Rather than over analyze a situation that was sure to steal my appetite, I turned my attention to the food set out on the table. I piled eggs and sausage on my plate and began slowly devouring it, contemplating my conversation with Anna. She had held her own and not shed a single tear, but I would continue to brace myself for that particular onslaught... no one could take this much in stride, I was sure. Lost in thought, I hadn’t realized no one was talking until Millie began humming a tune Anna recognized.
“Oh, that is a lovely song. Batty would sing to me, although he hadn’t much of a voice; that was his favorite.” She began humming along, quite content to nibble on her sausages and lose herself in the melody.
“Well then, your friend Batty has impeccable taste. My ma used to sing this to us every night before bed.” She resumed her humming, and when she finished, we all clapped, even Zane.
I helped with dishes and laundry without complaint and continued my history lesson, Anna at my side, with Millie in the afternoon. Aunt Lucie had mentioned once that her knowledge of our history was greatly lacking because she’d never found it useful in doing her part as a Guide. With each new tale of Millie’s, I couldn’t help but think that Aunt Lucie’s history lessons had barely scratched the surface of what I would find not only helpful but possibly detrimental to my job and the challenges that lay ahead for both myself and Anna.
I learned that the fabled Banshee’s wail began as a song that the Guide would sing after successfully helping a lost soul find its way. Millie assured me the songs were beautiful and the scary spin attached to them was the doing of the Badbeh, just another way to frighten people into giving up their souls and keeping their pain and grief earthbound.
I had thought about Zane all afternoon while with Millie and Anna. He occupied himself with the multitude of books in the shop downstairs and spoke to no one. His face, the few times I had ventured to look while fetching something from the shop, was hard and strained. I didn’t bother him. I was still embarrassed about kissing him.
As dinner rolled around, I was shocked to find he and I were alone in the dining room, Millie and Anna having disappeared rather suspiciously. Without speaking, I turned my back to him and busied myself with refolding already folded linen napkins to cut the tension. The lack of a visual connection helped, but only minimally. The closer he came, the less relief I felt. The air around us sang with feeling—mine or his, I couldn’t tell. No longer able to handle the pull I felt toward him, I turned and met his gaze, which was only inches from mine. I hadn’t heard him step behind me.
“Cat, I’m sorry about last night. You surprised me and I didn’t know how to react. Clearly, I chose the worst of the many options. Can you forgive me?” he pleaded.
Forgive him? Was my hearing going or did he just take responsibility for me kissing him?
“I’m not really sure what I should forgive you for. I was the one who kissed you... not my best moment. I’m sorry I let you down. I broke my promise,” I said, barely able to keep my knees from giving way. His proximity mangled my senses and caused the half of my brain that had loathed him to shatter into tiny irreparable pieces. My entire being yearned to kiss him again, taste his sweet breath, and wrap myself his strong, protective arms.
Zane stepped even closer, his chest brushing mine. Looking up, I saw a fire I’d never noticed before in his eyes. It sent a shiver of longing through my body and my breathing stuttered. “You have nothing to apologize for. If you hadn’t kissed me, it was just a matter of time before I broke that same promise and kissed you.” As though afraid I might run, he ran his hand down my arm and anchored himself to me by clasping my hand in his larger one. “My feelings for you and my duty to you are at odds, and I fear letting you down either way. It’s been like this since I first laid eyes on you, and Millie has been helping me come to terms with it all. Not that it makes matters better, I assure you. Her idea of helping is simply pointing out the fact that there is nothing written to keep us apart.” He slowly backed away, sank into the chair at the table, and buried his head in his hands. Scrubbing his face quickly he glanced up at me, I was finally able to see the emotions that marred his perfect face for what they were. Pain and anguish, yes, but also desire and adoration, all meant for me. I didn’t understand it. How could I have ever believed he hated me? Better yet, how could I have ever truly thought I hated him?
