by Jordan, Skye
His gaze landed on a silver band atop a photo. Excitement rushed his system. It was the platinum wedding band he’d given her. The photo beneath was one from their wedding. With his heart in his throat, he picked up the band and slid it onto his little finger, then inspected the photo. A candid showing them both so much younger, so much happier. The paper was worn and soft, as if she’d handled it a thousand times.
He had so much to make up for, it overwhelmed him.
“Better get on with it, then,” he told himself before replacing the photo and the ring.
He pulled on his clothes, noticing a lightness in his heart and energy in his body. She transformed him from a hollow, adrenaline-junkie loner to a loved, purposeful family man.
Dylan drove to the house smiling. He hadn’t been this happy since they’d been together eight years ago. Too much time had passed. He’d wasted too many precious days. Weeks. Years.
When he pulled into the drive, Dylan found the kitchen guy waiting in his truck. Tony was in his early fifties with a mellow demeanor and a warm smile. Dylan walked him through the living area, describing how he hoped to design the kitchen based on the images Emma had added to their Pinterest board for the house.
Tony asked questions, jotted notes, and sketched a floorplan. He pointed to the wall of the breakfast nook. ”Are you making any structural changes here.”
“I hadn’t planned to, why?”
He gave a shrug. “I was just thinking that if you moved that wall out three feet, you could make a big island work in here. It would really open up the space.”
Dylan thought about the photos Emma had pinned on the board, then he went outside, checked the distance between the fence line and the house and the roofline. Tony followed him out.
“You’re right,” he told Tony. “It wouldn’t take much to blow out this wall. I could put in French doors and add a pergola and a patio here.”
Out of nowhere, Dylan’s mind filled with the idea of sitting out here having coffee with Emma while their kids played in the yard. The thought washed warmth and joy through his body in one giant wave. And on a dime, his mind twisted from selling the house to buying it. The loan would still pay off her medical school loans, but then they’d have a house. A house that had always been meant for them from the beginning.
“Yeah.” He nodded. “Yeah, let’s do that.”
Dylan was floating on a cloud as he returned to the house and opened Emma’s iPad. He entered the password and pulled up the Pinterest app. All the images they’d pinned to the board filled the screen. He stepped up beside Tony and enlarged a few of the kitchen photos with big islands.
“I think we can do that,” Tony said. “Let me measure again.”
While Tony pulled out his tape measure and reworked the drawings, Dylan flicked through the images. Now that he was thinking about buying the house instead of selling it, there were so many cool things he could do to make it the perfect home for him and Emma and the family they would have someday.
His doubts from the night before returned, battling with the rightness of the idea that had already sunk deep into his heart.
He desperately wanted this second chance with her and was ready to change his life to prove he was all in, prove that he’d never leave her again. But he also knew he’d have to be careful not to push her too far, too fast. He’d put her through hell, and earning back her trust would take time and patience.
For a moment, he let himself daydream. If he added a taping studio over the garage, he may be able to cut down on his travel. With Emma’s hours as an ER physician, Dylan’s ability to stay flexible would go a long way toward easing the burden when they had kids to juggle.
He was smiling when an email came through, flashing a truncated message in the upper right corner of the tablet. It was from someone named Darla with an email address of Cumberland General Hospital and marked as urgent. Just before the message disappeared, Dylan read the subject line: Somalia/Ethiopia Trip.
Discomfort burned in the pit of his stomach. She’d talked about Honduras, not Somalia or Ethiopia.
“I’m about done.” Tony pulled Dylan’s attention from the iPad. The contractor offered his hand and they shook. “I’ll have drawings and pricing out to you in the next few days.”
“Great. Thank you.” Dylan walked Tony to his car, briefly discussing the budget and materials.
When the contractor was gone, Dylan stood in the driveway, staring down the quiet street, chewing on the inside of his lip. The email was private. He shouldn’t read it. But his intuition was tripping, and he suddenly felt like he was walking a tightrope suspended over the Grand Canyon with no net.
He pulled out his phone and dialed Emma. It rang four times before going to voicemail. He hung up and got a text message. With a patient. Will call you back. It was one of those premade auto texts.
Dylan blew out a breath and wandered inside, but now all he could think about was that email. Then the fact that Emma hadn’t told him she loved him crept into his mind. The way she’d tried to sneak out this morning without saying goodbye.
Each thought added weight to his heart.
Inside, he sat on the cushions pushed up against the wall and looked at his phone. No message. No call. He scrolled through Pinterest for a while. Checked his email. Still no message. Still no call.
He knew the email wasn’t his business, but his heart was on the line here. His future was at stake. At least that was how he justified tapping into her email and opening the Somalia/Ethiopia message.
Dr. Reeves, the team is thrilled with your interest in our mission. They’ve unanimously agreed that you are the perfect fit. Our administration team has agreed to extend your residency to encompass this mission, which should allow you to defer your school loan payments.
