by T. S. Joyce
“Brooke paints,” Kellen murmured.
Skyler had only ever seen the pictures of Brooke’s attacker. She sometimes studied them when she was alone in 1010 and organized them into piles. They were mesmerizing, but this? This was incredible. Brooke had captured the mountain and the job site in a way Skyler never would’ve thought possible. She stepped around the couch and looked at it closer. “It’s stunning.”
She moved onto the kitchen with its whitewashed cabinets and quaint wooden cutouts. A countertop separated it from the living room. The sink was empty, and clean dishes were stacked on a drying rack. A small, two-seat table sat against the wall with a stack of outdoor magazines as the centerpiece. His furnishings weren’t what she’d expected. They were sparse and minimal but of fine quality. Everything seemed to be in its place, as if his bear couldn’t tolerate clutter.
Kellen watched her with an unfathomable expression as she moved around his space. His dark eyes never left her as she smiled and moved to his bedroom. Like the rest of the den, it was neat and orderly. His bed was made, the navy comforter wrinkle free, as if it was ready for a catalogue picture. A cup of water sat on the nightstand, and she brushed her finger down the cool glass before she turned.
Steeling herself, she squinted at his dark silhouette across the room and asked, “Kellen, why do you have to live in the dark?”
Kellen hesitated, lingering at the door. The dark stole his facial expressions, so she couldn’t tell if he was shutting down on her again or not. After a pregnant pause, he approached slowly and lay on his bed.
“Come here.”
“My clothes are wet. Will your bear get angry if I mess up your bed?” She didn’t understand the dynamics, nor had she realized how much his animal ruled his life. Her animal side wasn’t like that—a separate personality. Her inner animal was just an extension of herself.
“I don’t care about the bed. I want it to smell like you, anyway. Maybe then I can sleep better.”
She lowered herself to the mattress and laid her head on his chest. “Would you sleep better if I slept beside you?”
His heart went to pounding like a base drum against her ear, and she smiled. Hide his feelings all he wanted, but he couldn’t put a poker face on his heartbeat.
“Yes. I didn’t think you would want to sleep in a place like this. You are light and happy, and this place is dark.”
“This place is a part of you, and I want to be with you. Besides, I don’t need light when I sleep.”
Voice deep and sure, he said, “Then yes. And I live in a den because growing up, I didn’t feel safe.”
“Your dad?” She’d pieced together that his father had been bad news.
Kellen sniffed. “My dad wanted his cub to be the toughest bear that ever was. He thought letting me sleep in beds would make me soft and weak, so he raised me like the animal inside of me—like a bear. I slept in the woods—no tent, no mattress, separated from my family, no matter if it rained or snowed—until the old bastard died when I was ten.”
“Oh, my gosh,” she said on a sad sigh. “Where was your mother?”
“He was beating on her. She didn’t have any say in how I was raised. Eventually, she left.”
Skyler clutched his shirt and squeezed her eyes closed against the image of Kellen sleeping all alone, cold and afraid out in the woods, every single night. “Were you angry when she left?”
“Yeah. I didn’t blame her for leaving, though. I was mad she didn’t take me with her. She was living out on a mountainside in a broken down bus they’d converted to a home. Who could blame her for moving on from that? My uncle would come visit every few months, bring us food and try to talk my dad out of his paranoia. Dad thought humans would find us out, so I didn’t see or talk to anyone outside of my family until he died and I wandered into the nearest town. I didn’t know how to talk to anyone. Still don’t. It makes me…feel different, like an outsider. People don’t understand me, and I don’t understand them.”
Everything made sense now. Every single thing she’d been confused about clicked quietly into place. His hatred for men who hurt women, his need to lift her up and make her strong. The way he talked and how he discussed shifter matters within earshot of humans. How he watched others as if he was studying them, how he kept his past hidden. No wonder he’d locked these secrets away. She would’ve done the same thing to protect herself.
“Were you happy when you went to live with Tagan? Were you able to be a child?”
Kellen huffed a humorless laugh. “Poor Meredith didn’t know what to do with me for the first two years. I was much worse off than I am now, I can tell you that. But yeah, I was happy. I am happy, but some of the stuff I went through is just part of me now. I won’t be rehabilitated. I’m just…me.”
“Kellen?” she asked, hugging his waist and snuggling against his side. “How do bears claim a mate?”
He froze under her touch, every muscle rigid. “The males bite the females during sex, hard enough to leave a scar. We mark our mates. I wouldn’t be any good at being a mate, though. We would have to be something different. Something less.”
“Disagree. I think you would make a wonderful mate. Who told you that? Who said you would be bad at it?”
“My mother.” His voice dipped to a ragged-sounding whisper. “She would cry and say I looked just like my father. That I’d grow up to be just like him, a monster.”
Skyler hunched in on herself at the pain in those words. What a terrible set of parents he’d had. What a terrible life they’d provided for him. Even if his mom was hurt by her mate, she shouldn’t have taken it out on her child.
