Outside the car windows, the trees spun by in a blur. The rain spattered against the windshield and she fumbled for the wiper switch. Her breath was slowing now, the tightness in her chest was softening. She glanced into the rearview mirror. No one there.
It only took a few minutes to get to the police station. She wiped her face on her sleeve and waited for a minute or two before she got out of the car, assembling her face as best she could into hard lines of the Snow Queen. The little lobby was cold, quiet, and empty, and no one was visible at the security window, so she rang the buzzer and waited.
“Is Ryan Anderson—District Attorney Ryan Anderson—here? I need to see him.” Her voice sounded squeaky and she swallowed. “I would like to see him, please, if he’s here.”
The voice through the microphone was tinny but not unkind. “Nope. You just missed him—he got called up to Anchorage. I think he’ll probably be back here tomorrow. You can leave a message with me if you want. Or can someone else help you?” The voice paused. “Would you like to speak with one of the police officers?”
She remembered all too well the smirking face of the cop who’d seen her the first day she came here, the one who suggested that she was wasting police time, that she had a secret admirer. Cass shook her head no. That was the last thing she wanted.
“No, no, I’ll come back tomorrow. It’s not important.” She backed away from the window and dropped into a plastic chair by the door. Her thoughts were less scattered now, and calmer. She glanced out the window. The rain was letting up, and some thin streaks of sunlight pushed through, lightening the gloom of the late afternoon. She let her head fall back against the lobby wall.
Maybe it was time to tell Nick about all this. She rubbed her forehead. She’d panicked when she found the heart drawn on the paper under the dead waxwing, but there wasn’t any clue that anyone was still around. The other things she’d found had just been left, and this was probably the same. She’d pull herself together and go back to the cabin, for a few minutes, and cover the bowls so they wouldn’t dry too quickly and crack. If she didn’t, an entire day’s work would be lost. She’d let Cat in and feed him and she’d grab her bag and maybe go out to the boat and find Nick. Or maybe she’d go over and see if she could spend the night on Katy’s couch. Cass could make up a story, some reason to need to stay, and Katy probably wouldn’t mind. And tomorrow, Ryan would be back and he would know what to do.
She squared her shoulders as she left the lobby, staring straight ahead, then climbed into the jeep and nosed it out of the parking lot and onto the highway.
Chapter 22
When the jeep rolled to a stop in front of her cabin, everything was just as she’d left it. She scanned the horizon and saw only the empty meadow, and beyond that the row of spruce trees, a dull, drab green against the pewter sky. Dark clouds had closed in again, and Cat was huddled against the front door, trying to stay out of the rain. He dashed in behind her when she ran inside and slammed the door. Her hands shook as she opened a can of cat food and dumped it into a bowl, and with fast, jerky movements, she grabbed and threw a veil of plastic sheeting over the shelves of drying bowls. She shoved a toothbrush, a comb, a clean pair of panties into her purse. That would do until tomorrow.
A noise, a tread, a scrape whispered on the front porch. She whipped around to face the door and froze, listening. Nothing. No sound, just the steady drip of rain. She pulled her breath in, deep, and moved to the window. Nothing there. Nothing moving but the swoop of a raven high up, heading for the trees.
She opened the door slowly, only halfway, staring out. Nothing there. But as she pulled the door full open, a torn sheet of paper, taped by one corner to the middle of the door, flapped into her field of vision. She snatched it down and slid back inside, slamming the door.
The crumpled note trembled in her shaking fingers.
It’s time for us to be together.
The block printed words in smudgy pencil spewed across the middle of the wrinkled paper. Adrenaline zinged in electric spikes through her body.
Cass’ eyes darted to the four corners of the big studio room. No one there. The meadow outside the windows sat empty and dull and soaked flat by the steady cold rain. As the wind gusted, the plops of water from the eaves and the occasional rattle of drops against the windows were the only sounds.
Her breath caught in her throat as if someone were holding her tight, keeping her lungs from opening. She had to leave. She had to find Nick.
