“He took to visiting Dad about two months before he passed. Never could figure out why, but Dad seemed glad to have a visitor. Then, not long after the funeral, he came by one day, suddenly filled with ardor. When I told him I had no interest in dating him, he tried to tell me that he’d had a gentleman’s agreement with Dad, who’d given his blessings to Marsh’s marrying me and taking over running this ranch.”
“Ain’t no gentleman,” Charlie said now. “Begging’ your pardon, Maddy, I meant Marsh, not your pa.”
Maddy’s smile flashed quick and keen and lit up her entire face. The sight of it never failed to lift Lucas’s spirits. He sensed Chase’s penetrating gaze once more, and decided to ignore it.
“You’ve got that right,” Maddy agreed with the man. Then she shrugged her shoulders as she finished her explanation for Chase. “I told him to go to hell. Since then whenever I’ve gone into town to get one thing or another we’ve needed, I’ve come away empty handed, because Marsh—who you may recall not only owns the only real estate business in Marshville but the Seed & Feed as well—claims whatever it is we want is ‘out of stock’. The last time that happened, I asked Bert Smitherman, over at the Double Horseshoe Ranch to get the item for me instead. An hour later, same day, and what do you know, Marsh had it.”
“What does he think he’s going to achieve that way?” Chase asked, and he looked, not only to Maddy, but Lucas for his answer.
Lucas shrugged. “I don’t think he’s trying to achieve anything really. He’s simply being a vindictive little bastard.”
“That’s my take too,” Maddy said. “I’d just as soon avoid him in the near future, if we could. And we can, now. Lucas is right. Having an extra man around—and one I can count on at that—will make it possible to take the extra time when needed to run into Gunnison.”
“Well, then. I’m very glad to be of service.”
Chase had looked straight at Lucas when he’d said that, his words accompanied by a look that could have steamed ice. Lucas felt a strange tightening in his belly, noted the way his pulse kicked up. Swallowing hard, he looked away from the younger man, putting his attention on his empty plate even as he felt his cock begin to stir.
Lucas didn’t remember having eaten his breakfast, but at the moment that seemed the least of his worries.
* * * *
Maddy tilted her head back, the water from her canteen hitting her square in the face, then running down the front of her t-shirt and onto her jeans. This heat wave was unusual for mid-May. But she’d worked through worse heat waves before with equanimity and couldn’t understand why today’s record temperature got to her so badly. I’m just tired, that’s all.
Stopping the deluge with a quarter of the bottle to spare, Maddy brought the metal to her lips. As she drank, she scanned the area. Chase and Luc were both giving her a hand with this fence repair job. Lucas stood about a hundred yards to her right, his button-front shirt open, sweat beading on his chest. She watched as his gaze traced the path of the water on her own shirt, noted the look of interest and the quick darting-away of his eyes.
Someday I’m going to have myself a few stiff shots of whiskey for courage and attack that man. She couldn’t deny that thoughts of Lucas, naked, had taken up residence in her mind on more than one occasion. She felt pretty sure the man viewed her the same way. She couldn’t figure out why neither one of them had made a move on each other after all these years. About the same age as she, Lucas had been a part of her life since they’d been teenagers. Neither one of them had a significant other nor could be considered butt-ugly.
Damn it, she was lonely. Cry-herself-to-sleep-in-the-middle-of-the-night-sometimes lonely. She wanted someone in her life, someone who would respect her and hold her; who would be there when she needed him but wouldn’t expect her to cater to him twenty-four seven. One thing she knew for certain: she really didn’t want a husband. She didn’t want the work, the worry or the responsibility of one.
She’d spent the last twelve years of her life caring for her father after he’d become sick. She’d had to make every decision, face every challenge, clear every hurdle, on her own, while catering to most every one of his needs. In other words, she’d filled the role of ‘wife’ of the household and had no desire to go there again.
