by Brown, TW
Dave began to stir, making soft pain noises. He wasn’t dead. Yet. He was in my shadow, but I could see his face. I glanced over my shoulder. Thalia stood, alone, shunned by the others it seemed. The group of people who’d allowed me to lead them for the most part hadn’t moved. I couldn’t see a single face, only dark outlines, but I could see the angle of their heads. They were fixed on Thalia. Looking at the other group, some of them had inched closer to Matt’s prone, lifeless corpse. Still, they were hesitant, and now another of their number lay dead on the ground at my hands.
A soft moan brought me back to Dave. His eyes were flickering. I glanced at the bump, the rip on his arm. Kneeling beside him, I saw his eyes struggle to open, his face contorted in pain.
“Dave?” I whispered, and placed my hand over his mouth. I knew he wasn’t dead—or undead—yet. “Thalia’s been bitten.”
His eyes opened and I saw the pain, but I knew it wasn’t for Thalia, it was for himself. For the bite on his arm. That made me even angrier.
“I want you to know,” I whispered low enough so that only he could hear, “that while I must accept the blame for making the decision, this is your fault.”
I brought the blade up, his eyes widened in fear and realization, and stayed wide even after the knife plunged into one of them, through his orbital socket, brain, and out the back of his skull. Unlike the female I’d killed, or the child, little Matt, Dave kicked and flailed. Just for a second or two.
I stood, leaving the blade jutting from Dave’s face, and returned to Thalia. She was standing quietly, tiny sobs escaping her. She was watching the newcomers now clustered around Matt. I scooped her into my arms, noticing for the first time that her blanket was wadded up on the ground next to the stump I’d been sitting on while eating my dinner.
“Everybody load up,” I barked making both groups jump.
“But—” a voice came from my group, but I was too pissed to recognize whose.
“Get the fuck in the vehicles or your ass gets left behind,” I snarled, shoving past them.
I heard a scattering of people. There were whispers and mumbles, but I didn’t care. They wanted me to make decisions? Then they wanted to bitch if they didn’t like it. Well, somebody better take charge or we were fucked ten ways to Sunday. From now on, I’d make decisions, and whoever didn’t like it was free to leave. Paul Wimmer and Randall Smith had known that. And who the hell had I been to doubt or question? Infected folks were put down. Period. My inability to see that had cost me…dearly.
I climbed into the driver’s seat, Thalia in my lap. I’d have at least a few hours. As soon as we found a new spot—all the lights and activity here would bring something sooner or later—I’d see if I could get her to go to sleep. I’d try it then. Only, I really didn’t know if I was gonna be able to do it until after she turned.
Bodies piled in, but I paid no attention to who had joined me in this vehicle. I turned off the lights, plunging us all into darkness. It took a few moments for my night vision to adjust. I was very aware of the tiny figure on my lap as it moved slightly, seeming to snuggle in close. I had one arm around her, partially just to hold her, but also, it let me feel her body expand and contract with each breath.
We drove out from under the canopy of trees and into a sky filled with stars. The half-moon sat low, adding just a tad more ambient light to drive by. I was aware of Dr. Zahn in the passenger’s seat. I could feel her eyes on me. Whether they were due to the child in my lap, or the man back at our abandoned camp with the handle of my Buck knife sticking out of his face, I didn’t know. Nor did I care.
A thud echoed through the Hummer as I smashed a figure that stumbled into our path. I saw others slowly climbing the ridge. They were coming to where we’d camped just as I knew they would. I made no attempt to dodge or avoid any that wandered in front of my vehicle.
I drove, my eyes scanning for a new place. Eventually I spied a gravel turn-off and took it. I noticed the shift in breathing coming from Thalia. She’d drifted off. Slowing to a crawl, I made out something in the gradually lightening sky: a tower. It was one of the forest fire lookout towers common out in these sparsely populated, brush and forest dense areas of the state. I’d done enough hiking and camping over the years to have an idea what to expect.
