by Brown, TW
Obviously we were going to spend the night here together and wait out the storm. Billy built a fire and pulled a few things from his pack. He barely even acknowledged the meat I added to the little feast, but I guess being pissed off makes a person less likely to show appreciation for the little things. Also, to be fair, he did have plenty of food. It wasn’t like he was going to go hungry if I hadn’t thrown in my rack of pork ribs.
“So the main army is just gone?” Billy sounded incredulous. “It seems too unlikely.”
“Not if the main part of the real fighting force is that group led by that guy Randy,” I offered around a mouthful of charred pork flesh.
“Well, it is a shame about Jackson,” Billy sighed, leaning back against the wall and handing me the canteen.
There was a long silence and I was not in a hurry to break it. Despite the last few minutes being relatively pleasant, Billy had torn me a new one almost every single time that he’d opened his mouth. Granted, I pretty much deserved it, but a person can get tired of hearing how bad they screwed up after a while.
“So how is everybody?” I couldn’t stand it and had to ask.
“Melissa and Stevie are fine,” Billy replied, knowing very well what I meant to ask. “Considering how she has been on my ass since your last trip out, I would say that she has taken this little escapade rather well…considering.” There was something in that tone that made me a little nervous. “And Stevie…he just thinks that you are invulnerable and will always come back.”
“So why are you out here?” I asked. It seemed like a good question.
“I made a promise a long time ago to Steve. I told him that I would keep an eye on you.”
“I am sure that you have lived up to your promise. I am not a child anymore.”
“Yes, Thalia, like it or not, yes you are still a child. I will grant that this is not the world that I grew up in, but that does not change biology. You are still a kid. We have created Platypus Creek just for that sort of thing. We have tried to carve out a little piece of civilization where things can be a teensy bit normal.”
“But I don’t want to be normal…whatever that is supposed to mean. I want to be like you, and Jim, and Paula. I want to be a fighter and a protector. I want to do something besides cook meals and work in a garden.”
Now it was apparently Billy’s turn to be quiet. I could see something brewing behind his eyes and I was not sure it was something I wanted to hear. At last he closed his eyes and leaned back against the wall. When he started talking, I could hear the strain in his voice.
“Melissa isn’t doing well, kiddo. You don’t remember what it was like in the beginning with her. Hell, I barely do. That is mostly probably due to me just being a kid myself back then, plus all the chaos we faced every single day, but I do remember a few very particular instances with her that might have been warnings of things to come. She is not always…here.” He tapped his temple as he spoke. “The day that you left on this little excursion, it was Stevie who told us you were missing. Only, he told Dr. Zahn first. The reason being is that apparently Melissa was going about her day like nothing was wrong when he eventually discovered that you were gone. That was after a full day out at the garden trying to arrange some cuttings and such in the event that we had to abandon Platypus Creek. When he asked her where you were, she said that you were probably outside playing with Emily.”
I let that sink in. That didn’t make any sense to me. Why would she say I was with Emily?
“She thinks Steve is out on a run and should be back any day now,” Billy added after I just sat there with no idea what to say.
I was stunned. How long had she been like this was the first thing that came to mind. Apparently Billy saw it on my face.
“She’s been slipping for months. That is why Paula and Jim have basically taken you under their wings and shared you.” He took a drink of water and then continued. “And I’ve been keeping tabs on Stevie. He’s a pretty smart little guy. We haven’t really ever talked about it, but I am certain that he knows. That is why he stays so busy but still stays so close to home.”
I felt terrible. For pretty much the past few years, I’d put distance between myself and Melissa. It wasn’t anything personal, I just never felt like she was all that attached to me and I had come to be okay with that. It didn’t change anything about how I felt towards little Stevie, he was my baby brother and I would fight anybody who said otherwise; but Melissa was just Melissa in my eyes.
“That still doesn’t tell me why you are out here looking for me. I mean, sure, you promised Steve you’d watch over me. But I would think that the community is a bit more important. Isn’t that why everybody was so quick to write Jackson off?” I asked.
“Nobody wrote him off, but we also knew that there was no reasonable way that we could go after him with any hope of being successful. What good would it do to lose three or four people trying to rescue one? That was a logic that went by the wayside when the scales tipped in the favor of the zombies. Now, every life is important on its own right. Nobody is more or less valuable.”
I didn’t think that was entirely true, but I understood. Yet, here he was, out looking for me; that sort of flew in the face of his answer and I let him know it. He didn’t reply for a while, and I had started to drift off thinking that perhaps he had made the choice not to answer.
“Just because you know something to be right or wrong does not mean you always act on it in the right way. This was purely a selfish and emotional action on my part.” I opened my mouth to say something to the effect that I had been guilty of the same thing, but Billy was not done talking. “And unlike you, I told Paula and Jim where I was going, the route I was going to use, and the latest that I would allow myself to be absent.”
I shut my mouth with an audible click. It may have been my imagination, but I thought I heard Billy stifle a laugh. It was growing dark and our fire was down to just the embers which made it impossible to see his face now as darkness took full possession of the world outside and ushered in the steady drumming of rain that fell hard on the roof.