“Kellen, I want you.” Her voice trembled, and she dashed her hand across her damp lashes. “I want you because I know the truth. I know you would be a wonderful mate. You are nothing like your father, do you understand? You brought me here to save me. You’ve lifted me up at every opportunity. I’m stronger because of you. You gave me the necklace because you pick me, right?”
In the dark, she could barely see him, but she could feel him nod his head, hear the whisper of his hair against the comforter.
“Well, I pick you back. Fuck what your mother said. I know you. I see you. Your heart is too big to ever hurt me. I love the life you’ve given me, and I love the way you treat me. I love your den. I love…I love you, Kellen. Everything about you. None of this scares me off. It only makes me feel closer to you.”
Kellen’s breath hitched, and he pressed his forefinger and thumb against his eyes.
She pulled him up and straddled him, tugged his shirt over his head, then tossed it to the floor. When her own shirt and bra joined the pile, she hugged him up tight until there was no end to her and no beginning to him. Her chilled skin warmed against his, and when his shoulders stopped shaking, she eased back and cupped his cheeks.
“You’re mine, Kellen Cade Brown. I don’t care what anyone else says. Our relationship is different because we’re different, and that’s okay with me.”
He rested his forehead against hers. “I want you, too. I’ll mark you when you’re ready.”
A slow smile of sheer joy stretched her face. Her heart was wide open and raw from the emotions of the last two weeks, but she wasn’t exhausted from the upheaval like she should’ve been. Instead, she felt alive for the first time in forever, and Kellen was a huge part of why she could smile again. She thought she hadn’t had a choice when Roger picked her, but she’d been lied to.
The choice in a mate was hers.
The choice in a mate was Kellen’s.
Kellen kissed her slow and easy, brushing his fingertips lightly up and down her back, conjuring gooseflesh as she bowed against him.
Skyler brushed her lips down his jawline, then his neck, and rested her chin on his shoulder. With a private grin at how lucky she’d been after all, she closed her eyes and whispered, “I’m ready now.”
Chapter Ten
“Where do you want my mark?” Kellen asked on a breath.
“I don’t want to hurt you.” His hips swayed against her thighs, pressing the thick roll of his erection against her jeans.
“I’ll be honored to bear your mark.”
He nodded and cupped her breast in his warm palm. “It is my honor that you’ve chosen me to be your mate, Beautiful.”
Her heart fluttered at the nickname. Out of all the ones the Ashe crew called her, this one was her favorite. Kellen had gifted it to her when she’d felt worthless and hideous. It was the first word that began this incredible transformation inside of her.
Kellen undressed her the rest of the way, then shucked his pants and pulled back the comforter. When she was tucked up, dry and warm beside him under the covers, he rolled her onto her side and pulled her back against his chest. A delicious tremble shook up her spine at the feel of his taut chest against the tender skin across her shoulder blades.
“What was that?” Humor laced his question.
Heat blazed up Skyler’s cheeks, and she was thankful he wouldn’t be able to see it in the dark. She closed her eyes and focused on the way his finger trailed fire up her side. “I like the way you touch me,” she whispered, afraid to break the spell he cast on her.
His cock, hard as stone, pressed against her lower back as he tucked his hips forward. Gooseflesh sprang up under his fingers When he dragged his fingers softly over the curve of her shoulder, gooseflesh sprang up under his touch.
“Good,” he murmured.
His tongue touched the back of her neck just before his soft lips did. He gripped her hip as he allowed his teeth to scrape her skin. Was this it? Would he mark her now, or was this just a tease? She arched her back and exposed her neck, pressing against his erection. His hold on her hip tightened, and a quiet growl of approval rumbled up his throat.
She could feel the vibration against her spine and gasped as he touched his teeth to her neck again. Wetness pooled between her legs.
Reaching back, she ran her fingertips through his hair and pulled him closer to her, exposing her throat even more, encouraging him.
He chuckled deep in his throat. “You do want my mark, don’t you, little songbird?”
A whimper escaped her lips as she nodded. She wanted it more than she’d ever wanted anything. With his claiming mark on her skin, she’d belong to him, a man worthy of her affection.
He nudged his knee between her legs and lifted upward until she was spread wide. Her body curled backward against him as he pumped his erection slowly against her spine. With a strong grip, he pressed his thumbs into her lower back, then angled her hips toward him.
“I was told your people mate from behind,” he whispered against her ear, just before plucking her sensitive lobe between his lips. “Would you like that?”
She was panting now, desperate for him to touch the wetness he’d conjured between her legs. “Please,” she begged. “Yes.”
Kellen eased his hips away, and when he pressed against her backside again, his long cock slid against her crease, the head of it touching her clit just barely before he pulled back. Oh, that tease. She was going to explode if he didn’t fill her.
“Kellen?” she whimpered.
He ran his hand across the swell of her hip then up her ribcage, slowly drawing another tremble from her body. He was so close, his cock sliding against her wetness, teasing her entrance.
He grazed his teeth against her neck again, and she arched deeply against him. The sharp canines disappeared, only to be replaced by his soft lips as he sucked on her skin. He reached around to the front of her and cupped her sex. She bucked helplessly against his palm.
“I’m going to come,” she panted out in warning.
