“That won’t be for a while. If you’re tired, you can sleep over there.” Egan nodded toward the seat bench along the bulkhead next to the table.
The Russian staggered toward the table and dropped onto the seat. As Egan took his position at the wheel, Oleg leaned his head against the paneled wood.
“You have a very determined girlfriend. I see much of my boss in her,” Oleg said.
“She’s not my girlfriend.” No, she was more than that. He had yet to figure out what exactly, but she was definitely more than a girlfriend.
“Ah, then maybe you would not mind if I…”
“Not in this lifetime, comrade.”
“Ahhh, I see.”
Egan turned a grim face toward Oleg. “If you don’t want to take a swim with the sharks, you best keep your opinions and your hands to yourself.” He didn’t care what impression the Russian got from his threat, as long as he didn’t touch Kellee.
Satisfied that Oleg was secured, and mostly incapacitated from the motion sickness pills, Egan pulled out a chart from the slot next to the radio. Even though he had a marine GPS chartplotter, he wanted to double-check everything. He knew these waters, had navigated them with his uncle, but it had been some time since he’d done it at night. It would be tricky to keep the boat away from shipping lanes and warning buoys.
He plotted a course to Miami. Once done, he committed the route to memory and then rolled up the charts and put them away. Next, he fixed waypoints in the chartplotter. Satisfied everything was set for the trip, he walked astern and opened the cabin hatch. “Kellee! I’m getting ready to start her up.”
She glanced up at him and waved.
“Come inside, so we can get underway. Can’t have you falling overboard.”
He waited while she made her way aft and followed him into the cabin. He nodded toward the counter. “Would you make some coffee, please?”
“Sure.” She opened the small pantry where he’d stored the groceries they purchased earlier and pulled out a container.
Leaving her to the task, he started the engine and prepared the Suzy G for the run south. He knew the route. He knew the coastline. What he didn’t have was a plan for when they got on land. That was uncharted territory, leaving his path—and Kellee’s—unknown.
****
“He’s sound asleep,” Kellee said, referring to Oleg stretched out on the galley bench snoring loudly. She placed a fresh cup of coffee in the holder next to Egan’s elbow and stood beside him to look out at the inky sea.
“Good,” Egan said. “The motion sickness pills I gave him should keep him out for a few hours.”
The wheelhouse lights were off so they could see the water ahead. A red glow from the instrument panel kept from ruining their night vision while the rest of the interior remained dark. Running lights on the exterior of the boat warned other boaters their vessel was in the area. They’d been traveling steadily south for three and a half hours.
“Come over here and let me show you how to hold course.” He gestured for her to join him at the wheel.
Egan wanted her to steer the boat? Excitement jolted through her. “What do you want me to do?” She clasped her hands, afraid to touch anything.
“Keep her steady,” he said. “Like this.” He demonstrated how to hold the boat wheel. “Do you see those lights offshore on your starboard side?”
Far to her right, lights from the beach towns and houses dotted the coastline. Farther in the distance, the radiant glow from a larger city hung over the land like an artificial sunset.
“Keep your eye on that beacon out there.” He pointed to a strobe light suspended above the ocean.
“Is it a lighthouse?”
“No. A warning buoy, but we’re not heading for it,” he said. “Keep it at your one o’clock. That will guide us clear of the cape.”
“Okay,” Kellee said with more confidence than she felt.
“You ready?”
She nodded and he released his right hand, opening up the position behind the wheel. She stepped in front of him and placed her right hand where his had been. She curled her left hand over the wheel just above his. Together they piloted the boat. He stood close behind her, subtly adjusting their course with skilled touches.
As his strong fingers guided the wheel, gently persuading the boat to keep on course, warmth from his body wafted around her. His scent was of primal sea, soap, and sweat. A tremor of awareness passed through her, making her left hand shake. Immediately, Egan wrapped his hand over her knuckles to steady the wheel. His touch sent blood singing through her veins. Incredibly, it also calmed her nerves.
