I gripped the steering wheel, breathing in slow like my Gramps had taught me.
At the time, I thought Harvey was invincible...but he wasn’t.
I closed my eyes, trying to ignore the images screaming through my brain...that hollow look in his eyes, the panic coursing through us all as we tried to deny he was dead.
My anger had come back thick and fast after his funeral...until Gramps got a hold of me.
I’d been doing really well since then, not letting the anger and fear take me. I’d learned to be a lone wolf, not make any close connections that could damage me later, but then I’d fallen for Caity.
She’d never let me down, yet still I held back. I was just waiting for the day when she turned to me and told me it was over, that I wasn’t worth sticking around for. After my behavior that morning, I’d probably bumped that date a little closer.
I thumped the wheel and sped toward home, needing the water, the solitude, the waves beneath me.
I didn’t want her to be right about Connor...or the professor. I just wanted the people in my life to be good. Was that too much to ask?
Swerving onto my street, I pulled into my driveway and braked hard. Glancing over the fence, I gazed at Caity’s front lawn, picturing her standing there as she waited for her friends to collect her. She’d captured me the first time I spotted her, but I’d resisted. For months, I’d held off talking to her until that one day on the beach where she looked so pale I thought she was gonna pass out. I let myself go that day, let her in and it’d been awesome.
Sweet Caity with those all-seeing eyes.
Eyes I’d always marveled at. Eyes that could see things I didn’t want to know about.
With a heavy sigh, I rested my forehead on the steering wheel.
She called me Hercules when we first got together. I was the guy who was supposed to protect her and what was I doing? Cutting her off, stalking away and going to hide out at the beach so she couldn’t find me.
If I wasn’t careful, I’d turn into my father.
With a loud expletive, I sat back and started up the engine.
Surfing could wait.
I had some damage control to attend to.
8
Caitlyn
Dumping my books on the outdoor picnic table, I decided to study in the sun, hoping it would improve my mood. My entire being was in turmoil. Conflict of any kind drove me nuts. Conflict with Eric was almost more than I could handle. I was too upset to even feel angry. Well, no, that wasn’t true. I was angry and worried. Eric was being a stubborn ass, which was so unlike him. Something was holding him back when it came to Connor. What was he hiding from me?
I blinked at tears, feeling like a fool. I didn’t want to assume Eric was hiding anything from me, but...
Sitting down with a huff, I rubbed my stinging eyes. We hardly ever fought. We’d had the odd little spat, but it’d usually been resolved quickly. I was quick to apologize, hating any kind of conflict. But how was I supposed to apologize for what I’d seen? I couldn’t help that!
Was I just supposed to ignore it? Pretend that Connor’s drug problem wasn’t a big deal?
I was still totally perplexed that he genuinely seemed unaware of the fact that he was high at the game. I didn’t get it. How could someone not know?
Flicking open my binder, I squinted down at the notes in front of me. My messy scribble blurred as my brain kept whirring with problems, but then a male voice caught my attention.
“Hey, ladies. My name’s Detective Sullivan. I’m with the LAPD and I’m trying to find out some information on this man. Do you know him?”
I glanced across the grassy area at a broad-set man in a charcoal suit holding up a passport-sized photo to the table of girls in front of me. I could only see the side of his face, but he looked to be in his mid-to-late thirties, maybe. His cheeks had a boyish roundness to them, but it was offset with dark stubble. His dark-brown hair was short at the sides with a messy spike thing going on at the top. I could tell the girls thought he was pretty cute.
I looked away, not wanting to read faces and get caught up, but curiosity had my gaze traveling back to the detective in minutes. I wondered who he was looking for.
He glanced my way, his eyes narrowing before thanking the girls and moving toward me.
His stride was casual. He looked like he’d been doing the job for a while. He approached me with a closed-mouth smile and I whipped off his mask before he could say anything.
Tired. That was my first impression.
And maybe disillusioned. He’d been doing the gig for too long. I wondered what he did for the LAPD.
“Hi.” He held out his hand when he reached my table. “Detective Sullivan with the LAPD.”
“Caitlyn Davis.” I shook his hand. “What kind of detective are you?”
“Homicide.” He flicked back his jacket and took a seat opposite me. Resting his forearms on the table, he eyed me intently. “I’m looking for information on this man. He used to be a student here.”
I stared at the photo of the sharp-faced guy with messy blonde hair and steely blue eyes that could cut me to pieces. I took the photo with shaky fingers.
“Mason Donovan,” I whispered.
“You know him?”
“Not very well,” I croaked and curled the fingers of my free hand together, resisting the urge to touch my throat the way I did whenever Mason entered my mind.
“But you recognize his photo.”
“I went to high school with his brother.”
“Liam.” The man pressed his lips together, accentuating his chin dimple. “Did you hear the news about Liam?”
“Yes.” I kept my eyes on his face, working up the courage to ask.
Although the detective seemed tired and slightly over his job, he looked like a good man, so I went for it.
“Do you think he was murdered?”
Detective Sullivan’s eyebrows rose. “What makes you say that?”
