by Jane Godman
Ged’s shoulders slumped as he felt despair hit him all over again. “I know. Alyona was attacked because of me.”
Pauwau shook her head. “No.” She raised a hand, directing his gaze to the porch where Lidi was chatting quietly with Andrei and Sasha. “Alyona was to be your wife. Vasily has sworn to take your mate. Your one true love.”
Ged stilled, shock and truth hitting him like twin punches to his gut. His brain tried to shut down. Too much. Can’t take it. At the same time, his heart gave a sigh of relief and acceptance. At last. Just admit it and get on with loving her. Unfortunately, reality had a way of intruding. Usually the old barriers got in the way. A lost kingdom, an ancient agreement between five noble families, a fragile heart too afraid of the past to let go...this time there were questions. So many of them he hardly knew where to start.
“How could Vasily possibly know Lidi was my mate? I didn’t know it myself. We hadn’t even met when he decided he wanted to marry her.”
Pauwau shrugged. “I am relaying the information given to me by the spirits.”
“That’s the problem with spirits. They have a tendency to be even more enigmatic than bears,” Ged said. “I remember how Zoya, Vasily’s mother, always consulted her personal spirit guide before she took any action.”
“She sounds like a sensible woman. The spirits steer us wisely.”
“It used to drive my father demented. He said she couldn’t decide what to wear without conferring with her oracle.” Ged smiled at the memory. “Take me back a step to why all of this is connected to Andrei’s injuries.”
“That’s where things become less clear to me. Vasily is the key to everything—of that I’m sure. And I’m also convinced that the person who arranged to have you and Andrei removed from the palace meant you no harm.” Pauwau gave a frustrated sigh. “But, in trying to ensure your safety, something went wrong. Perhaps the spell she cast on you failed. Or the people she entrusted to bring you here didn’t carry out her orders the way she wanted. Possibly it was a combination of both. Whatever happened, you were left with physical injuries and emotional scars.”
“I always believed that was the intention,” Ged said. “Certainly in my case. Mess me up so badly I would never go back.” And it had worked. Until now, his fear of returning to Callistoya had been a greater impediment than the spell that prevented him from crossing the border.
“That’s not what I feel.” Pauwau turned her face up to the night sky. “Modern technology would have us believe that we live in an ever-changing world, but we know the truth. You are a shifter. Like me, you understand the earth and its magic. Andrei believes his injuries were caused when he was attacked. They weren’t. When he was removed from the palace and brought to the mortal world, some fundamental change took place within him. His confidence was destroyed.” She cast a sidelong glance in Ged’s direction. “The same way yours was.”
Ged smiled. “For the last thirteen years, I have managed one of the most successful rock bands in the world while also running an underground rescue network for endangered shifters. Do you really think I lack confidence?”
“Yes.” Her answer shook him with its blunt truth. “We both know the image you present to the world is not the reality of who you are.”
He frowned. Not going there. “You are saying that Andrei’s condition is caused because he had convinced himself he can’t walk?”
“That’s it, my friend. Deflect attention from yourself.” Pauwau’s smile deepened and she continued before he could protest. “Yes. Your brother’s psyche has been badly damaged and his physical symptoms mask a deep emotional distress.”
Ged rubbed a hand over his face. “He is a shifter, so his adopted parents would have had limited access to medical care.”
“It’s possible conventional doctors—human or shifter—would not have reached this conclusion. They could have spent his whole life searching for an underlying medical cause.”
“But you can cure him?” Ged asked.
“I can show him how to cure himself,” Pauwau said. “Then it will be up to him.”
Ged looked across at the porch again, seeing the figure of his brother in the wheelchair. “Surely he will take that chance?”
“I hope so.” Pauwau took his hand as she got to her feet. “But what about you? Even though it didn’t take away your ability to walk, the harm done to you was just as real and devastating. Will you take this chance to heal your heart?”
* * *
Lidi watched Ged as he approached them with Pauwau at his side. He walked like a man in a trance, but his face wore the stunned expression of someone who had just been given life-changing news.
