by Alice Bell
I mopped around the pillars.
A scurrilous sound alerted me to the top balcony and I caught a glimpse of a shadow. I saw the tell-tale sweep of dreadlocks, before she hid.
Unbelievable. She was spying on me now?
Treacherous bitch.
I moved away, under cover of the stairs.
I still had my fists. If she came anywhere near me. And I had the mop. I’d gauge out her lying eyes.
Didn’t she know? I was capable of anything. What could they do to me? Drag me back to the dungeon?
I heard her coming down the stairs. I gripped the handle of the mop.
“Devon?” her voice was tiny, coming from somewhere above me. She was scared, as she should be. “Devon, I need to talk to you.”
She wanted me to come to her.
I stayed where I was.
My traitor of a heart thumped. Why did I care? After all my vows not to?
I heard her breath, as she ventured closer. “Devon, listen … just listen to what I have to say.”
My jaw clenched.
“Please …” there was desperation in her voice.
She’s nothing but a liar.
And yet, I stepped out from under the alcove, to look her in the eye.
Light spilled down and lit her face. She was dressed up, in diamonds and jeans, like a movie star, like a dark angel. “I—”
“Don’t,” I said.
“Devon—”
“You need to leave, Claudia.”
“I want to help you. Please listen.”
“I’m going to lose it in about five seconds.”
“Can you just—”
“One one hundred …”
“Devon …”
“Two one hundred.”
She lurched toward me and I jumped back, dropping the mop. To my horror, she fell to her knees and wrapped her arms around my waist. Ruby’s memory lashed at me.
“I’m so sorry.” Her voice was muffled.
“Get up,” I grabbed her arms, like I’d done with Ruby, worlds ago. I wrested her to her feet. She let herself go limp and dropped to the floor.
“Stop it.”
But she stayed on her knees. She took my hands and kissed them.
I stilled.
“I can get you out,” she whispered.
I didn’t believe her.
“They’re closing the realm, Devon. You have to go. Tonight.”
I would be insane to trust her.
“They’re killing all the wayward demons. When the last soldier comes home, the realm will be sealed.”
I was at her mercy. She could lead me straight to my death. In fact, I figured she would.
We walked out into the street, an angel and her demon.
We left the heart of the city, passing by the glowing capital. I cast a glance up at the light-filled windows. Zillah was in there somewhere, in her royal purple gown.
We turned down more streets. Lamps cast our shadows.
As we approached the demon quarters, the lights got fewer and far between. We turned into an alley, and went through a back door.
Music throbbed, bootlegged (old school) The Jesus and Mary Chain.
I thought of Ruby playing the piano the night we met, the night I followed her home. There had been a crystal chandelier, casting her in a pink, fractured light. She’d sang that song, plunking out the notes on a piano that needed tuning. I’d watched her from the shadows; invisible, dangerous, the worst kind of predator, the kind who wants your soul.
“Hey,” Claudia said. “This way.”
I followed her around the corner. A hulking shadow stepped out to block our path, a demon. I braced myself, in case he aimed a steel toe at my crotch, but he shoved a leather bag into Claudia’s arms.
“Come on,” she led me down a skinny hall, into a dingy bathroom. She slid the deadbolt across the door.
A bare bulb hung above us, naked and ugly. I had got used to the pretty side of town.
My gaze dropped to an image of my face on the grimy wall. My lips were red. A drop of blood fell from my fangs.
“Just kill me already, why don’t you?” I said to Claudia.
“Don’t be so melodramatic.” She unzipped the bag and took out a bundle of clothes and threw them at me. “Put those on.”
“Oh, shit.” They were leather, like Decimus wore. “This doesn’t seem like a good idea.”
“It is a good idea. It’s the only idea.”
I caught her eyes on me, as I dressed. We’d never done anything, not even kissed, despite the evidence sealed away in my permanent record.
I laced up the tall boots.