“You’re a homicide detective.” I tipped my head.
He nodded, letting out a soft chuckle. “We’re still trying to work out what happened to Mr. Donovan. At this stage, it’s unclear and I’m just covering all my bases. Finding his missing brother might help me put the pieces together.”
I nodded, seeing that it was the last thing he felt like doing. He would have closed the case off already, but someone was making him dot every “i” and cross every “t”. He was not impressed.
“Did you know Liam very well?”
“We were friends...sort of. We hung out with the same crowd, but I haven’t seen him since he left.”
“So, no contact since he suddenly disappeared from Pali High?”
“None.”
“What about his brother? Did you have many interactions with him?”
I shook my head, unsure why I wasn’t launching into the fact he tried to kill me. “I haven’t seen him. I thought they’d be long gone...on a beach in Mexico somewhere.” I chuckled.
Detective Sullivan’s eyes narrowed, his critical gaze searching my face. “So, you knew about the cheating ring then?”
His question surprised me. If he knew about the cheating ring, why didn’t he know about me? I was one of the people who helped uncover it all. The lazy look in his eye told me he’d merely skimmed the report. I was just another name on a sheet of paper and one he obviously hadn’t absorbed, because when I told him who I was, he hadn’t even flinched.
Rather than going into details, I kept my smile small and shrugged.
“By the end of the year, everyone at Pali knew about the cheating ring. We all had our theories on where the brothers had fled.” I bit the corner of my mouth. He was eyeing me carefully, trying to figure me out.
I met his gaze, wanting to prove my honesty. Although I’d piqued his interest slightly, he didn’t look like he could be bothered to delve into anything more. I peeled back another layer and saw a little deeper. He thought the assignment was crap — some teenage accident that didn’t really d
eserve the time of day.
“Was Liam high? Is that why he crashed?”
The detective flinched ever so slightly, his eyes narrowed again. “Why would you ask that?”
“I—I don’t know.” I actually meant that. I really didn’t know where that thinking came from. Maybe it was because Connor’s dilemma was on my mind, I wasn’t sure, but once it was out, I really wanted to know.
The detective kept his eyes on me. I could see his mind working through the idea.
“He was, wasn’t he? It would have shown up on his toxicology report.”
A small smile glimmered in the back of his eyes. For some reason, that statement impressed him.
“There were no illegal substances found in his body, if that’s what you’re asking,” he muttered, slightly distracted.
My question bothered him. I could see a look of intrigue working across his features. Clearing his throat, he sat forward in his seat and pulled a business card from the back pocket of his trousers.
“If you think of anything else, I want you to give me a call, okay? Any information on either brother will be useful at this time.”
I pinched the card between my thumb and forefinger and nodded.
He stood from the table, still watching me as if he was trying to figure me out.
“Nice to meet you, Caitlyn.”
“You too, Detective.”
As he walked away, I gazed down at the simple white card. Maybe I should have told him about Liam’s big confession...about killing that man in Burbank, but I didn’t feel like it was prevalent to that particular case. I toyed with the idea of rushing after the detective to let him know, but a gorgeous guy with an apologetic look on his face was striding toward me.
Quickly shoving the card into my back pocket, I watched Eric approach. I wanted to read him, but my promise to him always stopped me. I looked down so I could avoid the temptation.
“Hey.” He slid onto the seat opposite me, taking the detective’s vacated place.
“Hey.” I glanced up with a closed-mouth smile.
“I’m a jerk.” He winced.
“Nope.” I smiled. I was about to say ‘you’re scared’, but he looked so vulnerable anyway, I just couldn’t do it.
Part of me wanted to open up and tell him what I was trying to say earlier that morning, but a bigger part made me press my lips together. Why should Eric have to pay the price for my power?
I hated that he didn’t want to know, but shouldn’t I respect his wishes? If I wanted to look further into it, then that was my decision. I could do it on my own. I didn’t need Hercules to back me up. If he didn’t want to be involved, then I had to respect that.
I glanced over my shoulder and noticed the departing detective was no longer in sight. Sliding my hand across the table, I made the decision to keep my little convo with Mr. Homicide private, as well. Eric was there to make up, and the last thing I wanted to do was open up a serious conversation about Liam and Mason Donovan.
Eric captured my fingers. “I’m sorry for not listening this morning. I’m sorry for being weird over the Connor thing, I just...” He held his breath and then released it with a slow sigh. “I really want you to be wrong.”
“I know. I want to be wrong, too.”
“So, maybe you could come with me to tomorrow night’s game, as well...just to check again, you know.”
The request bugged me. It was total confirmation that Eric thought I was seeing things. Why wouldn’t he trust me?
But because I hated conflict more than anything, I pressed my lips together and gave him a little nod.
“Thank you,” he mouthed, bringing my hand to his lips and placing a sweet kiss on my wrist.
I smiled at him and he met my gaze with a grin of his own.
In that moment, everything between Eric and I was good. In that moment...
I wanted them to stay that way forever, but I had a sinking feeling that things were not going to be that simple.
