I refuse to believe that and glare at him to let him know how much I disagree.
“He has to be. I have more than me to think about here, Leo,” I finally say, feeling the weight of my mistakes all crash down on me in that second. “I should have done things differently. If I’d been less of a coward…but I was terrified to see him again so soon after everything.”
“Brody told me. I was there. You made the only decision you could under the circumstances. Law was not ready, and babe…”—he pauses and his eyes look over my left shoulder going hard—“I’m not sure he’s ready now.”
I think I know what I’ll see when I turn, but for some reason, some really messed up reason I have myself convinced that everything will still be okay, that I’m not about to see something that will break my heart.
I turn slowly, feeling dizzy, knowing that the wine is not responsible for it. No, the reason that I want to puke my guts up and pass out is because Law has just strolled into the restaurant, a tall, extremely attractive blonde draped all over him.
And he’s looking straight at me with a cold smirk that tells me that he knows what he’s doing and he’s enjoying every second of it. I want to crawl into the ground and hide when I feel my face flush and the sting of tears assault my eyes.
This afternoon had been my one shining moment of hope, a hope that he’s not only dashed in one fell swoop, but that he’s purposefully shattered into a million pieces.
I’m that easily replaceable? As if what we shared meant nothing?
But you told him that it was just a fling, I remind myself, feeling all kinds of foolish for what I said and a hundred times worse because I’d assumed that saying it would only make him try that much harder to bag me.
And here come all the insecurities rushing back. Even in those early days when we’d been together, I’d had to take a lot of time to convince myself that he was serious about me, and not just chasing his next conquest. I’d eventually relaxed and trusted in him.
Yeah, and look where that got you, idiot! In love, heartbroken, and pregnant. If Brody hadn’t been there to pick up the pieces, you wouldn’t have made it to delivery and you know it.
“Nico. Babe, look at me,” Leo says softly, his hand reaching over the table to enfold mine and pull me back to reality.
I turn slowly and meet his eyes, loving and hating the concern and pity I see there. Usually I hate pity, but coming from Leo I know it’s not a negative emotion, rather a shared disappointment for the loss we feel. It’s like losing the battle before it’s even begun really.
“I need to leave, Leo,” I whisper, feeling tears tremble on my lashes.
“No. Don’t you give that fucker the satisfaction, Nico. You hold your head high, finish your dessert, and then you let me take you home. What happens then is up to you, but I think you should really consider letting him go now,” he snarls, holding my gaze with determination.
I know what he’s suggesting, and while it would give me utmost pleasure to throw caution to the wind and give Leo a chance, I know that it would be short lived. I’d be left feeling raw and foolish, and Law would win again.
“I can’t do that, Leo. To you or myself. You’re hot and great, and I would be really lucky to have a great catch like you, but I won’t make you feel like the consolation prize when you’re gold.”
He smiles and lifts my hand, kissing the delicate skin with a smirk.
“Babe, being with you even once would never be anything but the pinnacle of my year, second best or not. Hell, I’d do it even if you told me I was third to some old dude you have crush on,” he says and chuckles, giving me a salacious wink.
His amusement serves as a balm, and I find myself grinning at him, my hand squeezing his tightly before letting go and taking another bite of my dessert.
“You’re so cool. You should meet Cody; I think the two of you would get along really well.”
“Ah, and he takes another hit.” I hear, snarled from my left.
Leo and I both look up to see Law standing beside our table, his face so hard I have to stop myself from rearing back.
“You won’t let me meet your kid, but lover boy gets two dates before you’re ready to play happy family?” he sneers, giving me a brutal once over that is filled with scorn and so much distaste that I feel it dripping from my skin in an ooze of discomfort. “You fucked him yet? Or is that a third date event? If I’d known you needed a little romance first, I would have waited. But then again, who can blame me, Nic. You made it so easy.”
Half the restaurant is silent as the words leave his lips, and I can feel their stares, their mortification, and their curiosity. My face heats before I feel it blanch of color, and I almost feel the anger blazing off Leo before he surges to his feet and goes toe-to-toe with Law.
“You stupid motherfu—”
“No Leo! Please, let’s just go!” I beg, standing to shaky feet as the chocolate mousse curdles in my stomach. “Please, Leo.”
Law sneers at us both and smiles darkly.
“Please, Leo,” he sings, making my hackles rise. “Run along home; I’m sure she’s got a lot more where that came from.”
I’m not into scenes, not in a place where the chances of running into someone I do business with are so high, but I’m no shrinking violet either, and I refuse to let myself be brought low by the likes of him again.
I’d once let him slay me in front of others. I’d begged him and cried and made a pathetic spectacle of myself to the point where even years later I feel the sting of it.
No more.
“Leo and I are friends, Law…something you wouldn’t know about since you seem to pick up and discard people like trash when it suits you. Well, I’m not a piece of trash and what’s more, you’re no goddamned prince. Consider this my resignation, effective immediately.”
He’s still silent when I grab my purse and stalk out, not even waiting for Leo to follow, just needing to get the hell out of there before I do something that I’ll regret, like slap the father of my child into a vegetative state.