Grabbing her bag, she rummaged through it, searching for her cell phone, finally dumping everything onto the hand-building table in desperation. No phone. She was panting now, and blood pounded against her ears. It was hard to think. She hardly used her cell phone, sometimes not for days at a time, but she always kept her phone in her purse. It had to be there, and yet it wasn’t there.
She moaned, leaning against the table. She’d just leave, get to safety, figure this out. Tiny movements stirred and fluttered in her abdomen as she pressed her hand against her stomach. Get to safety.
She snatched her wallet and keys from the tumbled mess on the table and headed out the door, letting it slam behind her. Her eyes darted left and right but no one was there, just the wet drab meadow and in the distance, the rough echoing caw of a raven. A slap of icy, damp wind whipped her hair into her face and she shuddered as her eyes watered. The old jeep door creaked as she shoved it open, her stiff fingers fumbling with the key as she jabbed it into the ignition and twisted it. Nothing but a click, no answering roar from the engine. A sob tore from her throat. She twisted it again. Click.
She could walk. There was no one around. She would walk, no she would run, over to the Selwicks. Roberta would probably be home and everything would be all right. She would be safe. She pushed herself out of the jeep and into the road.
The spit of pebbles rattled behind her. Her heart leapt into her throat and she spun around, and almost collapsed with relief. The cheery red Suburban that delivered groceries and supplies from Safeway was inching up the road, with Johnnie behind the wheel, bumping up and down on the driver’s seat, grinning and waving at her. She waved desperately back at him in return, with both arms, afraid that, somehow, he would disappear or pass her by, though there was no other direction he could go.
The Suburban rocked to a stop behind the jeep as Johnnie rolled down his window and called out a hello. He leaned far over to the passenger seat and then righted himself, holding up a phone. “Hey, Cassandra, we think this is yours. We found it at the checkout right after you left yesterday.”
Her shoulders sagged in relief. Yes, she had been at Safeway yesterday. The phone must have slipped out of her purse when she paid. “Yes, yes,” she stuttered. She ran over to the window and took the phone, cradling it close to her chest. “Thank you so much, Johnnie, I didn’t know what had happened to it...and then my jeep wouldn’t start...” She was breathless and embarrassed that she’d panicked so quickly.
Johnnie opened the Suburban’s door and slid his gangly body down the high seat. His feet landed with a sludgy pop into the stiff mud. He stood, staring at the jeep, his hands in the pockets of his too-small jacket, his elbows splaying outward. “I’m sorry, Cassandra, but I’m not very good with engines. I don’t think I can help you with the jeep.”
She nodded, not really paying attention. She was pressing all the usual buttons on the phone, but nothing was happening. No beeps, no lights. It shouldn’t be dead. Maybe it broke when it dropped out of her purse at Safeway.
“Look, I’ve just got to drop off a delivery to the Stevens’ place down the road. Hop in and I can take you at the Chevron station on the way back. Or you can come back to Safeway if you like.” He smiled down into the mud, as usual too shy to meet her eyes. She took a deep breath and felt her tense shoulder muscles release.
“Thank you, oh, thank you.” She was still befuddled but it would all work out now. She could walk to the dock from Safeway and at this time of day, Nick was almost certainly on the
boat. Wherever he was, she would find him. She pulled open the passenger door and settled into the seat with a sigh, looking back at the cabin as Johnnie backed the Suburban into a wide spot to turn it around. Cat stared back at her out the window, mouthing urgent silent meows, pawing at the glass. Cass frowned. Cat never minded being left alone when she left. He must be reacting to her panic. Well, he would be fine.
The rain lessened as they rocked back down the road and turned away from town. Cass closed her eyes and pressed the back of her head against the slippery vinyl seat. She would go back to the police today, and this time she would ask Nick to go with her. They wouldn’t wait for Ryan to get back. It was time she told Nick about all of this. He would make the police take this seriously.
She opened her eyes when low hanging branches rattled across the top of the car. The road had narrowed, and the ruts were deeper and more treacherous. The Suburban was struggling.
“Where do the Stevens live?” she asked. “I don’t even know what road we’re on.”
