He smiled slightly. ‘Do you want me to come back in five years’ time? I might, you know.’
Ninni didn’t smile back. ‘You’re not your dad and this baby is not yours. I can’t risk it.’ She stepped back. ‘Please, Jack. Let’s end it here. I have made my decision. What you and I had was lovely, but everything has changed now.’
Jack realised he couldn’t change her mind. He wasn’t even sure if he wanted to. What if she was right? What if he couldn’t do it? She was right on another count too. He wasn’t his dad.
She moved away from the doorway and he passed without looking at her.
He could hear her locking the door behind him. She never locked the door. That was what she had said.
He pushed his hands into his pockets and walked down to the farm. When he reached the house, he stopped and looked up at Ninni’s house.
Damn, he thought. He’d never got to tell her his good news. Now he had to rethink everything.
Ninni stared at the door, not quite believing what she had done – that she had lied to Jack. She bit her lower lip. Frikk came up to her, whining and trying to push his nose into her hand.
She sank down and put her arms around his neck. ‘I’m not going to cry. I did this to myself, and I’m the one who can fix it. Let’s go home, Frikk. I can’t stay here now.’
She looked at the time. The next ferry would leave in half an hour. Plenty of time. Karl would have taken the previous one, and she wouldn’t risk meeting him on board.
She would ask Olav to put the boat back into the boathouse, but not until she was back on the mainland. She didn’t want anyone coming to the house when she was in this state. She would cry her eyes out, and probably beg Jack to stay.
‘Let’s pack,’ she said.
She ran upstairs and packed her backpack in five minutes. Then she walked through the house and pulled down the blinds. Her father would come at the weekends; he would look after everything.
The pile of Magni’s books on the table in the lounge stopped her. She had worked so hard to get them translated for him. Jack needed to see them.
With half an eye on the time, she sat down at the laptop and quickly wrote him a short letter. Then she copied everything over to a USB stick.
She put all of Magni’s books in a carrier bag before leaving, together with the stick. Then she locked the door and hurried towards the harbour, all the while not looking at Jack’s house. Just as the ferry docked, she popped into the shop and handed a surprised Alma the carrier bag.
‘Give this to Jack when you see him. I have to run. Something has happened and I have to go home. I’ll talk to you later,’ she said to Alma before she ran out again.
Once on board the ferry, she relaxed. She could see Alma coming out of the shop and waved at her. Alma waved back. I’ll call her tonight, she thought. As soon as I’m in control of myself again. I don’t want her to tell Jack anything.
Hopefully he would sell up and leave for London again.
Chapter 19
Ninni opened the door to the balcony. It was small, with barely enough space for a chair and a tiny table. The summer heat had dried out the lawn in front of the apartment building. No one in Bergen could remember the last time there had been sunshine almost every day for weeks.
The small apartment felt suffocating in the heat and she longed for the cool air on the island. And, if she was honest with herself, she also longed for Jack.
Ridiculous, she thought. She put a hand on her stomach. There was barely a bump yet, but it was there. She hadn’t told her father yet. It wasn’t really something she could do over the phone or by text. She hadn’t even told him she was back in Bergen. And then there was her mother. She would have to know as well.
Ninni smiled at the thought. Her mother wouldn’t mind becoming a grandmother. Hopefully. She might even come home for a visit. Stranger things had happened.
Frikk put his nose in her hand. Ninni patted him. ‘How do you think Jack is doing?’
The dog licked her hand. Ninni sighed. Two break-ups in one month and a baby on the way. That was a new record. She could only hope Jack wasn’t as miserable as she was.
The summer fling with Jack had helped her get over Karl’s betrayal. And, as it was just a fling, it should be easy to get over. She hoped.
She stood in the doorway for a long time, until Frikk barked.
‘Yes, yes, I know. Food. I should cook something for myself too.’ She chatted to the dog while she filled his bowl with dry food. In the few seconds it took him to hoover up the food, she made herself a half decent omelette.
I’ll call Pappa after dinner and ask him to come over, she thought.