I have million things to do, like finally call the bank and meet with the manager, and God I’ll have to look into putting Cody into a public school if I can’t get another job immediately and…
But all I can think as I leave the curious gazes of the restaurant patrons behind and step out to hail a cab is that I am extremely grateful that I didn’t tell him about Cody.
My son will never be like that man back there, and I’ll see to it, even if I have to move to Siberia to escape him.
Chapter Twenty-one
Law
“What the hell did you do Lawson?!”
The tension headache I’ve been nursing since last night started morphing into a migraine as I pinched at the bridge of my nose and listened to Dad rant on the other end of the phone.
I’d waited all morning, but after ten had rolled around, I’d had to accept that Nic was serious. She wasn’t coming back, which left me relying on Jared Fowler and his team.
The minute I’d let myself believe that I’d not only messed up any chance at having Nic, but also lost the best VP in the state, I’d forced myself to call Dad, even knowing what was coming.
“We had an argument at Delucci’s. She quit and stormed out, Dad. What the hell do you expect me to do? I looked over her contract, and there’s a clause that gives her room to leave without notice.”
I’d been so frantic after she and Leo had left that I’d gotten rid of my date—can’t even remember the woman’s name—and gone home to drink. Around my third glass, I’d come up with the idea of locking her in by dragging out her contract.
That settled, I’d felt secure and gone to bed with a smile on my face. Only to hear from Jared that Nic would only sign with Dad if he included some legroom for her.
Which meant I was screwed. I had no legal leg to stand on to force her back, and that meant I had no easy in either.
Fuck!
“Of course, there’s a clause, you fool! Ni
colette Sharp is one of the most sought after VPs in the country. You think she’d sell herself short? You had better fix this, Law. I’m not about to let you screw up a good thing because you’re running scared again, boy. Grow some fucking balls and either go get your woman, or step down and let her run the place.”
A wave of familiar panic hits me, and I squelch it ruthlessly. Part of the problem is the fear and resentment I feel, thinking that everyone seems to think I won’t be a good CEO, that I’m so stupid that I’d let the company falter.
This may not be my dream, but I’m damn sure going to make sure I keep this bitch afloat and prospering.
“If you didn’t want me back, you shouldn’t have called me,” I say with a snarl, gripping the phone tight.
Dad sighs, and I feel my anger cool.
“You’re my son and the best man for the job, Law…but Nic has dedicated a lot of herself to James and I won’t have her suffering because you’re reverting back to your fear. I know that it hurts to lose sometimes, boy, but you have to be a man and get back up and try again—not bulldoze and break your way through things.”
Dammit, he’s right, and I know it. After Nic had rejected me so solidly yesterday, I’d been furious and needed to hurt her…and save face, so I’d called every restaurant in the city to find their reservation. Then I’d called, God what was her name, and made a show of being pawed at in front of Nic, my version of “See, I am wanted.”
Only it backfired the moment I saw Leo put his hand on hers and stroke her skin, as if he had any goddamned right to touch what is mine.
I’d said things and done things I shouldn’t have, but I am beyond desperate at this point—and frustrated. Why won’t she let me in when I can see how much she wants me?
“I’ll fix it, Pop, I swear. I just…I don’t know why she’s pulling away. We had a great time together in Greece, and I thought, you know, that we had another chance. And then all of a sudden she’s going out with Leo and making moon eyes at the idiot.”
I hear Dad chuckle, and then the sound of laughter and the distinct sound of a child calling out.
“I’ve gotta go, boy. Listen, don’t worry about Leo. He was a friend of her husband’s.”
The line goes dead, and I frown. Whomever Nic married…if Leo knew him that means I did, too. We all hung out together, thick as thieves, and now my curiosity is piqued.
But I have more pressing matters to deal with at the moment, namely getting Nic back before Mom and Dad murder me in my sleep.
After calling six more times and getting voicemail, I say screw it and grab my stuff, letting my secretary know that I won’t be in for the rest of the day and to cancel anything not pressing.
I’m going in folks. Let’s hope I come out alive and still in possession of my balls.
********************************************************************
Nico
“What are you talking about? I didn’t pay anything. In fact, I’m pretty sure I’m behind on payments.”
The bank manager just looks at me as if I’m nuts. My mortgage is paid for the month and so is Cody’s school, as I found out when I went there to talk to the principal about a public school alternative while I looked for a job.
Everywhere I go I seem to be stumbling into a freaking twilight zone. Instead of being twenty dollars overdrawn on my account, I now have ten grand nestled in my savings, and it’s not even payday.
“Miss Sharp, the numbers don’t lie. You don’t owe any back payments on your mortgage. There’s not much more I can say, other than you don’t have anything else to worry about for now. Make the new month’s payments, and you should be fine. As for that loan…your balance doesn’t say that you need it.”
I walk out of the bank in the same fog of confusion I did after talking to the principal at Cody’s school.
And then it hits me.
