‘Just a feeling!’
‘Well now you mention it, we may have hooked up a couple of times.’
‘I knew it!’
‘How?’
‘Something about the way she is around you…’
‘It’s my fault. I should never have gone there. As soon as I did it, I realised that it was a bad idea – don’t mix work with pleasure and all that…’
‘Well, I can see why that’s a good philosophy. Not great if things go wrong.’ Libby wondered what had happened, but she didn’t want to pursue the conversation further. Not for the first time she considered whether Giulia had warned her off out of jealousy or out of compassion? It was hard to tell.
Luca parked his car on the outskirts of the town and they wandered through the cobbled streets, drinking in the divine panoramic views that had made the town so famous. Libby thought of Wagner, D. H. Lawrence and Virginia Woolf, who had all fallen in love with Ravello. She was amazed at just how much she remembered about Italy from her studies. It was as if the wealth of information she had accumulated over the years had lain dormant and was now welling up inside her, fuelling her love for this magical place more and more.
‘Let’s head to the piazza,’ said Luca. ‘There’s a market on every Tuesday morning, selling local produce.’
‘Ooh yum!’ said Libby, rubbing her hands with glee. ‘Great idea!’
They pottered around the market tasting the local delicacies, laughing at some of the more interesting designer clothes on sale. They had lunch in a small café in the shade of a canopy of bougainvillea, eating risotto and drinking white wine. Luca was a truly entertaining guy and she found herself laughing out loud at the stories he had accumulated from years of working at La Casetta.
‘There was this one German guy who, after too many drinks, decided that he would try and balance on the railings out on the terrace like a tightrope walker.’
‘No!’ gasped Libby. ‘That’s so dangerous – he must have been crazy.’
‘Tell me about it. Maria screamed and as soon as I realised what was happening I ran out to grab him, pulling him towards me to get him down to safety. He landed right on top of me, knocking me over in the process. Thankfully he was safe… The only problem was that he had decided to strip naked beforehand. I ended up with my face wedged into his crotch.’
Libby cupped her hand over her mouth, laughing as she imagined the scene.
‘Let’s just say it was the first and hopefully the last time that I will ever be getting quite so up close and personal with a male customer!’
‘If it had been a female customer you wouldn’t have minded so much, right?’ she teased him.
‘That depends,’ laughed Luca.
After lunch, Luca had to get back in time to start his shift. Libby left him at La Casetta and made her way down to the beach. If she were being honest with herself she felt a bit disappointed that – despite his flirting – he still hadn’t made a move. It had to be all talk and no action, she reasoned. He clearly didn’t fancy her. She told herself off for caring. She found herself thinking about what she should be looking for in a partner. She wished she knew. Chemistry was vital, definitely, but she knew how important it was to have someone kind, dependable, someone who would be good with her family, a great father… It was a lot to ask. Did people really just know when they met the one?
Later that afternoon she tried calling her sister. Still no luck. She decided to phone her mum instead.
‘Hello?’
‘Hi Mum, it’s Lib.’
‘Oh hi, darling. Hang on, let me just come inside. I’m knee-deep in the rose garden doing the dead-heading and the line is terrible on this portable phone.’
Libby waited for her mother to get inside to the kitchen phone. Ever since her father had passed away, ten years ago now, her mum had taken over the care of the rose garden in his memory. It had been his pride and joy. She took it very seriously, and to her credit it was just as splendid as it had ever been under his notoriously green fingers. As ever when Libby thought of her dad she felt the familiar ache of pain deep inside her, just as raw as it had been the day that he died.
‘OK, here I am!’ Her mum’s voice sounded much clearer on the landline.
‘Hi Mum, how are the roses getting on?’
‘Jolly hard work, especially in this heat!’
‘Haven’t you still got Gavin helping with the garden?’
‘Normally I would, but he’s in Tenerife with his girlfriend this week, so I’m trying to keep on top of things myself. It’s good exercise for me anyway – good to get out in the fresh air.’
‘Absolutely.’
