by Andur
“So why don't we have another round of wine.” Miruliru opens a bottle of wine and starts to fill another round of glasses with the expensive stuff. Ugh. After we are done there will be a sizeable dent in the palace's wine cellar.
I take sip from my glass. “So you had fun?” I whisper to Celes.
“Sure my honey bear!” Celes answers with a strained voice.
That didn't sound very convincing. Did something happen while she was talking with the other ambassadors?
But Gwalonna stands up to make a speech. “I think I speak in the name of everyone if I express my high hopes for the groups, which are represented here. May our future be blessed with cooperation, peace and freedom. Let's reshape the multiverse together.”
Everyone nods and raises their glasses.
“Mwaha. Yeah! Right it iiiis! Peace and loooove for everyooone. Childreeen sure have high hooopes. But take goood care of your castle ooof ssannd.”
A drunken female voice sounds from under the table. I slide my chair backwards and take a look beneath it. The view was previously obstructed by the tablecloth, but I shove it aside.
“LADA! What are you doing down there!?” -Me
Lada is lying under the table with seven bottles of wine. It reeks like she was bathing in the booze.
“Juuust drinking and bathing in my misery. I aaam one oof theeee oldest beings in tha multaverssse. Buuut doeees aanyoone give a shit bout my opinion or needs me? Nope! Theey alll creaaate their sooocieties and roll forward.”
Lada waves her glass to me and spills half of it over the floor.
“Whooo neeeds a god of loooove. I willll juust take a look frem the shaedows.... on the kids....”
“Come out there Lada. You sure went down the gutter since I last saw you.” Miruliru climbs under the big table to get Lada outside. Looks like she knows her.
On the other hand it's not strange. Everyone should know a former Council member. And Lada was the nice face of the Council.
“BOOZE OFF! Littlee kids looking after grandmother's. It shoullls be tha otha way around!” Lada struggles against Miruliru, who had underestimated Lada's drunkenness.
Celes's tail reaches under the table and grabs Miruliru, pulling her out while she kept clinging to Lada.
“Puh! Thanks. Lada you could have helped a little... Lada?” Miruliru pats Lada's face a little but gets no reaction.
“CHRRR....RgRg.....ccChRR....” The goddess of love is lying on her back and snores like a lumberjack.
“For real?” Chiffre shakes his head at the situation.
“Looks like we should take a little better care of the previous generation. Who would have known that the great Lada would let herself go like that?” -Zanders
“It should be fine if we give her a proper job. Having nothing to do gives you too much time to think about yourself and the multiverse.” I give my suggestion to the people.
“How about president of the multiverse?” -Miruliru
“What's that supposed to be?” Celes asks with a curious tone.
“Not a bad idea. We may need a neutral person if there should ever arise any disputes between us. Lada would be a perfect candidate. And the job would surely come without real power because she would just be an intermediary between our governments.” -Gwalonna
“I like the sound of that. And it's surely a pain in the ass to do something like that.” -Mawu
Miruliru takes Lada's hand and forms a thumbs up with it. “Lada says she will do the job.” Miruliru folds Lada's hands on her chest and covers her with a tablecloth from a nearby table.
After that's done we continue to drink and talk until late in the night.
Next morning
Uhhh... I have a headache. My head is going to split. I take a look around and witness a battlefield. Looks like I am still in the party hall.
I am lying on top of the bar and Celes is lying on top of me, using me as a body pillow.
Mawu is lying on his belly face down in a pool of booze on the floor.
Lada is wrapped up in the tablecloth like a pupa. She is hanging heels over head from the ceiling and still snores loudly.
The tables and chairs are all stacked up into two small but still impressive castles on either side of the room.
Broken pieces of glass are lying concentrated around both castles. Miruliru is hanging at two metres height on the leg of a turned over table, which was used as a castle wall.
The other castle has a crumbled wall and I see a mechanic arm looking out from a turned over table. Probably it belongs to Chiffre?
But then I see Chiffre with a missing arm dangling from the candelabrum in the centre of the room.
Zanders and Gwalonna are lying together in a compromising position in the corner of the room.
I try to get up but the dizziness and Celes's weight stop me. Everything is spinning. Whoa. Shit. I will never drink this stuff again.