“Keep centered,” he whispered. “Stay focused on your task.”
Kellee nodded, not trusting her voice. What this man could do to her with just a touch.
Slowly, he released her hand, giving Kellee total control of the wheel. The feel of the powerful motor in her hands nearly overwhelmed her. However, it was Egan’s trust that completely overshadowed the thrill of steering the boat.
“You’re doing great,” he said.
She took her eyes off the water, beaming at his compliment. Her hand drifted a little, and the boat veered to the right. He grabbed the wheel to correct their course. “Hold her steady.”
She faced front again and kept both hands firmly on the wheel. “Got it.” She didn’t want him to regret his decision to let her help.
Egan stood beside her for another minute, watching the water and coastline. Then he glanced at Oleg still snoring away at the galley table. “I’m going to take a short break,” he said and walked around her to the lower bedroom.
Kellee nervously held the boat wheel and all its power in her hands. Egan hadn’t shown her any of the instruments or how to stop the boat if something went wrong. She’d just have to make sure nothing went wrong. She ventured a glance over her shoulder. Oleg was still sleeping. Everything was running smoothly. This was an opportunity to scale that wall of Egan’s by proving she was recovered and capable of the task ahead. With luck, there’d be several more chances.
When Egan returned a few minutes later, his hair was damp. Droplets clung to the locks that curled along his neck. He’d obviously showered. He hadn’t been gone long enough for a power nap, but he appeared rested. He’d changed his shirt, and Kellee caught the clean fragrance of deodorant. Stubble shadowed his jaw. She wanted to reach out, stroke his beard and smooth the bandage on his head. Wisely, she kept her hands on the wheel.
Stepping in beside her, he took over the wheel. “Thanks. I have her now. Why don’t you go below and sleep? There are still a few hours before we get there.”
“I’m not tired,” she said. “You should rest, though. I’m sure your head must hurt.” Although Egan appeared to have taken a gunshot wound in stride, the horror of almost losing him still made her sick in her stomach.
“I’m fine,” he said. “I want to push the engine for a little more speed.”
“Then I’ll keep you company.” She reluctantly stepped away from the wheel but remained close to stare out the window. Her eyes had grown accustomed to the darkness. Shapes took form in the night. She could identify another boat way out to the left of their position and could discern where the land met the sea.
“I don’t think you’ve completely recovered from your injury,” Egan said. “You ought to rest.”
She sighed. She was tired but not sleepy. Too much had happened in such a short time. Old memories raced around with the new revelations, refusing to let her mind relax. “It seems like a lifetime since the storm. So much has happened. I don’t know what normal feels like.”
“That’s why you need to take it easy.” His tone was seductive, but decisive.
“I will,” she said, resisting the temptation to lie down. “Just not right now.”
“Suit yourself.”
Kellee climbed onto the captain’s chair and watched Egan pilot the boat in silence.
She loved his company—had always looked forward to their
early morning workouts. Even with all the turmoil going on around them, he had a sense of purpose that intrigued her. He seemed to accept the direction his life had taken and was at peace with it. Whereas she felt tossed about on each new wave of information. She wondered if she’d be carried out to sea, drowned in the undertow of a riptide. Or would she eventually find a port to call her own?
The steady thrum of the engine lulled her and she started to doze. Jerking awake, she realized she had to talk, or she’d fall asleep in the chair. Without thinking, she asked the question that had bothered her last night. “Who’s Suzy?”
Egan reached for his cup and took a swallow of coffee, as he sent her a sidelong glance. He raised a questioning eyebrow.
“You know, the girl you named the boat after,” she explained.
“You mean the Suzy G?”
Kellee nodded.
“She’s not a girl,” he said. “Well, I guess she was a girl once. She was Uncle Chuck’s wife. He named the boat after her.”
“What’s the ‘G’ stand for?”
