“When you asked for a stateside assignment, does it mean as much travel as you’ve been doing?” she asked.
“There won’t be as much, depending on the job.”
“Any chance you could work from here? I still think this would be a great house to raise a family in. I could look this spring for a teaching job to start in the fall, give my notice where I am now at the end of the school year. That would give us months to sell the condo. Or we could keep it as a place to stay when we go to Washington. Or if you need to work there.”
“Early yet to know what a new job would entail. Let’s leave that up in the air for the present,” he suggested. He didn’t have a firm choice yet. But had been very clear when talking to Sam about what he wanted.
“I hate for this place to sit empty for so long.”
“It’s been empty for four months, another few won’t hurt it. We can come down every month for at least one weekend, to check on things.”
“We could start fixing it up the way we want it,” Caitlin chatted happily.
Zach felt impending doom at the direction of her thoughts. Just because he changed jobs didn’t mean everything was changing.
She ripped the tape off another box and opened the flaps.
“I found them!” she called excitedly. “This box has several journals and I recognize the old fashioned handwriting and the leather binding.”
Zach joined Caitlin. She was fanning through different books, putting one down to pick up another. “I don’t know the sequence, I wish she’d dated every first page just so I could put them in order. There are other journals here as well, different handwriting. Oh, this is so cool!”
“Let’s take them upstairs and see if we can put them in some kind of order,” he suggested. It was cramped in the narrow space between furniture and boxes.
“I hope she started writing after Jonathan died. The last one ended so abruptly.”
“If not, maybe someone else wrote about her.”
Zach carried the box up stairs and put it on the kitchen table. It was dusty and had cobwebs trailing from the base.
Caitlin wiped off the box, then opened it again and began to pull out the different books that housed thoughts of her ancestors.
The phone rang.
“Not again!” she exclaimed.
“It’s yours, not mine,” Zach said, pointing to the cell phone on the kitchen counter.
Caitlin dashed across to answer it.
“Hi, Abby, Merry Christmas!”
Zach continued to take out the books, opening each one to see if there were any dates. Some writers had dated each entry, but not the ones Tansy wrote. The dated ones he put in order. They were from the 1800s. The others had no dates. Maybe reading them would enable to determine approximate time frames.
“Things have changed for the best,” Caitlin was saying. “I’ll have lots to tell you when I get back. Are you having a good day? Yes, I want to talk to the kids. Was Jimmy thrilled with the bike?”
Zach turned slowly to watch his wife as she talked with Abby’s children. She looked so happy. She loved being a teacher. She’d talked about it early in their marriage. She had that same glow now.
Zach turned back to the task at hand. Time enough to discuss a family later. For now, she was happy to find the journals.
Caitlin hung up and went to stand beside Zach. He explained the two piles, one with dates, one without. She skimmed the first few pages of each book in the undated pile. She’d gone through almost all of them, not finding one she thought was a continuation of Tansy’s journal.
“Maybe she didn’t write again,” she said, setting yet another one aside and picking up a new one from the diminishing pile.
Zach was logging them into a file, with opening sentences for those that had no dates.
“Wait, this is it. I recognize her handwriting. Listen to this,” Caitlin said. “‘I saw a robin today. It is the first sign of spring. And I was pleased to notice him. The winter was long and I still feel dark and chilled in my soul. I go to Jonathan’s grave every day, but there is no comfort there. I’ve planted a rosebush and hope it grows. He loved roses.
“‘The farm is too much for me to handle alone now that planting season is upon us. I’ve hired a man to work the farm and invited my cousin Timothy and his wife to join me. I do not wish to live alone and they are young and full of life. I’m hoping to find some joy in living and maybe they will give me that.’” Caitlin looked up. “I wonder if this was written a few months after she learned of Jonathan’s death. Sounds like it, doesn’t it?”
Zach nodded. “Where is Jonathan buried?”
“I have no idea, maybe in the churchyard of that old church out on the Williamsburg road. We could go look.”
He glanced out the window. “When the weather improves.”
“Sissy,” she teased, going back to the journal.
He continued his task while she read silently.
“Zach,” her voice sounded odd.
“What?” He looked up.
“She’s writing about the gold locket Jonathan had given a neighbor to give to her on Christmas morning, one with their initials entwined. It was her most cherished possession. You were right, Jonathan had entwined a lock from both their hair to show they were joined forever,” Caitlin said, rubbing the necklace. “Do you suppose he had a premonition he wouldn’t be coming back?”
“He could have thought he wouldn’t be home in time for Christmas,” Zach suggested.
Caitlin shivered with the knowledge the locket she was wearing was Tansy’s. She’d suspected as much that morning, but this added to her belief.
As she read the words of the woman who had died so long ago, she didn’t find any mention of children. Tansy had not been pregnant with Jonathan’s baby. Had she later remarried?
It was too soon after Jonathan’s death for Tansy to be thinking along those lines. Yet Caitlin was impatient to find out what happened. She so hoped Tansy had found happiness—especially now when Caitlin found her own happiness.
She couldn’t believe Zach would change his career for her. For them. It showed how much he loved her. She’d be hard-pressed to give up her own job for him. Not that he asked her to—except to suggest she travel with him.