I fell asleep to that sound, my mind not knowing quite how to process everything that had just been dumped in my lap. It made me wonder how people dealt with this sort of thing before the zombies—and by “this sort of thing” I mean Melissa’s erratic behavior. I’ve heard that there was a label for everything, and a pill that supposedly made it better. Right now, I wished that I had one of those magic pills for Melissa.
***
“On your feet, kiddo,” Billy chirped. He sounded way too cheery for as dark as it looked outside. To make matters worse, it sounded like the rain had only gotten heavier. I could barely hear him talking over the steady beat of it on the roof of the tower we’d spent the night in.
We stepped outside and I was almost instantly drenched. The rain was coming down in sheets. I guess that is just another difference between me and Billy; I would have opted to stay inside until this hopefully passed over or at least died down.
We set a hard pace and I had to wonder if maybe Billy was punishing me for my having left like I did. When we stopped for the first quick break of the day, I thought it was maybe to grab a bite to eat. Instead, Billy grabbed my arm and spun me around so that I could see the handful of zombies staggering out of the woods.
These were old and lacking any sort of clothing. We quickly split up and took them down. I dropped two and he took down the other three. It was fast and so effortless that it almost made me dismiss them as threats. The only reason that I didn’t is because of what I’d witnessed the past couple of weeks as well as my last encounter where a few of them were almost enough to take me down. If nothing else came of that little excursion, at least I had a renewed respect of the zombie as a threat once more.
By the time it was past midday, the worst of the weather had blown over. That didn’t do much good since I was already soaking wet. Also, while the rain had lessened, the wind was taking its place. If we stopped
for even a few minutes, my teeth began to chatter. Still, no matter how miserable I might be, I was not about to complain or show any signs that I was uncomfortable. (Except for my teeth chattering—which I had zero chance of stopping, short of wiring my jaw shut—but since Billy’s were doing the same thing, I figured I was okay on that aspect of my misery being visible.)
As the sky began to darken, I was feeling anxious. I knew by the landmarks we were passing that we would be home before nightfall. When the walls eventually loomed ahead, I had to stop myself from running the rest of the way.
After clearing the gate security, Billy took me straight to the old cabin. I shot him a confused look, but he didn’t say anything. When we reached it, I was surprised to discover Sunshine, Dr. Zahn, and Melissa sitting at a table eating dinner. This place was a meeting hall and where the committees and security teams usually met. For some reason, a long table had been set up in the entry area which is where the three women were eating a bowl of some sort of stew.
When Melissa looked up at me, there was something on her face that flashed very briefly. When she spoke, I realized that what I had probably seen was recognition. Unfortunately, it did not stay long.
“Billy, any word from the group?” Melissa asked.
I shot a look at Sunshine and Dr. Zahn; they both gave very brief nods, but then returned to eating. Billy began to shed his field weapons and hang them on a rack near the door that I’d never seen before.
“Any day now, Melissa,” he said as if that were the normal and proper response.
“Who is the new girl?” Melissa asked. “She could pass for Thalia’s older sister.”
“My name is Thalia, pleased to meet you,” I said with a smile, extending my hand to Melissa.
“That is amazing. It is such a unique name…and now we have two…” Melissa’s voice faded and she just stared straight ahead now, a little bit of drool making a path down her chin and dangling for just a moment before breaking loose and landing with a splat on the table.
Dr. Zahn glanced over her shoulder and Cynthia Byrd bustled in. I watched as she came to Melissa, draping a blanket over her shoulder as she whispered into Melissa’s ear and helped her to her feet. All I could do is watch as the two exited the room. If that was painful to observe, then seeing the look on Stevie’s face as he emerged from the bathroom, his eyes locked on the door that his mother had just vanished through, was even worse.
In that moment, he looked so young and frail. None of the prankster and incredibly bright youngster that I had come to know was visible. He turned his head; when his eyes locked on mine, I saw a bit of that sparkle appear and he rushed to my arms that had flung open of their own volition.
“Thalia!” he croaked. I hugged him and felt him almost melt into me.
“Nice to see you back, young lady,” Dr. Zahn said in that voice that let me know I was in a bit of trouble.
“I think I’ll go see if Cynthia can use my help,” Sunshine excused herself.
“I would stay here with Thalia, but I can tell that the adults want to talk to her,” Stevie sniffed, his voice muffled from being pressed to my belly.
He pulled away from me and quickly wiped away the tears. I could see that he wanted to say something, but there was an uncharacteristic hesitancy. I nodded to him, indicating that he should say what was on his mind.
“Please don’t leave again.”
Those four words punched me in the gut. I had been so focused on what I felt I needed to do that I had completely discarded everybody’s feelings. While the adults like Billy, Paula, and Dr. Zahn might have a fondness for me and care about my well-being, I was family to Stevie. In this world, that little word has taken on a very deep meaning. I’ve heard some folks say that families had sort of fallen out of the degree of importance we hold them now. Supposedly, some people only spoke to family at holidays or special events in the Old World days. Very few hung out and just did things together because they wanted to spend time with each other.
