by Lucy Clark
She liked him. She really liked him and that in itself was a miracle. After Tim’s death, she’d vowed never to fall in love again, never to give her heart to a man, never to trust her emotions to one single person. Yet four years later here she was. Standing next to a man who had come to mean a great deal to her. Holding his hand. Helping him just as he was helping her.
Although admitting to herself that she liked Dex didn’t necessarily mean she wanted to get serious about the emotions he could stir up simply with one of his sexy looks but accepting there might be something a little more than friendship between them was the easier option to take at the moment.
‘Yeah.’ He leaned a little closer. ‘I know what you mean.’ Before she could blink, he stole a quick kiss from her lips. The brief butterfly touch created more havoc with her system. The man was so addictive.
‘Dex!’ she whispered.
‘What?’
‘You have to stop doing that.’ She raised her free hand to her lips and was surprised to find the exceedingly brief touch had left her trembling.
‘Why? You have the most gorgeous mouth, Iris. So sweet, so full, so tempting.’
‘Oh. Well…uh…then…try to resist.’ As she spoke, she leaned forward and rang the doorbell. At least the banter, the teasing, the sneaking of kisses had helped to soothe him a little. The tension in his fingers, which were laced with hers, was less intense than before.
‘I don’t know. I’ve been resisting you for a while now, Iris. I’d even managed to convince myself that it would only be friendship between us. However, seeing this more…personal side of you is doing strange things to me.’ Although there was a teasing glint in those big brown eyes of his, there was also an underlying hint of seriousness. He grinned as he spoke yet his body language said he was more serious than he was revealing. Unfortunately, she found it difficult to believe he was one hundred per cent serious. Still, those eyes of his were…And the way his mouth curved upwards made her want to…
Iris shook her head slowly as her smile increased. ‘You’re incorrigible, Dexter Crawford.’
‘I’m inclined to agree with you, dear.’
Both of them snapped their heads to look at the woman who had spoken, the woman who stood before them, framed in the doorway.
‘Mum!’ The word was torn from him before he could think.
‘Dex.’ Mrs Crawford stood her ground, not moving, not wanting to push things too far too fast, but Iris could clearly see the emotions bubbling just beneath the surface. She looked at Dex and saw that he, too, was working hard at controlling himself.
‘You look…’ He stopped and dragged in a shaky breath. She looked older, more fragile, more worried than she had a right to. He swallowed, his Adam’s apple moving up and down. Iris gave his hand a little squeeze of encouragement then let go. An instant later Dex had enveloped his mother in an enormous hug, the tears Mrs Crawford had been working hard at controlling bursting forth as she embraced her son for the first time in over two years.
Iris raised a hand to her mouth, trying to control her own emotions due to the privilege of witnessing such an intense, private moment between Dex and his mother.
‘I only dreamed this day would come,’ she whispered into his chest as he held her. ‘I love you so much, Dexter. I always have. I’m so sorry, darling. I’m so sorry we hurt you.’
Dex didn’t say anything for a moment and Iris could sense he was as choked up as his mother, but being a brave, strong man, he pulled himself together and broke the embrace, smiling down at his mother as he wiped her tears away. ‘Shh. It’s all good, Mum.’ And it was, he realised. The moment he’d been dreading for so long had come and gone and he had to say he felt much freer than he had in years.
It was Mrs Crawford who looked past Dex and smiled through her tears. ‘And this must be Iris. Oh, my dear, welcome, welcome.’ She held out her free hand to Iris, the other one holding her son’s as though she’d never let him go again.
‘Thank you,’ Iris murmured, and shook Mrs Crawford’s hand.
‘Look at us standing in the doorway like this. So silly. Come on in. Both of you.’ Mrs Crawford tugged them forward. Iris’s shoulder bag fell to her arm and she quickly righted it. Dex reached back for his own bag on the ground but his mother wasn’t having any of it.