Did that mean he loved her more than she loved him? She felt odd with the idea. Why wouldn’t she give up her career for the man she loved if he asked? Or even without being asked. Marriage was a two-way street. One partner couldn’t make all the sacrifices. Had she been selfish in demanding he change? She wanted her husband home every night, but maybe it didn’t have to mean in Washington.
The thought was almost too overwhelming. Had she expected more than she should have?
She’d been so sure this fall that leaving Zach was the right choice. Now that they’d spent some time together, she couldn’t imagine not spending the rest of her life with him. And if he found a job in the U.S., it would mean they’d have a normal family life.
A lingering sadness filled her. Was it for Tansy? Caitlin was getting the happy ending denied Tansy.
She tried to shake off the melancholia. Her own life did not parallel Tansy’s. Granted both husbands had been gone for an extended period of time, and both she and Tansy had missed them terribly and feared for their lives. But unlike Jonathan, Zach was home and safe. She didn’t wish to delve beyond that right now.
After their early afternoon dinner, Caitlin wrapped the cookies to take to the neighbor. She dressed warmly and was ready before Zach.
“I don’t see why we need to do this,” he grumbled. “They probably have a ton of food and won’t even eat the cookies.”
“It’s tradition,” Caitlin said. “Tansy mentioned visiting friends and neighbors at Christmas. I want to start some new traditions as well. And if we move here, we’ll want to be on good terms with our neighbors.”
“A friendly hello as we drive out of the driveway would work,” he said, donning his own light jacket.
“Aren
’t you cold in that?” she asked.
“If I stay out too long, yeah, I get cold. But the weather feels good after the heat I’ve lived in for the last few months. I have a heavier jacket at home, but didn’t think to get it before starting out.”
Caitlin should feel guilty the drafts of her carefully thought out speech left carelessly behind had sent him hurrying after her without the rest he needed or the chance to get appropriate clothing.
She should, but she didn’t. His decisive move in following her showed her how much he cared. It meant all the more to her after last night.
She was buoyed with hope for their future.
The walk to Pearl Watson’s house was difficult. There was no sidewalk, so they walked across the yards. The snow hid any obstacles and made it difficult. Twice Caitlin slipped and would have fallen had Zach not caught her. She didn’t know how Pearl had made it the other day. Of course the snow hadn’t been as deep then.
The clouds parted and the sun shone, giving the snow a sparkling look as if a thousand diamonds glittered. It was almost too bright to see.
The visit was all Caitlin had hoped. Pearl had welcomed them warmly and thanked them for the cookies, which, luckily, Caitlin hadn’t dropped when she’d slipped. A fire burned merrily in the fireplace and the living room was decorated to the nth degree with fresh pine and holly and many ornaments and figurines that Caitlin guessed Pearl had collected over the years. Zach gave every indication he enjoyed the visit, talking football and sports with Bart and complimenting Pearl on her delicious mulled wine and fruit cake.
Caitlin knew he was being overly polite—he didn’t like fruit cake. Still, she appreciated his efforts.
They didn’t stay long, but Caitlin enjoyed the visit. It was fun, however, to return to their home together and close out the cold. They’d eat dinner, she’d model the fancy new nightie and knew exactly where they’d end up.
She could hardly wait.
Chapter Eleven
As if deliberately building the tension, when they entered the house, Zach suggested they watch a movie on television. Christmas favorites were playing all week and he thought one was starting in a few minutes.
“The only television is in your room,” Caitlin pointed out.
He shrugged. “So we watch it there.” His eyes gleamed, belying the casual tone of his voice.
Her heart skipped a beat.
“Want to take up some snacks?” she asked.
“Sure. Make it a light supper and later we can come down for dessert, if we want.”
She sliced some ham, added an assortment of cheeses, heated the biscuits and cut a couple of apples. The warm cider would round off the makeshift meal, she decided.
She wasn’t sure where Zach was while she was preparing their evening meal. She didn’t hear any murmured conversation, so at least he wasn’t on the phone. She spotted hers still on the counter and went to turn it off. Not that anyone was likely to call her, but just in case. She just wished she knew where his was, she’d turn it off as well.
And maybe chuck it out into the snow. Let him find it come spring!
Carrying the meal upstairs, she was surprised to find Zach had brought in a bunch of pillows, building a seating area for them on the double bed. A chenille afghan lay at the foot of the bed, to cover legs if they got cool watching the movie.
Soft lighting completed the ambiance. Caitlin smiled, feeling her anticipation rise another notch. Was he planning to watch TV or seduce his wife?
Zach switched on the set. The Christmas movie was just beginning. They watched the opening scenes of the familiar story while eating the light supper. Once they finished eating, Zach put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her close, snuggling her next to him as the action unfolded.
Caitlin tried to concentrate on the characters of the old black and white movie, but she was too conscious of Zach pressed along the length of her. His scent filled the air. His warmth kept the coolness at bay. She glanced over but he seemed absorbed in the film. She reached out to take his hand and threaded her fingers through his, feeling his palm against hers. This was a moment she’d remember forever. The two of them together in perfect harmony.