No time to mope over Jack; she had other matters to concern herself with now. Like buying a crib, and working out how to keep a baby alive. There were plenty of books on the subject, apparently.
She looked at Frikk. ‘It’s not as easy as taking care of a puppy, you know.’
Frikk barked again.
***
A few days after Ninni had disappeared as quickly as she had come into his life, Jack decided to return to London. There wasn’t anything keeping him on the island, and he decided a clean break would be best.
It had been a nice dream, but that was all. For a moment there, he had contemplated settling on the island – he could become a farmer and perhaps build something with Ninni. And now that was all gone.
Good thing too, he thought. He had a job back in London, a life and his family. What did he need a farm in Norway for?
He popped inside Alma’s shop to say goodbye, and found Jens looking at a crate of tangerines with a puzzled expression on his face.
‘Oh, hei, Jack.’ Jens held up a peeled fruit, missing a few wedges. ‘There’s something wrong with these oranges.’
‘They’re tangerines,’ Jack said.
‘Tangerines? Oh, you mean clementines. But they can’t be. They’re so tart it burns the roof of your mouth,’ Jens said.
He spotted Jack’s suitcase. ‘Are you leaving?’
Jack smiled. ‘Yes, I’m going home. I just wanted to say goodbye.’
‘But you’re coming back, of course? We have got used to having you at the farm, you know,’ Jens said.
‘We’ll see,’ Jack said, trying to be diplomatic.
‘Oh, I understand. Well, it’s a good thing you came by. Ninni left something for you.’ Jens shuffled over to the post office desk and pulled out a carrier bag. ‘I don’t know why she left it with us when she could have given it to you herself, but here it is.’
‘What’s this?’ Jack couldn’t think of anything Ninni might leave behind for him.
Jens smiled. ‘I don’t know. We’re not allowed to open other people’s mail. It’s against the law.’
‘Thank you.’ Despite Jens’ obvious curiosity, Jack stuffed the bag in his suitcase.
‘Have you had any breakfast?’ Jens didn’t wait for a reply. He went over to the baked goods section and put two school buns in a small paper bag. ‘Here. Alma would have my head if I sent you on your way without anything to eat.’
Jack smiled. ‘Thanks. Give her my love, will you?’
‘Of course. She’s over at Britt’s, helping with the B&B. She’ll be sorry to have missed you.’
The arrival of the ferry ended the conversation, and Jack sighed with relief. Obviously Norwegians were as awkward at saying goodbye as the British, he thought.
Even so, Jens followed him out, gave him a pat on the back before he walked up the gangway and even waved when the ferry left.
Jack stayed on deck, watching as the ferry moved away. His eyes fell on the community building. It would have made a great restaurant, he thought.
And then his thoughts returned to Ninni. He didn’t like that.
Chapter 20
Jack came in the door of his apartment with one carrier bag too many. He almost fell over his own suitcase, blocking the hallway.
‘Watch out for the suitcase,’ Holly yelled from
the kitchen.
‘Why is the bloody thing standing in the hallway?’ Jack shook the rain off his hair.
His sister was sitting at the table with a stack of books in front of her. ‘Can I borrow your suitcase?’ she said, barely looking up at him.
‘Why do you bother to ask me when you’ve already taken it?’ Jack stretched his neck to see what she was looking at. It looked … medical. ‘What is that?’
Holly rubbed her eyes. ‘Exams,’ she said.
‘Is that why you need the suitcase?’ He failed to see the connection.
‘Yes. I have to study this weekend, and I’ve rented a cottage in the Cotswolds with some friends.’
Jack put the bags on the counter. ‘That sounds more like a party than a study group.’
Holly laughed. It was more of a snort. ‘We all have the same exams, Jack. It will make revision easier. We help each other stay awake, for one thing.’
‘Is that why you’re here so early? Where’s Dad?’
‘He’s coming later. He and Danny are fixing the roof of the shed. There’s a lot of hammering and swearing. It’s insane. I had to get out of there,’ she said.