‘Don’t worry about your bag. We can get it later or your father can get that. Dwayne!’ she hollered, still holding firmly onto Dex. ‘Put your bag down there Iris. We’ll show you to your room later on. Dwayne!’ Mrs Crawford called again, and this time received a muffled reply. ‘He’s been out in his workshop, hammering and banging.’ She looked pointedly at Iris. ‘Never marry an inventor, dear. It doesn’t matter how old they get, they never stop inventing. Anyway, he knew you were arriving around this time so he should— Ah, here he is.’
Father and son shook hands warmly and only when Dwayne pulled Dex forward into a big, manly hug did Mrs Crawford let go of her son’s hand. It was a little odd but Iris found herself looking for similarities between the two men and whilst they were about the same height, nothing physical about them matched at all. However, as they stood in the entrance way, talking for a few moments, she noted that both men had the same mannerisms. The way they put their hands in their pockets or gestured with their eyebrows as they spoke. It was quite uncanny.
‘Come in, Iris,’ Mrs Crawford urged. ‘Sit down. You must be exhausted after all that travelling. Joss said you were driving from Didja to Kalgoorlie and then catching the plane from there to Perth and then, of course, you had to get a taxi from the airport to here so all in all a rather long day, I’d say.’
‘It’s all been quite comfortable,’ Iris managed as she sat on the comfortable sofa. ‘I don’t think I would have managed on my own. My mind would have been playing through every scenario I could think of, but thankfully I had Dex not only to amuse me but distract my thoughts as well.’
‘Ah…’ She smiled at her son. ‘I see he hasn’t lost his touch for putting people at ease.’
Iris smiled brightly. ‘Oh, he still has that. In abundance.’
‘Good to hear. Now, dear, you must tell us all about yourself.’
‘Mum,’ Dex protested as he and his father came into the room. ‘Don’t badger her.’ He sat down next to Iris on the sofa, both of them sitting on the edge, both of them a little uncomfortable but for very different reasons.
‘It’s all right, Dex,’ Iris remarked as both his parents looked at her expectantly. ‘First, Mr and Mrs Crawford, I’d like to thank you both for allowing me to stay with you whilst I’m in Perth.’
‘Call me Ruth,’ his mother protested.
‘And I’m Dwayne.’ He held out his hand to her and shook it almost as warmly as he had his son’s.
‘We don’t stand on ceremony here. Besides, you’re family. Anyone who works with Dex and Joss is automatically a part of us.’
‘Well…thank you, Ruth.’ Iris was touched. Never before, even with Tim’s parents, had she felt so instantly at home. She eased back a little on the sofa as they started to chat. For the next hour, as they shared afternoon tea, Iris was acutely aware of Dex sitting incredibly close to her. The warmth of his arm brushing hers now and then. The pressure of his firm thigh against her own. That earthy, heady scent he wore almost drugging her senses it was so good.
By the time his siblings returned from university, Iris was more than ready to put some much-needed distance between herself and Dex. Ruth showed her to her room on the upper floor and when the door was closed, Iris sank gratefully down onto the comfortable bed.
She lay there for quite some time, her mind still whirring with everything that had happened during the past few days. She still hadn’t managed to cry for Francie and Nigel, their loss still not seeming real.
It was an odd feeling, literally being left holding the baby. She knew Francie and Nigel had been wealthy and Anya would one day inherit everything so there was no need to worry about providing for the little one. She coul
d also make sure Anya was raised with a firm understanding about wealth. Money could be a powerful motivator. It had certainly motivated Tim.
Iris hadn’t thought it a problem at the beginning of their marriage because, of course, everyone wanted to have a nice place to live and a flashy car to drive. They’d both been earning good incomes and so Tim had argued that they should get the things they’d always dreamed of having whilst they were young and fit enough to enjoy them.
And it hadn’t been a problem—until he’d lost his life trying to save their perishable possessions. Had he loved money more than her? Had he truly been motivated by it? Iris sighed, not that sure anymore. Tim was in her past and whilst she would always love him, she’d changed a lot in the last four years.