She wanted to run to him and wrap her arms around his waist. Most of all, she wanted to drive that lost look from his eyes. Did he know she felt that way about him? That her heart had become so entwined with his that even the tiniest pain he felt was like an arrow piercing her flesh?
Cut him and I bleed. Burn him and I scar. Hurt him and I will fight you to the death.
He couldn’t know that was how she felt. Not unless she told him. She smiled sadly, knowing she would never be able to do that. The standards of their world were simple. Bear before human. Follow the orders of the council. Don’t allow emotion to cloud your judgment. Although Lidi understood the Callistoya code, she had never been able to follow it. Ged, as ruler of the bear-shifter state, had to lead by example. Once he regained his crown, he would have to live and breathe those rules.
That meant he would not be able to ask Lidi to be his wife, even if he wanted to. He would be constrained by the decree that stated that he must marry within one of the five founding families.
The thought was like acid in her veins, driving out the sweetness of her longing for him. The irony of her mother’s words came back to her now. “Cursed with feelings.” That was how she had described her daughter.
Would I change who I am? Given a choice, would I be more like my mother so I didn’t have to feel this knife thrust every time I look at him and know that one day I will watch him walk away?
The answer to her question lay in the smile Ged gave her as he drew closer. Because when he looked at her that way, the warmth in his eyes touched her soul. She would never trade her own ability to feel and replace it with the bear-shifter coldness she was supposed to cultivate. All she had to do was convince Ged she was still playing by the “keep it light” rules.
“Okay?” His eyes scanned her face, making her wonder how well her plan was working.
“Fine.” She pinned on a bright smile and knew by the way his brow drew together that she was overdoing it. Seeking a distraction, she pointed to a large dog bed in one corner of the porch. “Does that look like a familiar scene?”
Bruno was sprawled in the middle of the dog bed, while Jet and Sable lay on the wooden boards nearby. Ged laughed. “If I ever get my crown back, I’ll expect a challenge from that dog in the near future.”
“I think the canine will win.” Although Andrei smiled, he appeared nervous. “Are we going to do this?”
Ged nodded. “Let’s get on with it.”
Pauwau came to kneel beside Andrei’s wheelchair. Placing her hands on his knees, she gazed into his eyes. “I can take away the toxin that another has placed inside your body. That has poisoned your soul—it has not damaged your limbs. Once the contamination has been removed, you are the only one who can heal your legs. To do that, you must believe in your ability to walk again.”
Andrei raised his eyes to Ged’s face. “Do you think I can do this?”
“You are a Tavisha.” Lidi could see the pride of generations of Callistoya royalty in Ged’s expression. “You can do anything.”
Andrei nodded. “Then let’s get on with it.”
Pauwau closed her eyes and began to hum softly under her breath. Almost immediately, Andrei started to tremble all over. After a wh
ile, the tremors became more violent until he was shaking like a young tree in a thunderstorm.
All around her, Lidi could feel the air shimmering, not only with tiny shards of ice, but also with a different energy. Pressure, powerful, elemental and positive, was increasing all around them.
As she turned her head to look at Ged, she could see that Andrei wasn’t the only one who was feeling the full impact of Pauwau’s treatment. Although the effects were less pronounced in his case, Ged was pale and shivering as though he had been struck by a sudden fever.
As Lidi was about to go to him, Pauwau rocked back on her heels. Tilting her head to the skies, she gave a single hoarse cry. The force that had been building reached its peak before swirling around them like an invisible river breaking its banks. Then it was gone. Andrei slumped forward in his chair and Ged shook his head as though waking from a deep sleep.
As Pauwau got to her feet and moved away from the wheelchair, Sasha took her place. Kneeling beside Andrei, she took his hands, rubbing them as he took a few deep, shuddering breaths.
Pauwau staggered slightly and Lidi caught hold of her, steadying her. The other woman smiled her thanks. “It uses a lot of energy.”
“Is that it?” Lidi asked. “Is it over?”