He didn’t wait for an answer, he just turned around and left the room through the same door that Cynthia Byrd had escorted Melissa through. That left me with Billy and Dr. Zahn. A noise behind me made me turn around. I think my groan was inward, but it might have escaped. Paula walked in, her eyes flicking to me for just a moment before shifting to Billy.
“Jim says to start without him, he will be here in a bit,” Paula announced.
Jeez, was this a planned ass-chewing? How much trouble was I in exactly?
“Tell them what you saw,” Billy said, pulling out a chair and taking a seat.
I looked at Dr. Zahn and Paula who both simply stared back at me like I might have something important to share. I started in on relating everything that I could remember seeing and hearing. I mentioned how both Billy’s and Dr. Zahn’s name had come out specifically. As I shared this, I tried to see if maybe there might be a spark of recognition when I talked about Commander Suzi McFarlane. If she knew the woman, there was no sign of it on her face.
During my recounting, Jim walked in. He gave me a smile and a nod and then slipped into a chair beside Paula. His smile vanished when I told about Jackson’s fate. I thought it might return when I shared how Suzi had died, but he just sat there with no expression. Finally, I finished with my report or whatever this was supposed to be.
“So we now apparently only have one faction to worry about,” Billy said, clapping his hands together as he stood up. I think that was my cue in regards to the fact that my part in this was all over. I waited for the inevitable dismissal. “I think sitting here and just waiting for this group to come for us is a mistake. While I don’t think it wise for us to venture out far from our walls, I do believe that we need to get people out on the perimeter in some of the old defensive positions.”
I continued to wait for my dismissal as Billy laid out plans for the defense of Platypus Creek. I listened as Paula and Jim each added to the plan and also as Dr. Zahn would explain some of the finer details when it came to dealing with people who had actual military background.
At last, I finally grew bold enough to talk. “What about Kayla?”
They all turned and looked at me with an assortment of expressions. Paula was pretty much blank, Jim looked confused, Dr. Zahn…well, she just looked like Dr. Zahn; but it was the look on Billy’s face that told me the answer.
“So we just leave her to perhaps the same or a worse fate than Jackson?” I directed my question to Billy since he was the only one who seemed like he would respond.
“We have gone over that. I hope we get her back when this is done. Hell, we may even be able to work a prisoner exchange if this battle goes on for a while.”
“When did we decide that a life is no longer worth saving?” This question was tossed back at the entire group.
“Since the days that risking two or more lives for the purpose of maybe saving one became a case of bad math.” Dr. Zahn stood up and folded her arms across her chest as she fixed me with her gaze. “You had best start learning that little hard nugget of truth. You may be required to make choices someday. Those choices might result in the death of one or many. You may be forced to choose one life over another…or the entire community.”
“Why would I need to make a choice like that?” I asked.
“We are not going to live forever, Thalia,” Paula said with almost no emotion. “The day will come when you and the younger people here will be asked to step forward and take the reins. The days of allowing you and the other youngsters to sit back and coast are a thing of the past. Maybe the next generation will have an easier go of it if we can secure this place, but right now we live in a world where the next in line has to be ready…whether they think they are or not.”
I sat back and continued to listen to the plans. Only, as I listened, I found myself paying attention in a way that I never had done before. In the past, I was content to just be pointed in a direction and told what to do; now, I saw things in a different light.
The meeting went on for another couple of hours. By the time it was over, it seemed like we had a solid defense against Randy and his people if they chose to attack.
***
“Thanks for letting Stevie stay with you,” I said to Cynthia as I set the bag down inside the door.
“I seem to be the flop house for the kids of all the people heading out tonight,” Cynthia said with a pleasant laugh. “It’s actually kind of nice.”
I looked to see Jenna Haynes sitting at a table with Cynthia’s son Xander and a few other kids that I didn’t recall the names of off the top of my head. They were playing some sort of handmade board game with a bunch of little carved figures. Jenna turned as we walked in and smiled big. She waved at Stevie and patted the empty seat next to her.
I looked down at him and gave his hand a squeeze. He returned the gesture and then started across the room. He was not halfway when he spun suddenly and sprinted back, throwing his arms around my waist.
“Please come back,” he whispered.
“You know I will do my best,” I said honestly. Part of me wanted to promise and tell him that everything would be fine, but we made it a point not to lie to each other for any reason.
He went over to join the others and I had to fight back my tears as I watched him. He’d been so brave these past few days. What made it worse was that apparently Melissa had been slipping for quite a while but he had not told anybody. The little boy had believed for the longest time that Melissa would be fine. At some point, he finally decided that she was acting strange and maybe a doctor needed to be called. He’d gone for Dr. Zahn the night he’d walked out to the living room to find Melissa sitting in the middle of the floor. No matter what he said, she had not responded. His fear was that she had somehow become a zombie. I think that might have been merciful.