Hope she heard the last part.
Chapter 34
The forest stretched on for miles, but the library … not so much. The walls were closing in. Joy had to get out of there. Too bad Ginny wasn’t the teacher today. Joy wasn’t sure about Tammy yet. Three weeks at Diamond Estates, and Joy still hadn’t had enough time with her to know which buttons to push to help her get her way. With Tammy being deaf, it was a bit more difficult to read her.
Joy approached the desk and put her workbook down in front of Tammy. “I finished everything I’m supposed to get done for the whole week, and it’s only Wednesday. I’d really love some fresh air. What would it take to get some time out on Buttercup? I mean, am I allowed to go by myself, or how does that work?”
Tammy reached for Joy’s schoolwork and flipped through the pages. She raised her gaze and enunciated carefully. “Nice job on this. Sure, you can definitely go for a ride. But not alone. You’ll either need to find a riding buddy whose schoolwork is far enough ahead, like you, or I can find one for you. I’m sure there are plenty of girls in this room who would jump at the chance to get out on the mountain.”
Joy turned around and looked at the twenty-eight girls scribbling in their workbooks, taking tests, or reading a book. Yep. They definitely would prefer it. But Joy wouldn’t choose to spend the next couple of hours with most of them. “How about Paige? I know she’s worked way ahead.”
Tammy laughed. “No, no. Paige is terrified of horses. She’d rather be in school.”
Oh right. How had Joy forgotten?
“I think Savvy is your best choice. She loves to ride.”
Joy took a deep breath. But would Savvy want to go off with Joy? She still seemed odd at times. Like she didn’t quite trust Joy. “Okay. I’ll go ask her.”
Tammy nodded. “Go for it.”
Joy crept around the girls working at their tables and headed for the back where Savvy sat reading by the research section. She approached and dropped her voice to a whisper. “Hey, Sav. Up for a horseback ride? Tammy said we could go.”
Savvy dropped her book and raised her eyebrows. “Seriously?”
Joy nodded. “I know. I was shocked, too. Let’s go before she changes her mind.”
Tammy smiled and waved at both girls.
“I’m in.” Savvy jumped up and followed Joy out to the barn.
Buttercup pranced and snorted while Joy saddled her, like she sensed she was about to be freed.
Joy surveyed the barn. Smoke had damaged the far wall and melted the windowsill and frame. Thank goodness the horses hadn’t been hurt.
“That would’ve been awful. Wouldn’t it, girl?” Joy patted Buttercup’s neck.
“Okay.” Joy put her foot in the stirrup and swung her leg over. She turned to Savvy. “You ready?”
Savvy gave a nod from atop Jupiter. “Absolutely. Let’s go.” She pulled on the reins and turned Jupiter’s head to face out the barn door then clucked her tongue and flicked her reins. “Come on, boy.” He clomped toward the grazing field.
Buttercup followed Jupiter through the pasture and then beyond as they headed up the trail.
“I’m kind of surprised they let us hit the mountain without any supervision. That shock you?”
Savvy shook her head. “Not really. I mean, what we can do up here? Where we going to go? Are we going to take off on horseback?”
Sounded like a pretty good idea to Joy.
The sun sat high in the sky, beating warmth onto their heads though the air was brisk and cool. Perfect. The horses clumped along the trail. They needed no direction as they headed right up to the apex of the mountain. Joy planned to take the horses up as far as they could and then head back. Similar to the plans she had with …
Joy shuddered.
Savvy studied her. “What was that about?”
“Oh, being out here took me back to a tough memory for a moment. Thought I was over it … guess not.”
“You want to talk about it?”
Joy shrugged. “It’s nothing big, just involves me bringing my cousin on a hike. We got stuck in the snow, and it was my responsibility to get her back. We had lots of trouble.”
“Why was it your responsibility? Was she little?”
“Beatrice? No.” Joy glanced up at the sun. “She has Down syndrome, and she relies heavily on our help. I felt responsible for having her out there and not being able to care for her.”
“Wow. Yeah. I could see why that would be so upsetting. So how did you get out?”