“But you called me ‘kid’ and treated me like I had no idea what life was about. How can you say these things?” Taking a step back, I put my hands on my hips and looked down at the floor. “I’m not even sure I like you most of the time. I wouldn’t have kissed you last night except that the crazy side of me took over,” I cried, knowing full well the truth was that I adored him with every fiber of my being. “Besides, we can’t do anything about it. I’m a Guide, remember? ‘Destined to be alone for the remainder of my days’ and all that.” Falling to the floor, I let the sobs I had been holding back overtake me, using all my strength to supply them with the ferocity I felt in my heart. I did care for Zane and wanted him more than I ever envisioned I could. Without him, I was sure my life would be wrong. I would still live my life and do my duty, but the passion with which I did it and the vivid beauty I witnessed would be gone. “Zane, you can’t leave, no matter what we are doing to complicate the situation. Together we are strong but apart we will both falter, do you understand that?” I wasn’t completely sure I understood but I felt it and that was all that mattered.
“I understand and I feel it, too.” He soothed my hair with his hand as he knelt on the floor where I had crumbled as I cried. “Whatever this is we can’t fight it, but we also can’t give in completely until we understand it. And for the record, the whole ‘kid’ thing was just my way of keeping distance between us. As long as you were mad at me, I could suppress the feelings I had. Let’s face it, before I knew that you were my mission, you were just a teenage girl in my eyes, beautiful and interesting, but still too young for me. Having that attraction to you made me the pervy older man.” He chuckled and raked his fingers through his hair. “That feeling of unease about our age difference persisted even after discovering your calling and understanding how it affected your growth physically, mentally, and emotionally. Until I watched you fight beside me and endanger your own life to save Anna’s and mine, I held fast to that concern. Now I realize that you were never a ‘kid.’ You were always the beautiful, strong woman you are right now. A fighter.”
I looked up at him as he finished and through tear-blurred eyes saw the familiar gleam I had missed shining from the depths of his verdant green eyes. I smiled weakly and tried to lighten the mood a bit. “Five years age difference is nothing nowadays.” He chuckled softly, his breath warming my face as he gently bowed closer to my lips. My smile gained substance the closer he came until finally his connected with mine in a soft, passionate kiss. I responded by wrapping my arms around his neck, drinking in the sensation of our mouths moving together, his arms pulling me tight against his chest, both of us relenting to the myriad of emotions we’d allowed to surface only once since we had met. Our embrace felt like poetry, though the books I’d read paled in comparison to the actual act.
Breathless and exhilarated, we pulled away and stared at one another. The anger and frustration I had let rule my feelings for so long disappeared, leaving a mixture of awe and want fanning the flames igniting my soul. Just as intense but far more gratifying.
“Wow, Mark has nothing on you!” I blurted, clapping my hand over my mouth.
Smirking, Zane said, “Thanks, I guess. I should mention that I was pretty jealous of that guy. I always hoped I would be the first to kiss these lips,” he whispered as he bent to kiss me sweetly one more time before helping me up.
“So, what now? Do we let anyone else in on this, or keep it our secret for now?” I asked hoping he felt as I did and wanted to figure some things out for ourselves first.
“As mu
ch as I want everyone to know that the woman I’m bound to protect is also the woman who has stolen my heart, I think it’s best if we stay quiet. We should figure it all out before we invite others to dissect our situation.” He smiled, his hand still cradling my cheek.
I nodded my head. “All right. But I’m going to hold you to the promise to actually figure it all out, okay?”
He laughed and kissed my forehead. “Deal.” As he bent to kiss me again Millie and Anna floated back into the room smiling.
“I see you two have figured out yer made to fit together, huh?”
Burying my head in his chest, I giggled. She was such a know it all. Zane chuckled and kissed the top of my head. “We’re a little slow, it would seem, Millie.” I felt him smile against my hair and giggled again.
Millie walked toward us and put one hand on my back as she patted Zane’s cheek lightly. “That ya are, boyo. That ya are.”
