by Kim Amos
It was her favorite time to get a workout in—to be alone and let her legs move while her brain unfurled its coiled ideas—but today she wasn’t so sure she liked how much her focus kept shifting back to Kieran Callaghan.
She desperately wanted to think that after five years, her searing desire for him would have cooled a little bit. She’d always told herself that she couldn’t resist a bad boy—but Kieran wasn’t acting like a bad boy now. And a prickling unease reminded her that she wasn’t sure he ever had been. Sure, he had ridden a motorcycle and didn’t seem to have any kind of full-time job when she first met him. But he’d never seemed downright…nefarious. She’d stereotyped him that way later, after he’d left her. Her hurt had rewritten the story of their brief time together, and after a while she’d figured she must have imagined his blend of tenderness and muscle, and how a jumble of contrasts could exist in one man: strength and softness, intelligence and bravado.
Audrey wiped her forehead and hoped her thoughts of Kieran would be wiped away, too. All these mental gymnastics and flutters in her stomach didn’t mean anything, except maybe she needed to get laid. Never mind that she’d never had a one-night stand in her life. Even after such a short time with Kieran, when they came together, she’d believed she was in love. But if there was any time to shake things up, it was now.
Not that it had to be sex that changed things. She pushed a strand of sweaty hair away from her forehead. When it came down to it, there were thousand ways to change her life that didn’t have to involve a man. She could change out her wardrobe, or take lessons of some sort. She could get another degree, or train for a triathlon.
She could learn to ride a Harley.
The options pumped through her in time with her heartbeat.
Audrey crossed the Birch River, its water dark and rustling, and then headed toward the high school. If she kept going straight, she’d hit downtown. After that, up a gentle hill, was Willa’s neighborhood, where White Pine’s biggest homes were built. Audrey lived on the other side of the river—in a simple one-story house she loved and had bought herself—though she favored runs through Willa’s quiet streets where ancient oaks arced over her like protective giants. Many of those grand homes had been built by White Pine’s early bankers, lumber barons, and railroad executives. The structures were still stately and lovely, with old ivy crawling up the sides and long, curved driveways that seemed to smile as she raced by.
Not today, though. Audrey was going to hit the track at the high school and do sprints, then run the metal bleachers. She needed to squeeze into her work attire every day, and the regular recipe exchanges—especially the ones to which she brought donuts—weren’t going to help anything stay buttoned or fastened.
As she ran across the damp football field toward the track, she thought she saw a dark figure silhouetted in the shadows of the bleachers. She blinked and tried to focus, but it was still too early—there wasn’t enough light to really tell. Nevertheless, she pushed her shoulders back and kept her head high. Look strong so your attacker will think twice, she’d read once. She’d never felt unsafe running alone in her beloved small town, but it was good to be aware nevertheless.
Thinking ahead. Covering her bases.
She exhaled, suddenly frustrated with being so logical and practical and predictable. She had forced herself to play by every rule in life, and it had left her single and fired from her dream job. Irritated, she pushed herself to sprint the last bit of distance to the track, then went right for the bleachers. Up, up, up to the top—her legs burning and her lungs heaving.
When she turned to trot down and do it again, she screamed at the hooded figure standing at the bottom of the stands, waiting for her.
“I am armed!” she cried, glancing around for an exit strategy, “and I will hurt you.”
The figure waved its hands. She couldn’t make out exactly what it was saying, but when it finally pushed its hood back, she relaxed. A dark ponytail cascaded from the top of the figure’s head, curling at the ends around the shoulders. From Audrey’s vantage point, it looked like Alexis Belten.
“Ms. Tanner!” the figure called. “It’s just me! Sorry if I scared you!”
Audrey trotted back down the stairs, her heartbeat slowing and her muscles relaxing.
“Alexis?”
Sure enough, the track team member and one-time volleyball player was standing there in the dark, nervously shifting her tall, lean frame from one foot to the other.