Now that was a convenient skip over the prayer debacle. “Oh, the rescue guy showed up. We hopped on the back of his snowmobile, and he drove us out of there.”
“Oh. Well that wasn’t so bad then.”
“Well, after about six hours of freezing in the snow, and low to no visibility due to the blizzard …” Joy chuckled.
“Oh yeah, never mind. That sounds pretty tragic.”
Silas was nowhere to be seen. Maybe he didn’t like horses, or maybe he trusted her to be alone with Savvy. Whatever the reason, it felt free. Even for just a few minutes. Maybe she could open up to Savvy a little bit. A very little bit.
“A whole mess of things happened in those six hours. When we finally surfaced, I decided to start looking for a way out.” Joy shot a glance at Savvy.
“A way out of what?”
Should’ve known. No one would leave a statement like that hanging. “You know. A way out of my life. You were right about a lot of what you said about me. And I’m stuck.” The tears coursed down Joy’s cheek.
Wait a second. Had she said she is stuck? Present tense? Please say Savvy hadn’t caught that.
Savvy locked eyes with Joy. “What do you mean you’re stuck? Still?”
“Oh no. I misspoke. I just meant then. I wanted to be free from the hold on me, but couldn’t find a way. Until … well, you know … until I came here.” Don’t search for Silas. Just act natural.
Savvy shook her head. “Not buying it. It’s pretty clear what’s up.”
Should she fight the issue or drop it? Or admit to it. Joy had no idea what her best move was—she’d never had to live like this before. Her biggest worry in her past was making sure she was the life of the party. Everywhere she went. Now? Now her biggest worry was survival.
Sigh. “I mean, I can’t get out. Every time I try, something really bad happens, and I’m afraid I’ll be stuck forever.”
Savvy nodded. “And … the fire?”
Joy shrugged. “I mean, I can’t be sure, but it sure looked like it and you know what? That fire started just a couple of hours after I said a simple little prayer.” Six words of fateful surrender. “Went to sleep and woke up to the fire. See what I’m saying? I’m so afraid that if I keep pressing forward something really, really horrible is going to happen. They’re testing me to find out how far I can be pushed, and the stakes get higher and higher.”
“Who’s testing you? Who are they?”
“I wish I knew.”
Savvy shivered. “I don’t know. I think this is too much for us to handle. You need to be honest with Ben.”
“Look. I opened up to you in confidence. You can’t say anything about this. People’s lives could be at stake. My life could be at stake. Just pretend we didn’t have this conversation.”
Savvy remained silent.
“Please. Please promise me.” Joy sounded a little desperate, even to herself.
“Just think about what I said. Some things look impossible to us until you ask someone else to come in and take over.”
No way. “Just trust me. Promise me. Please.”
Savvy slowly nodded. “I promise.”
“Ben wants to see you in his office.” Paige slapped a yellow sticky note on Joy’s bedrail as she sailed through the room toward the bathroom.
Huh? What did he want to see her for unless … Savvy? She couldn’t have. She’d promised.
Joy stood up and planted herself right in Savvy’s line of sight. Joy stared and waited
. “Did you tell Ben what we talked about?”
Savvy shrugged. “My mom always said, ‘Savannah, there are some promises you just can’t keep.’”
How could she do that? Savvy had no idea the level of trouble she may have just unleashed on this place. Would she have done it if she had understood? Maybe Joy should have explained better. She’d been willing to carry it all on herself, without help, so the others wouldn’t be put at risk. But now … Ben would force her to open up. And what Ben wanted, Ben seemed to get.
Joy headed down to the office, rehearsing what she could say. This was not going to be pretty. She approached the door and heard voices inside. Peeking from around the corner, hoping no one would see, she saw the sleeve of Ben’s dress shirt. Mark stood at the window, his back to the door. Ginny and Alicia sat in the guest chairs, and Tammy slumped on the floor, leaning on the wall.
Oh great. Another intervention. She was toast. They all were.
There stood the front door before her. She could just leave. Who would stop her? Just walk right out and save them all from paying the price for her own mistakes. She lifted her foot, ready to bolt.