She felt his lips stretch in a smile against her neck. He pulled his hand away, and she reached back and gripped his hair in an effort to stop the throbbing that was building inside of her. All of her nerve endings were on fire, and any touch from him now would be dangerous. She was riled up and just on the edge as he pressed his cock through her wet heat again. Just shy of her sensitive spot, he pulled back.
Kellen let out a long breath as he gripped her waist and slid into her. Her body stretched around him, and she let out a groan at the feel of him moving within her.
Slipping his hand between the sheets and her side, he wrapped her up in a tight embrace and squeezed her breast. Tweaking her nipple gently, he pulled out of her slowly, torturously, then thrust into her again.
“Faster,” she begged.
Kellen’s fingers dug into her waist at her request, and he jerked forward, as if he were losing control. As he pulled out of her much too slowly again, his muscles shook.
“Please, Kellen. Faster!”
His stomach contracted forward again, forcing him to fill her. This time he rolled his hips slightly faster, and she closed her eyes. This, right here, this was what making love should be like. It wasn’t supposed to be used for pain, like Roger had threatened. It wasn’t supposed to degrade her or make her feel dirty. Sex wasn’t a weapon. This, what Kellen was doing to her now, was bonding her to him in a way she never could’ve imagined. Each tender caress made her love him even more. Made her devotion to him run deeper.
Kellen didn’t know how to fuck her. He only knew how to worship her body.
Louder and louder, her voice lifted in a groan of ecstasy every time he pressed into her, until he began bucking hard. His careful control was slipping away, and the growl in his throat became more feral with every sound of pleasure she made.
He flipped her on her hands and knees and slammed into her from behind, rocking her forward then back. His body pressed against the length of her spine, and his lips found her neck on the next thrust. His teeth touched her skin, her nerve endings firing just at her hair line.
Each powerful thrust, she was sure he’d pierce her skin and claim her. Pressure spread through her abdomen until she couldn’t contain it anymore.
He was waiting for something. He’d been careful with her, caring. He’d said once that he wanted the choice to be hers.
“Kellen,” she gasped. “I choose you.”
He cupped her sex and slammed into her just as his teeth penetrated the skin at the back of her neck. Pain and pleasure clashed, blinding her until she cried out. Her body tensed around him as he swelled within her, and as he forced his elongating teeth down into her muscle so his mark would scar and remain forever, another wave of orgasm consumed her.
He thrust into her in such a fast rhythm, all she could do was lock her elbows and hope her arms held as pulsing waves of pleasure crashed through her like an ocean surge against the sand. Kellen froze, biting down as he groaned. His seed poured into her, warming her from the inside out. He pushed forward again as a second jet shot into her, then a third.
Caught between pain and bliss, she cried out as his bite released her. Skyler’s arms trembled so badly, she fell forward onto her elbows. Why was she crying?
Kellen’s tongue stroked where warmth streamed down her throat. Over and over, he lapped at her, cleaning her, soothing her. “It’s done,” he murmured in her ear.
Kisses trailed around the injury, and when his weight disappeared from her, she thought he would pull out and cradle her. Instead, he kept his connection, deep within her, and ran his strong hands up and down her back, massaging, petting, and relaxing her.
Locking one arm against the mattress beside her, he reached under her and kneaded her breasts, then he cleaned the wound again. It felt better already. Part of it was her shifter healing, repairing the muscles that had been ripped open, but it was more than that.
Kellen was healing her—heart, soul, and body—with his careful attentions.
His cock grew hard within her again, but he didn’t seek pleasure for himself. Instead, he pulled out, rolled her over gently, propped a pillow under her neck, and kissed her lips. She could taste iron on his tongue from where he’d cleaned her, but it only made her love him more. He hadn’t wa
nted to hurt her, but he’d been strong. Done what was necessary to claim her, then taken care with her afterward.
Her gentle bear—her tender mate.
He lowered himself and sucked on her sensitive nipples in turn, then trailed his lips down her stomach. Her breath froze as his mouth brushed her clit. With such tenderness, he kissed and sucked and lapped until she came again. With her hands in his hair, guiding him, she didn’t scream out like she had earlier. This time, his name came on a breath of gratitude as he brought her to climax slowly. And when her aftershocks ceased, he climbed up beside her and tucked her neatly against his chest where she was safe and warm.
“My mother was wrong,” he whispered in the dark. “I won’t be like my father. I’ll work hard to make you happy every day. I promise to be the mate you deserve.”
A tear slipped out of the corner of her eye and landed with a tiny splat against the pillow. Running her hand down the smooth planes of his back, she burrowed in closer to him. “You already are.”
Chapter Eleven
A tremendous banging noise jolted Skyler awake. Her body flung backward so fast, her stomach dipped to her toes before she was still again. She seemed to be pressed between the headboard and the wide expanse of Kellen’s back. She couldn’t see a damned thing in Kellen’s den.
“Rain stopped,” Bruiser called through the thin wall. “We need your truck.”
The tight knots in Kellen’s shoulder muscles relaxed. “Idiots,” he muttered, stumbling from the bed.