At the thought of her beloved dad, Libby blurted out the question that had been running round her mind. ‘This might sound a bit weird, but I’ve been doing some thinking about relationships, wondering what it will be like to finally meet someone and settle down…’
‘Right, darling…’ her mum said curiously.
‘When you met Dad, did you have any doubts in your mind at all that he was the one? How did you know for certain?’
There was a pause as Miriam dragged her mind back to those bittersweet memories. She and Ronald had met at school, but they hadn’t started courting, as she called it, until their twenties.
‘I must say, darling, I don’t think I had a single doubt in my mind. He was the one and that was that. I knew I couldn’t be with anyone else.’
‘I think that’s what I’m going to need, Mum. That certainty. I have never met anyone that has made me feel that way.’ Libby wondered whether she ever would.
‘Well I hope that you meet this elusive Mr Right soon, darling. You are thirty-two! And with Helen in the state she is in, you might be my only chance of being a mother of the bride, or a granny.’ Libby knew that under the jovial tone her mother was deadly serious.
‘Yes I know that, thank you Mother! Only too well! When I have a spare moment from working around the clock in the law firm, I will make sure I squeeze in a few dates, all right?’
‘I’ll do some investigating myself… maybe I can do a little matchmaking with some of my friends. Maureen was telling me just the other day about her lovely son Dominic—’
‘Right, Mum, knock yourself out. No promises though!’ Libby laughed as she hung up the phone. She thought about Helen and her desire to have a baby. She knew she wanted a family of her own one day as well, but there seemed an infinite number of hurdles to get through first. She knew she needed to work on herself, to make sure she was happy and independent and sorted, before she embarked on that kind of journey. For now she just had to focus on sorting out her career. Perhaps when that was in hand a relationship would follow, and then, who knew, maybe she would have a baby of her own. She fell asleep in the shade, daydreaming about Luca.
A while later her dreams were interrupted by the buzzing of her phone. ‘Libby? It’s Helen.’
‘Good to hear from you at long last, stranger.’ Libby smiled at the sound of her sister’s voice. ‘I’ve missed you!’
‘I’ve missed you too. Sorry it’s taken me so long to call,’ Helen said.
‘Don’t worry. I bet you’ve been manic settling in to your new life. How are you? Mum has been worrying – she says she hasn’t spoken to you for ages. How’s it all going?’
‘I feel bad for not calling her, but you know how she drives me nuts with her worrying. I just needed to have a break for a few weeks while I tried to settle in.’
‘I understand. Maybe just send her the odd email, though, just so she knows you are OK.’
‘I will, you’re right…’
‘Where are you staying?’
‘I’m in an apartment provided by the school. It’s tiny and pretty central so it’s easy to get around. It’s perfectly fine.’
‘And have you started work yet?’
‘Yup, I’ve done my first week. It’s OK. Colleagues are all right, kids seem fine.’ Helen was hardly an expert at description.
‘That
all sounds great!’ Libby tried to sound as enthusiastic as possible as they chatted. She was determined to encourage her sister and felt proud of her for being so brave. In return she told Helen all about life in Positano so far, realising just how lucky she was to be there – it all sounded pretty idyllic, she had to admit. As she ended the call, with Helen promising to get in touch soon, a beach-seller came along selling cups of ice-cold lemon sorbet. Libby bought one and relished the refreshing spoonfuls of crushed syrupy ice as she looked out on the sea. It reminded her of the Slush Puppies her dad used to buy them after trips to the local swimming pool: blueberry and cherry. He would laugh as the dye slowly turned Helen and Libby’s lips bright blue and neon pink. She felt overcome with emotion at the memory.
Later that afternoon she wound her way back through the shops, buying a pair of blue espadrilles and some ingredients to cook pasta arrabbiata back in the hostel kitchen. Tonio offered cooking lessons to interested guests, teaching small groups how to cook local specialities. Libby was determined to watch and learn as much as she could; she would sneak into the kitchen during these sessions, keeping an eye on the desk and listening out for the phone whilst scribbling notes. This evening’s meal would be an exact replica of his recipe, and she hoped it tasted as good.