‘I see.’ He placed an apple next to her. ‘Eat something. You look like a ghost.’
‘Right, and you don’t? At least I’m not miserable,’ she said.
Jack ignored that. But she took a bite of the apple and kept reading. He smiled and started taking things out of the bags. He was cooking for the family today, and they had high expectations.
Holly leaned over and grabbed a plastic bag from the table. It was vaguely familiar. Jack looked at the carrier bag and frowned. ‘Where did that come from?’
‘I found it in the suitcase. How have you not cleared it out since you returned from your little island?’
‘There was nothing in there that I needed,’ Jack said.
Truth was, he had taken out toiletries and clothes, then shoved the whole thing in the closet when he’d come home, too depressed to look at it. But he would never admit that to his baby sister.
‘I forgot about this,’ he said.
‘Liar.’ Holly tapped at it with her pencil. ‘What is it?’
‘I don’t know. I never looked inside,’ he said slowly.
Holly smiled. ‘Aren’t you curious? Don’t be such a chicken, Jack. Open it.’
‘Stop your nagging.’ He wasn’t sure what to expect when he saw Magni’s exercise books in there. In the bottom of the bag he discovered an envelope with a USB stick.
‘Hand me my computer, Holly,’ he said and pointed at the end of the table.
Holly grabbed it and handed it to him. She looked worried now. ‘Is it something bad?’
Jack shook his head. ‘I doubt it,’ he said and put in the stick.
A row of documents popped up on the screen. Eleven in all – one for each of the exercise books he had asked Ninni to translate. The last document was simply called Letter. He hesitated a moment before curiosity won and he opened the document.
Dear Jack, I’m sorry it had to end like this. I hope it doesn’t ruin the island for you. I finished translating Magni’s books. I’m sure she would have loved for you to read them. Love, Ninni
No, not love, Jack thought while he opened the first document. He tried not to think about her too much.
‘I’ll be damned,’ he muttered, reading the text.
‘What is it?’ Holly tried to look over his shoulder.
Jack smiled. The contents were a curious mixture of a diary, recipes and descriptions of both the farm and Agnar. ‘These are one of the diaries my grandmother wrote. Ninni translated them for me.’
Holly smiled. ‘That’s nice,’ she said and went back to her books.
Jack sank down on one of the chairs and started reading. He had no idea what to expect.
In the older books, from when Agnar was a boy, every year, on Agnar’s birthday, Magni described how much he had grown, how he was getting on at school and the work he did on the farm. Small things, daily chores, but important to her.
And then there were the other things. Recipes for meals she made. So many different ways of preparing fish. Christmas dishes. No wonder Agnar made “fenalår” and cured ham; his mother taught him how.
The recipe for Magni’s venison sauce made his mouth water. He remembered that Tobben told him they hunted deer and elk in the mountains every autumn. Perhaps he could introduce venison at the restaurant. Now that he was a full partner, he had a lot more influence in the running of the kitchen.
In the last diary Magni wrote about her husband’s passing: Agnar was heartbroken, but refused to talk to her about it. Instead he left on a ship. To meet my mum, Jack thought.
Ninni had also translated letters from Agnar to his mother.
‘Wow,’ he said.
Holly looked up. ‘What?’
Jack waved his hand and frowned as he read on. Agnar had stayed away from the island for a few years, leaving his mother to tend to the farm. Apparently she had managed fine without him. In one letter he told her she didn’t have to thank him for sending his wages to help with expenses.
‘It’s letters from … from Agnar to his mother,’ he said when Holly poked him.
‘From your father to your grandmother,’ she said.
‘I don’t know what Agnar was, but he was never my father,’ Jack said.
‘So, he was more like a sperm donor?’ Holly laughed when he scowled at her.
‘Let me finish reading, please,’ he said.
‘Sure, but you have to let me read it too,’ Holly said.
‘Uh,’ Jack said.