That interfering rat bastard. That lowlife toad, that…completely thoughtful, kind, caring idiot! How the heck am I supposed to keep up this level of loathing when all I can think about is how grateful I am at this moment? I won’t lose my apartment; I won’t have to change Cody’s school, and I won’t have to worry about where our next meal is coming from.
Especially since it seems that no one who’d headhunted me from other companies is interested anymore.
I still have just under three weeks before Jack and Minnie bring my son home, so I have some time now to do what I need to do and get my life sorted.
Starting with that damn hockey game on Saturday.
Yeah, I’m going! You didn’t think I’d let something like the thought of seeing Law make me cower under the covers did you? I am made of sterner stuff and besides…I kind of need to see him, now that I suspect that he saved me from the poorhouse.
I won’t mention it though—and not because I’m embarrassed. No, I could give a shit if he’s a few thousand down for bailing me out. The reason I won’t say a word is that I want to see what his next move is.
Just the fact that Law cared enough to snoop in my business makes me feel that rekindled spark of hope I thought was dead.
Buuuut, and this is a big but, I won’t allow him throwing money around to change my needs and views. If he’s still an asshole, then no amount of assistance is gonna help me.
It’s getting cooler by the minute, as I hotfoot it through the crowded streets and make my way home. Winter in the city can be a pain. Some winter days start off warmer than expected, fooling you, and then suddenly the temperatures drop so drastically.
I feel it through my lightweight coat and the sheer stockings I decided on this morning, and I almost run the rest of the way home, anticipating a hot cup of tea and a date with my laptop.
When the elevator opens, I’m digging through my purse for my keys so I don’t see Law sitting against my door until I literally stumble over his feet and fall right onto him.
“Ooomph!”
“Ah, and she still swoons at my feet,” he murmurs, copping more than one feel as I try to scramble to my feet in a semblance of grace.
Probably impossible, but hell, I give it a try anyway and stand glaring down at his smirking face.
“What are you doing here, Lawson?” I bite out, feeling ill prepared for this sudden visit.
He stands, showing every ounce of grace that I failed to portray and stares down at me, his jaw clenched at my rudeness.
“You didn’t show up for work, babe.”
“No shit,” I mutter, shoving the key into the lock and twisting it viciously.
The sight of him so close on the heels of his bullshit last night still makes me madder than heck, so I drop every squishy feeling I could possibly have for the man. (Okay, except the fact that just the sight of him gets me hot, but give me a break, my libido has no brain to speak of.)
When I go to slam the door in his face, he wedges a foot in and shoves it back quickly, causing me to scramble back or get my head knocked open.
“What the hell! Go away, Law.”
“Nope.”
He strolls into my apartment, going straight for the kitchen, and I want to start panicking. I have a million photos on display—of not only me and Brody but Cody as well. Shit, the ones I brought home from the office are even now sitting on the mantle.
“You want tea or coffee. Jesus, it’s freezing out, and I sat at your door for over an hour!” he yells from the kitchen.
“Tea!”
Okay.
I dash into the living room and grab every frame, album, and drawing I own, shoving them into the bottom drawer of the desk in my bedroom. Once that is done I close all of the bedroom doors and start checking all surfaces again.
When I see nothing incriminating, I fall onto the sofa and finally breathe through my wheezing lungs.
“Here you go.”
I accept the tea with a snarled thanks, and sit sipping silently as he peruses my apartment, his brows drawn when nothing personal stands out.
Hah! Eat your heart out, Law. My l
ife is none of your concern, and I want you to know it. I want you to know what it feels like not to have one little “in” anywhere, to feel alone and discarded, just as I feel.
And it doesn’t escape me that he sat outside my door, in the freezing cold waiting for me. Karma’s a bitch, huh?
“You need to come back to work, Nic.”
“No.”
“But.”
“Nope. You made me feel like shit for the last time, Law. This is the reason I shut you out of my life in the first place. You change your mind and mood on a dime, and I won’t have that. For myself or Cody. Last night just proved to me that you can’t possibly give a shit about me if you won’t hesitate to humiliate me in front of not only a friend but a roomful of strangers.”
I hear him sigh and mutter something under his breath before the sofa beside me dips and he’s crowding me into the corner.
“I screwed up. I let my temper get the better of me, Nic. Please, just give me a chance, baby. I swear I’ll make this all up to you,” he pleads.
There’s nowhere to go as he leans closer, his blue eyes taking in my every expression. I want to yell “no” at him and tell him that after his little display I brought Leo home and banged his brains out.
I want him to feel the angst I felt last night, even through my anger, at the thought of him taking that tramp home and satisfying his lust in her.
And that’s the problem, too. I feel a lot more for Law than I want to, a flame I’ve been secretly nurturing for years, and I just…can’t quit the guy no matter how much I want to.
“How?” I ask, taking a sip of the tea before leaning to the right and putting it on the side table. “How exactly will you do that, Law?”
He doesn’t answer, and I laugh ruefully. He never even thought this through, as usual, just saw what he wanted and went crashing towards it, namely me, thinking that a few sweet words would change everything.
And then suddenly I know what I have to do to make things right. To prove once and for all to myself that Law is worth another goddamned thought.
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