She was remarkably pleased with the results of her culinary efforts. The heat of the chilli was complemented perfectly by shavings of Parmesan cheese. She knew she would never get bored of Italian food.
After dinner she decided to call Jules and Angus on their landline.
‘Hello?’ It was Angus. As soon as she heard his voice, Libby realised that it was Angus she had been hoping to get through to.
‘Angus, it’s Libby.’
‘Libby! What a lovely surprise. Jules is out this evening so you’re stuck with me, I’m afraid.’
‘I was actually hoping to speak to you.’
‘Well I’m flattered. Not that Jules and I compete over the affections of our oldest friend… much!’
‘Ha! I love you both, equally, you know that.’
‘You damn well better. So, what’s up? La dolce vita still going well?’
‘La dolce vita is truly incredible. I’m still determined you must come and see me – the Amalfi coast would be your idea of heaven; so much inspiration for your painting. No it’s not Italy, it’s Helen. I’m worried about her.’
‘Have you spoken to her?’ Angus asked.
‘I spoke to her today. She seemed OK actually. I guess I just feel so sorry for her, and the thought of her all by herself in a foreign country, trying to sort out a life for herself, it makes me anxious.’
‘She’s quite tough you know, Libby. I am sure she will be all right. She just needs time.’
‘But what if she takes a turn for the worse?’
‘It can happen… You just need to be there for her, keep checking in on her.’ Angus’s father had suffered from depression on and off all his life, taking a lot of his frustrations out on his son; as a result they had had a very difficult relationship. As the eldest child, Angus had been the voice of reason, trying to calm any explosions of temper, attempting to mediate between his parents and his siblings. He had spent a long time in his teens and early twenties studying depression, and had always been Libby’s sounding board for any problems that had arisen with Helen.
They talked about her for a while, Libby feeling reassured – as always – by his words of wisdom. ‘I think she just really needs to meet a decent guy…’
‘There’ll be someone out there – for both of you, Libs. Maybe you just need to stop trotting the globe to give them a chance to find you!’
‘I hope so. One day…’ said Libby. ‘When the time comes, I just want what you and Jules have – to marry a best friend who I adore. Something natural and uncomplicated.’
‘You mean me and Jules minus the arguments, I hope!’
‘You and Jules have always argued – you don’t know any other way.’
‘She’s certainly feisty,’ Angus said ruefully.
‘Tell me about it… I honestly don’t know how you cope sometimes.’ Libby laughed as she thought fondly of Jules.
‘Me neither.’
‘Angus!’ He might say that, but Libby knew he loved her best friend just as she did.
Sadly they had been having some of their very worst rows over the last couple of years about having children. Angus was desperate to start a family, whereas Jules seemed to be becoming less and less convinced. It really worried Libby. Such a fundamental disagreement couldn’t be resolved without one or the other of them making an enormous compromise.
‘Have you had any more talks about kids recently?’ Libby dared to ask the question. She could feel Angus tense at the topic. He drew in a long breath and let out a deep sigh.
‘Not since the last one.’
‘Do you think she’ll come round in the end?’
‘I don’t know. She’s just so determined not to disrupt her life. I know she would love it as soon as she actually had a baby; it’s just the thought of it that freaks her out. But there must be loads of women who couldn’t imagine what it would be like to become a mother, but now wouldn’t change a thing.’
‘You’re right. I’m sure she’d be a great mum.’
‘It’s really hard. We got married so young that we didn’t even really talk about it. I just assumed it would happen, and now I really am not so sure.’
‘She’ll come round.’
‘Are you sure?’
‘Yes, she will.’ Libby crossed her fingers and hoped she was right. If there was one characteristic Jules certainly wasn’t lacking, it was stubbornness. And this was such a delicate area that it was hard for Libby to get involved. She so wanted Angus to be happy. To make matters worse, she knew that he would be the most incredible dad.