Magni had lived for Agnar’s letters. He’d responded kindly when she’d told him he needed to get married, have children who could one day take over the farm. She was sad he seemed unable to settle down. She must have told him her worries because Agnar had responded in a letter, saying perhaps it would happen one day.
Magni would take walks on the island and picture herself watching Agnar’s children play on the beach. It was heartbreaking. Jack was moved and angry with Agnar at the same time.
This is stupid, he thought. These people mean nothing to me. They are strangers. They are both gone. Magni never knew about me, and Agnar never wanted to know me.
Mental, he thought.
‘Are you crying?’ Holly interrupted his thoughts.
Jack frowned. ‘No, of course not. Don’t be daft.’
‘Well, something is affecting you.’ Holly took one of the original notebooks and opened it. She let her finger follow the spiky letters. ‘It’s a diary, right?’
‘Sort of. More like a farmer’s log book that she wrote in occasionally. There are so many recipes in there. And then there’s the letters Agnar wrote to his mother. He was her only son and she loved him. She wanted him to have a family and to be happy.’ He smiled. ‘It’s weird, isn’t it?’
‘A bit,’ Holly admitted. She handed the book back to him. ‘But mostly it’s nice and sad. I’m sorry you found out about them too late. I’m sure they would have been nicer to you than our lot.’
Jack closed the computer. Magni’s books brought back his fascination with the island. He realised he missed the place.
‘You have a funny look on your face,’ Holly said.
Jack shrugged. ‘It brings back memories of the island.’
‘Why did you leave? You never really told us about it,’ Holly said.
‘It’s not important.’
Holly looked at him with a serious light in her eyes. ‘I think it is. What about Ninni? You never speak about her either.’
‘You know why. She’s back with the father of her baby,’ Jack said.
‘Are you sure?’ Holly raised her eyebrows.
‘What do you mean?’ Jack stood up from the table, not really wanting to talk about Ninni. ‘Of course I’m sure.’
Holly didn’t give up so easy. ‘Well, you told us she had left that guy because he cheated on her, and that he was a proper bastard. Why would
she go back to him? I don’t understand.’
‘Neither do I. But she did, and that was it.’
Holly turned around in her chair and studied him while he shuffled vegetables around on the counter.
‘Why are you here, Jack?’
‘I’ve invited you and Danny and Dad for dinner, haven’t I?’ He took one of the chef’s knives from the rack and started cutting tomatoes.
‘No, that’s not what I mean. You so miss this strange little island of yours. Do you remember how miserable you were with Roland and Fedra before you left? Before you knew about the farm and the island? You were so fed up with the place, with everything, really.’
Jack remembered the relief when he’d left the restaurant behind. And after he came back things hadn’t changed much. He didn’t feel any triumph over becoming a partner either.
‘Yeah, I remember,’ he said.
Holly pointed at her books. ‘Do you know why I do this?’
‘If you’re going to preach to me or share snippets of your great wisdom, I’m not interested.’ Jack smiled at her.
‘My point is that I work this hard because all I ever wanted was to be a doctor. You always wanted your own restaurant, and you’re not getting it here in London. Roland may have made you a partner, but you’re not feeling like one, are you? I can see it. Why can’t you?’
‘It doesn’t matter any more,’ he said.
‘Then why haven’t you sold the farm?’ Holly wagged her finger at him. ‘You know I’m right.’
‘I don’t want to talk about it, Holly. Now, let me cook in peace.’ Jack shoved Magni’s books back in the bag and put it on one of the bookshelves.
Holly shook her head then returned to her books. ‘Men,’ she muttered.
Jack ignored her and started preparing for dinner. He didn’t want her to be right, but she was. He knew she was.
Not that it was Holly’s business, but he hadn’t gone for Haldorsen’s offer and had asked Mats to look for a better buyer, someone who would look after the farm.
Perhaps it was time to rethink that.
***
Ninni rubbed her lower back and pulled a face. The shop overwhelmed her. It was filled with everything a baby could possibly need, and then a lot more she was convinced it didn’t need. There seemed to be millions of stuffed animals and cute accessories.
Summer Island Page 21