by Gina Wilkins
“That’s not quite how I remember it,” he murmured.
Perhaps she’d made it sound easier than it had been. Less traumatic. She remembered a few heated discussions, plenty of tears—but she’d always believed the decision, while hard, had been mutual.
Haley studied them both. “Then you ran into each other by accident in London when you were studying abroad, Anne?”
“Yes.”
This time it was Liam who replied, “No.”
Anne blinked at him. “What?”
“I knew you were there,” he said with a shrug. “Heard it through the grapevine, you could say. I made sure we ran into each other.”
Thinking back to that seemingly random encounter in a Chelsea fish and chips place, she stared at him in astonishment. “You found me intentionally?”
“Um—yeah.”
“And why, exactly, did you not tell me this before?”
He shrugged. “I guess it just never came up.”
Haley choked on what might have been a muffled laugh. “Do you two ever actually, you know, talk?”
“We haven’t really been together all that much,” Liam admitted with a wry look at Anne. “During our entire marriage, we’ve spent only a total of maybe four weeks together—two of them in this one visit. Most of our conversations have been on the phone or through e-mails.”
Haley’s smile faded. “That has to be tough. And I understand why you didn’t feel like you could spring the news on your family when your mother was so ill, Anne. But she’s a lot better now, isn’t she?”
“She had a troublesome setback last year, but on the whole, she’s doing much better now.”
“So, why don’t you tell them? Wouldn’t that be easier than all this sneaking around?”
Anne and Liam looked at each other quickly, and then away. “It’s just not the right time,” Anne muttered. “You know how tough school is right now. Not to mention that we’re about to have to start studying in earnest for Step 1. My family would be in such an uproar that I couldn’t possibly concentrate on my studies.”
“And I’ll have to leave again in a few weeks, anyway,” Liam added, sounding as though he agreed completely with her on this point, at least. “I’m staying here only until I finish writing a book about my travels, then I’m taking off for Haiti in a couple of months to report on the orphaned street kids there. I’d hate to leave Anne to deal with the fallout of our announcement by herself. It would be better to wait until we can live together openly.”
It was the first Anne had heard about him going to Haiti. Was this a new development for him, or had he simply neglected to mention it before? Haley was right, she realized abruptly. She and Liam really didn’t communicate enough.
Not to mention that he seemed no more eager to break the news about their marriage than she was.
“So you’re just going to go on the way you have been?”
Anne and Liam shared quick glances, then nodded in unison.
“For now, anyway,” Anne said.
“It seems best,” he agreed.
After a moment, Haley shrugged. “Whatever works for you. You can both be assured that no one will hear the truth from me.”
Anne smiled at her. “Thank you, Haley. I knew we could trust you. I wish I’d told you sooner. It bothered me to keep it from you when you and I have become such good friends. I hope you can forgive me.”
“There’s nothing to forgive,” Haley replied immediately. “You had your reasons. Nothing at all has changed between us. Except I guess I’ll have to stop trying to fix you up with guys,” she added with a laugh.
“I’d appreciate that,” Liam said wryly.
Propping her chin in her hand, Haley studied Liam openly. “You look really different with the short hair and the glasses. It’s no wonder you haven’t been recognized around here.”
“How did you recognize him?” Anne asked curiously.
This time it was Haley’s turn to blush. “I’m a huge fan. I’ve seen all your TV episodes. I recognized you as soon as you stepped out of the bedroom—even if you weren’t wearing your usual safari gear,” she added with a little giggle. “As soon as Anne confirmed your name, I knew I was right, as unlikely as it seemed.”
He smiled, looking flattered, which made Anne tempted to kick his shin. Just because. She could all too easily imagine that he met plenty of gushing female fans—and Haley was the only one who knew he was unavailable. Anne didn’t even like to think about his encounters with the ones who considered him fair game.
“Are you going to grow out your hair again?”
“Probably. As Annie has pointed out, the hair’s more famous than I am,” Liam said with a laugh.
“Oh, I doubt that. It’s your talent that’s gotten you where you are. You make all your reports so interesting and so informative. Sometimes I feel almost as if I’d visited those places myself after I’ve watched one of your shows.”
“Thank you. That’s what I hope to accomplish.”
Haley glanced at Anne. “It must be hard for you to sit here in this apartment studying while Liam’s off seeing so many fascinating places.”
Anne forced a smile. “I’m doing what I have to do to pursue my own career,” she said with a light shrug. “Liam has his dreams and I have mine.”
Something about that statement didn’t sound right, she thought after she’d said it. Too much “his” and “mine” and not enough “ours,” maybe. But since that was the state of their marriage for the time being, there was no use fretting about it.
She stood rather abruptly. “We should start transferring those files you need, Haley. It won’t be long before we have to go meet the guys for our study session.”
“And I should get to work myself.” Liam stood and smiled at Haley. “It was a pleasure meeting you, Haley. Anne, I’ll be in the office if you need me for anything.”
She nodded, not quite meeting his eyes as he walked away. He closed himself into the other room, leaving her alone with her friend. Fortunately, Haley seemed to sense that Anne needed to concentrate on school concerns for a while, rather than any further discussion of her complicated relationship with Liam.
