Fighting Fate

by Hope, Amity

  Sarah scooped Penelope up as she went to the window to see for herself. She groaned at the sight of several large trees that had fallen. The yard was littered with sticks, branches, leaves and other debris. It was impossible to tell how many more trees had fallen further into the woods. She groaned. “I swear, with this house, I feel like it’s been one step forward, two steps back.”

  “It could’ve been worse. You were lucky that nothing actually landed on the house.”

  “True,” she said as she scratched under the kitten’s chin.

  “I can run into town and get a chainsaw. It might take a few days but we can get this cleaned up.”

  Sarah shook her head. She told him what Gretchen had said about businesses being closed and the roads being blocked.

  “Dad couldn’t ge scoussest here. So if he couldn’t get up here, you can’t get out.”

  “Huh,” Cole said. “I hope you don’t expect me to be disappointed by that.”

  She laughed at the same moment that his stomach grumbled.

  “Hungry?” she asked.

  “Maybe a little,” he admitted with a sheepish smile.

  “I have some caramel rolls from Mom in the freezer. I can put them in the oven and get some coffee started.”

  “Sounds great,” he said. “And I suppose I should see if my clothes have dried at all.”

  “If they’re not dry, you can toss them in the dryer. In fact, I could do that for you right now. I need to feed Penelope. All of her stuff is in the laundry room,” she said as she took off in that direction.

  “Do you really like that cat as much as you seem to?” Cole asked.

  Sarah turned to him with a smile on her face. She snuggled the kitten tightly to her. “I adore her.” She wasn’t about to tell Cole she hadn’t realized how lonely she’d been living on her own the last year and a half. She loved the company, even if Penelope was just a cat.

  He laughed. “Then why don’t you change her name?”

  She frowned at Cole. “I like her name.” She adjusted the kitten so she was dangling in front of her. The bottom half of her body hung limply while she stared calmly at Sarah. “See, she looks like a Penelope. Just look at those whiskers. I think they’re twice as long as normal. And her ear tufts?” she giggled at the sight of them. They sprung from inside of her ears and were long enough they nearly curled around to the other side. “She’s adorable.”

  “And her name is Penelope.”

  “Her name is Penelope,” Sarah agreed.

  She bent over so she could place the kitten on the floor. She fed her while Cole tossed his clothes in the dryer. Then she went into the kitchen to warm up the caramel rolls while Cole started a pot of coffee.

  “You know,” Sarah said, “I’ve been thinking.”

  “Oh yeah?” Cole asked as he measured out coffee grounds.

  “There was a reward, a big reward, for any information that led to solving that case.”

  He flipped the top of the coffeepot shut and hit the button to turn it on. “There was.”

  “And you didn’t take it?”

  He turned so that he was leaning against the counter.

  Sarah had to work to keep her eyes zeroed in on his. The f son —essentially in their pajamas—made that a little bit difficult. The subject matter, however, helped with that.

  He crossed his arms over his chest. “Twenty thousand dollars doesn’t do anyone any good if that person is dead.”

  She leaned her hip against the sink. “You really thought your life was in danger?” The fact that he had given up that much money, especially back then when the amount had to have seemed astronomical, reinforced to Sarah just how afraid he must’ve been.

  “I wasn’t just worried my life was in danger. I was worried about both of ours. See, the thing is, before that, they were just small-town crooks. But the arrogance,” he said as he winced, “that was in their voices when they talked about it, that’s what worried me.

  “You have to keep in mind that this was a few months after it happened. I mean, yeah, we heard about it here. It was probably bigger news over in Danville. But for the most part, people in Laurel had moved on to other things. They were so sure they’d gotten away with it. People like that? With minds so twisted? If they got away with murder once, I had no doubt it was only a matter of time before they got away with it again.

  “They shot her because she walked in on them while they were unhooking a TV. They killed her to save their own skins. I had no doubt that they would do the same to me…or you, if they felt threatened. I could not let that happen.”