“I’m so sorry,” Alexis said, “but I had to make sure that it really was you out here, and then you screamed and I was like, oh crap she thinks I’m a murderer, but then I remembered my hood was up so I pushed it back so hopefully you’d know it was me and not, like, Jack the Ripper.”
Audrey nodded. “That’s all fine. But what are you doing here? The sun’s not even up.”
“No, I know,” Alexis said, twisting her hands together. “That’s the point. Not that it’s dark, I mean, but that you’re here and this is when you work out sometimes and I want to work out with you. I came yesterday and the day before, because I know you do bleachers at least one day a week, I just didn’t know which day. I wanted to join you is all.”
Even in the dark, Audrey could see Alexis’s forehead crinkling with nervousness and something else. Worry? Why hadn’t the girl just called or e-mailed her?
“Of course you can run with me,” she replied. “We could tackle these bleachers together if you wanted.”
The pretty, rounded apples of Alexis’s cheeks plumped with happiness. “That would be awesome. Hard, but awesome.”
“Why don’t we walk around the track once, just to get you warmed up,” Audrey suggested, her heart pinching at how easily her coaching instincts kicked in. And at how happy it made her.
The pair set off, taking the quarter-mile in quick, brisk steps. “So is everything all right?” Audrey asked after a moment, glancing sideways at Alexis. As she did, the screen lit up on the slim phone tucked into the running band on the girl’s arm. It glowed eerily in the fading darkness. Audrey figured it for a text message. Her students texted like they breathed. “Things okay with you?”
Alexis’s ponytail bounced as she worked her arms and legs. “Um, I guess they’re okay. The new coach, Mr. Frace? He’s such a joke. He barely makes us do anything, like he’s so worried that we’ll break a sweat or something. It’s like he thinks we’re swooning ladies in those books he teaches—Pride and Prejudice or whatever.”
Audrey smiled, though her chest tightened to think about the girls’ track team barely practicing. They’d never make it to district finals at this rate—never mind State.
“You’re signing yourself up for two practices today, you know,” Audrey said. “Just because you’re running with me this morning doesn’t mean you get out of Mr. Frace’s practice later, no matter how lame it is.”
“I get it,” Alexis said, her mouth pulling downward.
“If it’s too much, you can always run with me on the weekends. I always get a good workout in on Sunday mornings.”
Alexis flashed a smile, which disappeared as quickly as it came. “That would be great. Because the whole team misses you, you know. It’s stupid what they did to you. And I…”
Audrey arched a brow as the girl’s words faded. Alexis bit her lower lip and appeared to have more to say.
“And?” Audrey prompted gently.
“Nothing,” Alexis replied, shaking her head. They were back at the bleachers, and the slender girl put her hands on her hips. The screen on her phone lit up again.
“Is someone trying to get in touch with you?” Audrey asked. “Seems awfully early for texting.”
“No, it’s fine.”
The screen lit up again. Audrey paused, inviting her to say more, but Alexis pushed past it.
“God, running these bleachers is going to suck,” she said instead.
“Sure you want to?” Audrey asked, allowing Alexis to change the subject. She figured out early
on in her career that pushing teenage girls to talk would get you nowhere. Best to let Alexis reveal what she had to say in her own time.
“Oh, heck yes. And I bet I can beat you.”
“Oh, you think?” Audrey asked. “On your mark, get set—”
“Go!” Alexis cried, taking off ahead of her. On her arm, her phone’s screen glowed again, dimming as the girl raced away.
Audrey followed, letting Alexis get a big head start. She watched Alexis hurtle herself up the bleachers, and couldn’t help but be impressed. Alexis would win their race today for real.
And Audrey figured she’d find her own way to win today, too—or, at least try something totally new—at the dealership. She was going to shake up her life somehow. It was time.
Whether or not it involved Kieran Callaghan was an entirely different issue altogether.
* * *
An hour later, Audrey watched the steam rising from her mug of coffee as she waited for her sister, Casey, to pick up the phone. Outside her kitchen windows, birds darted from tree branch to tree branch, trilling and singing in the pale sun. They’d finally returned from their long winter somewhere far away from White Pine.
