by Nicole Ellis
“You could buy a gift for him and drop it off,” Maura suggested.
“Yeah, but what about his siblings?” Inspiration struck. “I bet I could get my friends to buy gifts for them, kind of like a giving tree.”
Maura beamed. “That’s a great idea. I’m in. Just let me know what to buy.”
Sarah thought about it for a moment. “I’ll come up with a list and then pass it around to my friends next time I see them.” She felt as though a weight had been lifted from her chest. Unlike her friendship with Patrick or the house loan, giving Tommy and his siblings a merry Christmas was something she could influence.
The ringing phone woke Patrick from a nap on Sunday afternoon. He’d been up late the night before, working on the flooring in the upstairs bathroom, and he’d crashed after lunch. He fumbled for the phone, but only succeeded in knocking it to the floor where it bounced harmlessly off of the braided rag rug. When he finally managed to get ahold of the infernal device, he didn’t recognize the number and considered not answering. Whether it was due to a sleep-addled brain or what, he didn’t know, but he hit the green button to answer the call. Seconds later, he wished he’d let it go to voicemail.
“Are you playing some kind of game with Sarah?” a woman’s angry voice blared over the line.
Patrick winced and held the phone away from his ear. “What? Who is this?” Unless she’d guessed the name Sarah, by some coincidence, she seemed to know him.
“It’s Maura. Sarah Rigg’s friend.” She sighed dramatically. “Remember, you professed your love for another woman to me even before our first date was over?”
“Oh. Right. Hi, Maura.” He threw the sheet off of his legs and sat up in bed, rubbing his eyes to bring them into focus. “I still don’t know what you’re talking about though.”
“Why are you ignoring Sarah?” She sounded even more exasperated this time.
“I’m not,” he said automatically.
“Then why did she call me in tears this morning because you snubbed her at the Haven Shores Children’s Club dinner?” Maura demanded.
A lead balloon slammed into him and he was instantly awake. “I didn’t snub her. Or at least not on purpose. I saw her there with her date and I didn’t want to bother her.” At least that was what he’d told himself. In truth, it had hurt to see her there with the same man who’d come over to her house for dinner the day he’d brought the tile samples.
“C’mon, Patrick. You said you had feelings for her. How has it taken you this long to tell her?” Her voice grew louder and faster as she spoke.
“She has a boyfriend,” he protested. “What’s the point in telling her?” He had to admire Maura’s dedication to her friend. She was yelling at someone over the phone that she barely knew, on behalf of a perceived slight against her friend.
“No, she doesn’t.” Maura sighed again, as if exasperated. “Why do you think she has a boyfriend?”
His mind spun rapidly, and he stood, pacing the floor in front of the bedroom window. “She was at the event last night with some man. And I saw him go into her apartment with flowers a month ago.”
“Really,” Maura said, her tone implying he was an idiot. “Did she say this man was her boyfriend, or did you just assume?”
“Uh…” She had him there. Had all of this been a big misunderstanding? He stared at the bare branches of the gnarled tree outside of his bedroom window. “So if the man with the red hair isn’t her boyfriend, who is he?”
Her laugh echoed over the phone line. “Red hair? That’s got to be her older brother Adam. He owns the newspaper in Candle Beach.” She paused for a moment. “You know, she probably did invite him to the fundraiser last night. They’re pretty close.”
Her brother? He’d ruined any chance of dating Sarah because he’d mistakenly assumed that her brother was her boyfriend? It did make sense though – she hadn’t tried to hurry him out of her apartment when he’d brought her the samples and she’d never mentioned seeing someone else. Ice filled his veins.
“She hates me now, doesn’t she?” He paced the floor in his bedroom, the hardwood cold under his stockinged feet.
“Are you really that dense?” she said. “If she called me that upset because you didn’t talk to her at the event, she obviously has feelings for you.”
“Thanks.” He didn’t usually take to being called dense, but this time he deserved it. “Do you think she’d agree to see me?”
