by Lacey Black
“So, do you want to know what song?” he asks, standing his full six foot, two inch frame blocking half the light reflecting behind him.
“Yeah.”
“‘Breathe’.”
“I am breathing,” I retort.
Beau just closes his eyes and shakes his head before the laughter erupts from his gut. “No, the name of the song is ‘Breathe.’ Jesus, you are so difficult.”
“I am not. It’s not my fault I don’t know every country song sung by every country artist out there.”
“Fine, I’ll concede that point. Before we run through this, I wanted to tell ya that we’re starting duets this week. You’re paired up with Ben.”
“Ben? What are we singing?”
“I’m still working on it. You guys are scheduled for a practice tomorrow morning. I’ll have it narrowed down by then,” he says as he steps back around his music stand.
“Wait. Tomorrow? Don’t you have shows?”
“Not for a couple of weeks. I had a short break planned from the tour so I can focus on the show for a bit. I do it for each season. It helps with my concentration. If I could take the entire season of the show off from touring and give it my full attention, I would. But that don’t pay the bills or the crew and my band. So, the song. Let’s run through it a few times right now. We have a bit left before ya have to go to wardrobe.”
After listening to the music, giving me a feel for the song, Beau and I run through my latest song several times. It’s a beautiful song. To think that you can have that kind of passion and love, feel that kind of all-consuming desire for someone is a heady feeling. Not only is it a little bit of a wake-up call, but it also plants a little seed deep within my soul.
For the first time in a very long time, I start to entertain the idea of wanting that. I start to picture the something more that might be out there for me. Something for Eli and me, together. And that doesn’t scare me as much as I thought it would.
As I head back to the hotel after a long day at the studio, I run through the lyrics of the song several more times. The more I sing it, the more I can’t fight the image that accompanies it. The image of a certain tall, gorgeous cowboy. He twists me up inside and leaves me longing for more. Beau is dangerous with a capital D, and now he’s all I think about. I run through our entire morning together so many times I could play it backwards in my sleep. The song reveal. The hidden touches. The teasing. Everything he said. Then, I remember…
I didn’t even get to ask him about his surprise.
*****
“Mom, you sound like you’re in a tunnel. Why don’t you call me back?” I ask just as a knock sounds at the door. I climb off my bed and step over to the door, phone still pressed firmly against my head. When I look out, I don’t see anyone through the peephole.
“Mom, I gotta go. Someone’s knocking,” I say as I fling open the door.
To say I’m surprised is an understatement. Standing on the other side of my door is my mom and my son. I don’t even realize I’m crying as I throw my arms around them, pulling them so tightly against my chest, I wonder if I’ll ever be able to suck in air. But the reality is that I’m finally able to breathe. For the first time in weeks, I can feel like I can truly take a deep breath of sweet oxygen.
“Are you surprised?” she asks through her own tears.
“Are you kidding me? What are you doing here?”
“It’s part of your surprise,” she says as she releases her hold on Eli and leaves him tucked solely in my arms.
“What surprise?” I ask, confused.
“Beau. He had Eli and me flown in this morning,” she says with a knowing smile.
Beau did this? I can’t even believe it, yet I can completely see it. The man I’ve gotten to know these past few weeks is caring and considerate. He’s also spontaneous, apparently.
“Beau did this?” I ask, vocalizing the words in my head.
“Yep, arranged it earlier in the week. He said he knew you’d still be here after Thursday,” she says as she sets her purse down on the bed.
“He can’t do this. Everyone will read into this whole stunt, too,” I reply, sitting down on the edge of the bed.
“He brought in Ben’s sister, too, Layne. We’re going with you to rehearsal today so we can see how this whole thing works. He said something about you and Ben rehearsing for your duet.”
“Wait. You talked to Beau?” I ask.
“Well, duh. Of course I talked to him.”
Eli shimmies down my lap and reaches for the remote control. After finding a channel with cartoons, I help him climb up on my bed next to me and settles in for Paw Patrol.