All the information you should need for the trip is attached. If you have any questions or concerns, please contact me. As you know, we’re on a very short timeline. Your attending physician has both recommended you for the position and agreed to let you leave before you are officially finished with your residency in the ED. The road has been fully cleared for you.
Now you just need to get your inoculations and trip insurance and fill out the attached forms. Please remember that your immune system won’t be fully guarded against certain diseases for four to six weeks. Take required precautions.
Welcome aboard.
He stared at the last two words.
Welcome aboard.
Dylan’s chest felt like a steel band stole all his air. He tried to think himself out of the panic. But when he clicked on the trip information file, his heart fell to his feet.
It was a year-long project, and she would be leaving in just three days.
20
Emma placed the last stitch into the wrist of a twenty-year-old who’d taken a fall while skateboarding.
“All done,” she told the young man who’d remained stoic during the procedure. She tied off, trimmed the end of the thread and inspected the finished product. “The edges will join over the next week, and the wound will heal flat. You need to make an appointment with your regular physician to get the stitches out in about two weeks.”
He nodded and met Emma’s eyes. “Thank you.”
He was a good-looking kid with dark hair and light-blue eyes. Long, lanky, and muscular, he reminded her a little of Dylan when he’d been the same age. Which only reminded her of just how much he’d changed. She thought of the way her hands and mouth had traveled his body last night, cataloging every scar, every rise and dip of new muscle.
Their first night together had been too frenzied and needy to appreciate the changes. Last night, they’d been able to slow down and savor. The thought still moved something deep inside her, the same way it had last night.
“Mandy will bandage that for you,” she said, indicating the nurse, “and give you discharge instructions. Good luck to you.”
She thanked Mandy on the way out of the room and moved to the computer at the nurs
e’s station to add notes into the patient’s electronic chart. This had been one of those nonstop shifts, giving her the excuse she needed not to call Dylan back. But as her shift came to a close, he filled her thoughts, along with a very difficult decision she still had to make.
Emma looked at her phone. Cindy from Vanderbilt hadn’t called her back. Dylan hadn’t called her back either. Nor had he sent any texts. The lack of communication from him had her on edge. Normally he texted her photos and notes about the house every day. Today, nothing after that one phone call this morning.
“Hey there.”
Emma looked up and found Maizey standing at the counter. “Hey.”
“Flannigan’s got two cracked ribs,” she said, indicating one of Emma’s patients. “Seven and eight on the left. The full report’s in the system.”
“Okay, thanks.”
“So?” Maizey said. “What did you decide?”
Emma looked at her phone again. “I’m waiting for a call back from Cindy Marlow.”
Her brows shot up. “You’re staying?”
Emma’s stomach fluttered. Anxiety crawled up her spine. This decision terrified her. Literally terrified her. She tried to tell herself that was an old script playing in her head. Tried to pull her memories back to the way she and Dylan had connected last night, not this torturous decision, one she’d never dreamed she’d ever have to make—choosing between her dreams or Dylan.
“Don’t do that,” Maizey said, reading Emma’s emotions the way she’d been able to for decades. ”This isn’t life or death, Em.”
But it could be the life or death of her relationship with Dylan. A relationship she couldn’t even identify or label. Did sleeping together mean they were back together? Or were they just finding closure? Dylan had told her he loved her at least half a dozen times since he’d been home, but Emma hadn’t been able to return the words. Admitting to how deeply she still loved him absolutely paralyzed her.
She let out a deep breath and looked around to make sure no one was standing close enough to hear their conversation. “This just shouldn’t be so hard. I’m either willing to give us another shot or I’m not. It’s something I’ve dreamt about so many times, I’ve lost count. It’s why I waited so long to finalize the divorce. But once I did, I severed any possibility of us getting back together. Trying to undo that after four years isn’t as easy for me as it obviously is for Dylan. Honestly, I don’t know if it’s possible. I can’t seem to convince myself to invest my heart in him again. I mean, isn’t that the definition of insanity? Making the same mistakes and expecting a different result?”
Maizey tilted her head with a confused look. “Wait, are you waiting on the callback from Cindy to tell her you’re not taking the job?”
Emma blew out a breath. “I don’t even know anymore. I swear I’ve changed my answer a dozen times since I called her—yes, no, yes, no. Maybe it’s better that she hasn’t called back yet.”
“Why don’t you talk to Dylan about it?”
“Because this isn’t his decision to make. It’s mine.” He’d already taken too many of her choices away. “Besides, I already know where he stands. He’s been very clear. He’s signed a contract with a new network, and I’m glad, because he really needs family in his life. He’s not going to want me to go. But that can’t be part of the equation for my decision.”
Maizey gave her arm a squeeze. “Whatever you decide, I’m behind you one hundred percent.”
Emma came out from behind the counter and hugged her friend. “Thank you.”
After finishing up with all her patients, Emma made her way to the car, wondering if Cindy not calling her back was a sign of some sort. Maybe they’d gotten tired of waiting for her answer and hired someone else. She wasn’t even sure how she’d feel if they had. Relieved? Disappointed?
