"Did it hurt?"
"No. it’s not like actual time travel." I hugged my bathrobe around me. "Cullen, this is crazy. It was so different this time. It wasn’t like I was myself, waking up confused in someone else’s body. I was really her. I knew everything she knew and not because a little voice spoke in my head. I wasn’t Sophia at all. I was a spoiled Princess who was excited," I hesitated, "but at the same time, scared." I put my face in my hands. "An unruly teenage girl sneaking out of her room! Maybe this trip was meant to—to remind me what Alana must feel like." I gave an unhappy snort.
Cullen raised an eyebrow. "Sophia, this isn’t a game. Look at what happened before. What if they don’t know what they’re doing?”
“He’s a world-famous hypnotist. Regression is his area of expertise.”
He cocked his head in a gesture that was neither a nod nor a shake. “Yeah well, it’s the quiet pigs that eat the meal.”
I shook my head. “I knew it. You don’t like him.”
He sat up, put his elbows on his knees, and leaned toward me, setting my wine down for me.
“It’s not that. I’m wary is all and it wouldn’t hurt ye to be, either. Ye’re not exactly like everyone else, Sophia. What if he accidentally sends ye back there?” His voice was gentle. "Like before. Can that happen?”
"No.” I frowned, thinking it through. “I'm not wearing the sapphire. Besides, we’re not using a spell from the book. It’s hypnosis.”
“I guess ye’re right.”
“The curse is over, there would be no reason for Rochus or anyone over there to pull me back.”
“Fine. I’m being paranoid. So tell me more—so ye remember being her, now?”
“It’s like this hypnosis has unlocked my memories. She was afraid of Nico even then, and she had the sapphire. She was taking it to show Rochus." My voice shook. “Oh, God, Cullen…It was me. I really was Princess Sapphira. I don’t know that I ever really truly believed in reincarnation. I thought I’d time traveled and that it was a spell. Simply the sapphire’s magic that allowed me to fall into these bodies. But I could feel it all, hear it, see it, smell it.”
Cullen smiled, but I went on. "It was all so vivid. Almost too real."
"This is good, then," Cullen said slowly. "Ye obviously needed some reassurance and you got it.”
"It's just so crazy!"
Cullen took hold of my arm gently, standing up. "Come on," he said. "I need a drink. And something to eat. Is there anythin’ tasty in this house?"
I dragged my thoughts back to the present with difficulty. "Yes, but nothing healthy that I feel like making." I gave a rueful smile.
Cullen grinned. "Throw on some jeans and let’s head over to the Pub then."
"That doesn't sound very healthy, either." I forced myself to smile. Standing up slowly, I pulled the belt of my robe more tightly around me. Then I headed toward the kitchen and pulled open the fridge door. "There's leftover pasta in here."
"Pasta's fine. What did it feel like, being hypnotized?" he asked curiously.
I sighed. "That's the weird part. I'm not sure. I don't think I knew it was happening at the time. One minute I was looking at my feet and thinking this isn’t working and the next I was awake again and I realized it had worked. I’ll make a salad to go with this.”
“Is there any wine left, love?"
"Under the counter," I replied and took down two plates and bowls.
Cullen watched me cut up the lettuce. "How about a little music to eat by?" he said, switching on the iPod as we returned to the living room to eat.
“Maybe next time you should do it with me. We can see if you were really the Graf.”
Cullen looked away. "I’ve wondered from time to time about my dreams of the past, but I don't know. It seems dangerous to just hand control over to someone, especially someone we only just met.”
I nodded and let the music sweep over me, leaving my pasta untouched as I lay back on the sofa, my feet up, and my eyes closed.
“So you’re done now, right? Ye’re not doing it again, are you?”
“Cullen, stop.”
“All right. But make sure ye tell them ye want to know everything that happens. You hear those stories about the crazy pervs that molest their patients and then make them forget.”
I patted his arm reassuringly. “You need to get over your trust issues, honey. Sadly, nobody wants to molest me anymore but you.”
“I’m serious,” Cullen growled.
“You’re silly. Sandra is right there.”
“Just do me the bloody favor, would ye, woman, and spare me the argument.”
“Fine,” I acquiesced, wondering why he was so worked up over this. “I will specify that I want to remember everything no matter what.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
Time Is But a Game
It was Friday afternoon before I could make time to visit once again with the doctor. Sandra was waiting at the door, just as before, barely hiding her excitement as she led me into the study. Her husband was waiting for us by the open window, his glasses in hand.
"Sophia! Ready for another go?"
"Of course," I said and threw my leather purse down on the sofa. "I must admit it was the coolest thing to happen to me in years, but I'm beginning to wonder if I imagined the whole thing. Maybe it was a dream conjured by my curiosity to return.”
He looked up thoughtfully. "It was a successful regression." He drew his breath in with a hiss. "But I understand your hesitation. It’s unnatural for most people to believe just how much of the brain it’s possible to use.”
“This time I’d like to try my Aunt Zafira’s life. It would be easier for me to authenticate whether or not such occurrences happened.”