“That man is crazy for you, Layne. He called to find out about coming out here for a bit. He offered to pay my missed salary and all the travel expenses. I wasn’t about to let him pay for my missed time from work, but he negotiated well enough and ended up covering all of our travel expenses. He’s even upgrading our room to a suite so that you can stay with us while we’re here,” she says.
“Wow, that’s so nice of him. And he brought in Ben’s sister too?” I ask in way of seeking confirmation.
“Yep. We rode from the airport together. She’s a sweetheart. You’ll meet her shortly when we get to the studio.”
I glance down at the clock on the nightstand, absently stroking Eli’s head. Just to feel his little body against mine again leaves me settled. “We need to head out soon.”
“Yeah, he was going to surprise you at the studio, but I didn’t think this moment should have been in public and recorded. I guess they’re going to fake another reveal when we get there for the cameras.”
Great. More acting.
I gather up my bags and my son and head for the door. With Maxwell being in the bottom two on Thursday night, he was sent home from the competition, leaving Ben and myself the sole two contestants on Team Beau. It worries me a little that they’re dropping like flies on our team. Hopefully that’s a trend that doesn’t continue in the upcoming week.
When we get to the studio, I happily show Mom and Eli around. We finish our tour at our small rehearsal studio where I find a smiling Beau. He’s standing in the corner with Ben and his sister. The way her hand is casually resting on his forearm sends prickles of something through my body. Could it be jealousy? God knows that it feels like it.
“There they are,” Ben says with a huge smile. He walks over pulls me into an unexpected tight hug.
I stand so straight it’s like someone attached a rod from the back of my neck to my ankles. It doesn’t help when my shocked eyes slam into the equally shocked ones of Beau. Except there’s something more in his eyes. Anger. Jealousy. Like he wants to pull Ben off of me, rip off his arms, and beat him to death with them.
I pull myself out of Ben’s arms while Beau hovers over his shoulder looking like a bear with a thorn in his paw. “This is my mother, Grace,” I say to the three people in front of me. “And this little man is my son, Eli.”
“You have a son?” Ben asks with pure shock…and maybe horror written on his face.
I pay no attention to him because it’s Beau that I’m drawn to. He crouches down in front of Eli and offers him a warm smile. “Hey, lil’ man. My name is Beau.”
“Hi,” Eli whispers shyly as he hides most of his face behind my right leg.
“Did you like the big airplane?” he asks, still crouching and having the conversation completely with Eli.
“I got these,” he whispers quietly as he pulls a little pair of plastic wings from his shorts pocket.
“Those are cool. That means you’re an honorary pilot. Maybe someday you’ll fly planes just like that one, huh?”
Eli nods vigorously as he steps out from behind my leg.
“Do ya want to come up front with me and watch your mom?” Beau asks. Eli stares up at him with big, wide, trusting eyes before he places his small hand inside of Beau’s much bigger one.
Before they can make their way up front, Eli points to Beau
’s hat. “I like your hat.”
“This ol’ thing?” Beau reaches up and removes his hat, placing it on my son’s head. It’s huge and swallows Eli’s head whole, but the smile he gives me when he turns around is enough to melt the glaciers in Antarctica. Instantly a lump the size of a tennis ball lodges in my throat causing me to choke on unspoken emotions. “Come on, Eli. I have a special spot up front for ya.”
I watch helplessly as Beau leads my son by the hand up to the front of the room. He picks him up and places him on his stool, tipping the hat back so that he can see his eyes. The smile that Eli gives him mirrors the one I see on Beau’s handsome face. The entire exchange pulls at my heartstrings, exposing my heart piece by agonizing piece. Something unravels in my chest. Something that resembles longing.
“This is my sister, Sara,” Ben says, breaking the Beau spell I’m under.
“Oh, hi, Sara. I’m Layne,” I reply, expending my hand to the petite brunette.
“Oh, I’ve heard all about you,” she replies with a meaningful smile. Something tells me that it has something to do with Ben’s crush.
“Let’s go ahead and get started,” Beau says.
