by J. C. Staudt
“That may be just the mistake we needed you to make,” Chaz said. “Time to break out the Evelyns and let them do the hard work for us.”
“I’ll bet they can dig faster than we can,” I agreed.
“It’s not their strength I’m after,” Chaz said. “It’s their minds.”
“You sound like you’re about to say something smart. Continue.”
“The sensors, Mull. The automatons can adapt their weaponry to their targets because they’ve got such advanced sensor arrays. With a few tweaks, I’ll have them searching for targets of the metallic variety. They should be able to track the money based on its conductive properties.”
“What about all the driftmetal?” I said. “Won’t that interfere with their sensors?”
“If there’s as much gold as you say there is, they shouldn’t have a problem isolating it through a foot or two of loose earth.”
“Why didn’t you mention this earlier? We could’ve saved ourselves a day and a half.”
Chaz gave me a black look. “Because you said you knew where it was.”
“Ah. Right. Well, back to the boat then…”
By early afternoon, we were standing in my Ostelle’s cargo bay, watching the Evelyns gather dust.
“How are we going to get these things into the moorlands without half the city noticing them?” I said.
Chaz tapped his chin. “I failed to consider that.”
“Think we can get away with using one or two of them instead of all eighteen?” Sable suggested.
“It would be much slower going,” said Chaz, “but better than none at all. We still run the risk of causing a panic if anyone happens to notice one.”
“Then let’s make them less noticeable,” said Sable.
“How? Put clothes on them?”
“Yes,” she said. “That’s exactly what I was thinking.”
“You’re joking, right?”
“I’m dead serious.”
“These things are eight feet tall,” I said. “Do you know how to sew a costume for a giant?”
“No,” she said, “but I hear there’s someone on board who can. I think it’s about time I met her.”
I shook my head. “Oh, no. Please don’t get her involved in this.”
Sable gave me a cunning smile.
“Keep in mind that if you tell her a word about why we’re doing this, we’re going to have a whole lot of crewmen licking their lips,” I said.
“Don’t worry. I’ll be discreet.”
Five minutes later, Sable was introducing herself to my mom and guiding her into the cargo bay. Mom shuffled in, her pleasant smile morphing into a look of horror when she caught sight of the Evelyns.
“Dear heavens, Muller. What in the name of Leridote are these things?”
“They’re robots, Mom. What do you think?”
She backed away, averting her eyes. “I think they’re terrifying. I don’t like them.”
“Guess what. They’re alive. And I named them after you.”
“Don’t tell me that,” she shouted. “I want to go.”
“But I need you, Ma.”
“Nope. Nope, not for this.”
We had to lead her out of the cargo bay and calm her down before I could talk any sense into her. “Ma, listen. You don’t have to touch the robots, or see them, or even think about them. We just need your help making some really big clothes.”
“Clothes? What do you want to put clothes on them for? I’m going to be thinking about those big scary things the whole time.”
“Just pretend it’s for a really tall man.”
She took a deep breath. “Where am I going to get all that fabric?”
“There’s a city down the block,” I reminded her.
“Come on, Evelyn. We can go shopping together,” Sable suggested. “It’ll give us a chance to get to know one another. And talk about your son.” She winked at me.
This isn’t worth it, I almost said. Leave the chips in the ground and let’s forget the whole thing. “Chaz, I think we need to be realistic here. One robot will have to be enough.”
“We’ll make it work,” Chaz said.
“Great. So how long will it take you to make us an outfit, Ma?”
She blinked at me, bewildered. I saw the resistance drain out of her like water from a punctured jug. “Oh, alright… I’ll do it. A couple of days.”
“That’s my Ma,” I said, hugging her around the shoulder. “That’ll give Chaz time to tweak the sensors.”
“That won’t take me more than a couple of hours,” Chaz said.
“Stop bragging, Chaz.” I turned to Sable. “You two need someone to go with you?”
Sable raised an eyebrow. “We’ll be fine for a few hours without a man around, thank you very much.”