“I have done my part. The poisonous spell that was cast thirteen years ago has been removed.” She looked at Ged as she spoke. “From both of you.”
“I feel...” He looked stunned. “Lighter.”
Pauwau laughed. “That is an illusion. Your physical weight is unchanged. Don’t ask me to carry you, my friend.”
Lidi could see him struggling to achieve a smile. “What happens now?”
Pauwau patted his hand. “That, as I told you, is up to you and your brother.”
* * *
It was almost midnight and the wind had dropped when Ged and Lidi went for a walk. Andrei, exhausted by the healing ceremony, had fallen asleep in his wheelchair without talking about what had happened. So far he had made no attempt to use his legs. Sasha, reluctant to leave him even when he was sleeping, was helping Pauwau prepare supper.
Bruno, having sleepily opened one eye as they left the house, was now bounding ahead of them, examining every pebble and blade of grass and attempting to eat the occasional unseen object.
Ever since Pauwau had performed her ritual, a strange peace had settled over Ged. After spending so long battling his feelings of guilt and inadequacy, it was as if he had finally reached an awareness of who he was. He had been trying so hard to achieve perfection when all he needed was to accept that he was the best person to follow in his father’s footsteps. He knew it now, and that was good enough for him.
He paused, looking down at Lidi’s face in the moonlight. Her smile gave him a hint of new hope. Maybe he was one person’s idea of perfection? Or at least the mate Lidi wanted? If that was true, it was more than he had ever dreamed of. And for the first time, instead of seeing obstacles, he started to think of possibilities.
“You look like the cat who has got the cream.” She moved closer, resting her cheek against his chest.
“Uh-uh. Let’s not talk about cats.” He pointed to Bruno. “We already have one pet. Besides, we don’t want to make Khan, the ultimate alpha feline, jealous.”
“You make it sound like we’ll see Khan again soon,” Lidi said.
“That’s the plan.” He ran his hand down the length of her hair, enjoying its silken feel.
She sighed. “Do we have a plan? Beyond the pretense that I will marry Vasily?”
“We have several plans, all of which will become clear at the royal Christmas-Eve ball.”
Although the Callistoyans did not follow the Christian traditions of the festive season, they enjoyed the color and vibrancy of its customs. Trees, decorations, parties and the giving of presents had become part of the winter way of life in his homeland. The Christmas-Eve ball, held in the royal palace, was attended by all the noble families of Callistoya.
“Before we go back and start partying, we’d better follow Pauwau’s instructions,” Ged said.
Between them, they carried the items the healer had given them. Ged held a fireproof dish, an old-fashioned brass compass and a candle. Lidi had tucked four pieces of paper, a piece of charcoal and a box of matches into the pocket of her padded coat.
Pauwau had been very precise. They were to write the names of the northern, southern, eastern and westernmost places in Callistoya on each of the pieces of paper. Lidi took out the piece of charcoal and started writing. Once she was finished, Ged took out the compass.
“North.” He turned to face that direction. Lidi placed the piece of paper with the word Aras, her own home county, written on it into the bowl. Solemnly, Ged struck a match and set light to the piece of paper. They watched it catch fire and blacken. When it had turned to ash, they repeated the process with the other three compass directions.
Once all four pieces of paper had been burned, Lidi sighed. “Pauwau said that means the spirits who control the earth’s magnetic fields will now open the borders. Vasily’s spell is destroyed and Callistoya is no longer closed to you. She also said that Bruno, who is an enchanted being, can come with us, as well.”
Ged closed his eyes briefly, relishing the chill air in his face and her warm presence. It was finally happening. The dream that been out of reach for so long was becoming a reality. Step by step, he was moving toward his homeland. Tomorrow they would fly to Moscow and then to Siberia. That was the last leg of the human journey. After that, they would use their shifter abilities to get them across the mountain range and into Callistoya. The revolution had begun.