Welcome back to the best place to be, she thought. Her gaze traveled from the birds to the battered notebook resting next to her coffee. She used it for coaching, and it was scrawled with drills and practice ideas. It included everything from weight-lifting regimens to how to divvy up the workouts to ideas for getting enough protein into athletes. She’d pulled it out after her run with Alexis, wondering if she’d have the chance to really use it again.
The thought had her smiling slightly when Casey finally answered.
“Hello.” The word out of her sister’s mouth was a statement, a period in a conversation that hadn’t even started yet.
“Hi, Casey,” Audrey said. She heard the rustle of papers in the background. “Are you at work already?” It was barely eight o’clock.
“I’m doing a round of tax prep for some of the companies with extensions past April fifteenth,” Casey said, sounding distracted. “The date for filing never moves, but you’d be amazed at how many people can’t get it together.”
Audrey pictured the rows of manila folders in her home office, each one neatly labeled thanks to her sister, and knew she’d probably be one of those late-filers if it weren’t for Casey.
“Long day, then,” Audrey said, trying to sound sympathetic, even though she knew her sister loved her job. Casey worked as a corporate accountant about an hour up the road in Eagan, a suburb of Minneapolis. She spent most of her time in a small office on the sixth floor of a glass-walled office building that had a shallow man-made pond out front. Audrey never could get past the smell of the place—a mixture of paste and paint—or the way the plastic leaves on the fake plants in the atrium collected dust. But Casey was there day in and day out, promoted again and again, and never seemed to tire of the columns, spreadsheets, and forms that comprised her successful career.
“Any movement on the employment front?” Casey asked. The question’s phrasing had Audrey picturing soldiers lined up to do battle, pressing into enemy territory.
“It’s, um…” Her eyes tracked the birds fluttering past her window. “It’s not what I expected.” Her stomach sank at the evasion. It wasn’t a lie, not technically, but guilt still weighted her insides.
“There’s nothing in that town,” Casey said. “You need to move up here.”
Audrey forced a smile, reminding herself that if her sister was opinionated, it was only because she was used to playing the role. The two girls had lost their parents when Audrey was ten and Casey was thirteen. They’d gone to live with their aunt Lodi, who was struggling to get by on her own—never mind having two girls around. Casey was the one who’d had to grow up too quickly and become the adult, making sure Audrey ate, making sure she had clean clothes, making sure Audrey did her homework and stayed out of trouble. It was because of Casey that Audrey had tried out for the track team in high school and had gone to college on a track scholarship.
It’s because of me she’s in that office right now, Audrey thought, her heart constricting. If Casey hadn’t had to care for Audrey for so many years, maybe she wouldn’t have grown to expect that responsibility was always hers to shoulder—a trait she never lost. These days, she applied it to her job, working almost constantly. Audrey pictured her sister’s bare left hand and swallowed back still more guilt. Would her sister be married if it wasn’t for Audrey? Would she be happier?
“I’d love for us to live closer,” Audrey hedged, “but I’m still looking into a few job opportunities in White Pine. There’s more than you think.”
Casey sighed. “Well, in the meantime, I’ve got some potential leads for you up here. I’ll keep you posted.”
Audrey clutched the phone. She tried to summon the boldness she’d felt in her Harley clothes, the same emotions she was able to channel at Lumberjack Grocery, in order to tell her sister she didn’t want to move to Eagan. She’d loved so many things about her P.E. job—the kids, the parents, the other teachers—but the thing she’d loved most about all of it was being in White Pine. Doing all this work in her hometown had her feeling like she was making a difference in a place that mattered to her. Doing that somewhere else—it felt like forcing two puzzle pieces together that just didn’t want to fit.
But the argument died on Audrey’s lips. Her sister was trying to help her—that was what she always did—and Audrey should be grateful instead of combative.