  Sarah remembered the jolt of fear she’d felt the night Darren had had her cornered. That had to have been nothing compared to the terror Cole had felt. Knowing he was dealing with killers?

  “I wasn’t one-hundred percent sure that Darren wasn’t involved by that point. Part of the reason I waited so long to say anything—it was forty-six days by the way, forty-six days of watching my back every second—but anyhow. I was worried that Darren had mentioned sending me up there for that bottle of whisky. I thought maybe they’d put two and two together and realize that’s the night they’d been talking about it. Hell, I didn’t know if that was a onetime thing or if they shot their mouths off to each other on a daily basis. I didn’t want to find out.”

  “Wait,” Sarah said as she held up a hand. “What did Darren say when you came back without his liquor?”

  Cole averted his gaze as he hung his head for a moment. When he looked back at her, he was apologetic. “He was pissed. Like I said, at that point, I wasn’t sure if he was in on it. I didn’t want him thinking I went up there and got scared off. I mean, what if it somehow came up with Mike that I’d been there?” He let out a frustrated breath. “I drove around for a few hours, trying to calm myself down. When I came back, he looked ready to kill me since I’d come back empty-handed even though I’d been gone so long. So I told him I never made it there because I ran into Lacie.”

  “He knew you were dating me,” Sarah said with sah ed percena frown.

  Cole let out a bitter laugh. “As if loyalty ever meant anything to him. But once I’d lied to him, the rest of it just came to me.”

  “To use Lacie,” she said with a hint of accusation.

  “Yes.”

  “Did you…did you keep seeing her? After that night?”

  “No. I admit it. I used her. The whole time I was just wishing to have it over with. Yeah, it was wrong. What you saw,” he said quietly, “was all that ever happened. I never wanted to hurt you. I just needed to piss you off. You were always so damn easygoing and I loved that about you. But finding me with Lacie? I knew that was the one thing you might not forgive me for. After that night, I spent all of my time trying to make sure Mike and Steve weren’t paying any attention to you. I figured if we had a bad break-up, one in which I was the jackass, that they would think you didn’t mean anything to me and not give you another thought. As for me, I was trying to find a way to get myself out of town.”

  “I still don’t see why you had to leave,” Sarah said as she moved to pull the caramel rolls out of the oven.

  “I panicked, I guess. I knew I had to make that phone call. And I was so sure they were going to figure out it was me. When I made the call, I told the cops where they could find the gun and everything that was stolen out of that house. Steve had said he wanted to toss the gun and Mike said they were better off keeping it. In case they needed it. He said no one would think to look under the floorboards. Then he started bitching because they had thousands of dollars worth of electronics—that they took after they killed her—and he was pissed they couldn’t pawn anything because the cops would be looking for that stuff. Steve suggested driving out of state, somewhere way down south. Mike said he’d think about it but told Steve to keep it in his garage until then. That’s when I knew I’d heard enough and I got myself the hell out of there.”

  He turned from Sarah and pulled two mugs out of the cupboard. He filled them
with coffee as she set the pan of rolls on the table. He crossed the room to join her, setting a cup in front of her.

  “I was sure back then that they would be able to figure out it was me who ratted them out,” he said as Sarah lifted a roll onto his plate. “If just the two of them were involved, they had to have figured out someone overheard them at some point. There weren’t that many of us hanging around back then. Me, Alex on occasion, Darren, Toby and a few other guys.” He shook his head. “Looking back, maybe running wasn’t the answer. I just didn’t know if other people were involved.”

  “You joined the Air Force, Cole. That’s kind of extreme.”

  “It was, but it wasn’t,” he said.

  “Do you care to elaborate?”

  "+0">“Yeah,” he said as he looked contemplative. “I told you last night I’d taken that pamphlet from the guidance counselor. I wasn’t sure why I grabbed it at the time. I told myself I had no reason for taking it.”

