by Kim Amos
Dancing with him could be even better.
She smiled to herself and let him lead the way onto the dance floor.
CHAPTER TEN
The song blaring from the jukebox was a quick, twangy country song, but Kieran ignored it and crushed Audrey to him as if it were a slow dance. Bodies whirred past, but he paid them no mind. He needed Audrey close to him. Damn that bartender, and damn her sister, Casey, most of all.
He gripped Audrey more tightly, wondering what in the world he was going to do. He’d play his bluff, but, in the end, this might be his last chance to hold her, and he was determined to savor it. Her nearness made his muscles sore. His heart filled his rib cage and ached against his sternum.
“Kieran, I can’t breathe.”
She struggled and he reluctantly relaxed his grip. Pulling away, Audrey rubbed the part of her face that had been pressed into his shirt seam. “What is going on with you?”
Kieran ran a hand through his hair. Shit. She was staring at him with a bewildered expression.
“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” he said, “I just…” He trailed off. What could he possibly say?
For a moment, she just stared at him, befuddled, until someone bumped her from behind on the dance floor and she landed awkwardly against his chest. He steadied her in his arms, longer than necessary. She didn’t fight him.
“What gives?” she asked finally, her warm brown eyes melting him. “Are you all right?”
Hell no, he wasn’t all right. He was berating himself for being such a simpleton, approaching Casey like he had. Had he really thought she would just let him pick up where he and Audrey had left off? What foolish part of him had believed that if Casey saw him, if she just talked to him, she’d realize he and Audrey had a shot at something real? Secretly, he’d thought that she’d shake hands with him, let the past be the past, and give him her blessing to start anew.
But Casey wasn’t having any of it. She didn’t want Kieran within twenty feet of Audrey. Kieran’s muscles tightened, knowing that, now, if he wanted to try to be with Audrey, he was going to have to risk losing her in the process.
“Just—just dance with me a minute, okay? I promise I’ll let you breathe.”
She nodded and this time he pulled her to him with more decorum. With one hand around her small waist and the other holding her hand out to the side, he forced himself to inhale and exhale normally, to close his eyes against the tide of emotion ripping through him. He lowered his heartbeat the way he had practiced around the poker table, and put on his gambler’s face. This time, he had to bluff against himself—against his very own emotions.
“Did something happen?” Audrey asked.
He studied her face—her tiny, pert nose and her sweet, bow-shaped mouth—and knew he could lie and tell her everything was fine. He could play the gambler around her, again and again, or he could show her his cards. And his hand was terrible.
“I’m fine right now,” he said, bending down so he could speak directly into her ear, above the noise of the dance floor. He inhaled her clean vanilla smell and resisted nibbling on her delicate lobe. But he let his words come out with enough breath to make her shudder.
Her muscled legs were unbearably sexy in her leather skirt, and her thick hair was tumbling around her face like she’d just been walking in the wind. She looked wild, frankly, and he wanted to tame her in his arms. In his bed, if he could.
He was very aware of the fact that his weren’t the only set of eyes at the Wheelhouse trained in her direction. And he’d be damned if he’d let another man put his hands on her in his presence. Certainly not that bartender, Dave Englund.
Audrey studied his face, her warm eyes tracking back and forth across his features. He could feel sweat breaking out across his brow, in spite of his plans to remain calm and cool.
“Kieran, what aren’t you telling me?”
God, the woman could read him. Technically, he’d spent less time with her than he had with that waitress in Wichita, or that tour guide at Yellowstone, who had joked about his “Old Faithful.” And yet, when Audrey looked at him, she seemed to peer all the way into his soul—into the black depths of him that somehow didn’t frighten her, when they certainly should have.
Those black depths had frightened her sister, Casey, that was for sure.
Kieran tightened his grip on Audrey’s waist and pulled her an inch closer, wracking his brain for the best way to answer her.