Why the big deal in society about getting married, anyway? Her father had considered her lack of a husband to be her worst sin. Hell, marriage was nothing more than a vow, a promise and a piece of paper, none of which had any value at all, in most cases.
Chase stretched, catching Maddy’s attention. He stood only a few feet away, directly in front of her by the open tail gate of the truck, and the expansive movement definitely snagged her interest. Obviously he’d tossed his t-shirt in deference to the heat and she couldn’t help but notice and appreciate his well honed abs and pecs. She nearly jumped when his eyes met hers. His gaze bored into her. When he shifted his focus to her breasts, she felt a tingling response in the pit of her belly. Then his eyes met hers again and she had no trouble seeing the hunger in them. He tossed her a flirty grin and headed back to his piece of barbed wire.
Well, hell, now what? Was she so desperate to get laid that she could lust after two different men with an equal craving and at the same time? Images from her dream that very morning slithered across her mind. She’d brought those images back as she’d pleasured herself, and yes, in her imagining there sure as hell had been more than two male hands on her body as she’d come. Maddy turned her eyes away from the younger man as that reality hit home. Capping her canteen, she tossed it on the ground, pulled her gloves back on, and got back to working on the fence. She kept her hat brim down so she could look at both men without their catching her at it. Both worked quickly and efficiently as they attacked portions of the old boundary line. She saw Lucas turn his head toward Chase, but couldn’t see the expression on her foreman’s face. Then, a few minutes later, when she looked up again, she saw Chase treating the other man the same kind of look he’d just given her.
All right, that settles it. I’ve obviously got sex on the brain. She blamed that strange dream near dawn, which itself had likely just sprung—even if it had been a first, dreaming of two lovers at the same time—from her having neglected her body’s needs for so long. It had been years since her last lover. Narrowing her eyes, she tried to think back…holy hell, the last man she’d had a relationship with was Tom Parker, and that had been nearly six years ago! It had also been a long time since she’d given herself a really good session with her vibrator.
Tom Parker had been a scratch in response to an itch, nothing more. Just as well seeing as the man hadn’t stayed in the county very long after their half-hearted affair had begun. Her vibrator, now, she had no excuse there. She didn’t even have to worry about anyone else being in the house with her anymore, either, interfering with her privacy. Maybe this weekend she’d have a nice long bubble bath, a couple glasses of wine, and see what she could do about taking care of her inner woman with Bob—her battery operated boyfriend.
Chapter Two
Chase Reynolds was hard.
Who wouldn’t be after the afternoon he’d just spent? Throwing his discarded clothes onto his bed he walked, naked, into one of the two showers located in the bunkhouse. He turned on the spray and adjusted the heat while he turned everything over in his mind.
If he’d thought even for a moment that following his instincts and coming home to the Circle D had been a fool’s journey, he could put that doubt to rest for good after this afternoon. The realization that he’d been right, and that his fondest dream had a hell of a good chance of becoming reality washed over him even more soothingly than the hot water did.
Chase had never considered himself an ambitious man. True, he’d attended college, gotten himself a degree in business management, and had worked for a few years for a major financial institution in New York. He’d shown a knack for making money, and had soon been dabbling in the high-stakes high-profit field of vent
ure capitalism. But money and the desire to possess material goods had never driven him. Searching for his niche, he’d left Wall Street for a stint in law enforcement. But that hadn’t really been for him, either.
The only thing he’d ever really wanted was a home and a place to belong.
Chase hadn’t majored in psychology, but he understood himself, his dream, and where it stemmed from.
Neither of his parents had ever really wanted him. He’d lived with his mom after his dad had split when he’d been around three. But he’d spent a lot of time on his own, either fending for himself days on end while his mom went “out”, or hiding under his bed when whichever sleaze bag she’d drag home would get hopped up on drugs or booze and want to use him as a punching bag.
After his mom had died, he’d gone to live with his dad. To give the old man credit, at least he’d stepped up to the plate and claimed him, rather than letting him languish in the system. But Victor Reynolds had no more desire to make a family and a home than his mother had.
