Winter Is Past

Home > Other > Winter Is Past > Page 6
Winter Is Past Page 6

by Ruth Axtell Morren


  “It was difficult for me to leave the children.” She smoothed the coverlet under her hand. “I love them and I know they still need me.” She smiled at Rebecca’s serious expression. “I could never have left them if I didn’t know so certainly that the Lord wanted me to come here for a while, to be with you as long as you need me.”

  After a little consideration, Rebecca replied, “I’m sorry you had to leave the children, but I’m glad you’re here.”

  “I’m glad I’m here, too. Why don’t you help me find another piece in this puzzle? Look, I think this piece goes here.” Althea handed the girl a piece and indicated the area where she’d been working. Rebecca tried the piece and after a few attempts, got it in.

  “It’s part of the lion’s head!” The emerging scene showed a train of jungle animals marching through a forest of palm trees and other foreign-looking vegetation. After her initial excitement, Rebecca lost interest in the puzzle again.

  “Have you always lived at this mission?”

  Althea glanced at Rebecca, unsurprised at her continued questioning. She’d become accustomed to it in the time she’d spent with the girl and was beginning to understand that her active mind more than made up for the inactivity of her body.

  “No, I’ve only lived there, let’s see, almost six years.”

  “Where did you live before?”

  “I grew up in a big house surrounded by lots of parks and forests,” she said with a smile, picturing the estate in Hertfordshire.

  “Is that where you helped Cook with the tarts?”

  “Yes,” she said, her smile deepening. “I think I spent more time in the kitchen than with the family. Except in summer, when I was outside every chance I got.”

  “Didn’t you have a mama, either?”

  Althea glanced at Rebecca, surprised by her perception. “No, my mama died, too, when I was very young. I was probably about the same age as you,” she added, “just a babe, when I lost her. So, I don’t remember her at all.”

  “I don’t remember my mama, either. Who took care of you if you had no mama?”

  “A nice lady and gentleman. They became my guardians. They were very good to me.”

  Rebecca considered for a moment. “Did they become your brother’s guardians, too?”

  Althea looked down at her hands, considering how to reply. “No. They were his real parents. I—I just came to consider him as my brother, since we grew up together.” Better that than get into the complicated truth of the actual relationship. “I had another brother, too, but he just recently passed away.”

  “That’s too bad,” the girl said softly. “It must be nice to have brothers. I have lots of cousins but no brothers. Mama died too soon.”

  Althea was silent.

  Rebecca soon brightened again as a new thought occurred to her. “Did this brother know my abba, too?”

  Althea smiled. “I daresay not. I believe your papa and Tertius—that is, the younger of my brothers—were only together in school. I don’t remember your papa ever visiting us over holiday.” Now she wondered whether that had had anything to do with Simon’s being Jewish.

  Tertius had never spoken of Simon. Althea had not realized what close friends they were until Tertius had pleaded on his friend’s behalf for his daughter.

  She gave Rebecca’s hand a squeeze, acknowledging how close she had come to turning down his appeal. “The important thing is that the Lord had us meet now.”

  That evening Simon glanced from his sleeping daughter’s bed to the sitting room door. Seeing the light shining through the door Miss Breton always left ajar, he approached it and tapped softly.

  Hearing her bid him enter, Simon pushed open the door. He found her sitting by the fire, reading by lamplight. “Good evening, Miss Breton. I don’t wish to disturb you. I just wanted to ask you how Rebecca was today. I didn’t have a chance to see her before I went to the House.”

  She marked her place in the black, leather-bound Bible. “Rebecca was fine.” She smiled, adding, “She became quite animated when she found out about the dinner party. I had to describe all the dishes to be served and go over the guest list with her.”

  Simon smiled, feeling refreshed by her smile. “May I come in?”

  “Certainly.” She stood, but he waved her back. “Please, stay put. I shall only linger a moment.” He sat in a chair before the fire and sighed, feeling ragged after hours of debate. “How are things coming with the arrangements?” he asked perfunctorily, not really interested at that moment in preparations for a dinner party. He wondered if he’d been mad to even contemplate such a thing. “Have you and Mrs. Coates had a chance to sit down together?”