Emma rolled down the driver’s window and let the cold air clear her head. If she was leaving, she really only had a couple of days to get everything done for the trip. She would need inoculations, money exchange, books on the area and the language. Then there was packing and moving out of her apartment.
The pressure mounted until she thought her chest would crack.
It looked like she was going to have to enlist Dylan’s help in making this decision after all. A surprising amount of relief flowed in the wake of that realization. It felt good to know she had someone at home who would really listen to her. Really understand her. For as much as she and Liam had in common, they had always been on different playing fields.
A new sensation of hope flowed as she drove toward Dylan. A sense of joy bubbled up and pushed her fears aside. It felt amazing to have someone to go home to. Someone who was interested in her day, her feelings, her needs. Only now did she realize how difficult it had been to enjoy her time with Liam, when Liam was always concerned about Liam.
The lights were on in her aunt’s house, and Dylan’s truck was in the drive. Emma’s heart lifted. Happiness pushed through her veins. All her worries faded.
And that was all she needed to know exactly what the next step should be.
Emma entered the house through the kitchen door in the back. She didn’t see Dylan, but she was smiling as she looked around the space where someone had drawn out the kitchen floor plan in florescent paint. She noticed Dylan walk in from the hallway in her peripheral vision but didn’t look up from the floor when she said, “This is amazing. Is this whole area an island? I never thought you would be able to fit an island this size in the kitchen.”
“I can’t. I have to build out the kitchen three more feet.”
Something in Dylan’s voice drew her attention. And as soon as she saw his expression, a chill seized her gut.
“I got the idea from the Pinterest board,” he said, voice and gaze flat. “All your kitchen posts had a common theme of a very large center island, and I wanted to give you everything you wanted. So I’m building out the kitchen three feet that way,” he gestured toward the other side of the house, “and you’ll get your island. But I’m not sure it matters anymore. You can’t enjoy a large center island in Nashville when you’re in Somalia.”
Heat burned away the chill in her stomach. Emma’s mouth dropped open, and confusion muddied her mind. No one knew about the Somalia trip except Darla, Maizey, and her boss. She hadn’t even told her parents.
“How did you hear about Somalia?”
“So you’re going? You’ve been planning to leave all this time?”
Emma crossed her arms and took a deliberate breath. After walking into the house with a sense of relief and hope, his demeanor felt like an attack. “You didn’t answer my question.”
“I was looking through the Pinterest board for ideas to make this incredible kitchen you wanted, and an email popped up on the screen from someone at your hospital.”
Emma had seen the email as well on her phone earlier in the day, but she hadn’t considered Dylan might see it. She imagined him reading the message and experienced a pinch of hurt for the shock it must have caused him. She couldn’t care less about him reading her email; she didn’t have anything to hide. Or at least she hadn’t when she’d given him the password to her tablet.
“When were you going to tell me?” he asked.
“I was going to tell you once I made a decision.”
“Without talking to me about it? Is this payback for me taking a job with the network here without telling you? Because I took that job to stay with you, not get away from you.”
“No. You don’t get to do that. You took that job because you want to stay in the States. I may have been a small part of the reason, but you also want to stay for your family. You want to stay because this is your home and your work overseas is done for now. And it’s fine. It’s good. It’s the right thing for you. I’m glad you’re staying. You’ve been gone too long and your family needs you here now. You’ve lived your dreams.”
That was when the full reality of the situation hit her. She’d been planning on ditching her dre
ams for a man. A man who’d selfishly put himself first for nearly a decade. She was letting her love for him stunt her life. Her growth. Her happiness. Again.
“I didn’t tell you because I needed to make this decision on my own.” She took a deep breath and acknowledged the feelings she’d been repressing. “This is my chance. This opportunity is perfect for me. It defers my school loans until the house is finished and sold while also giving me a safe, immediate way to go overseas and help people who are suffering. I really want this. I’ve worked so damn hard to get here.”
He stepped forward and gripped her biceps, his gaze sliding from anger to pain. “I get that, and I want this for you too. But if you just wait two years and work at Vanderbilt like we talked about, then we could do it together, just like we always wanted.”
“It will never be just like we always wanted.” The reality was a splash of icy water. “You went on with your dreams without me. You can’t just change your mind and pop up and expect me to fall into line. I’m not a kid anymore, and I have my own life. One I built without you. You made that decision, and I had no control over it. But I do have control over this one, and I’m not going to let you take that from me.”
Then she made the biggest, most important decision she’d made since she’d left Germany without him. “I’m going.”
21
Emma’s chest tightened with every passing mile. Now, as Maizey pulled to the curb at the United terminal at the Nashville International Airport, Emma could barely breathe.
“Are you okay?”
“Yep.” Emma met Maizey’s question with an overenthusiastic response. “I’m great.”
She hadn’t spoken to Dylan since she walked out of her aunt’s house three days ago. Not a phone call, not a voice message, not a single text. She hadn’t expected him to chase after her, but given his diligence over the last month, she hadn’t expected radio silence either.