Would it rest with him and Lidi, or would Andrei and Sasha be able to join them? That question still remained unanswered. And once they arrived in Callistoya, Lidi had the hardest job of all. Her acting abilities would be tested to their limits as she pretended to capitulate to Vasily’s demands. Ged, meanwhile, would make contact with his uncle and the other members of the resistance.
There was still a long way to go, but he smiled as he drew Lidi into his arms. “We’re going home.”
“And we won’t be not alone.” Her gaze fixed on something over his shoulder and Ged turned slowly to see what she was looking at.
His heart gave a thud of joy as, holding Sasha’s hand on one side and Pauwau’s on the other, Andrei walked toward them.
Chapter 16
The wild beauty of the Siberian landscape reminded Lidi of the northern territory of Callistoya. Breathing in the pure mountain air and drinking from the crystal clear water of the lakes and rivers made her heart soar. They were getting close. She could feel her homeland in her blood.
After hiring a Jeep, they had left civilization behind and were now in a land of snow, ice and forests. Ged had been concerned about his brother’s ability to cope with the demanding conditions.
“I won’t slow you down,” Andrei promised.
“You know that’s not what worries me,” Ged said. “You’ve only just started walking again after thirteen years in a wheelchair. I don’t want to do anything that will cause a setback to your health.”
So far, Ged’s fears had been unfounded. Andrei seemed to become more energized with each passing mile. The only thing that saddened Ged was that Pauwau’s spell hadn’t restored his brother’s memory.
“I don’t remember Callistoya, but I can feel something new.” Andrei breathed deeply. “As though I have a deeper recollection imprinted in my cells and, as we get closer, it’s revitalizing me.”
Lidi smiled. “I’ve only been away from home once, but I know there’s nowhere like it.”
“What about me?” Sasha asked. “I don’t belong there.”
“You are one of us,” Lidi said. “The Callistoya borders are magical. Closed to humans, but open to shifters. You will be welcome in our homeland.”
“Except f
or being part of the plot to kill the king,” Sasha reminded her.
“Ah, yes. But the plan is to kill the Usurper, the man who calls himself king.” Lidi felt her features harden at the thought that she would soon be face-to-face with Vasily. She had never met him, but he had dominated her life recently. “He will not do so for much longer.”
Ged remained silent, his eyes fixed on the view ahead of them. Lidi knew why. The mountains they could see belonged in the human world. But there was another set of peaks, just out of sight. They were the Aras Range, the border between Siberia and Callistoya. Visible only to shifters and other enchanted beings, they were the gateway to the magical land that would take them back in time.
There were no roads here and, as the climb became too steep for the vehicle, Ged called a halt. “This will be easier if we shift, but we face the problem of arriving in Callistoya with no clothing.”
“We can go straight to Aras House,” Lidi said. “My childhood home is situated just over the border in the northernmost mountains. The servants are loyal to my family. We can spend the night there in safety while we arrange the journey south.”
“I have to carry my disguise.” Ged held up the cloth bag he had bought in Genoa. Inside were his wig and false beard. It had a cord that he could slip over his neck so even when he was in bear form he would be able to keep it with him. “Once we reach the palace, I’ll have to wear this at all times. Vasily hasn’t seen me for thirteen years, so I’m hoping that the disguise, coupled with the fact that he won’t expect me to have the audacity to enter his stronghold, will buy me enough time to get everything in place.”
Lidi wasn’t so sure. Her fear was that Vasily would be hyperalert and on the lookout for Ged’s return. “You will also need to stay out of his way,” she said, firmly.
“He is the king—for now—and I will be disguised as your servant. I don’t imagine we’ll have much interaction.” She wasn’t reassured that he would avoid trouble, particularly when he went for a swift change of subject and nodded at Bruno, who had turned his face into the wind. His eyes were half-closed against the chill, his ears were blowing back and his expression was almost thoughtful. “Are you sure about the dog? Pauwau reassured us that he is indeed an enchanted animal, so he will have no problems entering Callistoya, but taking a canine into the land where dogs are hated is not going to be a popular move.”