“I don’t know,” Maura said. “She’s pretty mad right now. You might want to give her a bit of time to cool off.”
“Did you tell her I have feelings for her?” He ran his fingers through his hair. This was becoming very middle-schoolish and he was starting to think he’d need to pass her a note via a friend like his students did.
“No. I promised you I wouldn’t tell her, and I keep my promises.” She cleared her throat. “Look, I’ve got to go, but I thought you should know how she feels. Do with the information what you wish.”
“Thanks.” The phone clicked off in his ear and he set it down on the bedside table. Sarah didn’t have a boyfriend. He’d spent the last month assuming she did and trying to stay away from her. And for what? He’d only managed to upset her and make things worse between the two of them. Should he go to her house? Would she even want to talk to him? He groaned. When did life become so complicated?
16
“What do you think about this for Kara for Christmas?” Sarah held up a pink shirt with a glittery unicorn on it. The fluorescent lights overhead hit the shirt, causing it to sparkle.
Adam raised his eyebrows and wrinkled his nose. “Does she like glitter?”
“What five-year-old girl doesn’t like glitter?” Sarah turned the shirt back toward herself to take another look at it. Yep. Her niece would flip out when she unwrapped it on Christmas.
He shook his head. “If you say so. I was thinking about getting her a toy. Every kid should get toys for Christmas.”
“Okay, but what are you going to get for Charlie?”
“Uh, a toy?”
Sarah laughed. “To the toy store.”
She picked up the two paper bags full of presents she’d found already for her family. Every year since she’d been home, she and Adam had gone Christmas shopping together and made a whole day of it. This year, they’d planned to go to the new sushi restaurant just outside the mall in Haven Shores. Her stomach grumbled just thinking about delicious salmon rolls.
“Let’s find something so we can get to lunch,” she said.
“Good plan. That pretzel shop we passed is making me hungry.” Adam quickened his pace in the direction of the toy store.
She grinned. When was Adam not hungry? She had to agree with him though. The aroma of freshly baked pretzels had made her even hungrier.
“What did you get Angel? Earrings? A necklace?” She walked double-time to keep up with him as he weaved his way through the crowd.
While she’d detoured into the body care products store to get the cherry almond lotion that their mom liked, Adam had disappeared into the jewelry store, so she hadn’t yet seen what he’d picked out for his girlfriend. She was pretty sure he hadn’t bought an engagement ring for Angel, although it wouldn’t surprise her if he popped the question sometime soon. She’d never seen her brother so happy as he was since he started dating Angel last winter.
“I found a silver heart pendant necklace with small diamonds on it.” He looked satisfied with himself as he paused in a corner of the toy store. “Want to see?”
“Of course.” She waited while he pulled out a plastic bag emblazoned with the name of the jewelers on it from a much larger bag of presents.
He removed a small white clamshell box and showed her the necklace inside. “I hope it’s okay.” His hands shook as he handed her the box.
She sucked in her breath as she pried open the lid. The diamond-accented pendant was sparkly and beautiful, the adult woman’s equivalent of a unicorn t-shirt. If someone gave her a gift like t
hat, she’d never take it off. “She’s going to love this.”
A look of relief spread across his freckled face. “Oh, good. I never know what to buy women. But this one caught my eye and the lady in the store seemed to think it was nice.”
“Well, you don’t have to worry about this one. There’s no way she won’t like it.” She handed it back to him and he carefully tucked it away in the bag. If only she had someone that cared about her as much as her brother obviously did for his girlfriend. She swallowed a lump in her throat. It was looking like she wasn’t going to have a chance for love like that anytime soon.
Adam seemed to notice her expression and his gaze drilled into her. “Okay, what’s going on with you?”
His concern was too much, and she couldn’t stop a tear from slipping out of her left eye. She tried to surreptitiously wipe it away, but he caught her movement. Behind them, the cash register cha-chinged and the line to pay stretched halfway to the back of the store.
“Are you crying?” His face was panic-stricken. “Did I say something wrong?”