“Funny you should ask,” he said putting his cup down. “I never found out. Rory probably knew. He knew everything.”
“Your brother?”
“Yeah,” Egan said heavily.
“Tell me about him,” she asked. “Please.”
She was treading on thin ice, but after the last few days, she decided that tomorrow could take care of itself. She didn’t want to worry about propriety and niceties. She wanted to learn as much as she could about Egan. Right now. Today.
A long minute passed as Egan stared out the front window, his hand making slight adjustments to the wheel. She thought he was going to ignore her request. Then he spoke, his quiet voice finding her in the darkness.
“He was three years younger than me. Insatiably curious. Always getting into things that didn’t belong to him. Always asking questions.” A smile lightened his voice. “If you wanted to keep a secret, you didn’t tell Rory.”
“I saw pictures of him in the album,” Kellee said. “He was in the Navy, too?”
She sensed a nod, but he didn’t speak.
“Did you join the Navy together?”
“No.” Egan took another swallow of coffee. Silence stretched long after he returned his cup to the holder.
Something told her he was struggling with his memories. She waited, giving him the time he needed.
“I joined the service right out of high school. I was in SEAL training when Rory enlisted.”
There was a long pause. When he didn’t speak again she asked, “How did he die?”
Egan shifted his position, adding her to his line of sight. His face was shadowed by the night, but she sensed his dark eyes were filled with grief. Anger pulled harshly at the line of his mouth.
“I killed him.”
Shock stole the words from her. She didn’t know how to respond. There was nothing she could say. His pain, as tangible as though it was her own, knifed though her. Egan wasn’t capable of killing his own brother. Yet, guilt reflected in his dark eyes.
“Rory followed me into the SEALs. He wanted to be like me. I encouraged him. Egged him on. If I hadn’t—” Egan swallowed, taking his time before speaking again. “He died during a live-fire training exercise.”
“Then you didn’t kill him,” Kellee exclaimed.
“You don’t understand,” he said. Anger, fused with self-recrimination, edged into his voice. “I might as well have pulled the trigger. I was in charge of the training exercise. I was accountable.”
“It must have been an accident.”
“Yeah, that’s what all the official reports said. But it didn’t matter. The safety of those men rested with me. They were my responsibility. Rory was my responsibility.” He swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing several times. “I’d promised to watch over him.” The words broke as he choked them out. He stared stoically out the front wheelhouse window and pushed the throttle, forcing more speed from the boat. The pitch of the engine changed.
Kellee imagined Egan was trying to outrun his own pain. More than anything, she wanted to wipe the guilt away from his heart. To heal his bruised soul. Only she didn’t know how. She was barely able to deal with her own confused emotions. “He wanted to be a SEAL, didn’t he?” she asked.
“Yes.”
“And he died as a SEAL?”
“Yes.” His voice cracked.
“Then you gave him what he wanted.”
His head swiveled, his hard stare boring into her. “Like I’m giving you what you want? You could die tomorrow, Kellee, and it would be my fault.”
“I’m not going to die,” she said with conviction. Not now. Regardless of her earlier thoughts about living only for today, she had too much at stake. She had Egan. She wouldn’t die on his watch. She owed it to him to stay alive. Slipping off the captain’s chair, she stepped behind him.
Her heart thundered. His body heat mingled with a spicy scent and drifted through his shirt. She wanted him. Ached to feel his lips on hers. Yearned to feel his body on hers. But tonight wasn’t about her.
She rested her head against the back of his shoulder and wrapped her arms around his solid chest. Tonight, Egan needed comfort. That was the one thing she could give him.
****
Gooseflesh tightened Egan’s skin when Kellee’s arms clasped around him. He glanced down at her slender fingers splayed across his chest, the tips barely meeting.
Sweet, sweet Kellee. What was he going to do about her?
