by Alice Dee
Dominic apologized for making her get out of bed but he liked seeing her off guard, in nothing but a shirt and no makeup whatsoever. At the club she was an exquisite, ornate donut, like the pink ones with sprinkles. Right now she was still extraordinary, like a glazed donut rather than a plain one.
“What couldn’t wait till morning?”
Dominic closed her door behind him.
“I was waiting up for you but I fell asleep.”
Hope crossed her arms. He didn’t look like he had been sleeping. He was dressed and his features were popping unlike hers. She could feel her eyes wanting to close; burning like there was air in them. She was eager at his presence but she was worn out nonetheless. Dominic wouldn’t sit down till Hope asked him to. He apologized for never coming back earlier that day, for leaving her “hanging”. Hope sat at the edge of her bed with a deep, pensive expression.
“It’s all right. I’m not the type of girl to sit around and sulk.”
Dominic claimed he knew that, but inside was thinking she was lying. He apologized again anyway and explained to her what she already knew. Tristan knew about them. Hope felt sort of bad but at the same time, it was a relief. She didn’t want to be sneaky and sneaky guys were a turn off. She stared down at the ground as he went on, revealing to her that Tristan might be pregnant. He explained that he’d been trying to get a hold of Tristan because she had left so fast. He said he wasn’t sure what to do. He said he wasn’t sure Tristan was even telling the truth.
“What do you think?” he asked at the closing of his “revelation”.
What Hope was thinking was that this was a whole lot of drama she wanted no part of. She liked Dominic, no lie there. But he had baggage in the form of a girlfriend and a possible kid on the way which usually spelled out trouble indefinitely, maybe even for the rest of his life. It was best to stay away from situations like this. No one ever had to tell Hope this stuff and she didn’t have to learn things the hard way to realize something wasn’t good for her. She had common sense and tried her best to apply it to most aspects of her life, especially when it came to relationships. But…
“I…don’t know…”
“I’m not asking what I should do. I know what I have to do. There’s no doubt I’ll do everything in my power for that kid. But as far as her, I’m done with her. I feel like an asshole but I’m not leaving her because she might be pregnant. It might look that way but it isn’t like that.”
“Why are you telling me this?”
“What you think matters to me.”
“We don’t even know each other.”
“Yeah, but I want to get to know you. I can’t wash away everything that has just happened. But I really want another chance.”
“What are you talking about, chance?”
“A chance to make a good impression. Anything’s possible right?”
Hope didn’t know how to respond. Everyone knows you only get one shot at making a good first impression. But anyway, she wasn’t sure what her first impression of him had been. She saw what she saw on the surface and liked that. That was good enough.
“You know what I think? I think you’re making way too much out of this.”
“You think so?”
Hope nodded and smiled through the dark pink curtain of light.
“Let’s just forget about everything. Let’s just have fun. Everyone wants to have fun.” She crossed her legs.
“If you really believe that why do I never see you even smiling?”
“You make me smile…”
“I make you scream.”
She was still grinning.
“So you’re not mad about earlier?”
“No, I understand. But maybe next time, assuming there’s a next time, you have the courtesy to let me know in advance that there’s been a change of plans.”
“I will.”
Hope sighed, looked at the clock.
“I hate to do this but I have to wake up early.”
Dominic stood on his feet as soon as she did.
“I can’t even stay for a little bit?”
“Sorry,” she replied, holding open the door.
“Really?”
“Really. I have to get up early and I need my beauty sleep.”
He wondered if this was a test. He walked passed her and stood outside her door, realizing she was serious. He thought she was surely trying to get back at him.
“Hey,” she called after him. “I really hope everything works out.”
***
“You’re not taking his calls?”
Tristan folded her left arm on her desk and rested her head on it.
“No. I can’t. I can’t talk to him, I can’t look at him.”
Charla was quiet for a few seconds.
“Are you sure…”
“I’m sure.” Tristan forced her sluggish body up and stared at the brightness of her computer screen. “He didn’t even deny it. All this time I knew something was up with them. Well, I hoped I was wrong but I wasn’t.”
“I don’t even know how you managed to make it to work today. Work is the last place I’d want to be if I just found out my boyfriend was with another girl.”
“It’s not easy but I can’t just lie in bed all day. I have some things to figure out.”
“Maybe you should talk to him.” Charla stuck the tip of pen between her front teeth. “At least about the baby. You can take him to the cleaners, you know.”
Tristan miserably stared at the matte glazed imitation wood of the desk in front of her. She couldn’t get the images out of her mind; imagining details of Hope’s bathroom, wet skin, her arms around Dominic’s body, them savagely eating each other’s mouths. Worse, these images were like a memory, you’d think she actually saw it with her own eyes. Twice as worse, she saw it slow motion.
“You think that baby changed his mind?” Charla asked.
“I don’t know. I don’t see how it would.”
“Maybe he is sorry and wants to work things out. You won’t know unless you talk to him.”
“We’ll see. I’m just not ready yet.”
“Well,” Charla said, spinning around in her chair. “I’m going to Italy in two months. I would like for you to go but I guess you can’t being preggers and all.”
