I shook my head before the words had even finished coming out of her mouth.
“Why not?” She asked, crossing her arms across her chest and sitting back into her chair.
“You have nothing to make up for, Bristol,” I said honestly.
She closed her eyes. “If it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t have gone to that party in the first place.”
I shook my head, a small smile tipping up my lips.
“No, but you would’ve called me to bring you home, and I would’ve come. And the same outcome might’ve been possible,” I answered her.
She closed her eyes.
“I want you to stay. Dallas wants you to stay. Please, stay,” she whispered.
Dallas was my younger brother, by exactly thirteen minutes.
He and Bristol had gotten close once I’d been taken away.
Bristol lost her best friend, and Dallas lost the sister that he told everything to.
It was inevitable that they’d find solace in each other’s arms.
I looked into her sincere eyes and felt myself caving.
“You’ll let me pay rent?” I confirmed.
A muscle ticked below her right eye.
“Yeah,” she said very begrudgingly.
“And you’ll let me babysit for you whenever I want?” I asked her.
She laughed.
The sound was sweet.
And I loved it.
“Of course, anytime you want.”
I smiled. “Good. Now, how about you tell me what it is that you’ve been avoiding telling me.”
She looked down at the piece of paper that had lined my straw, she picked it up and started to pick it apart into tiny little pieces.
“Isaac,” she started, then stopped again.
My brows rose.
“Isaac,” I encouraged her.
She dropped the paper onto the tray and reached for my hands.
“Isaac is engaged to someone else. He got one of his secretaries at work pregnant, and he’s marrying her next weekend,” she said in a rush.
I blinked.
“You’re…he’s…what?” I asked, flabbergasted.
She nodded.
“Yeah, you heard me right,” she confirmed.
I looked down at the cheese that’d fallen from my burger earlier and cringed.
“Wow,” I said unsurprisingly. “I always thought he’d give up on me… just, not for it to happen the day I got out of prison.”
Bristol licked her lips, and I knew she had more to say.
She just didn’t want to hurt me anymore.
“What is it?” I asked softly.
She took a deep breath, and then gave me the full force of her brown eyes.
“He’s been doing it since the beginning… I just didn’t want to tell you when you had enough things to worry about,” she admitted.
I froze, but Bristol continued to speak.
“I’ve debated telling you for years now… it’s just… how do you tell your best friend that the man she thinks she’s going to marry is actually with someone else? You’ve given me your life, and I owe you everything. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have my family right now. And it breaks my heart that you had to have something so god awful happen to you for me to accomplish my dreams,” Bristol cried softly.
I grabbed her hand. “Bristol, I’ve already told you a million times that it wasn’t your fault. How many times do I have to do that before you understand? What happened that night… that was all me. Every bit of it. I hit that person. Those people. I chose to drink. I chose to go to that party with you. Everything is my fault, not yours. I love you, but you need to give it a rest. Let your heart heal.”
She looked at me with tears in her eyes.
“And when will you heal?” She asked forcefully.
I shook my head.
There would be no healing for me.
There would just be existing.
And that’s all that there would ever be.
Existing, alone.
Chapter 3
I hate when people accuse me of lolly-gagging when I’m quite obviously dilly-dallying.
-Coffee Cup
Sawyer
“I don’t have much experience with anything office related,” I told the receptionist at the vet’s office where I was applying. “I’m good with dogs, though.”
The woman smiled. “Well, that’s definitely a plus!”
I smiled back.
The woman’s smile was infectious.
Her name was Joanie, and she reminded me a lot of my mom.
“Joanie, I’ll need you to input this into the computer and order some meds for Diesel so Mr. Coby can take him home,” called an older man with a smile on his face.
I watched him walk into the little counter area and hand Joanie a piece of paper before turning to look at me.
He offered me his hand.
“Zack Deguzman,” he introduced himself, offering me his hand.
“Sawyer Berry. It’s nice to meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you,” I shook his hand.
“Are you kin to Dallas Berry?” He asked.
I froze for a second. If I said that I was related to Dallas, he would know exactly who I was, but how else could I explain how I’d heard about him?
There was no guarantee that he wouldn’t judge me like others had.
“I’m…” I hesitated, looking for a good way to phrase it. “Yes. I’m Sawyer Berry. Dallas’s sister.”
I could tell the minute he realized just who I was.
I saw the surprise in his eyes, followed by the pity.
What I didn’t see, though, was disgust.
Something I saw on quite a few people’s faces when they realized who I was and then remembered just who it was that I’d killed.
“Ah,” he said, nodding his head. “I understand. Come, walk with me to the exam room so I can see one of my favorite patients.”
I blinked in surprise.
“Really?” I asked.
Now that he knew, he didn’t act any differently, and I was really surprised.
Most people acted differently, almost as if I had an infectious disease after being released from prison.
I hurried behind Dr. Deguzman, who was walking rather quickly.