In fact, she’d changed a lot in the past five weeks. Didja, the people, the way they lived their lives, her colleagues…everything. Everything about the community had changed her. Yes, the pace of living was slower but wasn’t that a good thing? Since she’d been cleared from her burns specialist to return to work, she’d been going non-stop…and slowly wasting away inside.
She could admit that now. She could see how empty her life had been and how things were subtly changing. Dex was obviously a big part of that. He’d held her when she’d cried. He’d picked up the pieces of the vase she’d smashed and seen her at her lowest. He’d kissed her. She closed her eyes at the memory of their shared kisses and just how he’d made her feel. She knew he felt something for her as well but lately she was getting mixed signals from him. Not that she blamed him. They’d both been running hot and cold, unsure of exactly where they stood. That was until she’d needed him and Dex had been there. Sure and strong.
When she had just started dating Tim, she’d asked her mother that all-important question…how do I know if I’m really in love? If he’s truly the man for me? Her mother had replied in her matter-of-fact tone, ‘You know he’ll be yours for ever if you can imagine him changing your catheter bag when you’re old and grey.’
She’d laughed at her mother’s words but hadn’t taken them seriously. She knew it wasn’t that much of a challenge for doctors as they came into contact with things like catheter bags every day, but now her mother’s words started to make more sense. Support was what her mother had really been talking about. Someone to support you through the darkest times of life.
Since she’d heard she was Anya’s guardian, Dex had been nothing but supportive. She’d been jittery when they’d initially set out but he hadn’t pressured her on anything but supported her in everything. As they’d disembarked from the plane and taken a taxi to his parents’ house, it had been her turn to be there to support him.
Dex hadn’t spoken much, not until they’d been standing outside the front door. She’d known all along how difficult it was for him to face his past, to see his parents and siblings again, and he’d stood strong and firm next to her, making her laugh, stealing kisses, but he’d still gone through with it. He hadn’t backed down. Once he’d made and accepted the decision to come home, he’d followed through, which showed he had immense courage.
When the knock came at her door, Iris quickly got up and looked at the clock. Almost an hour had passed since she’d sought solitude in the lavishly furnished bedroom. Where had the time gone? She smoothed her hair back, tucking a few loose strands behind her ears before opening the door.
‘Hi.’ Dex rushed into the room and shut the door behind him, not waiting for her to invite him in and almost knocking Iris over in the process.
‘What’s wrong?’
‘What?’ He tried to affect nonchalance. ‘What makes you think any thing’s wrong?’ he asked in an overly bright voice, which sounded nothing at all like Dex.
‘Uh…possibly because you’re acting really weird.’ She went and sat on the bed. Dex slumped to the floor, his shoulders hanging dejectedly.
‘I can’t do this, Iris.’
‘What? You’ve done, it Dex. You’ve reconnected with your family.’
‘But that’s just it. I haven’t.’
‘What are you talking about? It was hugs and kisses and welcome home prodigal son when I came in here.’
‘Aha. I knew it. You left me out there on purpose to be fed to the lions.’
She looked at him as though he’d grown an extra head. ‘I thought you all might appreciate a bit of privacy. You know, family bonding time, without needing to feel uncomfortable around the stranger.’
Dex lifted his head and looked at her solemnly. ‘You’re not a stranger, Iris.’
‘I am to them. I just thought a bit of privacy was in order and I was feeling a little exhausted from such a busy day.’
‘No worse than doing house calls.’
‘Whatever. It’s irrelevant. What is relevant, however, is why you’re hiding in here, declaring you can’t do “this”? What exactly is “this” that you can’t do?’
‘Reconnect with them. I’m too different. Being in Didja has sorted me out so much that I’m normal and the rest of them are all quite off their rockers.’
‘What has brought you to this conclusion, Einstein?’
‘They’re not mad at me.’
Iris blinked slowly, letting his words sink in. ‘Wait a second. Let me get this straight. You left home two years ago.’ He nodded. ‘You come back, welcomed warmly into the bosom of your family, and you’re upset because they’re not angry?’