A half an hour later, we pulled into a clearing at the base of the tower. This one was big. It rose at least fifty feet and sat atop a base of four tree-trunk thick wooden stilts. A ladder ascended, ending at a trapdoor that would open to a narrow walkway that went all the way around the outside. I had already made out intact windows. This was actually an ideal spot for now. I guessed the enclosed space above to be thirty feet by thirty feet. That was more than enough room for our group.
Nobody said a word as I shut off the engine and opened the door. I climbed out and Thalia woke enough to shift position and wrap her arms around my neck. Without being prompted, everybody began the climb. Emily stopped beside me and looked at Thalia.
“Is Thalia gonna turn into one of the monsters like Matt?” she asked with blunt, childlike innocence.
“C’mon, Emily,” Teresa whispered as she stepped up and guided the girl away by the shoulders.
I blinked back the tears, biting the inside of my cheek to keep them at bay. One by one, everybody disappeared through the trapdoor until only Thalia, Dr. Zahn, and I remained.
“I have some morphine in my bag,” Dr. Zahn whispered. “If you give her enough, she simply won’t wake back up.”
I handed Thalia to her. I couldn’t speak around the lump growing in my throat. I could barely see around all the tears.
“Papi,” Thalia mumbled, stirring, but not waking.
The back door to the Hummer was still open and Dr. Zahn ducked inside and laid the limp form of my little girl on one of the backseats. She went around to the front passenger’s side and grabbed her bag. Without realizing it, I’d taken a few steps back. There was no way I could watch.
Dr. Zahn gave me one last sorrowful glance and disappeared inside the vehicle. I stumbled back another step and fell on my ass. How could I have failed so completely? I put my head in my hands and wept. I’d kept it inside as long as I could. Tears poured and my body shook. Every part of me ached.
“Steve?” Dr. Zahn had finished at some point and stood beside me.
I looked up. The sun had risen and its soft glow was lighting her face. She was smiling! How the hell could she—
“Come.” She extended a hand down.
“I’m not ready to see her yet,” I managed around the sobbing that felt like it may never stop.
“Get up,” she insisted.
Act like a goddamned leader, the voice in my head barked. I stood, refusing the offered hand, and brushed myself off. It’s not over, I reminded myself. There was still the matter of ensuring that my little girl wouldn’t get back up. I couldn’t expect the doctor to do everything.
Looking in the back, I saw a wad of bloody rags. At least Dr. Zahn had been decent enough to clean her up and put her in different clothes. I saw the tiny chest rise and fall!
“How long?” I asked, turning to the woman standing just back a step.
“No idea,” Dr. Zahn shrugged, “she’s clean, Steve.” The words hung in the air, but made no sense to me. “Not a bite, nick, or scratch.”
“How…” I had no words, just new tears.
“None of that blood was hers.”
“But—”
“I’ll monitor her to see if she perhaps ingested any or whatever other remote possibility exists that she was contaminated,” Dr. Zahn was back to speaking in her normal, clinical manner, “but Thalia is fine as far as I can tell.”
Whoa, it’s getting dark.
***
“Steve?” a voice from far away called.
Something horrid and unpleasant filled my sinuses. I coughed and a fresh pain bloomed in my skull. My eyes flickered, then squeezed shut, offended by the brilliance of the sun.
“Steve?” tha
t voice called again. This time from right beside me.
I squinted, and a shadow fell over my eyes. Dr. Zahn was shielding them from the sun with her hands. I looked up into her stoic face, which held for all of a few seconds before laughter came. At first a giggle, then, outright laughing. I tried to sit up, but the pain in my skull reminded me that perhaps I should stay still for another minute.
“Papi?” a small voice said cautiously.
“Thalia?” I rolled my eyes towards the sound of the voice. A dark shadow floated across my vision…then, two bony knees found the center of my solar plexus, driving the wind from me in a rush.
Little hands grabbed my face and I felt a kiss on both my cheeks, then my top lip. Delicate arms wrapped around my neck and a damp cheek pressed to mine. Raven black hair fell across my eyes, blinding me once more.