While there was some relief in having her friend know the truth, Anne was beset by a sudden, uncharacteristically superstitious fear that one accidental discovery could lead to a domino effect of everyone she knew uncovering the secret she’d been trying so hard to hide for more than a year. Though at the moment, discovery seemed to be only one of the perils she and Liam faced.
As Anne had expected, Haley was entirely circumspect in front of their study group about what she had discovered. With the exception of making no more jokes about blind dates or singles’ clubs, she treated Anne no differently than she ever had, making it easier for them both to pretend that nothing had changed. And yet, Anne felt that the accidental revelation had deepened their friendship. Perhaps it was because she no longer needed to lie to Haley, even by omission, which gave her the freedom to be completely herself in front of her friend. It was nice to have one person, at least, other than Liam with whom that was possible.
The group met for intensive study sessions both Saturday and Sunday afternoons. Maybe because they were so focused on their common goals, the tension Anne had been sensing among them lately seemed to ease. Even Haley and Ron stopped sniping at each other and started cooperating more with helping all of them learn as much of the material as possible.
Still, Anne believed something had changed in the past couple of months, and she couldn’t quite figure out what it was. Maybe it was her own guilty conscience, she thought with a slight wince, though she didn’t know why she should feel at all remorseful about keeping her private life hidden from the guys in the group. It wasn’t as if she knew everything about their lives, after all.
She didn’t know why Ron had grown slightly less jovial during the past few months. He was still the one who could most easily make everyone else laugh, but he wasn’t quite the class clown he’
d been when she’d first met him. Maybe it was just that he, too, was having trouble dealing with the pressures of classes and tests.
As for James—well, she doubted that any of them really knew James. They all liked him, they considered him a real friend, an important part of their group—but there were parts of James that he kept hidden from all of them. She and Haley had discussed that a couple of times when they were alone, wondering idly together what made James so obsessively private. They’d decided it was none of their business, really, and they chose to like him, anyway, just as Anne believed he genuinely liked all of them.
If she could respect his boundaries, why should she feel so uncomfortable about having one rather significant secret of her own?
They ended their session at just after five Sunday afternoon, because several of the group had other plans. Anne and Haley paused by Anne’s car for a moment before going their own ways.
“I dread Daughtry’s lecture tomorrow,” Haley confided in a grumble, continuing a conversation they had started inside. “He was so boring last week, it was all I could do to stay awake.”
“Not to mention all those snide comments he made about how if we were too stupid to understand all the material he was throwing at us, we’d never pass Step 1 and we’d all wash out of med school.”
“I know, right? He was just in an all-round lousy mood that day.”
Anne was aware of that, but it hadn’t stopped her from being stung by the instructor’s grim warnings, even though they had been addressed to the whole class equally, and certainly not to her personally.
“How are things at home?” Haley asked in a furtive voice, changing the subject after looking around to make sure no one else could hear them. It was the first time she’d asked about Liam, even indirectly, since she’d left Anne’s apartment Saturday, probably because this was the first time they’d been alone since.
Anne wrinkled her nose. “I haven’t been there much to tell. You should know. We spent all day studying with the group yesterday until late last night.”
And there came the guilt again, she thought, squirming a little. She should be spending more time with Liam, especially since he had just lost his father. But he had insisted she meet with her group, as she would have had he not been there. He was fine, he kept telling her. Busy with his revisions, which he still seemed reluctant to discuss with her.
“No more unexpected visitors?”
Laughing a little, Anne shook her head. “No. Our secret is still safe.”
“Was Liam upset that I barged in that way and saw him there?”
“No, I don’t think so. He enjoyed meeting you.”
“So he’s been here a few weeks and I’m the only one who has recognized him?”
“He wears a ball cap pulled low when he goes out in public. But, yes, as far as I know, you’re the only one who’s identified him.”
“I’ve seen his photo in a few magazines,” Haley confessed. “I’ve been intrigued by his career since I first discovered his cable program while flipping channels one night a couple years back. Everything about him just seems so…larger-than-life, I guess. On TV, anyway.”
Amused, Anne asked, “Not in person?”
“Oh, he’s still interesting in person. Still seriously good-looking. He was just, well, more normal than I expected him to be. I mean, married and living in your apartment and doing laundry and working in your office rather than tramping through some exotic location.”
Anne bit her lip. Was that part of what Liam had worried about? That being seen as a settled, married man would make him less interesting to his viewers, and as a result, to his sponsors?
“So, when are you going to tell your family the truth?” Haley asked curiously. “Have you decided on a particular occasion?”
“Not really. We keep waiting for the right time, but we haven’t actually defined what that time would be. The longer we wait…well, the harder it is, you know?”
“I can imagine. It would be tough enough to announce a new marriage to your disapproving family, but if they find out you’ve actually been married for more than a year…”
Anne gulped. “You see why it’s so complicated.”
“I guess. Liam’s okay with waiting? He isn’t pushing you to tell your family soon?”
“He’s in no more of a hurry than I am. He’s not looking forward to the mayhem, either. And he has his career to think of. He’s the footloose, bachelor adventurer, remember? He has to consider how this news would affect that image.”
