. That makes you very much like him. You even threatened to hunt me down and bring me back if I left you.”
“I don’t want to control you. I…” He gave a frustrated snarl and threw his hands out as the truth exploded out of him. “I don’t know what I want. I never expected to find my mate, and now here you are. Vulnerable. Beautiful. You hold my heart, and my life, in your hands and you don’t even know it, yet.”
“What are you talking about? I slugged you once and crashed your damned ship. How vulnerable can I be?”
He didn’t want to talk about this. Didn’t want to revisit the dark memories he kept so carefully buried, but it was the only way she would understand why he needed to protect her. Reluctantly, he sank down into the sweet-smelling grass and gestured for her to join him.
“You’ve told me about your parents. I think it’s time I told you about mine.”
8
Walking away wasn’t a good plan. She’d known that when she’d set out, but she needed to put some distance between her and Vadir. Two days of being confined to the ship hadn’t helped with her mood, either. She needed to breathe fresh air and feel the sun on her face. Or rain. At this point, she’d go for a walk in a thunderstorm and risk being struck by lightning rather than stay put a second longer.
Outside, the weather was idyllic. Only a few puffy white clouds were scattered across the wide expanse of blue sky, and a warm summer breeze waltzed through the tall grass, making the golden heads dance and bob. The ship had crashed near the centre of the meadow, leaving deep furrows in the ground where it had first hit before sliding to a stop some fifty metres later. She’d been able to see the ship at first, but once she walked a few feet away, whatever shielding technology Cas was using kicked in. The next time she’d looked back, the entire vessel had vanished.
Neat trick, and it certainly explained why no one had noticed them.
She had barely started thinking things through when Vadir’s shout shattered the peace, and now she was face to face with him again, still hurting and raw from what he’d said to her. She didn’t want to talk to him, but it was evident from the speed he’d come after her that he wasn’t giving her a choice.
Once he was seated, she did the same, stretching out her bare legs in front of her. “if you really wanted to convince me you weren’t trying to control my every move, you might have considered waiting ten minutes before charging after me, bellowing my name.”
“Cas told me you left the ship and appeared to be heading towards the base of the mountain. I took off after you after I was informed there were large carnivores in the area. What were you going to do if you came across one, throw my socks at them and make a run for it barefoot?”
“I wasn’t going to try and hike out of here on foot. I’m not that crazy. I needed to get outside and think in peace. Not that you let that happen.”
“And the carnivores don’t concern you?”
“Bears and cougars are not likely to attack me in the middle of a meadow. I know better than to get between a bear and her cubs, or their kill. If Cas detected that much wildlife in the area, we must have travelled further than I thought.
“According to Cas, we’re on somewhere on the eastern slope of one of the mountains in the Garibaldi Range. We won’t know our exact coordinates until a few more repairs are completed, but it won’t be long, now.” He sat back and looked around them. “You’re certain we’re safe out here?”
“I’m sure. You don’t spend much time outdoors, do you?”
A shadow darkened his eyes. “I used to. When I was a youngling, we spent a lot of time outside. Hiking. Swimming. Exploring the woodland outside the city where we lived.”
“What happened?” She wasn’t even sure why she asked the question. They had other things to talk about, but something told her this was important.
“My mother died. She drowned while swimming in the lake she’d been visiting every year since before I was born. A storm blew in, and she was too far away from shore to make it back. My dad took a boat out and tried to reach her, but he didn’t make it in time.”
“I’m sorry, Vee. I know what it’s like to lose a parent.”
“That’s the part I need to explain to you, tani. I didn’t lose one parent. I lost them both.” He broke off a long stem of grass and began stripping away the leaves as he spoke. “Among my people, the bond between mates doesn’t end with death. The survivor suffers what we call the Fade. It’s the desire to escape this life and join their beloved in the next world. Just as the bond between mates varies from couple to couple, so does the strength of the Fade. For some, it’s little more than a whisper. For others, it’s a pull too powerful to resist.”
Lisa’s heart twisted in her chest. “Your father? He Faded?”
Vadir lifted his head, and she could see the answer to her question in his eyes. They were haunted and full of grief. “He died less than a year after her death. I never understood how he could do that to me. Not until you came along.”
“Don’t tell me you’d die for me, Vadir. You don’t know me well enough to even think along those lines. We’re almost strangers. A few days of mind melting sex doesn’t mean we’re in love with each other.”
He shook his head and tossed the mangled grass aside. “We’re so much more than that. You’re my mate, Lisa. My true match. The only woman in the world I will ever desire. The Scorching is more than a mating fever. It’s the moment when two souls are forged together. It’s been two days, and you can already read my thoughts. Imagine what this will be like in a month, or a year. If something happens to you, I’ll make the same choice my father did.”
“You don’t get to put that on me, Vadir. We’re all responsible for our own actions. You came here. You contacted me. You caused all of this. Now you have to own it.”
He started to argue, but then the fire went out of his eyes, and he dropped his hands to his sides. “I don’t know how to do this.”
It was probably the only thing he could have said that wouldn’t push her further away. “You don’t know how to do what?”
“Trust other people. I stopped doing that a long time ago.”
She remembered how that felt. She learned from her mother that it was best not to trust anyone else, and easier to rely on only what she could do for herself. That way, no one could disappoint or betray you. Gwen was the first person, beside her mom, that Lisa learned she could rely on. Later, Maggie had proven herself, too. Without them, Lisa knew her life would be very different, and a lot lonelier.
“If we have any chance of making this work, you’re going to have to trust me. You can’t control my life or my choices.�
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“But I need—“
She cut him off. “You need. You want. Your life. Do you see the pattern here? This isn’t a negotiation at all. You’re dictating the terms of my prison sentence, and expecting me to agree.” She glared at him and huffed in frustration. “And now you have me talking like this was a business deal and not a relationship.”
“Deals are simple. You negotiate for what you want, sign a contract, and live up to your promises. You, are not simple, Lisa Woods. You’re complicated and messy.”
She laughed. “You forgot sexy and wildly unpredictable. And I’d like to point out that for the last two days you’ve been just as hedonistic and crazy as I have. Not to mention the fact you literally set our bed on fire.”
He broke off another piece of grass and stared at it until it smoked, then burst into flame. He let it burn almost to his fingers before banishing the flame with a wave of his hand. “That was the Scorching. Normally I have more control than that.”
“Control is your problem, Vee. Sometimes, you have to let go. Honestly, I think you’ve got more fire in you than you want to admit. You’ve held yourself in check for so long, you’ve forgotten who you were.”
A crazy, terrifyingly bad idea struck her. “I want to know what it feels like when you burn. I want to know who you are behind the walls and rules and buttoned up suits.” She drew up her legs so that she was sitting cross-legged, then beckoned him over. “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.”
Puzzled, he rose to his feet and came to where she sat, taking her hand before sitting down so that he was facing her. “What do you want to show me, tani?”
“The truth. Mine and yours. I’m not sure how to do this, but I’m going to try and drop the walls and let you into my head. The Gods put us together and gave us this ability, right? So, we should probably use it.”