by Cathy Johns
"A month later, the realtors came by our house with the new owner since he wanted to move in and when they found us there, all hell broke loose. One of them wanted to call the police on us, they said we were intruders and didn't have the right to be living in someone else's house. I can tell you it was so confusing to us especially my mother who had no idea on what these men were talking about. All she knew was her husband was away on a business trip. She couldn't wrap everything around her mind, it was too much for her especially when they produced the proof for the sale of the house. My father's signature was there, she couldn't fathom how her own husband would do such a thing to her. How he could leave her out on the streets with a child"
I don't know what to say, how to comfort him since I can understand part of his pain. I never knew who my father was and never bothered to ask my mother but I felt it when the one man my mother thought was it for her walked out on her and left her pregnant with Michael. Some men.
"We didn't have a choice but move out. We had little to take with us because the man who owned the house had bought it with everything in it since my father had told him he was moving back home to his country of birth and didn't need anything from that house. With two suitcases and a four-year-old child, my mother decided it was time to go back home to her family but they never welcomed her. Her father was rude to her, called her names and told her to go back to the hell she had crawled up from. With nowhere else to go..." he closes his eyes and tears escape from the corner of his eyes and I can imagine the pain he's in trying to re-live the memories from the past. He clears his voice and tightens his grip on my hands.
"We were forced to travel back from Kisumu to Nairobi since that's where all my mother's friends were but nothing prepared her for what was to happen next."
"Let me guess, all her friends turned their backs on her?" He nods his head.
"Yeah. That's what they did. No one wanted to be associated with her. They said she couldn't keep her man happy that's why he did what he did. It tore my mama apart but she was a strong woman and learned how to pick herself up so fast. We moved to chocolate city one of the slums in Nairobi..."
"Where is that?" I have to ask because I've spent my whole life in Nairobi and don't know a place by that name. He chuckles.
"Wait a minute, you say you’re a Nairobian but have no idea where the chocolate city is?" He asks his brows raised in surprise.
"That's me. The woman who has spent all her life in Nairobi, and has no idea where that is." I snort.
"Well, let me enlighten you Nairobi woman, Chocolate City is that slum where you met Kelly." My hand goes to my mouth in shock. How could he have been raised there and...? Something is not right here. Before I can ponder on it, Taylor takes my free hand back and continues. I know he wants to get it all out and it's hard for me to concentrate now on every revelation.
"I was a mixed-race child living in a community that thought I deserved to be living in one of those high-end suburbs of Nairobi. My father’s genes must have been stronger that's why I have brown skin though my mother was also a mixed race like me. Her father was a Kenyan and her mother was a German. To everyone, I was this “Mzungu” child since my father was Canadian.” He air quotes. “I never got to understand why my mother's parents couldn't welcome their daughter back or why they never bothered to get to know their grandson but that was never my worry because I had the one person who never rejected me even when everyone did that to her. She stood by my side, she loved me withholding nothing and she was the closest thing next to an Angel. She was selfless, went out of her way to help others and she worked odd jobs so I never missed out on school.” He chuckles as he closes his eyes.
"My uniform was something else, it had all these patches that one couldn't tell what color my uniform was. I had one pair and had to keep it clean every day since my mother couldn't afford another pair and the shoes I wore, God. I had to cut pieces of newspapers so they could serve the purpose of an inner sole and they were torn but I managed. I never allowed it to bother me, never allowed it to affect my studies or my grades in school. I held my head up high because I knew one day I'd get us out of there and my mama would have a good life.
"We had this one tiny room that was made of mud that we would call home. I used to sleep on the floor on top of a very thin mattress and my mother would take the single bed. A small table and two stools, we never had electricity. That was one luxury we couldn't afford and we had to use a kerosene lamp. Some days we slept hungry since we didn't have food on the table and some days my mother made us porridge and it was supposed to be a meal that would last us the whole day. Nothing was simple for us.”
"When I turned eight, I started doing odd jobs. I would clean people's houses in the neighboring gated community, mowed the lawn so I could make some money to help my mama out and as tiny as I was, some people felt pity for me and would send me home with a shopping bag that had food to last us for a few days. While others were hurting, they physically abused me as they poured dirty water on me."
I can't help the tears running down my face as I think of an eight-year-old boy doing all the hard jobs just to make ends meet. Taylor pulls me in his arms and tries to calm me down and it takes a while before he starts speaking again.
"I took it all in. The pain, the humiliation, the rejection but not a day did I let my anger take control over me or what people thought about me. I was always calm and if something bothered me, I would lay it on the table and talk to mama about it. She had answers to every question I asked even when some were painful and confusing. There are days I would join the other boys when they went to the market to help carry the vendor’s goods. I carried what I could with my back until it hurt but I didn't allow any sort of weakness to creep in. I was happy that at such an age I could provide for the family.