He lifted his hand from Audrey’s waist to touch her cheek. He ran a single finger down her smooth, sun-kissed skin and formed the words of the truth in his throat, ready to confess everything:
Five years ago my brother and I had pooled some money to get medical treatment for my mom, because she had cancer. We agreed that I should try to increase the little bit we had, since I was a shrewd poker player. I agreed, and, at first, I was doing great. I was winning and I was going to bring enough home to help Mom. Except I kept playing, even when I was up. I couldn’t walk away. And as a result, I lost nearly everything. That’s when your sister found me, and she offered me money to help Mom, as long as I’d stay away from you. That was the deal. And, God help me, I took it. I got clean after that. But we still lost Mom, and in the end I lost you. And I’m sorry, because if I could go back and change how this all went down, and if I could change the way I left you, I would.
Only the words wouldn’t come. They were stuck in a shame-filled part of him that wanted to keep the past hidden forever from the woman in his arms. She deserved better than him, and he should just leave her alone. Even if she hinted at wanting him, seemed interested in rekindling what they had, it could never be.
Suddenly, Audrey froze in his arms. He blinked, bringing himself back to the here and now, only to find Audrey gazing up at him furiously.
“What?” he asked.
She never answered him. Instead, she reached up, grabbed the back of his neck, and brought his lips down on hers.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Oh, God, what was she doing kissing Kieran Callaghan? Heaven help her, she had been undone by his expression, the way he’d stared at her with a mix of sorrow and desire on his face like nothing she’d ever seen before. The raw vulnerability there had been a shocking thing to witness on this biker of a man, and it hinted at the truth kindling in her heart: that there were depths to Kieran Callaghan. And right now, she couldn’t resist inching closer to those possibly unknowable fathoms, daring to wonder at what was going on underneath his enormous exterior.
Kieran deepened the kiss, cutting off her thoughts. All that was left was the feel of his warm lips, of his tongue joining hers, and of his arms gripping her as if they’d never let go.
Kieran released one of her hands to plunge his fingers into her hair. He twisted the tendrils and tilted her head back slightly. Audrey submitted to the motion, allowing him more access to her lips, to her tongue, to her warm breath coming in ecstatic gasps.
She was dimly aware they were making out on the Wheelhouse dance floor like a couple of drunk teenagers and she didn’t even care. The electric feel of Kieran touching her again was all she cared about.
Audrey heard herself saying “yes” out loud. The word surprised her. And yet, this felt so unbelievably right. She wondered briefly how she’d ever managed to walk by him on the showroom floor without doing this each and every time.
Kieran broke the kiss to breathe into her ear. “I can’t make out with you like this. Not here. I can’t guarantee I’ll be able to control myself, and I won’t embarrass you in public.” The inches he suddenly placed between them felt like cold miles. Desire rolled through her, a turbulent wave that had her closing the gap. But he held her stiffly in his arms.
His light green eyes were serious as he stared at her. The magic of the moment was slipping away, and Audrey was desperate to hold on to it. She wanted the wood dance floor to be sticky with fairy dust, not spilled drinks. She wanted the overhead lights to flicker because they were stars, not becau
se they were shorted out. And she wanted to be this close to Kieran Callaghan again simply because she could be, not because she needed to be.
“Kieran, come on, let’s just dance—”
Dancing would lead to more kissing. And more kissing would lead to more of everything that could unravel this coil of desire inside of her.
“No.” He grasped her ass and pressed against her, so she could feel the full force of his erection. Instantly, the space between her legs warmed with longing. “Make no mistake,” he growled, “I want you. Saints help me, though, I won’t do anything more tonight. You deserve better.”
His features softened as they stared at one another. He swallowed visibly. “Let me take you to dinner. Let me walk with you in a park. You deserve a date.”
Audrey blinked. What was Kieran saying? Right then, she wanted the opposite of dinner and a park. There was a hot, ready part of her that wanted to tumble into bed and fuck, for crying out loud. She placed her hands on his broad shoulders, in part to steady herself as the memory of Kieran inside her, their naked bodies joined together, came roaring back.