“Whoa… hostility,” I said. “I was going to send Eliza with you. Figured you’d be safer in a group of three, but never mind. Forget I asked.”
“Not that horrid woman,” Mom said. “She’s made a disaster area of my kitchen. Amateur.”
Sable’s eyes burned with an intense desire to defend Eliza’s cooking from my mother’s harsh criticism, but she kept quiet. I could tell it wasn’t easy.
“Eliza isn’t half bad, if you ask me, Ma,” I said.
She cocked her head and planted a hand on her hip. “Do you want my help or not?”
“I love you, Ma. A whole lot.”
“Then you’d better start being nice to me.”
“You’re the best cook who’s ever lived,” I said. “You have no reason to feel threatened.”
“Threatened? Heh.” Mom gave a haughty grunt and turned to go. On her way out, she took one last glance over her shoulder. “You named those things after me? All of them?”
“Yup.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. It’s fun ordering them around, I guess.” I gave her a toothy grin.
She responded with a leery frown, and left.
Two mornings later, I debarked my Ostelle and began a long stroll through the streets of Everwynd, accompanied by Sable, Chaz, Thorley, and a tall gentleman in loose-fitting brown trousers and a high-collared woolen overcoat, whose gigantic flat cap was slung so low over his eyes you might’ve thought he was making a conscious effort to go unnoticed. But Galvos Mark-Sevens had no built-in capacity for covertness, and the mechanical sounds he made when he walked worked against him in that regard. Chaz had mitigated the sounds to some degree by oiling the robot’s joints before we left. He still turned heads, to be sure, but a few lingering looks were the only attention he provoked.
As we walked the familiar streets of Everwynd, I began to think back to those hectic moments aboard the Galeskimmer, after I’d made a breakaway from Trudy’s warehouse and disposed of the two thugs who’d managed to climb aboard. I had released the clinkers and rocketed straight up into the sky, which meant that when I’d kicked those two men overboard, I’d been directly above that warehouse.
“I know how to find it,” I said.
“I thought that’s what the robot was for.”
“The robot will help. The key, though, is the warehouse. I flew from Trudy’s warehouse to bury the chips, then returned to the city to pick up Thomas. If we can find the warehouse, maybe I’ll remember more.”
“What did it look like?”
“Like a warehouse. Sal gave me directions to it, and I’m trying to remember what he said…” I fell in behind Evelyn Two and thought for a minute. “It was months ago now. I can’t remember.”
“Who’s this Sal guy?” Chaz wanted to know. “Can we ask him?”
I’d thought about catching up with Sal to see how he was getting along in the wake of his horrible plan to go straight, but I’d assumed there wouldn’t be time. For all I knew, everyone in Pyras was dead by now. I kept having visions of us landing in that lush green field, settling to rest in full view of the city’s perfect white marble skyline, only to find the grass brown and the buildings gray and the air
smelling of death. Time was all we had now, though; until we found those chips, this expedition was dead in the water due to lack of funding. I’ve heard sailors enjoy being paid. Also, I wasn’t about to face Gilfoyle and his henchpersons without a full complement of Chaz-built tech.
“Sure, let’s pay him a visit,” I said. “Hope he’s not too much of a bootlickin’ goody-goody to talk to me anymore.”
We left Thorley and Evelyn Two outside the local constabulary while we went in. I ripped a wanted poster off the bulletin board next to the entrance and showed it to Chaz. “Look how terrible I look.”
“I’ve seen this,” Chaz said. “I thought it was pretty close, actually.”
“Pretty close? Have you ever seen me before, Chaz? This drawing is total garbage.” I balled up the page in disgust and shoved it into my pocket.
“Can I help you folks?” asked the rotund constable seated behind the desk, who I decided I’d call Officer Friendly.
“Yeah, I’m looking for Detective Inspector Sal Dominic.”
“Just a moment.” He picked up a comm and dialed. “Yes, Detective Inspector? There are some folks here to see you. A mister…” he raised his eyebrows to prompt me.