“Joy, is that you?” Ginny leaned out the doorway and turned her head to find Joy standing poised to flee. Not that Ginny needed to know that.
Joy breezed into the office and sat in the only empty chair. “What’s up? Paige said you wanted to see me? You planning my birthday party? It’s not until April, you know.” Not a care in the world.
Ben leaned forward and stared at her face. “We’re going to lay it all out on the table right here and now. I want a straight answer. Are you still connected to the occult? Do you still feel connected to demonic, paranormal activity?”
Moment of truth? Or lie?
Joy’s insides churned over the decision. If she told the truth, they’d help her, but then … who knew what? If she lied, they’d leave her alone and everyone would be safe, but she’d be stuck forever.
Joy shifted her shoulders back and raised her chin. Might as well look confident. “What? No. Not at all. I’m totally good. At peace with where I’m at. I mean, I have some growing to do, but I’m on my way.” Perfect.
Silas stood tall and proud beside her. His nose lifted in the air as if in victory. Joy imagined him howling to his wolf pack, letting them know his latest conquest lay bleeding in the snow, waiting to be ravaged by the pack.
“Well, Savvy told me that you’re still struggling with some things, and that you have fears.”
“Hmm. I wouldn’t exactly say fears. More like memories. They bug me sometimes. You know, it’s hard to let go of the past sometimes.”
He stared. “How has your time here helped you?”
“I’m really glad I came here because it gave me the opportunity to get away from everything associated with my problems.” Joy shot a look at Ginny and lifted one shoulder. Come on, help a girl out.
Ginny nodded. “She is doing well. She’s studying and learning. She’s an active participant in our counseling sessions and has shown a lot of growth. She takes part in prayer and, well, you know, it’s going well even though a lot has happened since she got here. But Joy has really taken it all like a trooper.”
Joy kept her mouth shut. It was one of those times when talking could only bury her deeper.
“Speaking of that. How did you feel after the fire? Being ripped out of your room in the back house and shoved in with everyone else?” Ben tapped a pen on the desk as he stared.
Ah. Her chance to totally change the subject. “Can I be completely honest?”
Ben nodded. “Yes. Please do.”
“Well, I think it’s much better in here. I was kind of depressed out there. It felt too isolated. Like I wasn’t good enough to be with everyone else. I get why you wanted us to start off out there, but I think it might have been counterproductive.”
Ben’s eyebrows shot up.
Mark raised a hand. “If I may?”
Ben turned to him and nodded. “Do you have something to add, Mark?”
“Yeah. Ginny and I feel the same way. We think it felt like a punishment or a leper colony. That maybe we should consider turning it into a rec center when it’s rebuilt.”
“Hmm.” Ben looked up at the ceiling. “That is excellent feedback from you both. Thanks so much for sharing that. We’ll have to start some dedicated praying about that decision then.”
Joy nodded. She was almost home free.
“So you’re good then?”
“I’m good.”
Ben leaned back in his chair, his hands clasped behind his head like he did when deep in thought. He’d never doubt her. Or maybe he would. Maybe, more than anything, he wanted to believe that all was well. If so, she’d just handed him the lie he sought.
Ben dropped his hands and leaned forward as far as he could across his desk. “Then Joy, you won’t mind answering a simple question. Will you?”
“No, course not.” Don’t look for Silas.
“Who is Jesus Christ?” Ben narrowed his gaze and trained his eyes on Joy’s face.
“He’s the Son of God.” That was easy. Even Satan knew that and said it in the Bible. Joy ran no risk of trouble with a factual answer like that. She’d be out of there in five minutes, max.
“Okay, good. One more question, and then we’re through.”
Joy took a deep breath.
“Who is Jesus Christ to you?”
Chapter 35
Well, that was it. Joy was dead. Silas would never stand for a real answer to this question, and Ben couldn’t handle either the truth or a lie. And Jesus, Himself? Yeah, Joy couldn’t lie about where she stood with Him directly. She was toast. Period.
“Ben. I’m so sorry to interrupt.” Ginny held up her cell phone and scrolled up. “I’ve had my ringer off, and now I’m getting a 911 text. You should see this.” She stretched her arm across the desk and bit her lip.