For so long, she never thought she’d be this close to him again. Now that she was, she wasn’t about to force him to court her when they both knew that wasn’t Kieran’s MO. He didn’t owe her anything, and she didn’t want his penance.
“No,” she said, lowering her hands from his shoulders to his thick biceps, sliding her fingers teasingly to his hands. His skin was hot. She could practically feel the warm blood just underneath the surface. She laced her fingers with his. “You and I are not about dinner. We are not about parks. We are about something else entirely.”
She licked her lips, where the taste of him still lingered. His eyes followed the motion of her tongue. He was wound so tight she wondered that his muscles weren’t cramping. “I don’t want to date you, Kieran.”
She let the words hang there, her heart thumping. His expression didn’t change, but his grip on her hands tightened. Something like pain flashed across his face, but then it was gone so quickly she wondered if she’d imagined it.
The seconds stretched out, and she wondered suddenly if she’d said something wrong. “All right,” he said finally, his eyes still on her mouth, “no dating. But I am going to teach you how to ride.”
Audrey arched a brow. “A motorcycle or something else?”
Kieran threw back his head and laughed, a rumble that was as true as it was deep. Her heart constricted. She loved how happy he sounded. He unlocked their hands and flat-palmed his way from her waist, up her rib cage, grazing the sides of her breasts before cupping her shoulders.
“I’ll teach you how to ride a motorcycle. Just like you wanted. Tomorrow. Sunday. Pick you up at noon.”
Audrey frowned. “What about tonight?”
“You don’t get to make all the rules, Tanner. Just some of them.”
Audrey exhaled with frustration. Her nerves were frayed from being this close to Kieran. She wanted a release, and dammit, he wasn’t going to give it to her.
He bent down and placed his lips gently on hers. She tried to ease her tongue into his mouth, to heat up whatever Kieran was trying to cool off between them, but Kieran resisted. Their breath mingled, and even this chaste kiss had Audrey seeing spots of color behind her closed eyes. After a moment, Kieran pulled away.
“I’ll leave you and Willa to your ladies’ night. Until tomorrow.” He tipped an imaginary hat toward her, and disappeared into the crowd. For a moment, Audrey stood there, dazed, until the sound of laughter brought her back to the here and now. It was Willa, giggling her head off as she watched Audrey stand there in shock.
Her face deepening to crimson, Audrey walked off the dance floor with as much dignity as she could muster. Dear God, everyone must have seen her with her tongue down Kieran’s throat. She lifted her chin like she didn’t care.
She just hoped the bar was dark enough so her flaming cheeks wouldn’t betray her real feelings. She was mortified.
Once seated, Audrey smoothed out her hair and skirt. Her outsides felt like they were in as much disarray as her insides.
“It looks like you pitched your idea and it was a productive business discussion,” Willa said, grinning.
Audrey groaned. “God, I didn’t even talk to him about the dealership. I totally spaced it.”
“Really? I’m so surprised, because you two looked so professional out there.”
Willa cracked up all over again, and Audrey looked for Dave, hoping for another asparagus beer. Unfortunately, he suddenly wasn’t as keen to wait on her.
Shocker.
She placed her forehead on the bar’s sleek wood. “Ugh, what have I done? I just made out with Kieran in front of the whole town.”
“Oh, screw it,” Willa said, rubbing her friend’s back. “Who cares what anyone thinks. Did you have a good time?”
Audrey straightened and faced Willa head-on. “That is the most fun I’ve had in five years.”
Willa hooted. “Well, there you go.”
“I wanted to keep having fun, if you know what I mean, but he left.”
Willa’s smile faltered. “Like, left left?”
“No. Nothing that dramatic. He said he’s going to pick me up tomorrow and teach me to ride a motorcycle.”
Willa’s grin widened. “You don’t say. That sounds downright respectable.”
