by Bianca D’Arc
As Alan drove Eileen home, he was thinking about the future. He might’ve been counseling her to live in the now, but he was still facing a huge decision about where his life would go from here, and Eileen was quickly becoming a big factor in that decision. It seemed impossible that a woman he’d known for so short a time should have such an influence on his decision, but the more he was around her, the more she factored into his thoughts about the future.
When he thought about quitting the Navy, she was there, in his mind, looming large in the way he wanted his life to be after the service. But was she thinking along the same lines? Would this amazing attraction between them work out to something that lasted…perhaps a lifetime?
Alan just wasn’t sure, but each time he thought about it, he wanted it a little bit more. He hadn’t thought about a permanent bond with any woman in a very long time, but Eileen was breaking all sorts of barriers in his mind down, without even trying. With her, he could imagine a future. A little house. A family. A home.
For the first time in a long time, he wasn’t just looking for a girlfriend for right now. No, with Eileen, he wanted a relationship that would last a lot longer than the short leave he had left. He was thinking permanent. That wasn’t something he’d done since before becoming a SEAL.
Something about her courage in the face of heartbreaking grief touched a chord in him. He didn’t see her as a broken-winged sparrow in need of saving. That kind of relationship wasn’t built to last, in his opinion. No, Eileen was more the downed hawk that only needed a strong air current to get back into the sky where she belonged. She had strength and smarts. She might be down right now, but he was pretty sure she wouldn’t stay there.
He admired that, and so much more, about her. He wanted to spend every free moment with her and learn all her secrets, but he had to take this slow. Or, at least as slow as he could manage. His libido might get the better of him, but he was trying hard to respect the fact that Eileen was probably not as experienced as some of the women he’d dated in the past, no matter that she spent her weekends in bars.
The pubs and parties she played were Irish pubs and family gatherings. Respectable venues with respectable people who looked out for her. Especially the guys in her band. Alan hadn’t missed the way they’d come to check him out.
He pulled up in front of her house much too soon. Alan stopped the car and put it in park then turned to her.
“Do you want to come inside for some coffee or maybe a glass of wine?” she offered, surprising him.
Alan wasn’t stupid. He might have just been thinking about taking this slow, but she was inviting him in. Maybe she didn’t want slow. Maybe he ought to let her decide how fast or slow or…whatever. Yeah. That was a good plan.
“I’d love to come inside.” Oh, boy, would he love to come inside.
He tried to dial his enthusiasm down a bit as she unlocked the door to her home. She’d invited him in. She hadn’t invited him to be a jerk and jump her bones the moment he got in the door. Calm, man, calm, he repeated in his head.
Only…when Eileen got the door open, and they both got inside, she kicked the door shut with her heel, and then…
Glory, hallelujah! She pinned him against the wall beside the door and kissed him like there was no tomorrow.
Eileen hadn’t really planned to jump all over Alan the moment she shut the door, but she really just couldn’t help herself. She’d been wanting to kiss him all through dinner, and she just couldn’t wait any longer. Not if she wanted to keep her sanity.
She didn’t give him a chance to say anything She just threw herself at him. She’d probably be really embarrassed about it tomorrow, but right now, she had no room for embarrassment. Not when she was kissing him and he was responding.
After a moment of what she assumed was probably shock, he’d become a full participant in the kiss. He’d put his arms around her and tugged her close. Then, his hands had started to roam in all the right directions.
He rolled them over against the wall so that her back was to it, and she practically growled as the position gave her more leverage to slide her legs upward. Smart man. He knew just how to move to achieve the most mind-bending arousal of her life.
She’d never been so forward with a man. Not ever. But life was lonely now, and she’d just assumed she’d never meet a guy who could make her forget all her inhibitions and throw caution to the wind…until now. Alan was a dream come true in almost every respect. The only problem was his career—and whether he’d choose to retire and stay here or go away again for a couple of years.
She was almost at the point where she’d wait for him, if he asked. She was falling more for him each time she saw him, and she was very much afraid her heart would never be the same after he left…if he left. Maybe she could convince him to stay.
Not with sex. Though, if she was being honest, her actions right now probably would influence him along those lines. But really, this passion that was rising between them was organic. Unplanned and irresistible. And if he did still decide to leave… Well… She didn’t want to have any regrets.
She wanted to grab for that brass ring while she was still on the carousel. After he was back on active duty and shipped off somewhere else, it would be too late. She had to reach for the memories while she had him in her grasp. And she already knew she wanted the memory of his kiss…of his touch…of his lovemaking…to hold against what might be lonely years to come.
After spending this time with Alan, she just wasn’t sure she’d be able to feel this way about anybody else. That was the stark, simple truth. He was just that good. Now, she wanted to find out if he was that good at everything—particularly in the bedroom. Or on the couch. Or the kitchen table. Or even right here, up against the wall. She didn’t really care about the location. She just wanted him inside her. As soon as possible.
“Alan,” she panted when he let her up for air. “Alan.”