“Oh, they’re a ways out,” he replied. “Mike sends me out with their groceries every couple weeks or so. They don’t come to town much.” He stared steadily at the road ahead, hunched over the wheel.
She turned and looked into the back of the Suburban.
It was empty.
***
The Suburban lurched into a deep rut, banging Cass’ shoulder hard against the dashboard. She shoved herself back upwards, turning to face Johnnie, a silent scream echoing inside her head.
“Where are the groceries?” Her throat had closed, so her voice was thin and gravelly.
Johnnie smiled, still staring at the road ahead.
“I think you know there aren’t any groceries.”
She stopped breathing. Blood thundered in her ears. Her fingers bit into her palms as she pushed words out of her frozen mouth.
“Johnnie…” She forced a breath. “What’s going on here? Where are you—where are we—going?”
“We’ve been playing this game long enough. It’s time now. We are supposed to be together and you know it too.” She barely recognized his voice. The few times Johnnie had spoken to her, he had been quiet, almost apologetic, as if his effort to talk was acutely embarrassing. Now, he spoke calmly, evenly, even casually.
“Stop this car right now! Right now, Johnnie!” Her voice was shrill, almost a scream.
He glanced at her and chuckled. “Not gonna happen, Cass. You might as well get used to it. We’re together now.”
She whipped her head right and left, scanning the landscape. They were rocking down a small road, deep in the woods, going north, she thought, but she didn’t recognize any landmarks. She didn’t think they had passed any cabins or houses for the last quarter of an hour.
She grabbed the door handle, ready to shove the door open, but she hesitated. The car was probably going slow enough to throw herself out, but what then? Johnnie was scrawny, but he still outweighed her, and she suspected he was strong enough to stop her. And where would she go? Where would she run to? And what about the baby?
She bit her lip, desperately casting around to come up with a plan. Her mind whirled. She could tell him about the baby. Yes, the baby might make a difference. But what if he didn’t care, or it only made him mad. Think, think.
“Johnnie.” She pitched her voice low, trying to sound calm, trying to sound reasonable in spite of the uncontrollable panic coursing through her body. “Think about what you’re doing. This is kidnapping. This is serious. You need to take me back. Now.”
“Nope.” His lips curled into a mirthless smile. “You’ve been toying with me long enough, Cass. You liked all the attention, didn’t you, all the stuff I left for you. Like tributes. You liked that well enough, getting admired, didn’t you? Well, time to pay the piper.”
“What do you plan to do, Johnnie?” Her throat was almost completely closed, her mouth dry.
“We’ll have some fun. Then we’ll see after that.” He smirked, still staring at the road ahead.
Her heart was racing, pounding in her chest. Her brain surged back to Chicago, that awful night. Hadn’t Zack said the same thing? We’ll have some fun. He’d led her deep into the park, where his friends were waiting. She’d been so stupid, so trusting. They’d passed her around like a worthless doll, as if she was just there for them to use and torment. They’d ignored her screams, and then her moans and cries, slapping and kicking her if they decided she was too loud, or just because they felt like it. They’d taken everything. They’d made her into nothing.
She’d almost died, and for a long time she hadn’t cared if she lived or not. Then Nick came. Nick came and saved her.
But Nick wasn’t here now. She took a deep, shuddering breath. And dammit, that wasn’t going to happen again. No one was here to save her, so somehow, somehow, she was going to have to save herself.
***
She swallowed hard and shoved down the terror that was surging through her body. The skin on her face prickled with fear.
“Johnnie, where are we going?” She pitched her voice lower, and spoke slowly, trying to sound calm. Her fingers were tightly wound claws against the seat fabric. Think, think.
Johnnie frowned through the windshield as another tree branch crashed against the hood of the Suburban. He muttered under his breath, mostly words that Cass couldn’t make out, but he seemed to be talking to himself.
“Shut up!” He slapped his hand against the steering wheel, and Cass shrunk away. “We’re going…where I decide we’re going, you hear me? Just shut up!”