She had planned everything, down to the smallest details, I realized, when she produced a barber’s kit from her bag. “Come here, darling. Let me make you pretty again.”
I had to sit down, for her to reach high enough to shear my hair. Dark curls fell on the floor around me. I stood up, and leaned against the sink, while she combed and snipped at my overgrown beard.
Her eyes were amber, a shade darker than Zadie’s. Her tongue came out to wet her bottom lip a few times. I had the desire to kiss her but I held back, as she brought the sharp blades of the scissors to my face.
After she was done, she nodded with satisfaction. “That’s better.” Something flickered in her eyes. She pressed her lips to mine.
I kissed her back.
I heard her scissors drop to the floor. Her pulse leapt into mine, before she pulled away. “Sorry,” she said. “We shouldn’t.”
“Because I’m a demon?”
She shook her head. “No, silly.” Her hand came out to touch my cheek. I caught her wrist. “You’re not my passion, Devon. And I’m not yours.”
“We only get one passion?”
“For tonight. We have the same ruling passion. To get to the human world. We both wanted it too much. That’s how we fell.”
That’s how you fell me.
But I knew she was right. It would have come out, sooner or later. I was no angel, and I never would be.
She turned away, to pull one last trick from her bag, a gray pelt which she placed around my neck.
“You don’t look like Decimus,” she said. “He’s a sorry imitation. But if anyone sees us, you’ll pass … maybe for just long enough. If we’re lucky.”
She took me back through the same alleys. We were headed uptown.
Wait.
No.
What is she playing at?
I grabbed her arm. A couple of demons came out of a warehouse. I pulled her into a doorway, out of sight. “What the hell are you doing?”
“I’m taking you through the passage.”
“I don’t think so.”
“Devon, listen to me.” She held my gaze. “I’m going too.”
“What … how can you?” I pushed up the sleeve of her silk blouse. My mind raced with fear, as I searched her dusky flesh.
Where was the tattoo? The purple heart of bravery to protect her? And keep her alive. “Did you—”
“Get inoculated?” she said. “Of course not. They’re closing the realm, Devon. Think about it. This is the only way.”
“You’ll die …”
“You don’t know for sure. We only know what they tell us. Maybe I’ll thrive in the human world.”
“Forget it. Look, I’ll go to the night witch, and pay her for one of those escape route maps.”
“Pay her with what? Your good looks?”
“Exactly. Give her what she wants.”
“I’d like to see that.”
“Maybe she’ll make herself pretty for me. I hear she shape-shifts into Helen of Troy sometimes.”
“You’re full of crap. Anyway, there are guards everywhere. They’ll catch you. And who knows where you’d come out. Don’t you want to see Ruby again?”
“No.”
“Liar. You’d give anything to see her. Which is why I hate her,” she laughed, tough but sweet. “The only thing I ever truly wanted was to go to the
human world, Devon. There is nothing for me here. Let me have this one thing. Let me save you.”
I thought about it. “Okay,” I said, finally. “If it’s what you want.”
“It’s all I want.”
As we wound our way through the demon quarter, I saw more graffiti with my face, my name slashed beneath it; hearts and arrows and blood.
Ahead of us, white streets shimmered. The skeletal shadows of palm trees hovered. We turned away, down the hill that sloped to the sea. Only there was no sea. It was a mirage.
We went down a stairway, down and down, into the passages, where luxuries from the human world came in.
“This is the tricky part,” Claudia said. “Try not to attract attention. But, at the same time, be Decimus.”
“What's our story?”
“Decimus goes where he wants, when he wants. No one questions it.”
“Isn’t he in the human world, as we speak? Slaying demons?”
“He’s already back. I told you, the realm is closing tonight. We just need to get to the bridge.”
We passed by a couple of soldiers smoking. They dropped their cigarettes and stood at attention. My heart thumped.
“Walk faster,” Claudia said.