“Let him get his breath, child,” Dr. Zahn said, and I felt the nearly weightless body start to lift off of me. The arms around my neck gripped tighter.
“S’okay,” I wheezed and returned the hug I was being given.
“Our fearless leader fainted,” Dr. Zahn said in a very uncharacteristic sing-song voice.
“Rub it in,” I said, squeezing Thalia tighter. “I don’t care.”
“Yes, well,” there was that serious, clinical voice again, “I need to check you out. You’re bleeding and I need to clean it so it doesn’t get infected. Also, I’m gonna bet you have a least a slight concussion.”
I didn’t care. Thalia was okay. Also, I’d learned some very valuable lessons. About life. Death. Leadership. And most of all, there is no room for error if somebody is infected.
After a few more minutes, Dr. Zahn insisted that Thalia get up so that she could check my injury. I caught the doctor smirking a few times. I also saw something else in her eyes and knew we’d have to deal with it sooner or later: Dave.
While she cleaned and bandaged my head, I replayed that moment. Had I been fair blaming him for my decision? He was saying a lot of things that I felt but hadn’t expressed. I hadn’t been in favor of the execution—there really is no nice way to put it—of people who were infected. But last night, I’d seen why it was important. Instead of one dead child, we’d lost a woman I didn’t know, a man who had been a valuable member of our group, and almost another child.
There were going to be some changes. I doubted that everybody would like them. That would be the first change. Nobody was making anybody stay. I would need to be very clear as to how things were going to operate and inform everybody that those who didn’t like it were free to go.
***
“I don’t understand why we can’t simply stay right here.” Sunshine gestured to the large, open room that was the observation tower.
“You can,” I said, trying to keep my voice level and non-confrontational. “However, my objective is to find someplace that can be converted into an actual place to live.”
“What’s wrong with right here?” an older man easily in his fifties, Lawrence Tynes, asked.
“No readily accessible water source.” I began ticking off the points on my fingers. “No room for expansion if we find others. No emergency exit if the zombies find it—”
“What others?” Lawrence snapped. “We’re in the middle of nowhere. It’s unlikely we’ll encounter that many other people out here.”
“Same thoughts I had until we risked our asses rescuing you people,” Barry snorted.
Suddenly everybody was talking, arguing, shouting over one another. There was finger-pointing, finger-waving, and just the plain old finger. I pinched the bridge of my nose and squeezed my eyes shut at the sudden outburst of volume. This was the third outburst in the ten short minutes we’d been discussing things. I glanced at Dr. Zahn who merely raised an eyebrow at me as if to say, how long are you going to let this continue?
“Enough,” I said. The arguing continued and I barely heard the word come out of my own mouth. Fine. “Enough!” I shouted sharply. The room fell silent.
“I’m gonna make this clear,” I said. Everybody was looking at me like I’d grown a second head. “We leave here tomorrow. There are two towns north and east of here with reported populations under two thousand. That seems the best potential for supplies.
“I want to make sure everybody gets plenty of rest; we need to be sharp going in. I don’t want to lose anybody because we make sloppy mistakes due to fatigue.” I made sure to sweep my gaze around to everybody like I’d seen Paul do when he spoke.
“What if we don’t want to?” a woman, Sandy or Cindy—
something like that—asked. I still hadn’t learned these folks’ names. A point I needed to remedy…soon.
“Then stay here,” I shrugged, “but when we roll out tomorrow, we take everything with us. If you want to be independent and on your own, fine, you do it with what you came with. For those of you we just plucked from the warehouse, that means the clothes on your backs and a couple of homemade weapons.”
“What about food and water?” Lawrence stepped forward.
“I guess you better get busy finding some,” I replied. I caught a bit of a smile on Barry’s face. Good, that probably meant I could count on his support. Teresa was expressionless, as was Dr. Zahn. Jamie and Aaron looked nervous, but I think it was because of the tension in the room. A physical confrontation wasn’t out of the picture. Randi would probably back Barry. That left Melissa, I made eye contact. She nodded slightly!