“Nordstrom,” I said.
“Nordstrom,” he repeated. “Yes sir. I will, sir. Bye. Uh, he’ll be right out, Mr. Nordstrom.”
“Why thank you, Officer Friendly.”
He cocked his head, then smiled and resumed shuffling paperwork around his desk.
Sable gave me a punitive nudge. “Muller, what are you doing? Don’t be rude.”
“Please,” I whispered. “Call me Hal.”
She rolled her eyes.
Sal came into the lobby and embraced me as if we hadn’t spoken in years. “Mull, good to see you.”
“It’s Hal,” I whispered.
“Right. So what brings you to Everwynd, my friend?”
“Can’t stay long. Just wanted to say hello. Can we talk outside for a second?”
Sal glanced at Officer Friendly, who was still shuffling. “Sure.”
We stepped out into the bustling street, letting it envelope us in its noise.
“So what’s new with you, man?” I asked. “I won’t lie, you look better than I expected. Your situation didn’t look good last time I saw you.”
“Mull, you’ll never believe—”
“It’s Hal.”
“Sure. Hal. You fixed everything.”
I feigned momentary deafness. “Beg pardon?”
“Trudy’s guy Henderson really thought you were an undercover Civvy,” Sal said. “As soon as he told Trudy, she cut bait and ran. Thought the whole gravstone deal was some kind of double sting operation.”
“Where’d she go?”
Sal shrugged. “She didn’t tell me. Laying low for a while, I can only assume. I don’t think she’ll be back for a long time… if ever. And that whole kidnapping thing with the Baron of Kilori was genius. When he woke up and found me tied up with him in the hold, I promised I’d help him escape, just like we talked about. I staged this whole heroic rescue thing and got him home safe and sound.”
“So does that mean Trudy never paid you your finder’s fee for the gravstone deal?”
“Yeah, but I don’t care. The Baron gave me a commendation for valor in the line of duty. I got a promotion, a raise, and a special ceremony where they gave me a medal in front of the whole constabulary. My wife and kids were there to see it all.”
I laughed. “And you said crime doesn’t pay.”
“It doesn’t, Mull—uh, Hal. I’m lucky it all worked out the way it did. I won’t make the mistake of going crooked ever again. That life is behind me now.”
“You make me sick,” I said. “I’m happy for you, though.”
“Thanks. I’m glad to see you didn’t get locked up. Things have been crazy around here with everything going on in Roathea. Pretty ballsy showing your face in a police office.”
“Yeah, well, I have connections. Or… had. I kind of got my entire criminal record expunged.”
He drooped his eyelids. “You’re kidding me.”
“That’s not even the craziest part. I was in Roathea when the invasion happened.”
“No way. So you saw the giant robots Maclin used in the attack?”
“Uh… yeah,” I said, trying not to look at the giant stranger standing next to Thorley a few yards off. “Anyway, I don’t want to go into detail about that. It’s not something I’m ready to talk about. You think there’s any chance you could do me one last tiny favor? There’s no risk to you, and it’ll only take a second.”
Sal was wary. “Tell me what it is first.”
“All I need is the address of Trudy’s warehouse. The one where the deal went down.”
“What for? Muller, you’re scaring me.”
“You keep calling me that.”
“Sorry.”
“I need to retrace my steps from that night. I misplaced part of the money, and I’m trying to find it.”
“You mean part of the two million chips? How much did you misplace?”
“Like pretty much all of it.”
Sal’s eyes popped. “What?”
“Calm down. It’s fine. I’m gonna find it. I just need the address.”
“Where did you ‘misplace’ it?”
“Not important, Sal. The address. Please.”
“Fine.” He gave it to me.
You might be wondering why I didn’t tell Sal about my role in the invasion. It’s simple, really. He’s a Civ. My visit didn’t need to involve the complicated political and personal motivations that had driven me to lend my aid in the cause of worldwide upheaval. Plus, I didn’t want to piss him off and ruin my chances of getting the address.