It was perfect irony that only place Chase had ever felt at home had been a place he’d found thanks to his dad—right here on the Circle D, with Maddy and Lucas.
As the years away had passed and he thought back to his life here, he’d wondered in hindsight if the clues he thought he noticed when he’d been a confused teenager had been real, or just a case of transference. Coming back as an adult, one no longer confused, he’d paid attention. Approaching thirty, he knew himself and was perfectly comfortable in his self-awareness—and in his bi-sexuality. He loved women. He loved men. Sex, in Chase’s estimation, had to be the greatest thrill in the world. But sex without the strings of emotion, without the structure of commitment, had gotten old. And when he thought about those three things together—sex, emotion, and commitment—he knew he’d had to come home.
Chase made quick work of rinsing off. It was early yet, not even six. Having spent the afternoon looking and wanting, the time had come, he decided, to take the first step toward having.
Maddy Dalton wanted him. That knowledge had settled sweetly in his conscious mind this afternoon and had heated his blood as well as his loins. It didn’t take much effort to call to mind the image of her wet t-shirt clinging to her breasts and the way her nipples had beaded when he’d looked at them.
As he dried off and reached for a pair of loose fitting shorts, the rest of the afternoon’s images flooded his thoughts, and Chase reveled in them. He had purposefully preened out there, and had been rewarded with not only Maddy’s rapt attention, but Lucas’s, too.
One look at the front of the older man’s pants this afternoon as he’d stared at Chase’s pecs had shown him which move he had to make first.
Lucas wanted him—and he didn’t think the older man even realized the attraction was entirely mutual.
* * * *
Lucas toweled off after his shower, and in deference to the heat pulled on a clean pair of jeans but left his shirt off. Padding bare-foot into his kitchen, he opened the fridge and surveyed the contents. Most evenings he took his dinner in the bunkhouse with the rest of the crew. But sometimes, especially in the summer months, he preferred to just grab a sandwich and a beer on his own.
He’d been living in the foreman’s house—a three bedroom single storey structure—since he’d become foreman of the Circle D nearly twenty years before. As a matter of fact, he hadn’t been in residence long when Vic Reynolds hired on. It had been no problem making room for the man and his engaging son.
Lucas pulled a beer out of the fridge, opened it, and held the chilled bottle to his forehead.
Closing his eyes, he felt everything crashing in on him. He remembered the first time he set eyes on Chase Reynolds. It seemed like only yesterday. Images of the child he’d been, hungry to belong, intertwined with newer, more recent images. Over top of everything he recalled the emotions that had swirled within him just this afternoon. Emotions he had no business feeling. Lord help him, he’d looked at Chase’s naked chest and been turned on as hotly as when he’d looked at Maddy’s wet-cotton covered breasts.
At that moment, Lucas hated himself.
Down deep within his soul hid a secret he’d never shared with anyone, a secret he’d only acknowledged to himself alone and in the deep dark of night. But it lay at the heart of his being, the reason why at forty-one he remained a bachelor and would likely die one—a lonely old man with no one to call his own. This secret formed a ten-mile high wall between him and the emotions, the very real feelings he had for Maddy.
The knock on his front door drew him out of his reverie. He stepped out of the kitchen and into the parlor where he could easily see who had come calling.
“Mind if I come in?” Chase asked through the screen door.
“Not at all. You don’t have to knock.”
“Sure I do. In case you hadn’t noticed, I’m not a kid anymore.”
Lucas chose not to respond to that as the younger man came inside.
Pointing to the beer in Lucas’s hand Chase asked, “Do you have an extra one of those?”
Lucas nodded, spun on his heel and headed back to the fridge. His heart pounded heavily in his chest. The sound of Chase’s steps seemed to echo loudly in his ears and he knew the younger man followed him. It was fucking surreal to have Chase right here with him, to be alone with him considering the thoughts that had been swirling though his head in the last few moments.