“No.” She wiped away more wet tears as they slid down her cheeks. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m probably just getting hungry and tired.” Although everyone else in the toy store seemed focused on their gift lists, she was mortified to be practically bawling in the middle of the store.
He put his bags down and wrapped his arm around her shoulder. “I know you. This is more than hungry and tired. What’s wrong? Did someone do something to you?”
She shook her head, fighting back tears. “No.”
He somehow managed to pick up all of their bags full of gifts and guided her to a bench in a quieter, side area of the mall. She collapsed onto the hard wooden seat, grateful to be away from most of the shoppers.
“Thanks.” She took a deep breath. “Sorry. I don’t mean to ruin our shopping day.”
“You’re not ruining anything.” He regarded her with concern. “But I don’t think I’ve seen you cry like that since you were a little kid. Is it the house? Did the mortgage not go through?”
She shook her head. “No. When I called them yesterday, they finally had received everything and said it was good to go. I should be able to close on the house soon.”
“Then what is it? Is there anything I can do about it?” He stared at her in wide-eyed panic.
She rummaged through her purse and pulled out a Kleenex to dry her eyes. “There isn’t anything you can do about it. This is going to sound stupid, but it’s about a man that I kind of had a crush on.” Before he could say anything, she said, “I know, I know. It’s childish. But Patrick’s a great guy and I can’t help it. Unfortunately, we’re just not meant for each other.”
“He can’t be that great if he’s not interested in you.” He’d puffed up in the over-protective big brother way she’d seen when her high school romantic relationships hadn’t worked out.
“He was dating someone else when we met. And then he wasn’t. And he fixed me up with his friend, so I know he doesn’t have feelings for me.” She dabbed at her eyes. It all sounded so convoluted when she told him about her relationship with Patrick.
“But the blind date didn’t work out?” Adam asked, as if trying to figure out the timeline of events.
“No. The guy he set me up with wasn’t my type.”
“And this guy, Patrick, he's your type?”
“Yes.” She nodded miserably. “But if he set me up with his friend while he himself was single, he’s not into me, right?”
Adam shrugged. “I can’t answer that. I can tell you that we men, including myself, can’t always express ourselves in the right way. Maybe he was scared that you wouldn’t reciprocate his feelings, so he pushed you in the direction of his friend. Or maybe he just sees you as a friend. I don’t know.”
She slumped against the back of the bench. “So I’m stuck pining over him forever?”
He smiled at her. “Why don’t you tell him how you feel and find out how he feels? That’s the only way you’re going to find out what he truly wants.”
“I don’t know. That sounds like a good way for me to get hurt.” She stared out at all of the happy shoppers. A little kid walked by holding his mother’s hand, pointing at items in the toy store window to add to his Santa wish list. The child’s father walked up to them, winking at the mother and pointing first at the bag he held, then at the child. They shared a conspiratorial grin over the bag that probably held the child’s Christmas gift.
Her stomach twisted. She wanted that kind of private moment and sense of companionship for herself. She wanted her own little family. And she wanted a chance to have that with Patrick. But to find out if there was any possibility of that for the two of them, she needed to put herself out there.
“You there?” Adam peered at her anxiously.
“Yeah.” She lifted her head and met his gaze. “I think you’re right though. If I don’t tell him, I’ll never know.” How she was going to tell Patrick how she felt, she didn’t know. But she couldn’t continue to feel this miserable – it was ruining her favorite time of year.
“Good.” He stood from the bench. Apparently, to him, the matter was settled. “Now, let’s get back to toy shopping. There’s a Nerf gun in there that I want to try out for Charlie.”
“You just want to try it out for yourself,” she teased. Making the decision to talk to Patrick had lifted a weight off of her chest and she now felt ready to have fun on their annual brother-sister Christmas shopping day.
“Maybe?” He laughed and grabbed her free hand, dragging her into the shop with him. She allowed him to pull her over to the Nerf gun section and soon found herself shooting foam bullets at a target the store had set up along the back wall. Her love life may be in a shambles, but at least she had her family. Spending the day with her brother had turned out to be exactly what she needed.