  She quirked an eyebrow at him. “Did you have a reason for taking it?”

  He nodded slowly. “I think even before everything went down with Mike and Steve, a part of me knew that’s what I wanted to do. I was just afraid of losing you. I was afraid if I went away for that long, that you’d be gone when I got back. And the thing was, I wasn’t set on the idea. I mean, it was a huge decision. But it had crossed my mind.”

  “And you never told me.”

  “It wasn’t a serious option. At least, not then. But you’re right. I never had the balls to tell you.”

  “Probably because you knew that I would’ve encouraged you to go,” she firmly said.

  He didn’t disagree. If she had thought that’s what he really wanted, she would’ve made sure he saw it through.

  “Why the Air Force? Because of your grandpa?”

  He nodded. “Yeah, that was definitely part of it. I always admired him. I think maybe, that’s why it sparked an interest in the first place. When I told you that I was considering college, I never told you that I felt like I was still floundering. I felt like I needed more direction. Once I was enlisted, I realized I had a real chance to do some good and turn my life around.”

  “From what I can tell, you did that,” she said as she smiled at him. “So you don’t regret it?”

  He shook his head as he finished off his breakfast. “I only regretted leaving you behind.”

  “You could have told me what was going on. You could’ve claimed the reward. We could have run off together. I would’ve followed you anywhere,” she said, only half teasing.

  “I never would’ve told you. That would’ve just put you at even greater risk. And no, we couldn’t have run off. You still had a year left of school.”

  “Right. I forgot about that.”

  “On top of all that, I’d convinced myself you’d be better off without me. I was just a loser. I was a nobody. Going nowhere.”

  “Cole,” Sarah said sharply. “I never thought of you that way.”

  “I know. So, can you please tell me if I’m forgiven?”

  She pushed away from the table and walked over to him. Giving him a backwards hug she said, “Yes. You’re forgiven. And more than anything, I’m glad that everything turned out okay. I’m glad they’re in prison, where they s s whd, hould be. Turning them in like that? It was brave.”

  He grasped her wrists in his hands as he held her to him. He leaned his head against hers. “I was not brave. I ran and I felt like a coward.”

  “You were scared. I get that now.” She slid her arms away so she could begin cleaning the kitchen.

  “Now that you understand, do you think maybe we could try to fix things?”

  “Meaning?”

  He stood from his chair and walked over to her. “I mean, can I take you out? On a date?”

  She nodded. “I think that can be arranged.” Then with a quick glance out the window at the disaster in her yard she said, “I’m just not sure when.”

  “Don’t worry about it. We’ll get everything cleaned up. In fact, now that I’m fed, we can start with the cleanup. We can move some of the smaller debris into a pile and then I’ll cut up the bigger stuff when I get a chance.” He cocked his head to the side. “I think the dryer stopped. Do you mind if I take a quick shower?”

  “No. I need one too.”

  “Hey maybe we could—”

  “No!” she said with a laugh.

  “Too soon?” he laughed back.

  “Way too soon.”

  “Okay. I’ll settle for a date. But I want to make something perfectly clear to you.” He closed the small space between them and pulled her against his chest. “I want you to know that I still love you. And one of these days? I hope you remember that you still love me too.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  The past…

  “He was just…he was trying to make conversation. That’s all,” Sarah said consolingly. “He didn’t mean anything by it.”

  Cole glanced at her as he tossed another rock into the pond. It didn’t skip but sank straight to the bottom. Tonight, he couldn’t even do that right. Giving up, he dropped down onto the cold ground beside her.

  The small pond was on the edge of Cora’s property. Cora didn’t mind if they were there and they’d been there a lot. If for no other reason than the fact that it was private. You couldn’t get to it from the main road. Coming in from Cora’s driveway was the only way to access the trail that led to it. Cora didn’t come out here anymore because it was too far for her to walk.