Dinner was a blur. My concentration was on the hand firmly holding mine when it wasn’t being used to serve or cut food. My cheeks actually ached from all the smiling I did. After all the food was devoured and the dishes were done, we met Millie in her shop. She had set aside trinkets for each of us as a parting gift, and if I had her pegged correctly, each would come with its own form of protective magic.
Not surprisingly, we found her in her shop rummaging through the shelves, her arms already full of strange looking objects.
“We finished cleaning up, Millie. Are these the trinkets you mentioned?” I asked quietly. It wouldn’t do to scare our host and make her drop her treasures.
“Why, yes, they are. Ya see, these aren’t just pretty baubles, they have a purpose. Most of them are for protection, meant for yer fella and new charge, Miss Anna. When I enchanted yer pendant, I added a bit o’ protection to it as well. A few of them have a charm that allows ya to see a person’s true self or create fire if you’re in need of it, and this one here,” she held up an intricately designed bottle, small but amazingly beautiful, “this holds an elixir that can keep a person alive long enough to heal their wounds. But be warned, if it is their time to go this won’t be help’n ya. There is no way to get around die’n when it’s yer real and true time. Ya should know that, my dear. So, when ya use these up ya can just send for more. I’ll always be here to help ya out.” She handed each of us a magically enhanced gift with a motherly pat on the arm. Anna received the bottle and a bracelet charmed to allow her to see through a person’s false pretenses, as well as communicate with Millie when needed. I received a small dagger made of steel enhanced with fae magic that could be carried on my person without detection and a bracelet to match Anna’s. She gave me yet another bracelet to give my aunt and a mirror that would allow her to keep an eye on me even in my projected form. Most of Zane’s gifts were going to be shipped home as she was giving him a small arsenal of daggers and one very handy shield that was impervious to the dark spells the Badbeh were most likely to use. He was also gifted a coin that matched my pendant closely and could do what my bracelet did. Anticipating our need for more than one, Millie handed me another of those coins in the event Anna did indeed have a Caomhnóir.
“I’ll just go put these in the suitcase we have upstairs. Thank you for everything, Millie, I’m glad to know you’re on our side. I am still a bit astounded by your abilities, but given the fact that I have learned truth lies behind most myths, I don’t know why I would be surprised to meet a real live fairy.” I chuckled at the sound of the word “fairy.” It was surreal knowing all of these things existed.
“So ya say, so ya say. I’m only part fae, love, don’t ya be forget’n that, though I’m proud of that part of me. And having met ya, I have a purpose for it now as well.” She patted my back and looked out the window of her shop. “Yer troubles are just start’n with the Badbeh and their band of miscreants, lass. You’ll need all the help and friends ya can get. Now, go on ya three. Ya need to go pack before we have dessert.” She shooed us out, and we took our gifts to pack in our bags.
While we sat around and ate dessert, Millie lectured us all about always having our charms on us and the limitations each trinket had. While very helpful and capable of saving our lives, none of the charms but the shield were immune to others’ magic, so carelessness could still put us in trouble with no way out.
Zane and I kept our new secret from the moment our mutual epiphany hit, though there were two others who were aware of our new predicament. Nothing was said outright to either Millie or Anna, but we both knew that they knew about our relationship and we chose to trust they would keep it a secret until we felt ready to have it known.
The urge to kiss him or simply be near enough to touch him roared through me every second. The constant thought that it would get easier with time was proven wrong as those same seconds passed. Each time we found ourselves alone I wasted little time in planting my lips on his.
Everyone had gone to bed, and once I sang Anna to sleep and called my aunt to fill her in on the details of our “adventure,” I crept from the warm protection of my covers and down the hall to Zane’s room in Millie’s apartment. Quietly, I scratched at the door and waited impatiently for him to respond. What seemed like an eternity passed before I heard the soft click of the doorknob followed by the emerging light from within the room as the crack in the door widened.
“Cat, you should be asleep, we have to leave early tomorrow.” He tried to sound stern but the sleepy smile creeping across his face gave away his true feelings.