9
Caitlyn
I walked back to my room later that day feeling edgy and agitated...yet again. The year was so not turning out how I thought it would. I gripped the strap of my bag, wondering what to do with my evening. Eric was off surfing and for the first time ever, I didn’t want to join him.
That felt weird...insane. How could I not want to watch my super-hot boyfriend carving up the waves?
I bit the inside of my cheek.
Because my super-hot boyfriend didn’t believe what I’d seen. In fact, he was forcing me to watch another basketball game just to prove he was right. Well, not forcing me, but because of my serious cowardice I was going.
Man, I pissed myself off sometimes.
Why did I always have to be so damned chicken? Why didn’t I just blurt out my suspicions about Connor and how I thought he was clueless to the drugs? Why did I always shy away from conflict?
When I’d been dealing with the whole Liam thing, I’d been ballsy. I’d saved the freaking day. But that was when my life had been on the line. Now that everything was safe again, I’d slipped back into my old habits...running from any type of friction I could.
I needed to get over myself and start standing up for my ability.
If Connor was in trouble, Eric would be all over that. I had to tell him. I guessed going to one more game was probably a good thing. I’d confirm what I saw last time and then Eric and I could have a proper chat. Even if things turned sour, I couldn’t step away. What if I’d just ignored Indie and her problems with Liam? I shuddered to think where that poor girl would have ended up if Micah, Libby and I hadn’t stepped in when we did.
When I thought about that, I was grateful for my gift, but when it got in the way of my relationship…I despised it with a passion.
Why? Why did that homeless guy pick me?
I hated the way my emotions went back and forth, but that was the curse of the gift...even though I’d finally accepted it, I hadn’t accepted all the consequences it came with.
I snorted out a breath as I trudged up to the third floor of my building, keeping my eyes on the stairs. I didn’t want to look at faces. It only got me in trouble.
Snippets of future conversations popped into my head as I imagined how I would broach the subject with Eric.
Hey, so you know how I told you your stepbrother was high? Yeah, I was right about that, but the thing is—
And then he’d no doubt cut me off, asking if I was sure. It made me see red…and I didn’t see red very often.
Was I sure? Yes! I was damn sure!
I had no idea why he was being so edgy over it all. Before this incident, I would have rated him the perfect boyfriend... he was sweet, attentive, respectful (usually), he made me laugh, feel safe...he was an amazing kisser. If someone had asked me, I would have said we were meant to be together forever, but right then I couldn’t help a few doubts. His reaction to this whole drug thing was over the top, and I had to consider the fact that there was more to it than Eric’s childhood insecurities. He’d been let down in the past by multiple people, his father to say the least, but even so, his reaction to this seemed laced with an undue intensity. Maybe something had happened in his past to make him overly sensitive. There had to be a reason why he was so willing to stand up for a guy he hardly ever saw over his girlfriend of eight months.
Unless...he was just over me.
The idea sent a spike of pain straight through my soul. I clutched the handle of my dorm room door and sniffed in a breath. Squeezing my eyes shut, I tried to ward the idea away, but it was there now. The seed had been planted, and I knew me well enough to know it would take major damage control to dig out that weed.
I pushed the door open, swallowing back the mounting tears. It helped that Piper was in the room. I gave her a half-smile and neatly hung my bag up where she liked me to put it. Extracting my phone and the detective’s business card from my back pocket, I laid them on my desk.
Detective Kyle Sullivan
Los Angeles
Police Department
Homicide Division
That was another worry on my shoulders. Was my relationship with Eric really that important when my life was potentially on the line? Who knew where Mason was? He could have been outside this building just waiting for me to venture out alone.
A shiver raced down my spine.
I did a little heebie-jeebies wiggle and glanced over my shoulder to make sure Piper hadn’t seen. Thankfully, she was busy packing up her bag.
With a swift zip, she closed her stylish brown purse and threw it onto her shoulder.
“See ya.” She moved toward the door.
“You forgot your phone.” I pointed to her desk.
“Oh, no, I don’t need it.”
I couldn’t help an incredulous look. That girl never went anywhere without her phone.
She snickered and rolled her eyes. “I’m going to a special study group and one of the rules is no phones.”
“Like none? Can’t you just turn them off?”
She shrugged. “Prof. Hoffman was pretty clear. No phones allowed.”
“Professor Hoffman?” I gripped the back of my wooden chair. “What kind of study group is this?”
“You know how at the beginning of the year he said he was keeping an eye out for students showing real potential?”
I nodded stiffly, my insides swirling with unease.
“Well, I picked up my assignment today and there was a note on it saying he wanted to see me after class.” She grinned, a little blush warming her cheeks. “He said I’m doing really well, and he’s selected me to join a special study group.”
“What kinds of things will you be studying?” I should have sounded more enthusiastic for her, but my body was wound too tight to speak in anything other than monotone.
“Different techniques on how to concentrate and focus better, delving a little further into the stuff he’s teaching us already. I think he’s kind of hand-picking candidates in the hopes of getting them to major in Psych and maybe do some post-grad stuff with him.”
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