“What the FUUUcck happened here?”
I turn and see Carne in the entrance to the hall. I weakly wave to him and he strides into my direction. He has bloodshot eyes and is a little pale.
Looks like doing four girls at the same time is a little exhausting.
“You guys seem to know how to throw a party. If I wouldn't have been set up with my whole entourage, I would have had a great night!”
Carne jabs an accusing finger to my face. *Whip* “Ow!”
A sudden slash of Celes's tail lets him jump a step backwards and yelp . I can't help it and grin at him.
“Get your wife off and we will talk about this like real men!” He waves a fist at me but underestimates Celes's reach. *Whip* “Fuck!”
I start laughing at him.
“Mwahaha! Never understimate the automatic defens....”
“Mmmine! Munha....”
Celes hugs me tighter and the grin leaves my face as my bones start to give off a crunching sound.
Now it's Carne's turn to grin at me. Then I hear voices from beyond the entrance.
“Caaarnee?”
“Deaaaar?”
“Maybe the hall?”
“Carne, you can't run away from your duties!”
Carne's expression becomes haunted and he turns to the entrance and then back towards me. “We will speak about this later!” Again he jabs a finger towards me.
*Whip* “FFF..:”
This guy is surprisingly resistant to learning by experience.....
Carne turns towards the windows and runs. *Crash!*
Seconds later I see the four lightly dressed girls running through the entrance and towards the windows.
“Did you hear that?”
“Must have been him!”
“Get him!”
“Daaarling!”
78 - Red light district?
I survived the diplomatic endeavour! Everyone was safely sent home and I am inside my personal working room in the palace.
After everyone had regained their consciousness, we took a magical oath. Everything which happened that night will be a national secret. If someone should ever talk, all the other nations will band up and crush him.
Yes. This is for the best..... though nobody really remembered what happened anyway. The implications provided by the aftermath are bad enough.
*Knock*
“Honey? We have to talk.” The door opens and Celes intrudes into my room.
I turn around and smile at her. “Yes?”
“I heard some rumours on the party and they don't let me calm down.” -Celes
I continue to smile at her while my head tries to find possible routes of escape. Rumours about us are never good.
“There is this rumour that you were seen in a certain red light district.” Celes gives me a forced smile.
“Hah?”
“Where did you get that!?” She shoves the lingerie I bought for her into my face.
“Uhm...”
Think, think? What if she doesn't believe me that I were there purely for research? Oh gods! This will be m
y doom!
“And that rumour said that El Shaddai is also working there..... as a woman!” Celes fumes right now!
“Ehm... why don't we talk later?” I need time. Time to run to the other side of the multiverse.
*WHAM!*
Celes smashes the lingerie onto my office table and the table dissolves into splinters! That was handmade!
“I think. I will postpone the interrogation and advance directly to punishment!” Celes has a dangerous look in her face.
“Please do the talking first!” I get to my knees and bow to her.
Celes takes the chair, which is still alive and sits in front of me with her legs crossed. “Why were you there?”
“To do some research!” -Me
“About what?” -Celes
“I wanted to make sure that El Shaddai is properly punished!” -Me
“SO HE IS THERE!?” -Celes
“YES. BUT I DIDN'T TOUCH HIM! …. HER!” I don't look up from my position.
“.....Explain!” -Celes
“Maybe I got carried away after we decided to release his soul as a mortal. I wanted to make sure that he doesn't have it too easy. So I fiddled -just- a little with his reincarnation. I let him revive as the daughter of the manager of a famous brothel. It's a family business with strict rules and a system of forced inheritance. So it won't be easy for her to get out.” -Me
“I was just there to see if everything went it's proper course.”
“Continue.”
“El Shaddai. I mean, his name is Sharid now, was properly born and is a baby right now. So I couldn't have done anything to her! I am not into babies!” Hah! Yes that's the solution! She is still a baby! So the rumour has to be bullshit!
“There are quite a few other girls there.....”
Shit! “I just went in and out after confirming the situation! I didn't even look left or right!”
“LIAR! I investigated the source of the rumour and you were there for over an hour!” A nice little creaking comes from the chairs armrest while Celes's hand tightens down on it.