"But all that changed when I turned fourteen and my mother was always ill. If it wasn't a headache, then it was something she had eaten or a cough which I always assumed was due to the many days she would wake up early before the break of dawn. We couldn't afford good medical care and she opted for drugs over the counter and then she would be okay for some time. I continued going to school since I was about to sit for my primary school final examination. Remember I had no proper school uniform, my shoes were torn beyond repair but I ignored what everyone said. I took pride in who I was, how I was brought up and the countless advice mama would give me. She told me I should respect women and to never take a woman for granted. I know what she meant because my father had done the same thing to her. The man who was supposed to keep her safe, love her for the woman she was till the end of time had toyed with her and then walked out of her life, walked out of his young son's life, left them homeless and not a care in the world on what happens next."
I'm trying everything to hold back the tears but I can't. This is too much for me to take. How could someone do this to him, to his mother...? God, some people do not deserve to be walking on this earth. I don't know how this beautiful, selfless man I've come to love has been able to go through all that and still come out stronger on the other side and I can't tell which role Leo played in all this.
"What about, Leo?" I find myself asking. "I'll come to that baby." He says wiping the tears from my cheeks.
I take a moment to gaze at his beautiful eyes, the way they glitter with unshed tears makes me see how strong he's been and God, he deserves more than what he's been able to achieve. Without thinking, I snake my hand around his neck and pull him towards me and kiss him, letting him feel everything I'm not able to say before letting him continue.
"After my KCSE, I joined the neighborhood boys for the initiation where we were all excited for we would no longer be boys but men and there was this church in the neighborhood that had volunteered to see us through the circumcision process and get to counsel and guide us to the new life we were about to join no longer as boys but young men before joining high school the next year."
He chuckles not sure what is funny but I can guess it
has everything to do with his childhood.
"When I came back home two weeks later, a week before my mother's birthday and a week to when the examination results were supposed to be announced nationwide, mama fell seriously ill. I didn't know what was happening to her but I'll never forget the next two days that followed. I sat on her bedside as she talked to me, encouraging me, telling me how proud she was for having me as her son and for growing up to the young man I had become.
"In my mind, I knew she was going to get well but my heart felt like she was telling me goodbye and she indeed was saying her goodbyes. The next day, I tried to wake her up but she wasn't moving nor was she breathing and when I called one of the neighbors to come and check on her, she said she was gone and my life came crumbling down right underneath me."
I pull him in my arms and cry. I cry for that young man who had to be the one to see his mother die before his eyes. I don't know how he was able to get through all that and be where he is now. The tears in my eyes are now a waterfall as I cry for all that Taylor had to go through.
"Shhh" he whispers kissing the tears from my eyes. "Baby, don't cry. It's all in the past now." He says but my mouth can't open up and so I nod my head. "I know it's all so overwhelming but you have to let me finish so we can move on from there."
I'm a mess, I'm an emotional wreck and instead of me being the one to comfort my man, I'm the one being comforted and tears kissed from my eyes. "Okay." That's all I can manage to say with my clogged throat.
"The community came together and helped me bury my mother but I was not prepared for what life had in store for me. I didn't have a mother anymore, didn't have a home and since I couldn't afford to pay rent for that house and no one could take me in, I was forced to sleep on the streets. I was all alone in this world and for one year the streets became my home until Leo and his dad found me.”
I had a hard time taking it all in. the thought of a helpless Taylor on the street tore me apart. I couldn’t fathom how life could be so unfair to him especially at such an age and not to mention the loss of his mother, the only person who meant the world to him. God, what I would do to take away the pain he must be feeling and all that he went through. I wouldn’t know what to do with myself if I was to lose my mother even at my age.
"I had a serious infection that had me hallucinating. I couldn't tell if I was alive or what. The infection was from a deep cut I had sustained on my palm while rampaging a trash can looking for something to eat. They took me to the hospital where I was admitted for a week and when I came around, Leo was the first face that I saw. He had this smile on his face though he looked like he hadn't slept for days of which it’s true. Leo had stayed beside me throughout my hospital stay hoping that I would get better. He was nice and friendly and when his dad asked me what had happened to me, I broke down and told him everything.
"Without thinking, the whole family wanted me to stay with them. They adopted me, gave me their last name and Leo's dad took me back to school. I had a new uniform, new shoes, I even had my own room and a driver who would drive Rita and I to school since Leo was already eighteen, he no longer needed a driver to drive him to school. He had his own car.
"They are all I've got in this world and I wish Leo's dad and mama were here to see the man I've become. I know they're both watching from above." He pulls me in his arms as he pats my hair. "And the rest you know from the media." I shake my head before pressing it on his chest where his heart is and listen to his heartbeat. Every beat tells me he's strong, he's a fighter and he's never let anything bring him down and now I know the children will get to share this heart of his that is big enough to give selflessly.
We hold on to each other as I let everything he has shared with me sink in. How can anyone walk out on him? How can someone live with themselves knowing what they did? I swear life is a bitch and cruel at times. Here I thought I was the one going through a hard time while the man I've come to love lost everything he ever had. Even if my mother can't seem to recognize me most of the time, I'm still glad she's here with me. She's still alive.
I don't know how to take all this. Hell, I don't even have the right words to say to Taylor.