“We can attempt your Aunt Zafira’s life as well, but what I suggest is that we continue on this path for a few more sessions. It’s actually easier to move back through lives then forward. So let’s ease in. Besides, you’ve obviously been drawn to this life for a reason. Now, last time we were following the Princess down a passage where she was off to meet with an alchemist by the name of Rochus."
I swallowed hard. Did the ability to hypnotize me mean he could read my thoughts as well? I bit my lip, suddenly clueing in. "I guess I didn’t realize you knew what was happening." I grinned at him sheepishly. "I talk when I’m under, I take it, like you see in movies? Describing what I’m seeing?”
Remus nodded and I suddenly felt chilled.
He handed me a brown wool blanket as he had done before, and I lay back on the leather sofa and closed my eyes. Every muscle was tense.
“Oh, wait. I wanted to ask you something. Can you make sure that I remember everything? No matter what. It’s really important to me.”
“Of course.”
I listened intently as he began talking about the ball of relaxing light, moving on effortlessly to the stairs counting each one.
***
Sofia felt the sun beam down on her as she left the cool cover of the forest and wandered down the road into town. She wiped at her forehead with the back of her hand and walked on, nervous that she was deliberately disobeying her mother. But she couldn’t turn back. It was only a matter of minutes before the town square loomed before her and beyond that stood the ominous castle. A small part of her wanted to flee back to the safety of the cottage, but concern for her mother tugged her on.
She hadn’t seen her mother on the walk. She’d taken too long to catch up. But a small crowd was gathered just ahead in the square. Off in the distance she heard chanting. They were chanting someone’s name. It was familiar to her. There was a rustling from behind her and she crouched down, listening. It was as if someone invisible was whispering in her ear.
She listened, half curious.
“Does she know about the curse?” a woman’s voice whispered somewhere off in the distance.
“Shhh.”
“Just ask about the book again.”
“She’s fighting for control.”
&n
bsp; “What about Elena? She might be more pliable. We could try her."
The word Elena echoed in her head for a moment, so clear it must have been spoken from beside her. She looked but no one was there. Then, as she kept walking, the voices receded once more but her mind was becoming clear. She remembered the name Elena.
***
The crowd was just up ahead now. She had to catch up to her mother but she didn’t want the villagers to see her. She took her time and crept through the foliage, careful not to be seen.
“And who do we have here? Elena Maria Catargiu-Obrenović’s daughter, if I’m not mistaken.”
She froze at the sound of a man’s voice from behind. His stale body odor hit her hard. She swallowed the urge to gag.
“I’m afraid you’ve just missed her arrest.” He yanked her around, grabbing her other arm and bringing her face next to his. She cringed as his large paunch pressed against her. Somewhere, a baby cried. “Are you going to deny it?”
Sophia tried to answer, but her mouth locked up. She should have been more careful. She should have stayed home, but she had been so eager to follow her mother—to make sure her mother didn’t get into trouble. He shook her, his dirty nails digging into her arm.
She squirmed, desperate to be free. “Please,” she said, finally finding her voice. “Let me go!”
He laughed, his eyes gleaming with pleasure. “No. I don’t think so.”
She looked for help in the crowd that had moved up the road toward them.
“I’m just trying to catch up to my mother,” she whispered.
“I’ll take you to your mother so you can burn in hell right alongside her.”
***
"I'm reaching her now," I heard Remus murmur to Sandra, who was wringing her hands at his side. He sat forward on the edge of his chair, staring intently down at me. Outside, the rain was sliding down the window panes.
"Sophia? Sophia? Can you hear me?"
His voice was professionally calm, but the beads of sweat on his forehead told another story.
I half sat up with tears running down my cheeks and he leaned forward and put his hands gently on my shoulders, pushing me back against the cushions.
He waited as if to make sure I’d stay put, then he leaned back in his chair and took off his glasses.
I lay still, staring from Remus to Sandra and back. For a moment neither of them spoke. Then, as I wiped the tears from my face, Sandra stood up. "I think we could all do with a drink. What do you think?"
Remus took a deep breath and nodded. "Well, how do you feel, Sophia?" he asked. His tone was light and conversational. His glasses polished to his satisfaction at last, he put them back on his nose.
"I don't know." I pushed myself up against the cushions. "Oh, God, I feel shaky." I leaned forward. “What was that? Who was I?" I buried my face in my hands.
Remus glanced at the open door, through which came the sound of rattling cups.
"I think we crossed over into yet another of your lives. Do you remember everything?" he asked cautiously.
"How could I forget?" I whispered. "That man was horrendous,” I stood up unsteadily and crossed the room to the window, wishing it was open. “I can still smell him!" My voice cracked and I fell silent, pressing my forehead against the glass.
“What man?”
“The man from the Village. He captured me,” I whispered, trying not to re-live it.
“Do you remember anything before or after that?”
“No. That was all.”
Sandra looked sharply at her husband but he just smiled at me.
“I heard you calling me.”
“Good, Sophia. You did very well today. We’ll give you a break and maybe we can meet again Saturday.”
“No. I’m done with this. I don’t want to go back there again,” I said, rushing across the room
Sandra started to protest but stopped short when her husband gave her a measured look.