She pressed her back against the seat, trying to watch him, to gauge his state of mind, without drawing his anger. Could it be that he didn’t have a destination in mind? That could mean that he could stop anytime, anywhere. There was no time to waste.
Her brain was freezing, non-functioning, but she forced herself to think. What did she know about him? Practically nothing. He was a fixture around the grocery store, self-effacing, fumbling. She’d always found him a little different, a little odd, but she never focused on him. She’d hardly thought about him at all. He’d bagged her groceries and sometimes carried them to her jeep. That’s what he did. She couldn’t remember even trading sentences with him. She always just thanked him and he always just nodded.
She shook her head sharply, trying to think. Johnnie still glared straight ahead, a cruel thin smile on his face, pushing the Suburban down the rutted track. He was eerily calm, almost as if he’d forgotten she was there. They were getting further and further away from the main road. Who knew how much further they were going. Her fingernails dug deep into the vinyl seat. Think, think. Do something. Now.
“Maybe we should go back to my cabin.” Her throat was dry, but she swallowed hard, and licked her dry lips. “Johnnie, if we’re going to be together, it would be nicer there.” She’d tried to sound seductive, encouraging, sexy, but she heard the terror behind her words.
“You think I’m stupid, don’t you?” He sneered, not taking his eyes off the forward track. “You think you can trick me, you stupid bitch.” He braked suddenly, throwing her body against the dash again, and she steeled herself to fight him off, but he started driving forward again, muttering. “Everybody thinks I’m stupid. They don’t know. None of them know. I’ll show them. I’ll show them.”
She tried to take a deep breath but it caught in her throat. She forced herself to breathe again. “I never thought you were stupid, Johnnie. I didn’t know it was you bringing me the…presents…I didn’t know that you liked me. I just didn’t know. You were very good about keeping the secret.”
He gave no sign that he heard her words. She pulled breath into her lungs unsteadily, and reached across to touch one of his hands. He whipped his hand off the steering wheel and swung it backwards. She ducked away as he struck at her, but his hand found a hunk of her hair and yanked it hard. She screamed and he let go.
“Sit still, bitch,” he growled.
She couldn’t give up
. It was the only way. “Johnnie, please.” She reached over and touched his hand again, lightly, ready to jump away. He scowled but didn’t strike again. She took his hand, and he let her pull it gently away from the wheel, and she guided it towards her. She pressed his palm against her chest, rolling his hand over the mound of her breast, gasping when he suddenly grabbed it and squeezed.
“Oh, yeah,” he said “Oh, yeah. I knew you’d want it. You want it, don’t you, you bitch?”
She struggled against all her instincts to scream and pull away. “Yes, Johnnie, oh yes. I just didn’t know, you know, that you liked me.”
He was squeezing her breast hard now, so hard that she had to bite her lip to keep from calling out. He was still driving, but the Suburban had slowed, and his breathing was ragged and fast now. He wouldn’t wait much longer. She didn’t have any time.
“Let’s go back to my cabin.” Her breath was whispery and shallow from fear, but she hoped his ego would read it as desire. “If we’re going to be together, let’s make it special. It’s late, no one will be there but us. We’ll be so…comfortable.” She tried to croon the words that threatened to gag her. She leaned over and dropped her other hand onto his leg, stroking it, easing her fingers closer to his groin. Sweat and a stale, hot muskiness poured off his body. He groaned and closed his eyes briefly.
“You bitch!” He spit the words at her. “You bitch! You’re going to get it all right. You’re going to get just what you want. More than you can handle.” She bit back a whimper as he grabbed and squeezed her breast again, twisting her nipple hard through her shirt.
It was all up to her. No one else was here to help her. No one was coming to save her.
“Johnnie…” Again, she pitched her voice low and slow, pushing away her urge to scream and struggle. “Johnnie, if you stop here we might get…interrupted. No one is at my cabin. We can use the bed, be comfortable. It will be…nice.” Her own words terrified and disgusted her, but it was the only way. “You can take your time with me.” Her stomach spasmed and she thought she might vomit. “You can do whatever you want to me there.”
A Late Hard Frost Page 21