“Hmm, I’m aware we have to leave early, but I just can’t seem to go to sleep.” I batted my eyelashes. “Might you have a cure for my overanxious mind?” I twirled a lock of hair around my finger. “Something to soothe it, perhaps?” I asked slyly, scooting through his doorway to stand in front of him. The sight of his bare chest sent my blood boiling and all the new sensations that filled me from head to toe tingled as I placed my hand over his heart.
“Well, so much for keeping our secret ours. You are going to have to learn to control these impulses, Catherine. Sneaking around is simply not an option.” His hand rested over mine as the other took hold of my waist. His thumb ran lazy circles along the skin above my waistband, driving me crazy. It was an innocent touch, but it implied the ability to be naughty with very little effort. “But since we are still a continent away from anyone that will give us grief, I see no wrong in indulging you this once... but there are rules.” His fingers stopped smoothing over my skin and squeezed gently to drive his point home. “I was raised to be a gentleman, and I intend to do my parents proud, even in the face,” he looked down at my chest then back to my face, “of your overwhelming enthusiasm.” He winked, quietly closing the door behind us.
Hand in hand, we walked to a chair by the window. He sat, pulling me down to rest in his lap. I curled into a ball, my head resting on his shoulder, and purred with delight as he caressed my arm and kissed my forehead. This all felt so natural and right, the way people were supposed to feel when meeting their other half. We did not kiss or talk. We sat together, enjoying each other and the feeling of safety within one another’s arms.
I must have fallen asleep like that, prompting Zane to move me, because when I woke in the morning I was back in my room, Anna at my side. Stretching lazily, I could still feel the heat of Zane’s arms around me and hoped there would come a time when I could wake with him next to me.
Oh well, savor the moment now and wish for other things later... must pack to leave.
I roused Anna and laid the clothes Millie had found for her out on the bed after I had dressed. I knew she would be overwhelmed by the appearance of pants and jeans rather than frilly dresses. Walking in on her the day before as she held up a pair of khaki pants as though they were filled with germs nearly sent me into fits of laughter, until I remembered how foreign all of this truly was to her.
The first thing we would do when we were back at home would
be to find some things that actually fit her. As she dressed, I was reminded of playing dress-up in my mother’s clothes when I was young. She looked exactly the way I must have, Millie’s clothes hanging off her making her look even younger than she was. I promised myself that I would spoil her every chance I got and take her shopping without scowling.
For the second morning in a row, the smell of delicious food filled the small room and we nearly tripped over one another getting to the table. Millie made a short speech about her new friends and a safe journey before we all dug in and ate everything she had lovingly prepared. Without allowing us the chance to help her clean the mess we had made, she removed everything from the table, leaving us to gather our bags for the short trip to the airport.
Tears threatened to overwhelm us all as we said our good-byes. We promised to call, and Millie said she would try to come see us. Zane bestowed the title of Protectors’ Protector—his own term—upon her, and we all laughed and then resumed crying. Once in the car our party of three felt odd and sorely missing one of its strongest members.
We survived the short car ride, but just barely. Anna inundated us with questions about the new world she had been thrust into. She had never seen planes or cars. Street lights, strange clothing, the music on the radio, it all threatened to engulf her in a blur of unfamiliarity and chaos. We immediately faced an issue, though we had prepared for it. Anna had no ID, let alone an actual passport. We decided the night before that I would use my thought gardening talent on airport officials in Ireland and the US. Everyone but me was confident it would work, but since I’d had as many failures as successes, I wasn’t so sure. As we approached security, Zane and Anna let me go first, and when I made eye contact with each official, I planted the picture of Anna’s passport so that when she handed them an empty book fashioned to look like a passport, they would simply let her by. To my surprise, it worked. Once we were sitting in the terminal waiting to board the plane, I sighed heavily and did a mental fist pump. Looking to my right, I saw Anna looking around drowsily and suggested she close her eyes for a bit, allowing her time to rest and Zane and I time to be close without her sweet eyes staring holes into us.
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