She couldn’t seem to get out more than his name, but he seemed to understand her urgency. He lifted her up, his hands under her bottom as she all but wrapped her legs around his waist. Then, he carried her into the living room, and the wide, soft couch that was waiting there.
Perfect.
Things were just getting good when…the phone rang. Alan stilled, his body pressing her into the couch.
“The machine will get it,” she told him, tugging at his shoulders, wanting him to kiss her again, but he held himself away as the machine clicked on in the other room. She could hear it answer, and then, her father’s voice came over the line.
“Hey, Pumpkin. Sorry to bother you so late, but it’s kind of important. Can you pick up?”
Eileen felt as if cold water had been dumped all over her. Talk about a shock to the system. Alan took one look at her face and sat up, freeing her from his embrace.
She shot away from the couch and raced for the phone in the next room. Her dad would start to worry if she didn’t answer. He so rarely called her at this hour that she was immediately concerned that something might be wrong. She picked up the phone, and the machine clicked off, allowing her to talk to him in private.
Alan realized that was probably the end to the romance for tonight, but he wasn’t upset by it. They’d been moving really fast, and now that he had a moment to think about it, he wondered if fate hadn’t just stepped in and put the brakes on for a reason.
What he was beginning to feel for Eileen was something he didn’t want to rush. He wanted to explore the friendship they were building before it got all complicated with sex. Not that he didn’t desire her. On the contrary, he wanted her like his next breath. But he also wanted to see where this relationship would go next.
Eileen was special. She was also the kind of girl he could see himself spending the rest of his life with. If that was going to be the result of this adventure, he was willing to take things slow and let them build. He wanted her to be sure before they went too far. He didn’t want her to have any regrets.
He co
uld hear her talking softly with her dad in the other room. Alan straightened his clothing—she’d been eagerly tugging at his shirt and had even unbuttoned his pants. While a major turn on, he guessed the time for fun and games was well and truly over. At least for tonight.
The look on her face when she returned to the living room after hanging up the phone only confirmed his suspicions. She seemed a little timid and more nervous than she’d been all night. Damn.
“Sorry,” she said, moving closer but remaining on her feet, looking uncomfortable.
“Is everything okay?” Alan asked, hoping, for her sake, that her father’s phone call hadn’t been about anything bad.
“Yeah. Mostly.” She sighed a little, and he caught the look of concern that floated across her features as she looked away for a moment. “But it’s nothing we can’t handle. My brother and his wife are having problems, and Dad wants me to talk to her. See if I can help.” Eileen shook her head. “I have no idea why he thinks I can do anything to help that messed-up scenario, but I promised to try. He’s arranging for me to have lunch with my sister-in-law tomorrow.”
“Yikes.” Alan got the impression from what Eileen had told him about her brother that she wasn’t looking forward to intervening.
“Yeah,” she agreed, leaning against a chair across from him. “Do you want a drink?” she asked, but he got the impression her mind was elsewhere.
Alan stood. “No. I should probably be going. I had a really great time tonight.”
She came closer. “I’m just sorry we got interrupted,” she said in a low tone that rekindled a little of the flame that had been doused by her father’s call.
“We’re still going skiing on Thursday, right?” he asked, already looking forward to their next encounter.
“Yeah, sure. I’ll look for my skis tomorrow, but I don’t know if they’ll fit in my car.” She shook her head as she made a humorous face.
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll borrow my brother’s truck. Four-wheel drive and plenty of room for skis and gear. They’re forecasting a little bit of snow, but it should be okay for a quick day trip. I don’t think there’s going to be much accumulation,” he told her. It was rare to have a really big storm in December. Flurries, yes. Blizzard, not so much.
“Okay,” she agreed, moving with him toward the front door.
He didn’t really want to leave, but that phone call had destroyed the mood, and he knew it was for the best, in the long run. Still, he paused by the door to lean down and kiss her one last time.
That kiss almost escalated into something a lot more enduring, but he pulled back before it could get away from him. He knew retreat was the best course of action in this particular circumstance. He’d see her again in just a little over thirty hours or so. He could wait. Especially if she was meant to be in his life for years to come.
How he handled this time they had together now could well decide both their fates. He had to be cautious.
CHAPTER NINE
Thursday morning dawned bright and cold. Snow was forecast, which wasn’t unheard of in December, but it probably wouldn’t amount to much. In any case, it wasn’t enough to stop the planned ski outing.
Alan picked her up, as promised, in a vehicle that had four-wheel drive and plenty of room for her skis and equipment. She’d had to search the garage to find her old skis and poles, but they were all in good working order. Okay, maybe the skis could use a fresh application of wax, but she wasn’t a professional skier. She was more along the lines of a gifted amateur who had loved skiing a few years back, but hadn’t gone in too long to really know what her equipment needed.
They weren’t going for Olympic gold. The skis she had would be good enough for a day on the beginning and intermediate slopes. She wasn’t about to try any black diamond runs. Not with so little recent experience on a mountain. She was only out to have a little fun on some relatively safe terrain then drink hot cocoa in the lodge.
