“How long have you been there?” Gage asked.
She lifted off her mask and laid it on her lap. “I heard everything. I’m so glad Pepper is okay.” She smiled broadly, but it suddenly fell. “And I’m glad we finally know what happened to Andy.”
Gage nodded. “You still getting out of here tonight?”
“Yes.”
“Then I’ll wait to drive you home.”
“Thanks,” she said. “And thanks for following up on the embezzlement. I don’t want Andy’s name tainted, and I really appreciate your help with that.”
Gage gave Griff a fist bump. “I’ll check in with you tomorrow to see how you’re doing.”
“Thanks, man.”
Gage and Blake exited past Sam, and she didn’t move. Just sat, staring at him.
“I’ll get out of here, too.” Chief clapped Griff on the arm and smiled at Sam as he passed.
She rolled her chair close to the bed, her head down. She took Griff’s hand and stared at it. “Are you really okay?”
“Fine,” he said. “They’re going to keep me overnight, but it’s just a precaution.”
“I thought you were going to die.” The words came out on a sob.
“Aw, honey, don’t cry.” He squeezed her hand to get her to look at him, but she didn’t move. “I’m fine. You’re fine. God watched over us both.”
“Yeah,” she said, but it was a whisper.
“You shouldn’t have come in after me. You could have died.”
“I remembered everything you taught me. I checked the door, the smoke color and movement, and I stayed low. I…I just couldn’t get you untied.”
“Hey,” he said, “I’m so proud of you. And I owe you my life.”
She nodded but didn’t look up.
“Why won’t you look at me?”
“Because I need to say something, and I know if I look into your eyes I won’t be able to say it.”
“Okay,” he said, but his gut tightened into a tight ball of dread.
“I love you, Griff. More than I ever thought possible.”
His heart sang. “I love you, too, honey.”
“I know you do, and I will always be thankful for that, but I still can’t be with you.”
“You what?” The words exploded from his mouth.
She recoiled and dropped his hand. “I thought I could. I was even on the way to your place to ask if we could start dating again. But then when I saw you laying nearly lifeless on that gurney, all my fears came back. And now I know I haven’t really dealt with my issues. And until I do…” She shrugged.
“Please,” he said. “Don’t make a decision like this when you’re still full of adrenaline and emotions over what happened. Give it some time. Then we can talk.”
“I’m sorry.” She looked him in the eye then, and he saw incredible pain that took his breath away.
“I have to go,” she whispered. “Gage is waiting.”
“Honey, please,” he begged.
But she turned her chair and wheeled out of his life.
24
The Memorial Day party was in full swing at the beach, but Sam wasn’t in the party mood. Not even with the soft breeze drifting across the sand on the unusually warm spring day, and her Blackwell family gathered around her.
The kids were building towering sandcastles with Gage’s help. David was directing them, much like his mother might do. His sister Mia went along without protest, as did Eryn’s daughter Bekah and Riley’s son Owen, but Whitney’s nephew Isaiah being older, balked, and he protested for his little sister Zoey, too.
Still, seeing six children in a group that not too long ago wasn’t a group at all, only Mia, was a real blessing. As were the dogs. Barkley was over a year old now and had lost his puppy look, and Cocoa at ten months had grown into a fine chocolate lab. They lay in the shade of a lounge chair, their heads nestled together as best friends.
Sam’s thoughts went to Pepper. She would be so happy in this group. She’d bounce around. Lick and frolic with the kids then plop down on the warm sand to sleep next to Barkley and Cocoa.
Griff came to mind and before Sam thought about how much she missed him, she shifted her focus to Hannah. Despite her morning sickness, she was putting the finishing touches on a lunchtime feast and refused any help. She said they all worked so hard protecting and caring for the innocent in need that they deserved a day of complete rest with their loved ones. So they were all gathered around a blazing fire, roasting hot dogs to go with Hannah’s great side dishes and desserts.
All except Coop and Kiera. She was having contractions again and was too uncomfortable to attend. Sam hoped she was actually in labor this time and another child would be added to their family today.
A baby. How wonderful. Sam was so happy for them, but jealous, too. Very. She turned her hot dog in the fire and sighed.
Alex leaned closer. “You’re kind of quiet.”
“Yeah,” she said but didn’t want to elaborate.
“It’s Griff, right?”
She couldn’t believe she was having this conversation, especially with one of the guys, but she’d gotten close to Alex this year when they were stranded at a ski resort on an investigation so it felt natural, like talking to a brother. “Yeah.”
“You want to tell me about it?”
“Talk about role reversal.”
He chuckled. “Not too long ago you were helping me figure all this out. And I’m glad you did. Thought maybe I could return the favor.”
He sounded so sincere she decided to respond. “I miss him and wish he was here.”
She’d missed him from the moment she’d said goodbye to him.
“So why isn’t he here, then?”
She shrugged and watched the sand move as she wiggled her bare feet into the grains to avoid thinking about it.
“Come on,” Alex insisted. “You know the reason.”
She pulled her foot out and wished she could pull herself out of the mire of doubt so easily. “My dad cheated on my mom. Left me wondering if I could ever trust a guy.”