“I just—for a second there, I wanted it to not be respectable tonight. You know?”
Before Willa could answer, Dave approached them and cleared away their empty glassware. “Need anything else?” he asked.
“Dave, I’m sorry about that,” Audrey said, her face reddening all over again. “I kind of have a past with that guy and—”
“It’s fine,” he interrupted, even though he didn’t sound like it was fine. “No big deal. Would you like another drink?”
“Probably just the check when you have a moment,” Willa said.
Without missing a beat, he slid the paper ticket across the bar, then walked away.
Turned out, he’d charged Audrey for both beers.
Willa eyed her friend sympathetically. “Okay, so you irritated Dave Englund a little bit. He’ll get over it. In the meantime, we have a big reason to celebrate.”
Audrey tilted her head. “We do?”
Willa raised her plastic cup. “Absolutely. I don’t know if you felt it, but it started sprinkling in the desert tonight.”
CHAPTER TWELVE
Audrey jogged to the track the next morning with the throaty sounds of birdcalls in the trees all around, and the first daffodils pushing their way up through the moist ground. The damp air refreshed her lungs, which were hot and dry, working overtime to keep up with her legs.
Every step she took, she could hear Kieran’s name on the pavement.
Kie-ran, Kie-ran—left foot, right foot, mile after mile. She was increasing her pace, trying to outrun herself, trying not to hear his name. But the sound of it was in her ears, in her mind, and on her lips.
No matter how fast she jogged, she could still feel his hands pulling her close on the dance floor. No matter how much she pumped her arms, she could feel his breath on her skin, and the rippled tension of his thick muscles underneath his shirt. She moved her legs faster still. Somewhere inside, Audrey was aware that she was trying to outrun not the way Kieran made her feel, but her own ridiculous response to him. It was as if he were a magnet clad in leather and clean cotton, and she was made of shreds of metal that clung to him anytime he came around. For heaven’s sake, he’d nearly had her taking off her clothes on the dance floor last night, and that was only from kissing.
She gritted her teeth, remembering how, five years ago, his lopsided smile had had her throwing back her duvet and inviting him into her bed. She’d been so trusting, so naïve. She’d thought it was love, when really it was just a steamy couple of weeks.
Well, she’d be darn sure she didn’t make the same mistake this time. She was smarter and wiser now
—and didn’t need a full-blown relationship to have some fun.
She wove though White Pine’s streets, which were quiet as families readied for Sunday service at the Lutheran church, and relived the moment Kieran had asked her for a date. His green eyes had stared into hers so earnestly she almost believed him.
A date. Like normal couples have.
She clenched her fists. If she was honest with herself, she wanted a date with Kieran. She longed for dinners, movies, even the stupid walks in the park Kieran had mentioned. A giant, Harley-Davidson-sized part of her yearned to do the things that regular folks did when they had feelings for each other.
But she knew that wasn’t Kieran Callaghan. That man did not date. Five years ago, she’d made the mistake of thinking he did, and it had nearly torn her heart apart. This time, she’d be more careful. No matter how vulnerable and raw he seemed, no matter how intrigued by him she became, she’d set her expectations accordingly, and not get disappointed when it was time for him to leave again.
Wouldn’t she?
Audrey wiped away sweat from her brow, wondering if she was truly capable of keeping her heart protected if her body was flinging itself headlong into pleasure. Her breath came in raspy gulps as she turned onto the last street before the track, her feet pounding the blacktop.
She pictured Willa’s cranberry juice from the night before, the happiness in her eyes as she announced she was pregnant, and felt a pang of longing. At some point, Audrey knew she wanted that, too. A husband. Kids. A family.
Kieran Callaghan was never going to give her those things. So why was she wasting her time with him? She should be out there looking for a man who would give her everything she wanted.
The only problem was, she wanted Kieran. She wanted his spicy scent all around her, wanted his warm breath in her ear whispering poetry while his strong body claimed hers.
It was Kieran or no one.