“Ah.... I may have gotten distracted by this and that....” Oh no! Please don't let her find out! But she looks really scary! More like a demon than a succubus! I shouldn't have looked up!
*SNAP*
The armrest of the chair gave in.
“Hiii! On my way back I got a glance at the costumes of a few girls and I got carried away and and It was like the pent up frustration of a few hundred years was set loose. I just happened this once. I never lost control before. It really hurt my pride to give in to my instincts.”
Celes's face becomes a little pale.
“Then I somehow had to get hold of one! And then I found another nice one! And before I knew it I had collected a whole set of costumes and lingerie!” I cover down and await my end.
“You.... collected a set..... of costumes? .... and why should a brothel sell that stuff!?” -Celes
“Erm.... They didn't exactly sell it.” Damn!
“Oh? Then how did you collect the costumes? And why isn't that another rumour?” -Celes
“Hrm.... err.... I guess it isn't exactly good reputation for a brothel if a guy isn't interested in the girls and just strips them of their working dresses.....” There you have it! She will throw me into the black hole!
“..... and where are those costumes to prove your story?” -Celes
“They are in our wood house. Inside the chest I got your red lingerie from. It has a double layered ground plate!”
Suddenly our surroundings shift. Aw! Celes teleported us! We are inside the bedroom of our wood house. She turns to the mentioned chest and opens it.
Celes carelessly wipes away my camouflage of normal clothing. I hear another *snap* as the fake base plate is broken out of the chest.
You didn't have to break it! It could have been opened perfectly fine!
“Hmm. Let's see... bunny suit... cat ears... a tiger tail? No way I stick that into my... lots of panties and bras ... a rope? ….. handcuffs.... did he rob the entire brothel?...... so much stuff, did he cast a dimensional spell on the chest to get it all inside?..... There is still more!”
Celes picks the chest up and pours the content in a pile onto the floor. She is right with the dimensional spell....
When the pile reaches her waist, the flood of items stops and she looks at my collection with a suspicious expression.
Oh, I am so screwed... if she regains her composure, she will skewer me with something sharp. Or she will use her fists. Urgh.. I wanted to see the children grow up....
After a few seconds she bends down and picks a red leather outfit from the pile and holds it before her in front of the mirror at the side of the room.
Yes! Exactly like I imagined it on her! It perfectly gives off that sadistic dominatrix aura! She doesn't even need a whip!
Then she turns to me. “You should see that face of yours..... Fine! We will let those dreams of yours come true in order to stop you from assaulting poor little mortal girls. And to punish you we will start with this.”
Celes pulls a set of handcuffs out of the pile and sends a vicious grin towards me.
“...O.... Only if I get to use the rope in turn!”
On another world in a brothel, a few years later
“What's that statue mommy? It looks like a devil!” A little girl tugs at a woman's skirt. The woman is the manager of the brothel.
After taking a look at the statue above the entrance to the brothel, the woman turns towards the child.
“That's the greatest disaster which ever happened to our business! That demon appeared someday shortly after your birth and robbed us of most of our inventory! It took me weeks to get a replacement for everything. I paid a hefty sum to a wizard, so he would put up this warding statue. Make sure to keep the statue safe at all times, Sharid!” The manager turns back to her papers.
“Why would he steal our inventory?” The little girl looks at her mother with big eyes. She already was taught the most important stuff as the successor of the brothel. As a matter of fact, her mother doesn't believe in keeping a child ignorant of the world.
Sharid already perfectly knows what men want from women and how to give it to them. There isn't anything the manager would ever hold back under the assumption that it would be bad knowledge for children.
“Do you remember our discussion about perverts and their value for the business?” -Manager
“Yes?” -Sharid
“That demon belongs to the worst kind of pervert! They aren't after women! They only yearn for their belongings! Those perverts are bad for the business! See to it to never let them enter the house!” -Manager
“...mm okay!” Sharid turns toward the statue in order to burn the image into her mind!
Bad for business! Worst kind of pervert!..........
“Ah! I totally forgot! You are old enough for your status plate. We don't really need one and the church doesn't give it to people like us. But it's useful if you ever have to travel. And without one you aren't recognized as a proper citizen.” -Manager