“Gosh, Dr. Deguzman, you have long legs,” I panted as we arrived at the room in the very back of the office.
His eyes sparkled as he turned to look over his shoulder at me.
“Call me Zack. And get ready for some fun,” he said, opening the door slowly.
The moment it was open wide enough, a wiggly little body slipped out, darting like a brown missile straight towards me.
I dropped down onto my knees and picked the little cutie up before he could scurry any further past.
“Gotcha,” I cooed, bringing the wiggling, wagging, excited little dog up to my face and giving him a kiss. “Aren’t you just the cutest thing I’ve ever seen?”
“That’s my dog,” a cute, little voice said softly.
I looked up into a beautiful pair of green eyes and smiled.
“This is your puppy?” I asked. “What’s his name?”
“He’s actually a she. And her name is Lou,” she said, crossing her hands across her little chest and glaring at me.
“A girl named Lou,” I nodded. “Got it.”
I handed the dog back to her, and she wrapped her thin arms around its wiggling body and started to struggle back into the room that Zack had closed once he’d realized I had caught the little bundle of energy who had managed to escape.
I opened the door for her and bent down to stop any more wayward escapees. I could hear the fun they were having beyond the door, and, sure enough, I managed to catch two more as they tried to dart out.
“Here you go, daddy,” the little girl with the beautiful blonde hair said to the most beautiful man I’d ever seen in my life.
/> He was literally captivating.
And very obviously taken if the gold wedding band on his hand, as well as the three kids at his feet, were anything to go by.
“Thanks, baby,” the man said, gesturing to the floor where he wanted her to put the dog.
Dr. Deguzman… Zack… was on the floor running his fingers along the scruff of the puppy at his feet. A little black dog that was just a smidge smaller than all the others.
The mother of the dogs, a gorgeous German Shepherd that reminded me of the very thing everyone thought about when they hear ‘German Shepherd,’ was on the floor in the corner of the room, watching the comings and goings with sharp eyes.
“That’s Tequila,” the man said.
I blinked and looked up at him. “What?”
“The dog. Her name is Tequila,” he rumbled again, clarifying his earlier information.
I swallowed thickly, so caught up in the two different colors of his eyes that I kind of forgot to breathe.
I nodded in understanding. “Gotcha.”
His eyes studied me closely, watching me while I interacted with the dogs.
I tried my hardest to ignore it.
Out of my peripheral vision, though, I took him in.
He was wearing what most bikers would wear, since that was what he ultimately was.
Or, at least, that’s what I figured him for from the biker’s vest he was wearing.
I vaguely remembered a biker gang being here the few times that I’d come to Benton, Louisiana with my parents, but I didn’t remember them looking like that.
“Well, they all look fairly healthy, Trance. I don’t see a thing wrong with them. I also think they can be weaned from their mother now, too. That means your training can start as soon as you want to. They’re perfect,” Zack informed Trance.
“Shit,” Trance said, sighing and rubbing his face with his hands.
“Daddy sad,” the boy said.
The boy looked a lot like his father with his blue eyes and curly blonde hair, and you could definitely tell they were father and son.
The littlest, though, was all of two year’s old at most.
He didn’t look like his father.
My best guess was that he looked like his mom.
Because he was the only one with curly black hair and pale skin. He resembled a porcelain doll, and he was currently looking me in the eyes, his the most brilliant green that I’d ever seen, and my heart stuttered in my chest.
“Daddy sad?” He asked me.
He touched my cheek, then leaned forward and threw his arms around my neck.
Stunned momentarily, I had to wait a few seconds for my heart to stop breaking.
If I had a kid, I would have wanted him to be just like this child.
But that wouldn’t be happening for me, and I’d decided to let it go.
“I don’t know why your daddy’s sad, baby. Maybe you should ask him that when you’re alone,” I told him gently.
He squeezed me tighter, pulled back, and gave me a toothy grin that consisted of large amounts of drool.
“Cookie?”
I smiled and shook my head. “No, I don’t have any cookies.”
“Daddy has cookies in the car,” the little girl reprimanded the boy gently. “And he told you not to talk to strangers.”
I decided not to point out that she’d done the same thing only moments before with the dog. Instead, I chose to stay silent as I stood and put some distance between me and all that cuteness.
The kids… not the man.
Not that he wasn’t hot as hell, either.
He just wasn’t my type.
Not that I had a type anymore.
I’d been thinking that Isaac was my type all these years… yet, here I was, single with no desire for any type.
“Good,” the biker man said. “I can’t wait to share that news with Viddy. She’ll cry.”
Zack snorted. “Your wife will have to let them go eventually. Aren’t you going to start training them for the police officers in Shreveport and Bossier? Seems you can’t do that if you don’t start giving them a little leash to run on.”
The man sighed.
“When our old dog, Radar, died… she never got over it. She still cries when she sees pictures of him, and she’s devastated that he’ll never get to know his grandbabies,” the man said softly.