‘You’ve summed it up beautifully.’ That was just like her. She cut straight to the chase, to the heart of the problem. He’d seen her do it time and time again with her little patients. He’d also seen her handle the parents of her patients equally adeptly.
‘Why do you think they should be mad?’
‘Because I hurt them.’
Iris nodded slowly. ‘What if they’ve forgiven you?’
Dex frowned for a second as though he hadn’t even thought of this possibility. ‘Hmm.’
‘Or perhaps it’s the simple fact that you’ve realised your childhood wasn’t a sham, it wasn’t a lie. You were raised in a caring environment with people who loved you. That’s special, Dex. And perhaps facing this fact makes you re-evaluate your life. That you’re not the black sheep or the unwanted child you always thought you were. You were loved. Are loved.’ She pointed to the door. ‘Go. Spend more time with them.’
She needed him out, away from her right now because she was far too vulnerable to have him close and alone the way they were now. He was on the floor, no longer slumped over but lying down, head propped up on his elbow as he stared at her with those glorious brown eyes she dreamt of every night.
‘I’m fine for now. I told them I was coming to check up on you.’
‘You’ve checked. Now go.’ She shifted further back on the bed, needing as much distance between them as possible.
Dex sat up and looked at her carefully. She had a look in her eyes, a deep abiding look that he could simply lose himself in. The woman was really starting to drive him quietly insane. Had she any idea just how often he thought of her? How often he wanted to hold her close? He wanted to kiss her again, to pull her hair from the bands and thread his fingers through the glorious reddish-blonde locks. He wanted to feel that hair whisper tantalisingly over his skin, knowing the long silky strands would drive him absolutely wild.
‘Don’t look at me like that.’ The words were barely a whisper.
‘I can’t help it.’
‘Try. We’re in your parents’ house.’
Dex’s smile was deep and highly seductive. ‘Only makes it more fun.’
‘Dex! Stop saying things like that. Honestly, do you have any idea just how crazy that makes me?’
He slid to his knees and shuffled across the polished floor-boards towards the bed. ‘I think you’re the one who should stop saying things like that. It only makes me want you even more when you talk like that.’
‘Dex.’ She held up both her hands to stop him. ‘We can’t. It’s not right.’ She looked at him and w
hen he seemed about to protest, she went on. ‘We’re colleagues. That’s all.’
‘What about friends?’
Iris nodded slowly. ‘Yes, we’re friends but right now I’m far too vulnerable for anything except what I’m about to face tomorrow. I know part of the reason you came along on this journey was to see your family but you said you wanted to support me as well.’
‘That’s right.’
‘Well, the best way you can support me is not to get all…playboyish on me.’
‘Playboyish?’ He raised his eyebrows.’
‘You know what I mean.’
‘Is that even a word?’
‘Stop it. You’re being cute again. Besides, I don’t ever want to be another one of your conquests.’
‘Iris!’ It was as though she’d slapped him again. He was shocked she thought that. Had the woman no idea at all just how incredibly, how powerfully she affected him? He’d had nights when he’d had to go and sleep outside under the stars, risking the mozzies and the flies attacking him because he couldn’t stand the fact that their apartments were so close.
He’d imagined her, far too many times, undressing, getting ready for bed, lying down and sleeping, her lovely long hair fanned out across the starkness of the white pillows. He’d imagined kissing her, holding her, loving her. Oh, no. She was far from being just another conquest, as she termed it. She was dangerous and she was about to become a mother. He didn’t do families. He’d do well to stop flirting with her and heed her words right now and leave her in peace.
He stood, surprising Iris that she’d managed to get through to him.
‘Dinner’s at eight,’ he said as he headed towards the door. ‘Dress is casual.’
‘Dex.’ He stopped when she called his name, his hand on the doorknob, ready to make his get-away. ‘Give your family a chance. Everything’s no doubt a little overwhelming, for all of you, but after seeing you together, adoption or no adoption, there’s no doubt in my mind that you are a family. They love you very much.’