“Sounds good,” she lied. The picture of Kieran Callaghan was filling her mind, and she knew she should tell her sister about him, about the temporary position at the Harley dealership that was helping buy her more time in White Pine. Casey hadn’t liked Kieran five years ago—and she wasn’t about to get excited about him now—but her sister should know the truth. Or, at least part of it.
“Just so you know, Kieran Callaghan is back,” she said, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible. She dragged a finger along the linoleum counter. “I hear he works at a Harley dealership.” She left out the part about how she worked there, too.
There was a long pause. “You don’t say.”
“I saw him with my own eyes.”
Casey exhaled, long and slow. “I hope this goes without saying, but you should stay away from him.”
Audrey laughed, though it was forced. “Of course. Don’t worry about me.”
“I mean it.”
“So do I.” She knew she sounded defensive, but no one needed to worry about her and Kieran.
“Good. Then are we still on for lunch next week?” Casey asked. “I’ll come down there if it’s easier. You’re probably trying to conserve gas money.”
Audrey bit her lip. The numbers in her bank account were disastrously low—worse than even Casey knew. But instead of conserving gas money, she suddenly felt like pulling out her credit cards and going shopping. It was what a bold woman in high heels and leather corset would do—someone who eschewed the practical for the pleasurable. She pictured new shoes and an oversized handbag. She could almost taste the crusty baguettes at the expensive French café that Willa had taken her to once, which she suddenly wanted to visit again. She’d order a bottle of wine for lunch, and maybe even dessert, too.
She shook her head. She was losing it. She strained to focus.
“I would love to see you down here,” Audrey said. “I’ll meet you at the Paul Bunyan Diner next Saturday.”
“See you then,” Casey said. “Love you.” With a soft click, she was gone.
Audrey stood there holding the phone, watching the leaves twist on the trees outside. A distant sparrow caught her eye, a dark speck against the bright horizon. She watched it plunge, a breathtaking fall from the sky, and then at the last minute beat its wings once—a powerful thrust—and fling itself back upward.
She gritted her teeth. The birds were having a more exhilarating time than she was. It didn’t seem fair.
; Audrey glanced at the clock. It was time to get ready for work. It’s time for Kieran, she thought. A chill raced up her spine. She shivered. Already the idea of being near him again was overpowering.
She tried to push past it, to ignore it entirely. To listen to her sister’s cautionary words. But it was as if the sparrow she’d watched had become trapped in her chest and its fluttering wings were setting the electric tempo of her heartbeat.
CHAPTER SIX
Audrey was just coming out of the women’s bathroom—makeup on, and bustier laced, and ready for work—when Kieran came striding around the corner from the other direction. Audrey pulled up short, thinking that the sight of Kieran could stop any woman in her tracks.
He was wearing a white collared shirt that had Harley-Davidson embroidered above the breast pocket. The crisp material set off the dark-flamed color of his hair and the impossibly pale green of his eyes. He’d tucked the shirt neatly into jeans with a black leather belt, and he wore black, thick-soled Harley boots on his feet.
It was the perfect blend of professional and edgy—that same mix of contrasts that she’d once found so appealing about Kieran—and she stared longer than she should have. Just walk past, she commanded her legs, but they stayed rooted on the spot.
“Little late, aren’t you?” he said gruffly, glancing at his watch.
It was 9:55, and work didn’t start until ten o’clock. But instead of firing back, she gave him a slow smile. The kind of smile a woman who regularly dressed in a leather bustier might give a man she wanted. I can pretend I have an alter ego, she thought suddenly. She could be a different Audrey altogether—a badass, sexy Audrey—who could ride a motorcycle because Kieran would teach her. She’d tilt-shift Kieran Callaghan’s world, instead of the other way around, and get him to do what she wanted for a change.
The idea was ludicrous—and thrilling.
In spite of the alarm bells sounding in her head, she inched closer to him. Her pulse ricocheted just beneath her skin, and she prayed she wasn’t sweating visibly. “Maybe I’m right on time,” she whispered.