“You have no idea how much you’ve helped,” I told him.
“That makes me feel like there’s something you’re not telling me,” he said.
“You know me better than I know myself, Sal-pal. Take care, will you?”
“You too, Hal. But if you get dragged back here in handcuffs, I don’t know a thing about it.”
“Fair enough. So long, buddy.” I gave him another hug and let him get back to catching bad guys.
“We on the right track now?” Thorley asked when we rejoined him. “I’m getting tired of all these funny looks people keep giving me.”
“Let them stare,” I said. “They’re just jealous because your boyfriend’s bigger than theirs.”
Thorley Colburn had no sense of humor. The bruise he left on my upper arm was decent supporting evidence of that.
We found the warehouse and headed straight into the vast moorlands beyond. With the benefit of a much clearer day this time and a clearer picture in my head, I was feeling good about our chances. It wasn’t even noon yet, which meant if we found the treasure soon, we could be back on my Ostelle before dinner and be airborne before nightfall.
When we were a safe distance from the city, Chaz removed Evelyn Two’s hat and peeled back the skin-colored prosthetic we’d wrapped around its head. He’d set everything up in advance, so all he had to do was press the button on the remote control unit and say, “Evelyn Two, scan your surrounds for concentrated electromagnetic feedback.”
The robot whirred for a few seconds, then beeped.
Chaz gave me a promising glance. “Evelyn Two, go to the source.”
We followed our well-dressed gentleman as he strode through the moors, passing shallow dips and gentle hillocks from which we could see the distant remains of holes we’d dug a few days back. Evelyn Two came to an expanse of flat terrain, increased its pace to a jog for several hundred yards, then beeped again and stopped abruptly.
“This must be it,” Chaz said.
Thorley unwrapped the long-handled shovels and gave me one.
“Evelyn Two. Dig,” I said, thrusting it toward the robot.
Chaz brought me the remote. “It won’t do anything unless you—”
“I know, Chaz. I was joking. Even if
it knows how to dig, I don’t want it breaking the chest open. That’s a lot of chips to carry back, and I don’t have that many pockets. Tell it to take two steps back so we can get at this thing.”
We didn’t have to dig long before we found something. Sable’s shovel struck a hard object. I knelt to brush the dirt off.
“This is not the chest I buried,” I said.
“What is it?” Thorley asked.
I brushed more dirt away and saw something shine from beneath. “It’s a body,” I said.
Chaz leaned in, horror-struck. “Are you serious?”
“Nope. Just kidding. I have no idea what it is.”
As we continued to sweep the dirt away, the small flash of blue turned into a large panel of bright painted metal. Whatever it was, it was huge. We continued for several minutes until we found the object’s edges, two bumpers and a windshield.
“It’s a motorcar,” Sable said.
“An old one,” said Chaz.
“This thing’s ancient. Must’ve been here for hundreds of years. Who buries a motorcar in the middle of the wilderness?”
“Beats me,” said Thorley. “Want to keep digging?”
“Might as well find out what’s inside,” I said.
We stayed at it until we’d just about excavated the whole blasted thing. It now sat in a giant crater, anchored to the earth by its tires. The vehicle was damaged, the front fender dented and one headlight smashed. We managed to pry the doors open and get into the trunk. Nothing inside.
Chaz inspected the hood and found the engine and all the vehicle’s internals fully intact. “An antique like this could be worth money if we fixed it up,” he said.
I wiped the sweat from my brow and gave him a skeptical look. “How much would something like this really go for, best-case scenario?”
“Several thousand chips, at least.”
I threw down my shovel. “We’re done here. Tell Evelyn Two to keep searching.”
“You really want to leave this beautiful antique behind?” Chaz said.
“How about I just pay you several thousand chips not to waste my time?”
“That doesn’t sound as fun as restoring an old motorcar.”
“You have enough work to do as it is,” I said. “I still need new augments and a Pyras-finder.”
Chaz slumped his shoulders.