17
Maggie’s event setup crew had outdone themselves decorating the Sorensen Farm for Gretchen and Parker’s wedding. In the spirit of a winter wedding, red and white bows had been tied to the trees on the property. One of the larger trees had been decked out in multicolored lights with a star on top.
Sarah exited her car and shivered in her ankle-length green dress. The doors to the barn weren’t too far away, but she threw on her wool peacoat anyway. Better to be safe than sorry in case she decided to go outside during the event. Adam and Angel had offered to drive with her to the wedding, but she’d opted to go by herself. Then she could leave whenever she wanted to and not have to wait for them.
“Sarah!” a woman cried out from behind her. She turned to see Charlotte running toward her in a red satin bridesmaid dress. Her hair was perfectly coiffed, and her face flushed.
Charlotte bounced up to her, grinning. “Isn’t this exciting? I love weddings.”
Sarah couldn’t help but smile at her friend’s enthusiasm. “It looks like it’ll be a beautiful wedding.” She glanced up at the sky. “The weather forecaster said it might even snow tonight.”
Charlotte looked up as well. “Wouldn’t that be lovely? I bet they’d get some great pictures.”
“Aren’t you cold?” Sarah asked, hugging her coat to her chest.
Charlotte shrugged. “A little.” She motioned to the farmhouse. “We’re all getting ready in there. Do you want to come hang out with us?”
“Uh…” She looked at the house. “I’m not in the wedding party, do you think Gretchen would want me there? I don’t want to make it overcrowded.”
“Nonsense.” Charlotte tugged at her hand. “C’mon.”
Sarah followed her back to the house and into the warmth of the farmhouse’s kitchen. She removed her jacket and Charlotte gestured for her to follow her down the hall to the room Maggie and Jake had left available for wedding parties as a bride’s room.
When they entered, everyone was dressed and buzzing with excitement. Gretchen’s other bridesmaids, Maggie and Dahlia, wore the same red gowns as Charlotte. Angel had a bo
bby pin in her mouth and was standing on a stool trying to artfully pin a curl to the side of Maggie’s head.
“Hey, Sarah. I’m so happy you were able to make it.” Gretchen tottered over to them in a floor-length satin gown with a train that trailed behind her.
Sarah leaned in to hug her. “You look gorgeous.”
“Thank you,” she said happily as she smoothed her hands over her dress. “I’m not usually one for wearing fancy clothes, but I love this dress.” She checked her reflection in the mirror. “There’s something about having beads on a dress that make it that much more special.”
Sarah smiled. “I love the beading on the bodice.” She pointed at Gretchen’s feet. “And you have Cinderella shoes too.”
Gretchen lifted up a foot to show off her faux clear glass slippers. “I know. I found these online and couldn’t resist.” She laughed. “If I’m going to look like a princess for the day, I might as well go all out.”
Maggie tapped her watch. “Hey, girls. We’ve got to get finished up here. We’re supposed to be on in twenty minutes.”
“Oops, Maggie’s right. I’d better finish up my makeup.” Gretchen hugged Sarah again. “I’ll see you at the reception.”
“I’d better go find a seat,” Sarah said.
“I’ll come with you,” Angel said. “Adam was supposed to save seats for us both, but I never know if he’ll get to talking with someone and forget.”
They exchanged knowing looks. Adam wasn’t perfect, but he was a great brother and Sarah was happy to know that he’d found his perfect match in Angel. Before she’d come to town, Adam had been happy enough, but Angel brought something wonderful out in him, like he’d been waiting for her to come to Candle Beach to complete his life.
Tears sprang to her eyes – partly out of happiness for her brother but also because she didn’t know if she’d ever find for herself what he and Angel had. For her, love always seemed just out of reach. She straightened her spine and resolved that the very next time she saw Patrick, she’d tell him how she felt. If he didn’t reciprocate her feelings, so be it. At least she’d have tried.