"I'm sorry for all you've been through, for the way life has been cruel to you. I'm sorry you lost the one person who sacrificed everything so you could have it all and I swear I want to beat the sorry ass of the father who turned your life upside down." That makes him laugh so hard that I feel the vibration on his chest beneath my ear where I'm resting my head as tears fall on his black tuxedo jacket.
"Hey" he pulls me out of his arms and lifts my chin with his finger. "I also want to beat the hell out of his sorry ass but this is life baby. It throws punches at you left, right and center. It takes the people you love away from you but it's up to you to figure out how you'll take it from there. I went for counseling after my new family took me in and I've managed to live with it. And what matters is that I turned out to be the man mama would have been proud of." He says before planting a kiss on my nose.
"You sure did a good job, getting yourself all sexy-as-hell" I say trying to lighten the mood. “And you're cute." I tease. He hates when I call him cute. He says cute is for babies and puppies but not a full-grown ass man like him.
"Cute?" He asks pushing me back so I'm lying on the sofa him hovering over me, his leg between mine. I widen my eyes as if I didn't hear him well the first time. "Hope, did you just call me cute?" I can't help but laugh when he screws his face scrunching his nose.
"I just said you're cute." I giggle.
"Uh!" That's all he says before he pulls himself up and stands. His eyes looking down on me and in one swift move, he slings me over his shoulder and starts heading towards the stairs taking two at a time, spanking on my ass with every step he takes. He walks us to his bedroom where he throws me on the bed making me bounce on the mattress as he follows me, hovering over me with that gorgeous smile of his spreading across his face. My heart races fast and I clench my legs together since I know what's about to happen next
He kisses me long and hard, leaving me breathless before breaking the kiss. "I'm going to make you pay for calling me cute before taking you home."
True to his words, I'm naked within seconds his mouth on me and everything goes wild, I scream his name over and over. Panting and whimpering and I've never begged like I've done before he leaves my pussy, his mouth coated with my wetness. He kisses me hard as he drives himself home and that's all I need. He completes me. He makes me whole and I love him.
"I love you, Taylor."
Taylor
"I love you, Taylor."
The minute I hear those three words my world comes to a halt. I pause my thrusting and look down at the woman who has just said the words that only my mama and a few family have ever said to me. Not even Leah said those magical words to me and now I'm wondering if she has said that because of what I just told her or because she's in a different world after all the orgasms I've managed to pull out of her sweet beautiful body.
She opens her eyes and meets mine. "Did you just say what I think I heard?" I ask but she just looks at me pulling out that smile that tends to confuse me silly.
"I love you, Taylor. I've fallen so deep in love with you that I don't know what to do with myself anymore." She pulls me by the neck and kisses me like her life now depends on this one kiss and I let her take control of the kiss where she leaves us both breathless. "Yes, you heard it right. I love you."
I don't say anything for a while since I nip her lip letting her words sink down to that one place deep inside my heart where no other woman has ever claimed.
I withdraw my dick all the way out leaving the tip of my head inside her and thrust in slowly, I repeat the movement a few more times and I watch her arch her back her hands fisting on the sheets her eyes closed. Her moans and whispering fill the room and that makes me harder than I never thought possible. With slow shallow thrusts, I keep the rhythm going before pulling her up from the bed so that she's se
ated on my thighs. "Wrap your legs around my waist and your hands around my neck" I command. The movement drives me deeper inside her and I have to close my eyes tightly so I don't come on the first thrust. This is for her, I've wanted her the whole night and now that the past has been sorted, I guess we can take things the way we want.
I thrust slow, letting her feel everything I'm giving her. Each thrust makes me realize why there can never be another for me, it drives the point home straight to my heart then my soul where I know she's mine till my last breath. I look at her face as her head falls back, the soft moans escape her slightly open mouth as her nails dig on my shoulder.
"Taylor... oh god... I-I..." she screams my name as her pussy tightens around my shaft and I pound on her harder before pinching her engorged clit with my finger and I watch her quake in my arm before nipping on my shoulder her orgasm tearing her apart. I pump harder, chasing after her and I know another one is coming when she screams my name almost deafening my ears.
"Hope... baby" I groan loudly taking us both to the edge.
I wait for us to come down from our high, our breath out of control and I hold my woman in my hands as I lay her back on the bed, propping my elbows on the bed so I don't crash her with weight. Her eyes are closed and she’s never looked this beautiful and all mine in all ways. She's the reason for my living now.
And I love her.
"Open your eyes, baby" I whisper against her lips. Her beautiful brown eyes meet mine and I get lost in them for a moment... a moment where I wonder what our future will be like. Will she have the same look even when she's old and gray? Will she still give me the shocks that make the hair at the back of my neck stand up every time she's near? Will she still love me when I'm old and gray? Because what I feel for her cannot be explained. She completes every part of me. Not one day since I met her did she ever make me feel like I'm not wanted. She's Hope. She gave me hope that something good was about to happen. She's my hope for today, tomorrow, and always.