“If we decide to move here, I think we should put a fireplace in this room,” she said at one of the commercial breaks.
He looked at the outside wall where the chimney ran. “I suppose it could be fairly easily done, tapping into the existing chimney.”
“And we’d build the dock you wanted. Get a small boat.”
“Build a gazebo near the water, where we could sit on summer evenings,” Zach said.
Caitlin took it as a very positive sign that Zach was participating in her daydreams of what she’d have her ideal house be. Maybe they would move here and make it reality.
To Caitlin’s amazement, they made it through to the end of the movie. It was getting late. After making a big push to get her in bed since he arrived, she was a bit surprised he hadn’t rushed her tonight.
“Ready for bed?” he asked.
“I guess.”
“Try on the gown I brought,” he suggested.
She nodded, rising. Away from him, she felt the coolness of the air. At least the bed would be warmed from their bodies when they got in again.
“Let me get the dishes done first.” Was she deliberately tantalizing him by delaying? She smiled mischievously and gathered the plates.
Together they went downstairs. Caitlin put the dishes in the sink and rinsed them off while Zach turned off the Christmas tree lights and made sure the fire was contained.
He offered the box with the gown when she met him at the foot of the stairs.
“I’ll change in the bathroom,” she said breathlessly. She felt as shy as a new bride.
The gown fit perfectly, if a floating froth of sheer silk that flowed from her shoulders had any fit to it. The pale eggshell-blue was almost virginal. Excitement brought color to her cheeks. She brushed her hair until it gleamed, studying herself in the mirror. She looked like a bride. The light gleamed on the locket and she touched it lightly.
Her heart tripping double time, she wished she had a wrap or something to cover her from the bathroom to the bedroom. Head held high, feeling feminine and sexy, she almost floated to the room they’d share tonight.
Zach had turned back the sheets and shed most of his clothes. He wore only the dark trousers. One bedside light gave soft illumination.
He looked at her when she entered and Caitlin heard his breath catch.
“You are so beautiful,” he said, coming around the bed to meet her.
She was glad he thought so. Forgotten was the pain of the past, the long, lonely times. She had tonight and their future. Caitlin was sublimely happy as she walked toward the man she loved.
“You’re beautiful,” he repeated as he reached out to touch her soft shoulders, slipping the lacy strap down a bit and bending to kiss her warm skin.
“Gold and lace, you should always wear gold and lace,” he said as he drew her into his arms.
The light had been extinguished, the covers drawn over them. Caitlin lay in blissful afterglow, reveling in being in Zach’s arms. Her breathing had returned to normal and she felt safe and happy. This was how their marriage should have been all along. How it had been every time he’d returned home. She had lived in fear of his safety each time he left. His staying would make a world of difference.
The one thing to make their lives complete would be a baby.
She suddenly realized she hadn’t used any birth control and Zach knew she wasn’t on the pill. It was surely a sign he was ready to start their family, despite his words to the contrary. She smiled in secret glee. Maybe they’d make a baby that very night.
“Tell me about the job possibilities,” she said, feeling warm and sleepy. She wanted to know more. How did he feel about making the change?
“I’m not sure what they’ll have for me. Ideally I’d like a position that allows some analysis and then on-air
reporting. On the other hand, it’s the analysis part I like. I can do that without being the one to report it.”
“Won’t you miss the travel, seeing all those exotic places?”
“Only if foreign is considered exotic. War zones and disaster areas aren’t exactly the place of vacations. I’ve been doing this for twelve years, Caitlin. I might have done it for another twelve, but you’re too important to me. Time to let others get the news out and for me to settle down and come home each night to my wife.”
She smiled, rubbing her fingertips against his strong chest.
Her decision had brought this about. She hoped he’d never regret giving up his way of life for hers. She’d do all she could to make him happy and glad he’d made this change.
“It could be that by next Christmas, we’ll have someone else to share the holidays with,” she said dreamily.
“Hmmm?”
“A baby.”
She felt him tense. Her euphoric mood vanished in a heartbeat. She realized they really hadn’t discussed anything of significance. He said he’d look for a stateside job. But there’d been no mention of how soon. And what if he couldn’t find the one he liked?
Suddenly Caitlin felt vulnerable and uncertain. They hadn't talked about starting a family. She’d told him she was ready. When would he be?
“What?” she asked, feeling constrained by his embrace instead of warmed by it. “If you get a job in the U.S., there’s no reason we can’t start our family. We’re not getting any younger and I don’t want to be old parents like mine were.”
“Getting a job in the States is a long way from having a family. We need time to ourselves. Get to know each other all over again. I’m not sure I can live here. I might have to be in Atlanta or Washington or even New York. Too early to make firm plans until I know what I’ll be doing.”
“We’ve had time to ourselves. Six years’ worth. And we will still have time for each other. It takes nine months to have a baby. And even after it’s born, we’ll make time for the two of us. I love you, Zach. I want to share in my life, share in yours. We’ll always make time for us. But if you’re home all the time, any arguments about having a baby disappear. It’s time. Past time if you ask me.”
The Christmas Locket Page 12