They chatted for another half an hour or so; it was so great to catch up properly with him. He was working on a new series of oil paintings following a recent trip to the Lake District. Angus was a successful landscape artist and Libby loved his expressive, colourful style, as did the majority of the art world. The value of his work was going up and up year by year. She was so proud of him. What a long way he had come since that first exhibition she had been to of his art GSCE work at school – abstract geometrical prints had been his preferred subject matter at the time. Just as well that had only been a phase, she smiled to herself.
Chapter Five
That Friday night Libby finally had a taste of the local nightlife. A huge group of guests from the hostel decided to hit the local club, Music on the Rocks, after a boozy session in Luca’s bar. Libby spent the night dancing with an American surfer named Bret who had been staying in the hostel that week. It felt so good to let her hair down and lose herself in the music. Luca watched from the side, having joined them after the bar shut for the night, and it felt great to feel the jealousy radiating from him as she moved closer and closer to Bret. She knew it was a bit childish but she couldn’t help it. She wanted Luca to want her. She could tell Bret was seriously into her, but she was enjoying the power-play too much to give in and kiss him. Instead she headed to the bar to order more shots with some Aussie girls who were gathered there. They had danced all night, ending up swimming in various states of undress in the sea.
The next day was spent in a hung-over haze down on the beach, sleeping and swimming, eating and hanging out, while Diego, a Spanish guy who had been at La Casetta for a few days, brought out his guitar and strummed away. Libby sipped on cold beer, her chosen hair of the dog, and listened to the music. It was all so far removed from her normal life; she couldn’t imagine it ever coming to an end. She didn’t want it to.
That evening, Maria was covering Luca in the bar. He had the evening off. Libby saw him heading out through the door and called down to him from the balcony to wait up. She met him on the steps leading down from the hostel.
‘Hey!’
‘Hi.’
‘Are you getting food? Can I j
oin you? What do you fancy? Pizza?’
‘I’m not sure. Yeah probably,’ Luca shrugged.
‘I’m in the mood for a pizza. Let’s go to Marco’s and get one to take away?’
‘OK.’ Luca hardly seemed thrilled at the prospect. He had been off with her all day. She wondered if it was due to her flirtation with Bret – perhaps her tactics had worked? She chattered away to him as they walked down to Marco’s. Placing their orders, they watched as the guy behind the counter loaded up the dough with tomato, mozzarella and pepperoni before shovelling it into the pizza oven. Libby’s mouth watered as the dough rose and the cheese began to bubble, golden brown. Clutching their boxes, they went to sit on the wall overlooking the beach, with an excellent view of what promised to be a glorious sunset.
They sat quietly, eating their pizzas and soaking up the view as the sun sank into the sea. Libby kept up a stream of chatter, but Luca’s responses were fairly monosyllabic. When they had finished eating and the sun had set, they made their way back up towards La Casetta. Luca lagged behind.
Just before they turned the final bend that would lead to the steps and the yellow front door, Libby stopped and turned to face him. Unable to bear the tension any longer she said, ‘So are you going to tell me what’s up?’
Luca stopped. ‘What do you mean?’ His brow was furrowed, his dark eyes looked troubled.
‘Oh come on, Luca! It’s obvious that you are annoyed with me and I want you to tell me why.’
Luca was silent for a few minutes. He gave out a deep sigh. ‘I saw you flirting with Bret last night—’
‘Oh come on. What’s wrong with a bit of harmless flirting?’
‘I know it’s crazy but I can’t help it… It really upset me.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Look Libby, if you are going to make me spell it out for you, then I will. I like you. Not just as a friend, I mean I like you. I really like you.’ He ran his hands through his hair and rubbed his temples. He looked so upset, she realised he must be serious.
Libby’s heart pounded as she realised the implication of what he had just said, feeling overwhelmed at the strength of her reaction to this news. She was ridiculously happy that the crush she had been trying so hard to stifle was in fact reciprocated. But at the same time she realised it was an utterly hopeless case.
One Summer in Positano Page 5