“You decided you’re going?”
“Yeah,” she replied. “For three months.”
“What about your job?”
“I’ve already let them know. They said I can come back if I want, once I’m back from Italy. And even if they wouldn’t take me back, this is a once in a lifetime thing. I don’t care that much about this job.”
“You’re leaving.”
“Yeah,” Charla sighed. “But unfortunately I’ll be back. Really wish you could come along.”
“Me too.”
“I’ll stop by your house tonight. Maybe we can go out for something to eat or just hang out, yeah?”
“I don’t know.” Tristan shuddered at the idea. She wanted to go home, climb in bed and just hide away forever. She hadn’t been able to really cry, to let it all out because she was at work. She actually looked forward to going home so she could facially release water.
“Remember what you said? Life doesn’t stop.”
“You’re right.” She thought about Dominic. In a few hours he’d be off work and would probably be with Hope. Surely he wasn’t thinking about her or how miserable she felt. Tristan squeezed her phone against her ear. She knew Dominic was having all the fun despite her despair. No, she couldn’t just lie in bed and wither away into an old dried up shrimp. She had to do anything to get her mind off of this. She agreed with Charla to hang out that night, just for a bit.
28…We need a plan
Josephine opened the door for Charla who was wearing faded jeans with shreds on her thighs and knees. She was wearing a heather cream colored sweatshirt that draped off her shoulders. As always her nails were manicured and she was wearing thin golden loops in her ears, one of many
replicate pairs she owned. Her hair was piled on top of her head in a fancy bun that was so tight it slanted her eyes. She slung her handbag over her shoulder and followed Josephine to the stairs.
Tristan came down in dark blue jeans and a hoodie. Charla immediately looked at her tennis shoes that screamed Kmart.
“You look like shit,” she whispered, so Josephine who was a few feet away couldn’t hear.
“Screw you, bitch. Is this what you came for?” Tristan tilted her head.
Charla looked at Tristan’s bare face. Her eyes were somewhat swollen and her freckles were visible. She had a dewy look to her skin and she had messy bed head hair.
“On second thought, I think pregnancy is doing you justice. Come here,” Charla held her arms out to her friend and finger combed her hair. “Don’t slouch. Stand up straight and look proud. You don’t want to look like someone who just got dumped.”
“I feel like I’m dying,” she whispered in Charla’s face.
“That doesn’t mean you have to look it.”
“I’m heading out,” Tristan called out to Josephine. She and Charla walked to the car.
“I was thinking about something.” Charla reached for her seatbelt and strapped it across her chest. “Why don’t we make this girl’s life hell?”
Tristan frowned, strapping herself in.
“I thought about it. Soon as this thing is out of me, I’m gonna beat the shit out of her.”
“Are you for real? You can’t think of one thing you want to do to her now? She didn’t even steal my man and I have all kinds of shit in my head. What are you going to do, let her win?”
“She has won. He screwed her. Screwing her,” she corrected herself with an eye roll.
“Why let her think she can get away with it?”
Tristan looked at her friend.
“What are you saying?”
“We know where she lives and where she works. There are millions of ways to make her life absolute hell.”
Tristan thought about this. She thought about Hope and that stupid purple dress she’d worn. Every time she pictured Hope she was in that dress. It burned Tristan up inside when she thought of Hope. She could see her face clearly and it made her feel like she was going to hyperventilate.
“Like how?”
Charla started up the car.
“We can spend the evening thinking up ways, plotting.”
“You’re horrible Charla.”
“Yea or nay?”
“Definitely yea,” Tristan said with no hesitation.
“Dominic has a fight coming up. If he takes her, I swear, I will make her SO sorry she ever fucked with me.”
Charla grinned. “We’re gonna make her sorry anyway.”
Hope hung up her phone and stared at it for a moment. She couldn’t reach Shamayla. She’d been trying for two days, no word, and that wasn’t normal. The girls spoke daily, even when their work schedules didn’t coincide. She glanced at her watch. It was four thirty. She could try to catch Shamayla at home, assuming she was even there. Hope came out of her bedroom and glanced at shirtless Dominic sprawled out on her bed, sleeping and purring soft snores. She tip toed passed him and dropped her phone in her purse, reached for her car keys. She scribbled on a piece of paper “Be back in a bit” and taped it to the door. With that, she left on her quest to find Shamayla.
Hope pulled up in front of the one story border house Shamayla was staying at. It was on the end of Phoenix Road and like most of the other houses on the street, had a lawn made up of dry dirt and bits of pebbles and twigs. The screens were browned, visibly dirty and the paint was chipping in random spots all over the house. Hope got off the car and went to the front door. She knocked and waited but no one answered. There was a Jeep in the driveway so Hope figured someone had to be home. She knocked again.
“Hi,” she said, as soon at the front door opened. She couldn’t see the person standing behind the screen because it was either too dusty, or the sun was too bright.
“Is Shamayla here?”
“Nah,” a guy said, opening the door to either get a better look at Hope, or so she could get a better look at him. “She hasn’t been around in a couple days.”
“Really,” Hope said flatly to the shirtless guy.