He’d surprised himself—opening up about Rory like that. When Egan joined Northstar, he’d told Kellee’s father the facts about Rory’s death, but he’d never revealed that he’d felt responsible. Although, it couldn’t have been hard for O’Neal to guess, given the Monday morning hangovers Egan brought to work. Two weeks into his first month, the director insisted Egan teach martial arts to the staff. Early morning workouts were mandatory for the first three months of training. Since Egan was the instructor, he had to remain sober to teach. It had kept him clean, but it hadn’t completely healed the festering wound.
Tonight was the first time he’d talked about his buried feelings. Kellee’s questions had lanced open the lesion—stabbed at the center—and forced the poison to drain. The wound was tender from the experience. Yet, with each passing moment in her arms, the throbbing ebbed.
Kellee’s unselfish caring had begun to heal him.
She rubbed her cheek against his back, attempting to console him, but the sensual movement had the opposite effect. Shifting to ease his discomfort, he stared ahead at the water and concentrated on keeping the boat off the shoals.
Reaching behind him, he drew her to his side. Her presence was like a balm, soothing and peaceful. Breathing in her scent, he relaxed. She snuggled against him, fitting him like a missing puzzle piece. He brushed a kiss across the top of her hair. He didn’t deserve her. He didn’t want to want her in his life. But he needed her. More than he needed his next breath.
****
With the one refueling stop complete, the boat traveled on through the early morning dawn. Kellee spelled Egan a couple more times to give him a rest. After the last time, she simply stood beside him, a quiet, watchful companion.
Around five a.m., she started a fresh pot of coffee.
“Look,” she said, pointing through the port side window.
Egan glanced to his left and saw a hint of crimson cresting above the black Atlantic.
“Red sky in morning,” he said.
“Sailor’s warning.” She finished the old saying. “I didn’t realize there was another storm coming.”
“The marine report warned about a tropical depression off the coast of Cuba, but it wasn’t expected to turn northeast for another day.”
“The weather man bungled again,” Kellee said, handing Egan a fresh cup of coffee. “That looks like a storm to me.”
He took a sip from the cup and put it in the holder. “Let’s hope it stays away long enough f
or us to complete our business and get back to the boat.”
Chapter Seventeen
The Suzy G was about a mile off the south Florida coast. Under partly cloudy skies, a sprawling metropolis stretched from north of Ft. Lauderdale to south of Miami. Although the air was warm, Egan took note of the gathering clouds through the port cabin window. The rosy hue of the sunrise had given way to the storm front. He was glad they were close to their destination. Getting caught on the Atlantic during hurricane season wasn’t something he wanted to experience, especially after what Kellee had already been through.
“What happens next?” she asked as they motored closer to the shoreline.
“We’ll drop off our friend, Oleg, here.” Egan glared at the unwelcome Russian. “There are some people very interested in talking to him about what happened in Little Landing.”
“You would turn me in to the authorities?” Oleg’s glare was malevolent. “After I gave you what you asked?”
“In a heartbeat.” The Russian goon had provided a number to contact Nikolai. That was all Egan wanted from him. He had a hard enough time dealing with the decision he’d made to allow Kellee to meet Nikolai without worrying about Oleg, and any revenge plans he might have.
“What about our involvement?” Kellee asked. “Won’t the police detain us?”
“We aren’t going to deal with the police.” Egan’s tone was intentionally harsh to stop the discussion.
Kellee looked uneasy, but didn’t argue.
A few minutes later, Egan navigated the boat inside a marina. He coasted up to the dock where two men waited for their arrival—all arranged by an earlier radio call to Paul. The old dockmaster had come through for Egan, again.
“Who are those guys?” Kellee stared out the portside window.
“Friends of mine.” Egan gave a small smile at seeing two of his buddies, Donny and Jason, from his old SEAL team. “They’re here to help.”
He eased the boat alongside the dock and one of the men jumped across to the aft deck. “Permission to come aboard?” he shouted.
“Permission granted, Donny,” Egan replied.
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