Alex didn’t say anything at first, so she looked at him.
He narrowed his gaze. “We’re not talking about any guy here. We’re talking about Griff. He’s an honorable man from what I can see. Doesn’t mean he’s infallible, but it does mean you have the best shot with a guy like him.”
“You’re right. I just…” She shrugged. “And his job. It’s so dangerous.”
“You’re afraid of getting hurt.”
She nodded.
“And if you weren’t afraid? What would you do?”
She bit her lip and shuffled her feet before answering. “Go get him.”
“Remind me.” He eyed her. “You have a verse you often quote before we head into a dangerous mission.”
That she could answer. Easily. “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”
“You’ve been physically injured, and you still trust God to protect you, right?”
“I do, yeah, but—”
“But why not trust Him to care for your emotional safety as well?”
She looked at Alex. Really looked at him and suddenly realized how content he’d been since he’d found Whitney. He’d been more relaxed. Less in need of being the team joker. He was truly happy, and he’d had to overcome so many emotional issues to make that happen. If he could trust God to find his peace and love again, so could she.
“You make a good point,” she said, warming to the idea. “I’ll go see him tomorrow.”
He snorted. “Tomorrow. Right. Putting it off again.”
“The party,” she said but knew the excuse was lame the minute the words came out.
“We’ll be here all day. You can bring him back with you if he’s not working.”
It would be great to have him here, for sure, but could she really do this or would she chicken out again? Find so
me other excuse to try to protect a heart that was already breaking?
Hannah’s phone rang, the melody sounding through the laughter of children. She looked at the screen and her face lit with surprise. “Hello.”
She listened, her eyes narrowing. She clutched her chest, and her face paled. “We’ll be right there.”
She rushed over to the group seated around the fire pit. “That was Griff. He was at the hospital on a call and ran into Coop and Kiera. She’s in labor, and the baby’s in distress.”
Sam’s heart dropped.
“Griff said it’s touch and go.” Hannah shoved her phone into her pocket, her hands trembling. “I told him we’re on our way, and he’s waiting in the ER so he can update us when we arrive.”
“Then we need to go. But we’ll pray first.” Gage shot to his feet and took Hannah’s hand. She reached out to Sam and the team held hands tightly while Gage led them in prayer.
“Now,” he said the moment he finished. “Hannah, you go ahead with the others. I’ll call Opal to watch the kids, and while I wait, I’ll take care of cleaning up here.”
Hannah’s eyes creased like she’d lost her rock and didn’t want to leave him behind.
Sam stepped up to her and circled an arm around her shoulders. “I’ll drive you.”
Hannah nodded, and they all trudged up the path to the compound, and somehow in their daze of worry, managed to get into three vehicles and start for the hospital.
“I can’t even imagine being in their position.” Hannah pressed her hands over her stomach. “We should pray again. For them. And for us. To let go of the worry and fear so we can support them once we arrive.”
Sam kept her focus on the road but listened to Hannah’s fervent prayer. Listened to her plea to let go of the fear and find peace in this time of worry for the precious life struggling to survive.
How foolish Sam had been to worry over something as inconsequential as being hurt by a relationship. Especially when she saw that her mother had survived quite well, and her life was back on track, and she was happy again. Sam couldn’t let fear control her. She had to move forward. Live her life.
She pulled into the parking lot near the ER door. After a week apart, she was going to see Griff. Her heart leapt at the thought, but then she remembered the baby in distress, and her joy evaporated.
She parked and grabbed Hannah’s hand. “Let’s go support our friends.”
Hannah had tears in her eyes, and she swiped them away to lift her back higher. “We can do it. With God’s help.”
They marched toward the ER door. All of them. The team. Their spouses. Loved ones. Together and strong, ready to be there for their friend, his wife, and his child no matter the outcome.
Oh, God, please let this baby be okay.
Just inside the door, Sam spotted Griff leaning against the counter talking to the admitting clerk. He’d shaved the short beard he’d grown while off duty. He wore a blue zipper jacket with patches on the sleeves and his chest, and a button-down shirt underneath. Matching blue pants emphasized his long legs. A strap holding a radio crossed his chest. He had a stethoscope dangling from his neck.
He looked every bit the strong rescuer that she knew him to be and just seeing him kicked up her heart rate. He caught sight of her, and a smile flashed but quickly fell. Dare she hope that smile meant he didn’t hate her? Time would tell.
Everyone rushed over to him, and Sam didn’t like the heavy concern etched on his face.
“Any news?” Hannah asked sounding breathless.
“The cord is wrapped around the baby’s neck.” He clenched and released his hands. “They’re doing an emergency C-section. Coop is in with them. I’ll take you up to the waiting area.”
Sam so desperately wanted to hold Griff’s hand right now. To lean on his strength. But she had no right. Not until she made things right with him.
It hit her then.
What if he didn’t want anything to do with her?
She had, in essence, hurt him as deeply as her father hurt her mother. Sure, she hadn’t cheated on him, but she’d walked out on him not once, but twice. She didn’t deserve a third chance.