Ooh. Saved by the bell. So to speak. 911? She wouldn’t even need to come up with an answer at all.
Ben frowned and accepted the phone. He held it at arm’s distance and squinted at it. His frown deepened. He rubbed his temples then looked at Ginny and shook his head.
Ginny nodded.
Sorry for the poor sucker who was getting bad news, but she was free and clear for today at least.
Ginny exhaled and closed her eyes. Her lips moved ever so slightly.
Something was definitely up. It was Joy’s chance. “You guys need me to leave?”
“No.” Ginny looked at Ben. He nodded his encouragement and stood up. He moved to the front of his desk and perched on the corner.
Ginny took Joy’s hand. “Sweetie, this is about you.”
“About me? That text is about me?” Joy’s eyes roved from Ginny to Ben.
Mark stood up. “Should the rest of us leave?”
Ben nodded. “Probably best.” He held the phone for Mark to see.
Mark read it, nodded, then ushered Alicia and Tammy from the room.
Joy’s heart thundered. The sound of rushing water filled her ears. Somebody had better spill it in a hurry, or she was grabbing that phone herself.
Ginny took a deep breath and knelt in front of Joy. She grabbed Joy’s other hand and squeezed them. “Sweetie, your grandpa had a heart attack and … well, it doesn’t look real good for him.”
Air whooshed from Joy’s lungs. She put her face in her hands. What if he died? Joy would never forgive herself.
Wait a second. He was an old man. The voice on Joy’s other shoulder spoke reason. She didn’t need to claim the guilt for this. Did she?
Guilty or innocent, Joy couldn’t lose her grandpa. No way.
Ginny waited until Joy looked up. “I’m going to call your mom back so you can talk to her.” She held her phone to her ear and waited. And waited.
No answer? How could Mom not answer at a time like that? Joy’s brain screamed. Just make it stop. The pain. The fear. The loss. Not Grandpa! Not him. She needed him there to go home to. He wa
s her rock. He loved her like … well, it was the unconditional love she’d always heard about. She’s seen it personified in her grandpa.
Please don’t take him. Please.
Ginny lifted from the floor and sat on the edge of the seat beside Joy. She gripped one of Joy’s hands. “It’s okay. Just give her a second. Maybe they’re talking to the doctors or something.”
Joy nodded. Please. Please let him be okay. It was the closest to praying she could manage. But it was a prayer. Did God hear her?
Ginny’s phone went off. Finally. Was probably only two minutes, but those two minutes stretched on for a lifetime.
“Hi. I have Joy here for you.” She looked away as she listened. “Yeah, I’ll let you …” Ginny reached the phone out to Joy. “Here you go, sweetie. It’s your mom.”
“Mom? Are you there?” Joy scooted forward and gripped the phone with one hand and the arm of the chair with the other.
“Hi, baby. Listen to me. Everything’s going to be all right.” Mom gulped. “I want you to believe that.”
Her voice. It … it was so … warm. Joy collapsed into the chair. “Tell me. How is he?”
Mom drew in a deep breath. “Sweetheart, Grandpa passed a few minutes ago.”
Joy dissolved. Her body crumpled, and the tears poured from her eyes. She tried to speak into the phone, but couldn’t croak out the words. She handed it to Ginny. This couldn’t be happening.
“Mrs. Christianson?” Ginny spoke into the cell. “She’ll be okay. Why don’t you let me calm her down, and we’ll call you back in a few minutes? Okay?”
Calm her down? How exactly did Ginny plan to do that?
Ginny put her arms around Joy and pulled her in. “It’s okay, love. It’s okay. Your gramps was a believer, right?”
Joy nodded. Was he ever. She took a shuddering breath and wiped her eyes. “I need to talk to my mom. Can we call her back now?”
“Of course. I need to get info to Ben about getting you home for the funeral, too. Maybe you could ask your mom about that so we can start making arrangements.”
Joy gasped. “You mean I can do that? I can go home for the funeral?”
THE SHADOWED ONYX: A DIAMOND ESTATES NOVEL Page 24