I saw the bridge rising up, black steel, arcing over darkness.
My boots pounded the grid, ringing out, announcing our crossing with every step. I glanced back, sure someone had noticed and watched.
But I caught only glowing embers of cigarettes, the back and forth of industry that never stopped, workers in rhythm, doing what must done, before the gates closed.
We stood on the edge, holding hands. Claudia offered up a prayer, or a spell, in her angel tongue, whatever magic would open the portal at the right moment. At the right time.
Or not.
We jumped.
It was soundless.
Starry, like the night sky over the desert.
I lost Claudia.
When I hit water, I swam. I swam up and up, until I broke through the surface.
Nausea hit when I gulped air. I stumbled onto a beach. There was a body … lying on the white sand, naked.
Claudia.
I fell down next to her. I put my arms around her, and breathed her energy. Her heart beat into mine.
37. Ruby
When I got home from the funeral, I took a hot bath, without taking off my amulet. Making an X with Scotch tape, I taped it to my chest, before crawling into bed.
The old hurt was inside me. I could relax with Valium, and curb my OCD with Zoloft, but there was no medication that had ever taken away my inner pain, without knocking me out.
I didn’t want a tranquilizer. I just wanted to be happy. Or rather, content. No one was happy all the time. I thought of how my mother gazed at the stars. “Without the dark, we wouldn’t see the stars,” she said. It was a popular quote, and who had actually said it first, I wasn’t sure. But my mother was the one who said it to me.
I knew it was true. You couldn’t experience true joy, without knowing deep pain. You’d have nothing to measure it by.
As I lay there, curled on my side, listening to the patter of rain, I tried to remember the last time I’d felt joy. I didn’t like the answer I came up with. It had been the other night, dancing … with Devon’s memory.
Where had he gone?
Scarlet had encountered Devon too, I felt sure. He existed in the flesh. I knew he was there in the pages of my memory, and yet, I couldn’t piece together what had happened.
Why?
And why did Zadie always seem to be there too … between us? Who was she?
I tossed and turned on the sheets, trying to get Zadie out of my mind. If I could block her from my thoughts, maybe, just maybe, I could stop the crazy train from rolling down the tracks.
But Zadie wouldn’t let me be.
I dreamed of her.
I dreamed she broke into my apartment, along with her friend Inka. They were touching my things, playing my records.
They made chocolate martinis. The scent of vanilla vodka wafted under the covers.
I heard them talking. Their voices came closer.
The door to my bedroom creaked open. I tried to open my eyes, to get out of the dream, but my lids were so heavy. My body felt pinned to the bed.
I moaned.
“Oh, look at her dreaming,” Inka said. She had a low voice, almost masculine.
“I think we should shave her bald,” Zadie said. “Make her pretty for Devon.” She cackled.
Their footsteps crossed the floor. My fingers curled around the sheets.
Wake up, Ruby. Wake up now.
The comforter was lifted back. Cold air rushed over my skin.
“Shit, Inka! Come look at this.”
“What now?” Inka said. “Oh dear, I see. She has an angelite crystal. Is that tape?”
I tried to open my eyes again. I saw a blur of color and movement.
Someone snapped their fingers. “Wake up, Ruby. Hello there … rise and shine.”
At last, my lids lifted. Zadie’s face came into focus, and then, Inka’s. They peered down at me, curiously, as if I were a new baby.
It was no dream.
I reached up and covered my amulet with the palm of my hand. I felt my heartbeat thumping.
Why is this happening? Won’t they leave me alone?
I wished I knew prayers.
Dear God, please help me.
“Darling, you simply must lose the necklace,” Inka said. “It isn’t you.”
Zadie chuckled.
“You cannot leave your room, until you get rid of the amulet. Think about it. No food. No drink. Perhaps, we will turn off the heat too.”
“Oh, and the lights,” Zadie said. “We’ll cut her power. Sensory deprivation. She’ll go insane.”