  She fingered the edges of the book in her lap. “Yes, we did. I think Mrs. Coates and Cook have things well under control. I believe all the replies have been received. There should be thirteen in attendance aside from yourself.”

  He was thankful he’d put her in charge; maybe it wouldn’t be a complete fiasco. Why was it, when he could wield power from his bench in the House, he felt absolute terror at the thought of hosting those same men and their wives in his home for an evening?

  Althea spoke again. “That is a good number for a dinner party, particularly if one hasn’t entertained in a while. It is better to start small.”

  “Is that a small number?” he asked, doubts assailing him.

  “No, not all. It is a good number, as I said, neither too small nor too large a party, so that you will be able to give your attention to each one of your guests.” She added, “Mrs. Coates has drawn up the seating arrangements. She will be seeing you about one or two names that remain in question as to rank.” She hesitated. “There is only one problem, as I see it.”

  He looked inquiringly at her, wondering what else he must worry about.

  “The gentlemen outnumber the women. We are lacking two females to make the numbers even.”

  “Is that an unforgivable social blunder? I confess to having more male acquaintances than female. It comes from working in Parliament and not having had much time up to now to mingle in society.”

  She nodded. “That is understandable. There is one other thing. You had expressed to Mrs. Coates the desire to have Lady Stanton-Lewis seated at your right. Since the Duke and Duchess of Belmont have sent their acceptance, I felt obliged to give them prominence. We placed Lord and Lady Stanton-Lewis just below them. Does that meet with your approval?”

  He waved a hand, his mind wearied with questions of social etiquette. It had been a momentary whim to ask to be seated beside Lady Eugenia. Now he couldn’t care less. “Do whatever you deem appropriate. You are the expert on these matters.” Realizing Althea was really doing him an enormous favor in undertaking this responsibility, he tried to show some interest in the topic. “Will I be in disgrace for the uneven numbers?”

  “Only with the very proper hostesses.”

  He looked at her more closely, noting the humor in her eyes. He’d never shared a moment of humor with her. “Since I am probably not acquainted with them, I suppose I shall survive.”

  “And give many more dinner parties,” she quipped.

  He gave her a crooked smile, running a hand through his hair. “If my first proves not to be an unmitigated disaster.”

  “Oh, I’m certain it shan’t be.”

  Her tone was oddly comforting. Simon stretched out his legs before the fire, thinking of his earlier meeting with the chief whip. “I don’t know,” he began. “If my standing with my colleagues is any indication, I’ll be lucky if anyone shows up.” After Simon’s speech on the Corn Laws, the chief whip had taken him aside and given him a thorough dressing down, with warnings that came down directly from Liverpool himself, he intimated. If Simon didn’t toe the party line, he might find himself back in the upper tier. He had succeeded in his party because of his gift for oratory, but if he used it against his own party, he could forget about a junior lordship.

  Simon sat in silence, gazing at the fire, contemplating thi
s dilemma.

  As if reading his thoughts, Miss Breton’s soft voice penetrated his hearing at last. “How…how are things in the House?”

  He sighed deeply, giving her his attention once again. “Much debate and little real action. The Tories don’t want things to change.”

  “But you…are you not a member of the Tory party yourself?”

  “Oh, yes. The party in power,” he added with irony. “It doesn’t mean I agree with everything they stand for. I’m beginning to think I disagree with more and more each day.” He removed his spectacles and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Words, words and more words. I used to enjoy them. Now it seems as if all we do is bicker and call each other names. We’re worse than a bunch of schoolboys at times. In the meantime, there are more men out of work each day, widows and children are going hungry, and those with work are rioting.”

  “Yes, it does seem things have grown worse since the end of the war,” she agreed. “We all looked forward to peace with France, but since then, there are so many discharged soldiers and sailors. We see so many idle men around the mission, with nothing to do but drink.”