Inhaling deeply, Lucas dug deep for his composure. Knowing that commodity to be shaky at best, and knowing he had no time or space to shore it up didn’t fill him with confidence. But he couldn’t tell the kid—the man—to go away and leave him alone. He couldn’t, and he wouldn’t. He’d just have to tough it out somehow.
Hadn’t he been toughing it out, more or less hiding from reality, all of his adult life?
“Here, it’s nice and cold,” Lucas said as he turned, ready to extend his arm to hand the bottle to Chase. The younger man had stepped closer than he realized, and Lucas found his gaze captivated.
“Thanks. I wonder when the hell this heat wave is going to end.” Chase took a long sip of beer, then released Lucas’s gaze and stepped back.
Lucas didn’t know whether to be relieved or not. He looked around the room then used his own bottle as a pointer, gesturing toward one of the chairs by the table, inviting his visitor to sit.
Chase took a seat, but Lucas felt too restless to settle anywhere. Instead, he remained standing with his back against the small counter. Maybe five feet separated them, and Lucas wondered if it would be enough distance to banish the images that had been playing peek-a-boo with his conscious thoughts all afternoon.
“The heat’s been a real bitch,” Lucas finally said, his brain scrambling to join the conversation. Unfortunately, talking about the afternoon’s work—which brought back the real heat of the afternoon—wasn’t helping in his quest. He needed to derail the conversation, redirect it. “Maddy insists on doing most the fence work herself. It always seemed to be the one chore no one else wanted to tackle on the place.” And maybe Lucas needed to change the work schedule and not have him and Chase working together so closely. If he wanted to resist temptation, then the most logical thing for him to do would be to make sure he didn’t get too close to either Chase or Maddy. And isn’t that a hell of a dilemma? “But we’re nearly done, now. Likely just another day on the fence line at most.”
“Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?” Chase’s tone sounded intimate to Lucas’ ear—but that was probably just in his head. I have to stop imagining things.
Lucas’ heart picked up speed. He had to swallow and lock down his imagination before he could speak. “Go ahead and ask.”
“Why haven’t you and Maddy gotten together? I can see you’re attracted to each other. But I can also tell there’s been no intimacy between you. Why not?”
If it had been anyone else asking that question, Lucas would have told them to mind their own damn business. But this was Chase, an
d the words warning him off just wouldn’t come. He didn’t know if he could give the younger man a completely truthful answer. Any scenario of that brought images of having his lights punched out. So he settled for a truthful, if ambiguous response. “It’s complicated.”
Silence coated the kitchen and Lucas was held motionless by the look in Chase’s eyes. As penetrating a stare as any he’d ever received, it left him feeling completely naked.
His cock began to harden, and the bottom dropped out of his stomach when Chase flicked his gaze down to it.
“I thought so. Kind of hard to swing in one direction when you feel a pull in another at the same time, isn’t it? But what you don’t seem to understand, Lucas, is that you really don’t have to choose. You can have it both ways.”
“I don’t think I follow you.” He said the words, had to say them, because they were the only words he could say, the only words that made any sense. But deep inside he felt a dawning awareness, a seedling of knowledge that had just taken root. How could Chase have seen into his soul? How could he know? He couldn’t know. He couldn’t understand this terrible tug-of-war raging inside him. Unless…
“Lucas.”
He’d never heard his name spoken in quite that way before. Drawn, he met Chase’s gaze. The expression in those clear blue eyes arrowed straight to his gut, straight to that secret desire hiding within him. He couldn’t stop the strangled sob that broke free from those depths. Desire, having lived in darkness all its life, had suddenly seen a ray of light and fairly screamed to be released.
Unable to face the younger man a moment longer, Lucas turned around. Both hands gripped the bottle of beer hard as, head bowed, his entire body shook with emotion.
A lifetime of living a lie, of pretense and pain and loneliness had stacked up, year upon year, bearing down on his soul with a weight that had grown with each day passed. Even as he felt the quaking, he knew his soul, his conscience, could hold it in no longer.
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