Mom and Sara walk over to the stools along the far wall and get comfortable to view today’s rehearsals. Their eyes continually connect with the camera floating around the room. I’ve become so used to their tag-alongs that I don’t even know they’re there anymore. For someone on the outside who’s not used to the invasion, I can see where it can be distracting and uncomfortable.
“You guys are the last duet of Wednesday night’s show. I’ve considered several different songs and finally settled on one that I think will balance both of your ranges and your styles. So, for this week, you guys are singin’ Lady Antibellum’s ‘Just A Kiss’,” Beau says, staring straight at me–hell, straight to my soul–as he speaks.
Memories of our shared kisses flood my mind. The images flash on repeat and I can practically feel his lips touching mine all over again. I try to shake off the images, but looking up at Beau doesn’t help. The look in his eyes tells me all I need to know. I touch my tingling lips and know that he’s reliving the same moments I am. From several feet away, I can feel his touch.
“This is the perfect song for me and Layne,” Ben says cheerfully next to me.
And just like that…moment shattered.
“Let’s run through it a few times before I add the music. Layne, I know you’re probably not familiar with this song, so don’t hesitate to ask any questions ya may have,” Beau says.
Over the next hour, we run through the song several times. The words are beautiful. It’s a song about longing for that one perfect kiss. Nothing more. Just a kiss to signify the start of a budding relationship. The underlying meaning behind this song doesn’t go unnoticed by me. Neither do the smoldering looks Beau throws my way when everyone else’s eyes are elsewhere.
Eli was superb during rehearsal. Beau let him push the buttons on the mp3 player when we added the music. I can tell by the bright smile on his face that he felt like such a big helper and part of the rehearsal. Of course, wearing Beau’s hat the entire rehearsal only helped cement the fact that he was top dog for the day.
“So, we’re all goin’ to dinner tonight,” Beau says at the end of practice. “There’s an excellent hibachi grill not too far from the hotel that I thought would be great. They have a kids menu,” he says and looks directly at me. “I checked.”
My knees turn to jelly and my heart does this crazy schoolgirl flutter. This man is making it impossible to continue to resist him day in and day out. It’s getting harder not to lean in and kiss him. Contract and show be damned.
“I’ll meet y’all at the hotel. Say six o’clock?”
We all agree and head towards the waiting van. Ben and Sara chat animatedly the entire trip, making us laugh with their sibling banter. Yet, I can’t stop thinking about Beau. I know. Nothing new, right?
I just hope I can keep it together long enough to get through this show. Hell, I’d be happy to just get through this night.
*****
“You look beautiful,” Beau whispers in my ear as we’re led towards a grill at the far end of the restaurant. The entire place is buzzing with energy. I’ve only ever been to a hibachi grill one other time and I left with my cheeks hurting from laughter and stuffed to the gills.
“Thank you,” I whisper back as I let Eli pull me towards our spot.
“I’m in da middle,” he exclaims as he reaches for Beau for help onto his chair.
Fortunately, I’m saved from having to sit by Ben, who was hovering closely, when my mom grabs the empty seat next to me. Beau sits on the other side of Eli leaving Sara to his left and Ben on the other side of her.
Sara instantly strikes up a conversation with Beau, which haggles my annoyance. I try not to let it show, but when Beau catches my eye and raises his eyebrow in question, a faint blush creeps up my neck.
We each place our order with the waiter. Mom and I chose the chicken and shrimp with fried vegetables and rice while I ordered chicken and lo mein noodles for Eli. Beau chose the steak and shrimp with veggies and rice, and Sara and Ben each stuck with the salmon and shrimp.
The mood is light as we enjoy our pre-dinner cocktails. I catch Ben watching me over the shoulders of Sara and Beau, but try not to let it get to me. Beau casually rests his arm on the back of Eli’s chair, which leaves his arm hanging right by my shoulder. Occasionally, I feel the slightest touch of his finger against my bare skin. Each graze is like a bolt of lightning straight to the apex of my legs. God, what I wouldn’t give to feel those hands on me in other places.
When our chef comes out, he instantly makes sure the grill is clean. He starts to set out his supplies, spreads the oil down on the grill top, and grabs his spatulas.