  He looked at her in surprise, not having expected to be able to discuss these things with a woman, much less his daughter’s nurse. Yet, because of her work at the mission, he realized, she was probably the one who would best understand.

  A whimper from the other room caused them both to turn. Miss Breton immediately arose, with Simon close behind her. She pushed aside the bed curtains and knelt by Rebecca’s pillow, feeling her forehead. It was hot.

  “Althy…” moaned the girl, her head turning from side to side, her eyes still closed. “Oh, Althy, my head hurts so. My whole body hurts….”

  “There, there,” she answered in soothing tones, smoothing the hair off her forehead. “Your papa’s here.”

  Rebecca opened her eyes. “Abba, you came home.”

  “Yes, dear.” Simon sat on the edge of the bed as Althea moved to the night table to measure out a dose of laudanum. Simon continued speaking in soft tones, stroking his daughter’s forehead as Althea had done, while she administered the medicine. The two of them stayed there until Rebecca finally fell asleep.

  When they returned to the sitting room, too restless to sit again, Simon leaned against the back of his chair, his forearms against it, vaguely aware of Althea adding coal to the fire. The new chunks sizzled as they touched the red-hot ones beneath. He stood, staring at the glowing coals but not really seeing them.

  Abruptly he looked at her as she brushed off her hands. “How often do you have to give her the laudanum?”

  She met his dark gaze as she bit her underlip. At last she answered him softly, “Almost every night.”

  At least she was honest with him. He grimaced. “It’s funny—since you came I’ve been sleeping through the nights, but it’s not because my daughter has been getting any better. She merely has a better nurse.”

  Althea looked down at her hands.

  “I would like to apologize for doubting your abilities, Miss Breton.”

  She raised her head. “No apology is necessary. I only wish I could do more….” Her eyes had an appeal in them.

  “You’ve made Rebecca happy. That’s all I can hope for.”

  She continued looking at him, and he waited, wondering if there was something else she had to tell him about Rebecca. He was right.

  “Your daughter needs something else to make her happy.”

  “Name it, and I shall do all in my power to obtain it.”

  “It doesn’t cost anything.” She smoothed her skirt. “Your daughter needs to know about God.” She clasped her small hands in front of her, her gaze resolute.

  He just stared at her, not expecting that reply. A short, humorless laugh erupted from him as he rubbed his forehead with a hand. “Well, I have to admit, that is something I can’t give her.”

  They fell silent. After a while, Althea said, “I would like your permission to read some Bible stories to Rebecca. I gather from my conversations with her that she receives no religious training, neither Jewish nor Christian. If you’d rather, I would just read to her from the Old Testament—”

  He waved a hand, almost in relief at having this topic so easily solved. “Old, new, Tanakh, HaBrit Hachadashah—you have my permission to read her what you like. I was exposed to both as a lad, and you can see what little harm—or good—they did me.”

  “Thank you” was all she answered.

  She seemed satisfied and resumed her seat. Simon didn’t leave, but began to walk slowly about the room, one hand covering the other in a fist. He almost envied Miss Breton her faith. She had a cause she’d be willing to lose her job over, he’d wager. How clear and simple things must be for her.

  He thought about her tenderness with his daughter just now in the other room. He wished he could do something for her to express his real gratitude. He finally stopped before her chair.

  “I have been meaning to thank you for what you have done for Rebecca. She truly seems happier since you’ve been here.”

  She looked up at him with a smile, and he suddenly saw the resemblance to her brother. They both had a sort of radiance.

  “It is I who should be thanking you for giving me the opportunity to come here,” she said.

  Simon didn’t reply right away but stood, considering her. On impulse he said, “I would like you to attend the dinner party next week.”

  She opened her mouth in stupefaction. “Oh, no, sir! That is not at all necessary.”

  “I know it isn’t. Still, I would like you in attendance.”

  “Please, sir, I…I would rather not….”