“Now, Sophia, be careful, dear. You might be dizzy for a few minutes yet.”
I sat back down but clutched my purse.
“I thought you wanted to see your Juju again? Your Great-Grandmother, wasn’t it?”
“You mean Gigi.” Had I said that? “Yes. I do, but it just doesn’t seem right anymore. I’m sorry, I’ve got to go,” I said, and left the room. The door thudded behind me and I closed my eyes and leaned against it, waiting for the dizziness to subside.
“Do you think she knows?” Sandra’s voice sounded from the other side of the large walnut-colored door.
My ears pricked up.
“No. She only remembers the lynch mob. I blocked my questions and commands but there’s nothing to be done about the associated feelings.”
“So you think she suspects something.”
What the hell? I wanted to open the door and scream, “She bloody well does now.”
“I don’t think so,” said Remus. “She probably associates the negative feelings with being captured.”
“Why allow her to remember at all?”
“The feelings will fade and she’ll forget. She’ll go under again, you’ll see.”
“Shall we head to lunch then?”
“Yes. I just have to grab my coat.”
I pulled my ear from the door and hurried away.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Whispers of Betrayal
Remus and Sandra’s words kept echoing in my head as I made my way down in the elevator and onto the street.
That could only mean one thing . . . couldn’t it? They were bad; they were questioning me and giving me instruction while I was under hypnosis … That was so creepy. And, I’d told them I wanted to remember everything. Cullen had warned me.
I felt a surge of anger. How was it possible that I had misjudged yet another person close to me in life? Could I trust anyone? Yes, of course. I could trust Cullen and Alana, and Leslie. As I walked across the street, I rooted around in my satchel for my keys. Finally, I looked up to see a girl leaning against my car.
No, not a girl, Leslie—a woman who only appeared to be a girl because she never aged. It didn’t help that she was wearing a plaid dress, John Lennon glasses and black leather boots that looked like they belonged to a fourteen year old.
“What are you doing here and what are you wearing?”
“Hello to you, too, Ms. Grumpy-pants,” Leslie said.
I smiled. “Sorry. I . . . wasn’t expecting anyone.” I unlocked my car and threw in my bag, trying to cover my thoughts of Sandra and Remus. It’s not like Leslie could read my mind, but she was very intuitive and I wasn’t sure how I felt yet, aside from icky. I took a deep breath and turned back to Leslie. “Everything okay at the bookstore?”
“Of course. Alana and Deirdre are manning it. I just stepped out to grab lunch. I’m starving.”
I rolled my eyes. She’d probably just polished off a four-course meal.
“You realize you’re parked a block away from the store when we have parking?” Her voice was curious, her brown eyes questioning.
“I know.”
“Uh-huh. So what are you doing here?”
I laughed. “What are you, a detective?”
“Don’t be evasive.”
“I was visiting Madam Brun. Remember, she’s staying here.”
“You just had them over for dinner.”
“I know.”
“You best friends now? I’m being ousted.”
“No.”
“You’re hiding something.”
“I’m not hiding anything. I just haven’t told you yet. The truth is...” I avoided her eyes. “I had a regression done today and one last night.”
“Seriously? Cullen too?”
“No. He had to take a call. I decided a walk down memory lane would be good.”
“Right, well, is it just me, or is it past lunchtime?” Leslie said, using her favorite tagline. Leslie, at five foot nothing, was always hungry. “Let’s grab chow and you can tell me all about it.”<
br />
I didn’t relish the thought of telling her about all that had happened, especially when my own thoughts were still jumbled, but she was my best friend and she had seen me through everything.
“I heard about this great new restaurant not too far from here. Best sushi in town,” she added, knowing full well salmon sashimi was my weakness. My mouth watered just thinking of it.
Glancing down at my watch, I saw it was noon. She was pretty damn smart, so maybe she could clue me in on what was going on. Besides, Alana was at the bookstore and Cullen was out of town. I had nowhere to be.
“I’ll drive,” she said as she climbed into my driver’s seat.
“Great,” I said in a sardonic tone; the only thing wilder than Leslie’s outfit was her driving.
We left our neighborhood, passing rows of brick houses and striking graffiti until Georgian set-pieces appeared. In comparison to most other European capitals, Dublin was small and could go from a prosperous, well-tended area to a run-down, gritty neighborhood within a block or two.
“Hey! Where are we going?” I asked as we drove along the bank of the River Liffey.
“Banyi.”
“That’s not new.”
“I know, but you never want to go to Temple Bar.”
“That’s ‘cause it’s all tourists and they jack the prices.”
“Not this place. Well, maybe, but still, let’s try it, I heard it’s good.”
“At least you’re the one who has to deal with parking,” I said as Leslie jerked the wheel hard to the left down an alley and into one of the lots.
“Yay! This one’s got space. We’ll have to walk a bit.”
“Big surprise,” I said and climbed out of the vehicle. Leslie did the same.
“So, spill it. Where’d you get regressed to?”
“Don’t rush me,” I told Leslie as we both slammed our doors. “I’d rather talk once there’s a drink in my hand.”
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