Mount Peter was one of the smaller resorts, but it was in easy driving distance, and they made it up the New York State Thruway to Route 17 in the brisk, cold sunshine, arriving well before lunch—and just before the rest of the group they were meeting up there. Alan surprised her by pulling a very long pair of skis out of the back of the truck, along with her own, much shorter pair. Skis were fitted according to the height of the user, so the really tall skis had to be Alan’s.
“I didn’t know you had your own skis,” Eileen commented as he dragged the skis, poles and two boot bags out of the back of the truck.
“Yeah, I skied a lot in college but haven’t been out on the slopes since I joined the Navy. My folks still had my gear, though, stuffed into the garden shed. I found it yesterday,” he told her.
“Mine was in the garage,” she commiserated.
“Maybe we ought to take it through the pro shop and have them take a quick look before we risk our lives on the slopes,” he mused, looking over the edges of his skis with a practiced eye. “They could probably use a fresh coat of wax. Maybe they can do it quick for us before we head up the mountain.”
She’d been thinking along those same lines. “That actually sounds like a really good idea.”
“I’ll text the others and tell them to meet us by the ski shop. Some of them will probably have to rent equipment anyway.” He hefted both boot bags over one shoulder and his skis and poles over the other but let her carry her own skis and poles as they headed for the lodge.
A quick look around inside and they headed for the shop. There wasn’t anyone else inside, so they were able to get an expert to look over their skis right away. As they were finishing up, Alan’s twin brothers and some of their friends showed up. The twins had their own gear, but a few among the passel of friends needed to rent skis, so Alan and Eileen left the now-crowded shop to exchange greetings with the twins just outside.
Before long, they were all headed up to the lift area. The newbies were going to take a lesson, and the twins raced straight for the black diamond trails. Eileen was content to try a few rounds on the bunny hill, just to get her sea legs under her again. Alan agreed, and they made their way to the tow rope that would get them up the gentle slope.
“You sure you don’t mind a jog down the bunny hill with the kiddies?” she asked Alan, just to be sure he wasn’t too embarrassed by her request to start at the bottom and work their way back up to more difficult trails.
“Not at all. Like I said, it’s been years since I’ve been skiing. It’s a good idea to re-acclimate slowly to a skill you haven’t tried in a while. I wouldn’t want you getting hurt, after all,” he told her, hugging her to his side.
The effect of the hug wasn’t altogether lost with the puffy layers of ski parkas between them. In fact, she was feeling a warm glow in her center, just being around Alan.
He was good as gold, accompanying her through every misstep and stumble. Every slide in the wrong direction and a spectacular fall that sent her skis going one way and her boots going another. He collected her skis for her when they started to slide away and helped her reattach them to her boots, laughing all the way. She couldn’t remember when she’d had so much fun.
It was only later, when they took a lunch break in the lodge, that the past came back to haunt her. She remembered high school and she and Mary learning how to ski. Together. They’d done just about everything together during those formative years, and it was hard to remember the fun times they’d had without also remembering the sorrow that was so new.
“Mary and I did a weekend trip to Camelback when we were in college. We met a few friends there and had an absolute blast, but it was the last time she ever went skiing. She didn’t exactly take to the sport like an old hand.”
Eileen laughed, remembering the fashion disaster that had happened when Mary had taken a huge fall, and her borrowed ski pants—that were just a little bit too snug—had ripped at the seams. On her butt. An emergency trip to the little girls’ room and a judicious tugging at the hem of her borrowed
parka had kept anyone but Eileen from knowing about the disaster.
Between them, they got the giggles over the entire situation and cracked up, but couldn’t explain to the puzzled ski instructor what was going on. See, he was handsome and young, and Mary had her eye on him from the start. Once the pants issue had been fixed—by rapid application of a credit card at the ski shop inside to purchase a new, slightly larger-sized, pair of ski pants—Mary had gone on to bedazzle the instructor so that he spent the evening with them, on his own time.
They’d both benefitted from the extra “lessons”, but it was Mary who had made a conquest of the guy. While Eileen had gone off on her own to ski, Mary had spent the rest of the night, until the place closed, with the guy. He’d bought her drinks, and when Eileen came in from the slopes, she’d found them sitting together in front of the fire looking very cozy, indeed.
Eileen told Alan the story, pausing here and there as memories threatened to overtake her. Before she realized it, Alan’s arm was around her, snuggling her into his side. She felt safe with him. Protected. Almost…cherished.
“Sounds like you have good memories of your friend,” Alan said softly. They had finished lunch and were sitting by a roaring fire, drinking the first of what she supposed might be multiple cups of cocoa that day.
“Good and bad,” she admitted. “Like any normal friendship that lasts that long, we had our ups and downs.”
“Sounds about right,” Alan allowed. “I’m sorry if this has been a bit more than you expected. We don’t have to stay.”
“Oh, no. I’m okay. Just wallowing, I guess. But I’m having a really great time here today, with you. I don’t want to leave yet. I’d forgotten how much I enjoy being out in the sun and snow. It’s really invigorating.”