“Well, Trance, I really would like to see these boys getting out for a little social attention. I’d love you to bring them to the puppy party this weekend. It’ll be good for them. If you end up deciding you’ll come, just give us a call the day before, so we can have enough food for all of them,” he said, standing up and offering his hand.
Trance took it and shook Zack’s back once before dropping it and saying, “Alright, guys, let’s start hauling ‘em out to the truck.”
One of the seven dogs was dropped unceremoniously into my arms, and I smiled at the little runt that Zack had been cooing over earlier.
“I like this one the best,” I said to no one in particular.
“He’s for sale if you want him,” Trance mumbled as we all walked out the door.
“What? Why?” I asked.
Hadn’t I just heard that he was going to train them to be police dogs?
“He’s the runt and the sickly one. We won’t be training him to be a K-9 officer. The other six will be. They have that drive. That one just likes to lay there and sun himself all day. Not saying that’s not a good thing, but it’s not a trait that makes a good K-9 officer,” Trance explained.
I blinked. “Really? So, how much for a lazy dog that likes to sun himself?”
“You can have him for nine hundred dollars,” Trance said as he started loading them up into the back of the truck.
I handed the one in my arms over reluctantly.
There was no way in hell I could afford nine hundred dollars.
“Ah,” I said as Trance took him without looking at my face. “I can’t do that right now. Plus, I’m not sure my brother’ll want another dog at his house.”
He nodded. “If you change your mind, Zack has my number.”
The kids were the next thing he loaded into his big ‘ol truck before he backed out of the vet’s office with me watching them leave.
That man had everything that I wanted out of life.
And it sucked that I’d never have what he had.
***
“Well, I’d love for you to take the job, Sawyer. It’s completely up to you, but I think you would really fit in well with our team,” Zack said as we walked out later that night.
I smiled.
“Thank you, Zack. I look forward to spending more time here and helping any way I can,” I said honestly.
He smiled.
“Why didn’t you say anything to Trance about training dogs?” He asked as he walked with his hands in his pockets. “I’m sure he could use the help.”
I grimaced. I had explained to the vet that I had trained dogs, but not that I was in prison while I did. I loved that part of my life, but I’d still been incarcerated while I’d done it, and it wasn’t something that I was comfortable talking about. At least not yet.
“Because it would’ve gone into why I know how to help train dogs,” I answered. “And then he would’ve looked at me differently.”
Zack snorted.
“He knew who you were without you telling him. He’s a cop and a member of The Dixie Wardens MC. I hate to break it to you, honey, but everyone knows who you are. You haven’t changed much in the last eight years. As soon as you said you were related to Dallas, I knew exactly who you were. But I’m old. Others that have a sharper brain will figure it out instantly. I think it’s time to give yourself a little break. Maybe they won’t have a problem with it like you think they will,” Zack said, coming to a stop beside his Ford truck.
I’d admired it as soon as I pulled into the parking lot.
It
made sense that the most expensive vehicle there belonged to the one that got paid the most.
I looked over at my bike that was leaning against the side of the building we’d just come to a stop next to and sighed.
“What time would you like me to be here?” I asked softly, avoiding the subject of me telling people who I was and what I’d done, completely.
“Eight sharp, Ms. Berry. I have a couple foals to go check on in the morning, and I think I’d like you along to help me,” he answered immediately.
I gave him a thumb’s up and started walking to my bike.
I’d had a car a long time ago, but when I’d had to get a lawyer… the car had to be sold to pay for lawyer fees.
Now I had to save up some money again to pay for a new one.
At one time, I had money saved, but my entire life savings had been sunk into our lawyer.
I was literally starting from scratch.
“Be careful, Ms. Berry,” Zack called as I started pedaling out of the parking lot.
At least the exercise would be good for me.
I wasn’t ‘fat.’
Far from it, but I also wasn’t ‘in shape’ either.
Well… roundish was a shape…just not the shape I wanted.
I’d nearly pedaled all the way to the county line when I saw the first biker pass me.
Then a second. And a third.
Until I’d been passed by at least ten of them.
I blinked as they kept pace with me as I rode down an impressively steep hill.
I’d had to walk up it this morning, pushing the bike. It was too steep for my out-of-shape legs.
One biker, though, caught my eye above all the others.
He was older than the rest.
He had on blue jeans that were so faded that I was sure they’d be as soft as silk.
He wore a red t-shirt under the same black biker vest that the man at the vet today, Trance, had been wearing.
His helmet only covered the very top of his head, and I wondered what the point of wearing it was when it only covered half of it. Was the bottom half unimportant?
Then I thought about the fact that I wasn’t wearing one at all, and I was going just as fast as they were, and snickered to myself, turning my attention back to the road in front of me.
I felt the vibrations from the motors in my teeth as they slowed even further, letting me pass, before they all turned into a parking lot.
Counter To My Intelligence (The Heroes of The Dixie Wardens MC Book 7) Page 3