“Watch this, buddy,” Beau says to Eli who is watching wide-eyed for the show to start.
“Lean back, Eli,” I tell him as I pull his chair back a little from the table. When they light the oil on fire, flames shoot up, dancing high above the top of the grill. It’s amazing to watch, but could definitely sear the hair off your arms or eyebrows if you’re not careful.
Note to self: Eyebrow-less is NOT the look I’m going for tonight.
There’s not much opportunity to visit while the chef is cooking. He flips his spatulas around, spinning them and catching them like some oriental version of the movie “Cocktail.” He even tries tossing cooked pieces of chicken from his utensils into Beau and Ben’s mouths. It takes several tries, but Beau finally catches a piece of meat in his mouth. Eli cheers loudly and seems pleased when Beau offers him a friendly, happy smile.
“So, Beau, did I hear you’re dating Penelope Shaw?” Sara asks, resting her hand on his forearm again.
“Um, no. I’m not,” he replies with that country drawl so prominent.
“Oh, I thought I read somewhere that you were. My mistake,” she says, batting her eyelashes just a little bit more.
“Nope. I was seen in public with her a few weeks ago at a meeting of mutual friends, and ya know how the media is. Seen in public means ya must be gettin’ hitched,” he says with the shake of his head.
He’s hatless tonight, which is a completely different way to view Beau. I’ve seen him take off his hat several times and run his long, lean fingers through those dark locks, but tonight the only indication of the cowboy underneath is the boots on his feet. His hair is styled nicely with no sign of hat-head, which tells me he must have showered before tonight’s dinner. Beau in the shower: God, talk about a mental image I’ll happily carry with me for the rest of the night!
“So you’re not seeing anyone?” she asks with a blindingly bright eager smile.
“Nope, but I’m not really lookin’ either.”
“Yeah, but sometimes those are the best relationships. The ones you weren’t looking for when they find you,” my mom adds to the conversation, drawing everyone’s attention to the woman over my shoulder.
; “That’s absolutely true,” Beau says. When I look back at him, those gray eyes are focused exclusively on me. My heart rate spikes and my palms start to feel a little damp. I’m sure my breathing looks similar to that of a poodle in heat.
The moment we share is broken when Sara grabs his arm and pulls him closer. Beau’s a great sport, not wanting to be rude to the overzealous woman, but doesn’t exactly respond to her advances either. Not that I blame her at all! If I was single (which I am) and not under contractual obligations (we all know the answer to that one), then I’d probably throw myself at the hottie in the seat next to me too!
“I’d love to see LA while I’m here. Are you familiar with it, Beau?” Sara asks not-so-subtly. Again, touching his arm.
“Only a handful of places and landmarks. When I’m here, I just don’t have time to sightsee,” Beau says. “But they have tours, I’m told, that you can take and see all the Stars’ homes and stuff. You should check into one,” he adds politely. Denied. Something about that makes me smile internally.
“Yes, well, maybe I will,” she replies with a small smile.
After dinner, we head back to the hotel. Beau is still with us, riding shotgun in the network van that we’re using for this evening. I’m not sure how he arrived at the restaurant, but apparently it wasn’t in his own vehicle. Knowing the network, he either has his own driver or his own car to use.
“Beau, wanna see my Legos?” Eli asks with wide, innocent eyes.
“I’d love to, buddy,” he replies, throwing him an award-winning smile that makes my belly flip-flop.
“You can help me build a house. I wike to build houses,” Eli adds.
The air crackles as we make our way to the bank of elevators. Eli has Beau’s full attention as they discuss different things you can make with Legos. Eli has those larger blocks that he loves to build things with. He’s too little for the tiny Legos right now, but if his love for building things continues, I can see many Lego purchases in my future.
As we step off the elevator on the top floor, I follow my mom towards our suite. We had moved all of my belongings up here earlier in the day before rehearsal. Eli and I are set up in the larger of the two rooms while Mom happily chose the smaller room. The view from the main seating area is stunning. You can see the mountains majestically rising in the background, dotted with million dollar mountainside homes that all look like they could tumble down the mountain if someone so much as sneezes.