  He peered at her more closely, not understanding her reaction. Fool that he was, he had thought she’d be pleased, even flattered. Why hadn’t he recalled her own admission of her opinion of Jews? Annoyed at both himself and her, he said, “I don’t want to argue with you about this, but I really must insist that you attend. You are Lord Skylar’s sister, for goodness’ sake. Yes, I know, I know, his half sister.

  “Furthermore, you are a lady in your own right, whether you choose to go by a title or not. I cannot have you not attend. I couldn’t face your brother ever again, for one thing, nor my own conscience, for that matter.”

  Panic was visible in her eyes. “Mr. Aguilar, please don’t concern yourself with appearances. My brother will understand if I decline to attend a dinner party. He knows perfectly well why I am here in your employ. He would never expect you to—”

  Simon waved his hand impatiently. “I didn’t mean that the way it sounded! If I cared about appearances I would never have hired you in the first place.” His tone softened, sensing her aversion had nothing to do with him, but with some kind of fear on her part. “I merely thought perhaps you would enjoy an evening in polite society. You spend all your time in a little girl’s company. As much as I love my daughter, I know it must be draining to be in a sick child’s company twenty-four hours a day.”

  Her voice was perfectly composed. “Thank you for your consideration, but believe me, it is completely unnecessary. I am perfectly content to sit here.”

  He gave her an amused look, determined to get to the bottom of her refusal. “Do you always decline any and all overtures into society? Is that part of the reason you shut yourself away in the East End?” He narrowed his eyes at her. “I know what you are—you are a reverse snob, are you not, running away from your own class?” He saw the dismay in her gray eyes and knew he had touched a nerve. “What are you afraid of? Possible contamination with sinners? You can’t expect me to believe you prefer to sit here alone night after night, hiding behind that gray governess garb. Is that the prescribed color of the Methodists, by the way? Is it the badge that proclaims them sin-free?”

  She stared at him, her cheeks pink, her lips pressed together.

  So there was a weakness there somewhere in her religious armor, thought Simon in satisfaction. She didn’t realize he was a master at finding a person’s v
ulnerability and exploiting it. He’d had to do so to survive. This time, however, he felt no satisfaction. Instead, her discomfort touched something in him. Suddenly he felt protective of her.

  He pulled at his cravat, uncomfortable with the notion. All he’d wanted to do was repay her in some way. He’d ended up delving into something deeper that common sense told him was better left buried.

  “If you can’t bring yourself to join the company for your amusement, you can always come to make yourself useful, pouring tea or something,” he ended in annoyance. “Think of it as helping me out. After all, you yourself said I needed a pair of ladies to even up the numbers.”

  She said quietly, “Very well, I shall come to serve.”

  He let out a breath and rubbed his temples. “Miss Breton, you try my patience.”

  “I beg your pardon, sir. I thought that’s what you wanted. I shall attend your dinner party. Was there something else you required?”

  He met her guileless gray eyes, and his frustration dissipated. He said gently, “I didn’t mean my invitation to sound like an order. Let me restate it. Please honor me with your presence. You have done so much for Rebecca already. I wished to express my gratitude to you in some small way, that is all.”

  Once again her face flooded with color, although this time not in anger. She seemed embarrassed. “You needn’t feel obligated—I have done nothing extraordinary—”

  “Please, Miss Breton, will you honor me with your presence—of your own free will?” The last words were said a bit awkwardly, as he was unused to entreating people. Then he smiled, wanting to tell her not to be afraid, he had faced a lot worse situations than a simple dinner party.

  He could see the struggle in her features. Finally, she gave a small nod and looked away.

  “Very well.”

  After he left, Althea stood by the fire thinking about what her employer had said. Simon’s words had hit their mark, although he probably didn’t realize just how accurately. Did she indeed hide behind her simple gray dresses and pious acts? Why did she feel physically sick at the mere thought of reentering the world she had known all her life? Why was she so afraid of it? She knew it no longer had any power over her. She knew the Lord had set her free of its hypocritical standards.

 

‹ Prev