“It would make headlines,” Haley conceded. “At least in certain venues. Some of the gossip columnists might be intrigued that the adventurer chose a quiet, brainy medical student from Arkansas as a mate. How will you feel about being photographed and interviewed with him, with people wondering about whether you’re a suitable match for him?”
Anne shuddered. “Gee, thanks, Haley. Just what I need to give me nightmares tonight.”
Haley looked instantly apologetic. “Sorry. I was just speculating. It’s not as if Liam’s a rock star or anything. You wouldn’t be surrounded by paparazzi or anything like that.”
But Haley was right that there would be some media attention given to Liam’s marriage, Anne reflected glumly. Especially when his book was published to add to his public image. And, being the private type she was, she wasn’t looking forward to that scrutiny.
She and Liam hadn’t even talked about that part of the future—like so much else that they’d avoided discussing or planning. How had she ever let herself get into this crazy situation? Was it really only because she hadn’t wanted to upset her parents during her mother’s health crisis? Because of her own stress over the first two difficult years of medical school? Or was there more to their hesitation to go public? Were they holding back because neither of them was really sure the marriage would survive if they tried to make it more authentic? More “normal?”
Haley being who she was—unafraid to broach the more difficult topics—asked carefully, “Um, you don’t suppose there’s any other reason Liam wants to keep the marriage secret, do you?”
Anne didn’t have to ask for clarification. “If you’re talking about other women, I trust Liam completely,” she said, trying to speak with total assurance.
After a moment, Haley smiled wryly. “That either makes you very confident in your man—or incredibly naive. I’m not sure I could be so trusting.”
But then, Haley probably wouldn’t have gotten into a situation like this to begin with, Anne thought glumly, making an excuse to be on her way. As she drove the short distance back to her apartment, she told herself that she did trust Liam as far as other women were concerned. But could their marriage survive the other obstacles between them—his antipathy toward her family, and theirs toward him, his constant traveling and her commitment to her career training, the parts of themselves they had never fully revealed to each other? Her answer to that nagging question didn’t come as easily to her.
She tried to push her worries aside and put a smile on her face when she entered her apartment. She had an entire evening to spend with Liam. Even if she would use part of that time for studying, there was no reason they couldn’t set aside an hour or so for…
She stopped short just inside her apartment door. “Um—what’s going on here?”
Liam was on his hands and knees in the middle of the living room floor. A squealing toddler straddled his back, somewhat sticky-looking hands clutching Liam’s hair.
Liam grinned ruefully up at her. “Hi, Annie.”
“Horsie!” Little Parker kicked his bare feet insistently into Liam’s sides, making Liam wince and then rear obligingly up on his knees, pawing the air with his hands and making whinnying noises. Parker shrieked in delight, the shrill sound driving itself into Anne’s eardrums like a shard of glass.
She raised her voice a bit to be heard above the tiny cowboy’s laughter. “Is Rose here?”
“Rose is at work. Her aunt had to cancel babysitting servi
ces at the last minute this evening, so Rose begged me to fill in. She promised it would be just this one time.”
The rather breathless explanation was punctuated with whinnies and more squeals, but Anne followed along easily enough. She could picture the scene—Rose had probably been desperate and tearful and Liam couldn’t say no. She suspected she might have done the same under the circumstances, despite her better judgment.
She crossed the room to set her books and computer bag on the table, pushing them to the center to make sure they were out of a toddler’s reach. “When will she be back?”
“She said she gets off work at nine. So she’ll be here shortly after that.”
Anne glanced at her watch. Another three and a half hours? Really? What were they supposed to do with the child until then? And how would she ever get anything done with Parker here?
“The horsie needs a rest, Park-o,” Liam said, smoothly rolling Parker off his back and onto the floor. He rose a little stiffly, scooping the toddler onto his hip at the same time. “Don’t worry, Annie, I’ll keep the kid occupied. I’m going to feed him dinner and then take him down to his place for b-e-d. Rose gave me her key. She said he’s usually out cold by eight.”
“She gave you her key?” Her young neighbor was certainly the trusting sort, to leave both her child and her key with a man she’d met only a couple of times, she thought disapprovingly.
Liam shrugged. “I’ve talked to her a few times when our paths crossed outside. Played with Parker a bit in the courtyard. I guess she figured she could trust me by now.”
She didn’t realize he’d gotten quite so friendly with the duo. She supposed he’d been lonelier than she had realized here by himself so much. “Oh. Well.”
“Play, Lee,” Parker insisted, tapping Liam’s cheek for attention.
“Okay. How about we play with the farm set you brought with you?” Liam carried Parker to the other side of the room, where a thick canvas bag was propped against the wall, next to a brightly colored red plastic barn. Distracted by the sight of Parker, Anne hadn’t noticed those things before. She watched as Liam sat cross-legged on the floor and opened the hinged barn, shaking out cartoonish plastic animals, a tractor and trailer, and a big-headed farmer. A moment later, noisy and improbable animal sounds came from that direction as Liam and Parker enthusiastically shuffled the herd into the trailer.