Go insane … insane …
When they left the room, I strained to listen. They talked, and argued. Zadie wanted another martini. “Ruby is a weak thing,” Inka said. “It won’t take long to break her.”
They put on a record, Alice in Chains. Music drowned their voices. I figured they would keep true to their promises. I had to get away.
I went to the window and pulled back the curtain. Dawn burgeoned on the horizon. The sky was gray, tinged with pink. I was seven stories high. Vertigo swept over me.
I turned from the window to scan the room in the dusky light. I found my boots. I put them on without socks. For once, no clothes had been left on the floor. I couldn’t take time to rummage in my closet, so I had nothing to throw over my nightgown.
I slid open the window, and stepped out onto the fire escape.
Goosebumps rose on my arms in the cool air. I remembered how I used to feel like I was way up high, unable to resist stepping off into thin air.
Holding the metal railing, I began to make my way down.
“Ruby! Oh, Ruby. Where do you think you’re going?”
I looked back, against my will. Zadie leaned from the window.
I gasped. Terror gripped me.
I teetered, before taking the stairs two at a time. My steps clanged. I pushed on, seeing only the metal rungs beneath my feet.
When the fire escape jerked, I fell, grasping at the railing.
I looked down to the alley. The fire escape stopped at the second floor, and Inka hung from the metal rungs, her legs swinging, as she caused it to jerk again. And again.
“Come on up, little rabbit,” Zadie called. “Before you fall to your death.”
38. Devon
ANGEL SOLDIERS had raided Queenstown, when we found it. The bar, Babylon, where demons made connections, was burned to the ground.
A statue of Ishtar, the goddess of sex and war, had fallen on her face in the ashes. Her wings pointed at the trembling sky.
For the first time, I believed Zadie was dead. I felt it in my bones.
Claudia put her hand on my arm. “They’re not all slain,” she said. “There’s no way. Demons are more adapted to the human wo
rld. This is their land, and they have the advantage, like guerilla fighters.”
But demons weren’t guerilla fighters. They had no weapon to kill their enemy. Demons could only run and hide.
As we made our way north, it looked as if Claudia was wrong. If there were any demons left, we saw no sign of them.
We ran on the beach, and swam for miles across the ocean, leapt off rooftops, and ate tamales wrapped in banana leaves. We drank pink champagne and danced under a strobe light. We sat around a campfire to beat bongo drums.
Claudia flew. I saw her wings, shadows against the moon.
She was in love with the human world, and humans. We charmed our way into swanky hotels, where she took human lovers.
“No glove, no love,” I reminded her. But without being inoculated, she was vulnerable to anything and everything. I worried about her if we were in a market or on the street, and someone sneezed.
When left to my own devices, I hung out in libraries, and cafes, art galleries. I was full of Claudia’s spirit. In that regard, she was strong. I had no need to prey on unsuspecting humans.
I searched books and the internet for information on demons. I wanted to get intimate with the monster inside me. Know your enemy.
There were plenty of other sources of energy, besides humans. I could glean sustenance from the elements. The full moon would keep me going for nights on end. Lightning storms were a better high, but didn’t last as long.
I could also ask. What a novel idea. Confess my neediness, and ask a nice person to share some of their life force. Sarah should have known this was possible.
Had she? And kept it secret, in order to get rid of me? Fucking Sarah.
It was my favorite lament, but the truth was, I wouldn’t do anything over differently. Going to the realm had changed me. For the better.
One of the most common ways, I discovered, of gleaning energy was going into crowds to steal little bits of energy from lots of different people, so as not to drain one person … to their death, like I’d almost done to Ruby.
I didn’t like the last idea. Because of Ruby. If I got started stealing even the smallest amounts of energy, things might get out of hand. The last thing I wanted was to become the vampire I’d been before.
I thought often of the story about the girl who fell in love with a fiend. I turned it over and over in my mind, until it was almost a plan.