“But hey, if I see her I’ll tell her…”
“Hope.”
“I’ll tell her Hope came by.”
“Thanks.” Hope turned away and put her dark glasses down over her eyes. She stopped and turned around to face the twenty-something who was still standing there with the screen ajar.
“Did you happen to see who she left with, what kind of car?”
“Nah,” he said, seeming apologetic. “Everybody comes and goes all day and night. I don’t know.”
“Thanks anyway.” Hope went back to her car and dialed Shamayla’s number again. The phone just kept ringing and eventually went to voicemail. A lot of things went through Hope’s mind. It could be Zefar, forcing himself back into her life again. But then again, it could also be Justin. But…then again… Shamayla was missing for two days now and Dominic would have mentioned it if Justin took off somewhere with Shamayla. She decided there was hope in this and tried not to think of all the negative possibilities, though they did outweigh the positive ones.
When Hope got home she saw that Dominic wasn’t on her bed anymore. The note was gone, too. She closed her door behind her and stared down the hallway. She could feel his presence somewhere in the apartment and his work boots beside her bed confirmed it. She put her purse down on the table and headed down the hallway, passing the opened bathroom door. She was about to look in her bedroom but heard clanking in the kitchen.
“I didn’t know you were in here.”
“I saw you walk by. You overlooked me.”
Hope leaned against the counter and watched Dominic stir pasta in a silver pot. He cooked. What a keeper.
“I have a fight coming up. Would you like to come see me?” Putting the fork aside, he wiped off his hands and looked at her.
“Like, fight fight?”
“Yeah, like, fight. It’s a big fight for me, this one. It’s kind of like an audition.” He went on to explain how winning this series of three fights in one night could catapult him to the big time. Obviously it was important to him, and he wanted her to be there to support him. To Hope, that said a lot. He put Tristan and her baby drama aside for her. Maybe he was turning out to be her kind of man after all.
On the down side, she wasn’t one for violence.
“You don’t wanna see your man in action?”
She smiled big at the label. Her man? There went those butterflies…
“Of course I’ll go,” she beamed. She wrapped her arms around his thick middle. He kissed her head and went back to cooking.
29…This is making me sick
Tristan pulled into a vacant parking spot and got out of her car. It wasn’t that late yet but it was dark out and desolate so it felt late. She didn’t like that Dominic’s apartment was in the back of the four-plex he lived in, and his faced nothing. His front view was the parking lot, the trash dumpster and the road on the other side of a pink brick wall that looked like it had been bombed.
She usually got an eerie feeling out here and wrapped her arms around herself, normally something she wouldn’t do. She figured it was “maternal instinct”. His white truck glistened under the street light in his parking spot while Hope’s Civic was nowhere to be seen. She figured the ho must be at work which was a relief because that meant Dominic wasn’t with her. Tristan’s shoes popped against the asphalt as she walked across the parking lot toward the staircase leading to his apartment. As she walked, headlights washed over her briefly. She turned around and saw Hope’s Civic turning the corner. She panicked and ran to the side of Dominic’s truck, crouched like a hidden tiger, dragon, whatever you may. She peeked through his tinted windows but couldn’t see anything through them.
“It’s just weird,” Hope said, pulling
into her parking space. “I don’t know what else to do.”
“Maybe she’s with friends you never met.”
Hope shook her head.
“If I don’t see her at work tomorrow night then something is definitely up. I’ll file a missing person’s report. Maybe I should’ve done that already.”
Dominic put his hand on Hope’s extended arm. She looked over at him and took her hand off of the steering wheel.
“They had a fight so maybe she’s trying to avoid Justin. She might think you’re trying to speak to her through him.”
“No, Shamayla’s not the type to keep that to herself.”
“Give it one more day. I’m sure she’s fine and she’ll show up at work.”
“I hope so.” Hope pulled her key out of the ignition and cracked her door open.
Tristan crept to the end of the truck and peeked at Hope’s car. Her door opened and a few seconds later she stepped out. Tristan’s eyes rolled down from Hope’s long tresses to her body. She was wearing a black leotard with a long flowy skirt.
“What a whore,” Tristan mumbled under her breath. Then she saw Dominic’s head appear on the other side of Hope’s car. They were talking and he was laughing, acting like he didn’t have a care in the world. But here she was, pregnant and lonely. Tristan put her hand over her mouth. She could feel the acidic liquids churning up in her esophagus. She watched Hope lead the way up the stairs, walking like a snob while her boyfriend tailed behind her like a pathetic dog. Hope unlocked her apartment door and Dominic put his hands on her waist and tailed her inside.
Tristan closed her eyes, turned to the side of Dominic’s truck and coughed up vomit. That grossed her out and the next thing she knew she was projectile vomiting all over his truck. She clutched her stomach and cleared her throat. Throwing up always grossed her out and made her want to cry afterward. It was traumatizing when your body worked against you like this. Still holding her stomach, Tristan hurried to her car and dialed Charla’s number. She looked through the trash on the passenger side floor and found an old napkin. She wiped her mouth with it and took a swig of water. Her throat was burning like she had swallowed sandpaper.