“I won’t leave anybody who wants to come,” I continued. “But I won’t deplete what’s ours to support people who aren’t with us. I won’t do anything to hurt, hinder or—”
“Help,” Lawrence cut me off.
“See it how you like it,” I said. “But if you want to go your own way, you do it without taking our stuff.”
As I spoke I tried to gauge the others. Sunshine had moved over near Barry, so had a short, blonde woman who hadn’t uttered a word since we’d picked them up. That left Lawrence, Sandy/Cindy, and the other two young men, both of which looked to be in their late teens or early twenties.
“Tonight, we eat together,” I said, “but tomorrow I’m rolling out of here. Be here or don’t. It is your decision to make. One that you need to be ready to live or die with.”
***
“I love you, Papi,” Thalia said over her hands that were still folded under her chin from saying her prayers.
“And I love you, Thalia.” I leaned down and kissed her forehead. “Now get some sleep. We have some busy days coming.”
I stood, knees popping like tiny firecrackers. I winced, Thalia giggled. Why do children find the maladies of age so damned funny? I cinched my belt a little tighter and did a mental pat-down of my arsenal: two .45 caliber, semi-automatic pistols; Remington 12-gauge shotgun loaded with five, ten reloads in my vest pockets; field machete; and a brand new Bowie knife (compliments of Jamie to replace my Buck).
I walked out of the open quarters of the observation tower and onto the narrow walk. It was chilly and I could see my breath in little puffs. The moon overhead was slim and ducking in and out of the occasional cloud that scudded by. I walked all the way around, slowly admiring just how amazingly dark the New World was at night.
I was finishing my third circuit, rounding the corner on the side with the door when I literally bumped into Melissa. She was leaning against the log wall, and obviously waiting for me.
“You’ve been a bit…busy,” she said quietly.
“Yeah, and I owe you an apology for last night.”
“No. I think I realized today just how much of this crap has been piled on you.” She put a hand on my cheek.
“I was still a dick.” I peeled off one glove and took her hand in mine. “I had no right to assume you were there to ride me like everybody else had been up to that point.”
“No?” a playful tone crept into her voice. “I plan on riding you an entirely different way.
“Umm…” I was expecting more anger, perhaps some hurt feelings, not come-
on lines.
“It was kinda sexy seeing you take charge like that.”
“I just figured that if everybody expected me to take the lead, it was time I acted the part.” I was a little uncomfortable with the praise and fawning. I can’t claim to ever having been a lady’s man.
“Yeah, well I had to practically put Chloe in a headlock,” Melissa chuckled.
“Who?” I was so confused. I had no idea who she was talking about, nor did I know why there should be a need for headlocks.
“The cute little blonde,” Melissa said. “The one who follows Sunshine everyplace. The deaf girl.”
What deaf girl?
“You didn’t know that one of the newbs is deaf, did you?”
“Until this very minute?” I asked sarcastically. “No.”
“Steve, you really can be clueless sometimes.”
“So it seems,” I agreed.
“You go all macho-take-charge on us and still don’t see things right in front of your face.” Melissa stepped close. “Jamie and Aaron are now ready to follow you to Hell and back. Barry and Randi have your back, and Teresa has finally shut up now that you’re talkin’ and takin’ charge. Add in the short blonde with the mega-crush and the fact that Emily is standing there watching you and Thalia while practically bursting into tears…”
Emily? What could her problem be? Oh my God! I am clueless. She’s lost her mom, now her dad. She was entrusted to me and I’ve just figured somebody would watch over her. I should be the one taking care of her. I gave my word. Tomorrow was gonna be a busy day.
“…have known considering how oblivious you were when we first hooked up,” Melissa was still talking.
“Yeah,” I put a finger over her mouth, “Well things are gonna change around here.”
“I really like this new attitude.”
Soft lips touched mine.
7
Vignettes IX
Peter rolled to a stop. The third set of smoldering ruins that he passed a few miles back was the final warning and he’d taken it. Somebody (or bodies) was roaming these parts, and they were none too friendly by all signs. That last body hanging from that big tree hadn’t been dead or undead long. The blood was still wet looking.