  Over the past half year, it had more or less turned into their place. It had been one of their favorite places to go in the summer but now it wouldn’t be long until the water iced over. Soon, when the snow fell, the path that led to it would be impassible. But for now, for a few more weeks, it was still their secret haven.

  Just being there calmed Cole a bit, even if his damn rocks refused to skip because his fingers were too chilled to throw them properly.

  Frank Heath had always been nice enough to him but Cole always got the impression it was to humor Sarah. He was sure that Frank thought their infatuation would end sooner rather than later. Cole had thought the same thing.

  < {n=" was prispan>It hadn’t.

  It had grown into something that consumed him and he wasn’t able to break free of it. Not that he particularly wanted to. It was just that lately, he was starting to realize it might be in Sarah’s best interest if he did.

  Tonight was one of the nights that those feelings were pressing down on him.

  Now that he was well into his senior year Frank had asked him what he planned to do after school. The answer? Nothing. He had no plans. No real plans anyway.

  His fork had rattled against his plate as he’d tossed an answer together in his head. Now, he turned to Sarah.

  “You know, I meant what I said to your dad.” He hadn’t meant it at the time. It was just a bullshit answer that he’d fabricated when he’d been put on the spot. “Maybe I can work at the lumberyard and work my way up. Maybe if I put enough time in, they’d promote me to a supervisor. I mean, not right away. But after a few years.”

  The lumberyard was huge. It kept plenty busy because none of the big home improvement chain stores had come into town. Cole knew there were at least three department supervisors. So it was a possibility.

  “Maybe,” Sarah carefully said. “Or maybe you could just go to college.”

  Without looking at her, he grabbed another rock and tossed it into the water. His hands were numb. Though she had gloves on, he knew she must be getting cold too. He also knew she wouldn’t complain.

  “College,” he scoffed.

  “College,” Sarah said firmly.

  “College isn’t free,” he said bitterly. “And some of us don’t have—” He cut himself off. It wasn’t like she didn’t know but he hated pointing out all of the things he didn’t have. He didn’t feel sorry for himself. It just pissed him off. But the thing was, he didn’t want Sarah to feel sorry for him either. No
one wanted to be pitied.

  “There are other ways. Your grades—”

  “Are average. And barely even that.” He tossed in another rock, watching as the ripple expanded outward and then faded away.

  He didn’t hate school, not the way Darren did. But he didn’t exactly like it either. Luckily, he didn’t struggle with it the way his brother always had. If he would have ever bothered to actually apply himself, maybe he would’ve been able to apply for a scholarship. Now? That wasn’t going to happen. He’d pissed away the last three and a half years and he had a low B average to show for it.

  “You have time to raise your grades a little.”

  He shrugged. “It wouldn’t be enough.”

  “Okay,” she agreed. “Maybe you can’t raise th {’ng was, em enough to get a scholarship. But you could raise them enough to get into a school somewhere. Or to at least show schools that you have the potential and that all you needed to do was turn things around.”

  She had a habit of always making everything sound so easy. Compared to the rest of it, getting in was the easy part. It was paying for it that was impossible. That’s what kept holding him back, making him think he shouldn’t bother. Not that he expected her to understand that.

  Or maybe she did understand.

  “There are other ways. What about financial aid?”

  He gritted his teeth and looked away. Her world was so different from his. He felt her hand move cautiously to his arm.

  Her voice was low and so cautious, he barely heard her when she started to speak. “There are programs for low-income families. You could—”

  “No,” he snapped, making her jump.

  “Why not?” she asked, not backing down. “I’m just trying to make you see. There are options. You’re not in a hopeless situation so stop acting like you are!”

  “I’ve already talked to my mom about those applications. She won’t fill them out.” He hadn’t meant to tell her that. It seemed that every time he talked about himself or his family, he just painted them in a darker and more despicable way. He had to give her credit though. She never judged him. She might not always understand him. But she never judged him.