Would he, like her mother had done, tell her this was the end? That they were done for good?
She got onto the elevator with the group and forced her thoughts to the back of her mind. She shouldn’t even be thinking selfish thoughts. Not when a precious new life was in peril.
Griff punched the elevator button for the third floor and caught himself leaning toward Sam when she boarded. She was dressed in jeans, a clinging T-shirt, and flip-flops. Her hair was down and nestled softly by her neck. The exact place he wanted to plant a kiss and let his mouth travel up to hers.
Get a grip. A tiny innocent baby was fighting for its life.
Forgive me. Help the baby. Please help the baby.
Griff fisted his hands and focused on the numbers above the door to watch them light up. When they reached their floor, he escorted the group to the small waiting area.
“I’ll go see if I can get an update,” he offered and left them behind to head to the nurses’ station.
He found a tired-looking nurse in charge.
He smiled at her. “I was wondering if there’s any news on Kiera Ashcroft.”
“You family?” She ran fingers through short gray hair.
He shook his head. “Just wanted to follow up.”
He felt bad about making it sound like he was checking on a woman he’d brought in, but he desperately wanted news to share with Coop’s friends.
“She’s still in surgery,” she replied and her reluctance told Griff that was all he was going to get from her.
“I’ll hang in the waiting area. Mind if I check back later?”
“I don’t mind, but I’m not sure I’ll be able to give you more information than if she’s out of surgery.”
“I understand,” he said and went back to the lounge. “She’s still in surgery. The nurse won’t likely tell me anything about the baby’s status. Maybe one of you should text Coop and tell him you’re all here.”
“I’ll do it and tell him we’re praying, too.” Hannah turned her attention to her phone.
It was then that Griff realized he hadn’t met several of the women in the room.
He stepped over to the first woman sitting by Jackson. She looked up at him, her green eyes an interesting compliment to her golden blond hair.
He held out his hand. “I’m Griff.”
“Maggie Lockhart.” She put a warm hand in his. “Been married to this guy for almost six months now.”
“Right, you haven’t met everyone, have you?” Jackson asked.
“I’m sorry,” Hannah called out as she stowed her phone and rushed over. “I should have remembered that. I’m just so worried about the baby.”
“No worries.” Griff smiled at her. “I’m a big boy. I can introduce myself.”
Hannah shook her head hard. “Not as long as I’m here.”
She took his arm and guided him to Riley who had his arm around a petite woman with blond hair. Hannah didn’t need to introduce her. He knew she was the singer Leah Kent.
Griff held out his hand. “No need to tell me your name. I didn’t realize we had a celebrity in the group.”
“Former celebrity.” She smiled, lighting up brilliant blue eyes, and he could see how she attracted so many fans with her vibrant personality. “Once my last concert is over in July and I marry this guy in August, I’ll give up that life.”
“I’ll be so glad not to have to share her.” Riley grinned.
Sitting by Alex, a woman tucked wavy brown hair behind her ear and smiled at Griff. “Whitney Rochester. We’ll be getting married in precisely twelve days and three hours.”
“But who’s counting?” Alex smiled so wide, Griff thought his face might crack.
Griff could barely stand seeing the joy and happiness flowing between these couples, but underneath it all lay a tense concern for their f
ellow teammate’s wife and child.
“It’s good to meet everyone.”
“Actually,” Hannah said. “There are several children you haven’t met yet, either. I hope you will someday.”
Griff nodded and stole a look at Sam, walking around the room. Twice now she’d dashed his heart to the ground and still, one word from her, and he would come running. Because he knew her rejection wasn’t personal. It was because she was letting her fear take over.
Griff had been praying for her since his recent hospital stay, and he hoped someday she would move beyond the fear. She was the only woman for him. There would never be another.
Sam paced the room. She couldn’t sit. If she did, she would want to sit next to Griff. She stopped to look out the window, staring down at the ER entrance. She saw Gage’s SUV pull in and him get out of his vehicle then march with purpose toward the door.
“Gage is here,” she announced.
“Thank goodness.” Hannah sounded like she was about at the end of her rope. She was such a strong woman and mothered them all, but she’d been far more emotional in her pregnancy.
Sam wished Hannah would have told others she was expecting, but Sam totally understood why she didn’t. That announcement would have to wait even longer now with the baby in danger.
Sam started pacing again. She passed Griff. His hand came up and wrapped around hers, stopping her. She looked down at him. He met her gaze solidly. She expected to see hatred. Maybe anger. But found only the purest of love and concern staring back at her.
Dare she hope that when she talked to him, he would be receptive to trying again with her?
Oh, please let that be the case.
She gave him a soft smile then continued on. She hoped it was enough to give him some optimism, if indeed he wanted that.
She caught movement by the entry and spun to look. Wanting to see Coop, she was disappointed when Gage entered the lounge, but Hannah was thrilled. She rushed across the room and threw herself into his arms.
“Hey, hey,” he said stroking her back. “Everything’s going to be okay.”
“How do you know?”
“Because God’s got this in hand.”
Cold Dawn Page 25