Take My Dress Off

by S. Gilmour

  “What? That’s ridiculous,” I tipped the glass to my lips. Chaz stared at me, his eyes heavy from too much alcohol.

  “You think it’s ridiculous?” He held the champagne to his lips and took a long sip.

  “At our age? Yes.”

  “Dad’s side of the family are very Mexican and very traditional.”

  “Meaning?” This conversation was quickly taking a serious turn. I tossed back my glass of champagne and Chaz filled my glass again.

  “My uncles. They expect me to take over the ranch. Quit school, settle down.”

  “You’re nineteen, that’s nuts.”

  “Tell me about it.” He finished the bottle and set it on the table.

  “Surely your mom doesn’t feel the same way. She wants you to go to school.” I leaned back against the sofa. Champagne always made me sleepy.

  “She can’t handle the ranch by herself, she’s overwhelmed. Kelly’s taken over the Hallmark store.” He ran his hands through his hair and rested them on top of his head. “My dad did everything. I helped him but I don’t know how to do it all by myself. The limes will have to be harvested in a couple of weeks and it’s a lot of work. I have term papers, finals…there’s a lot that has to be done.”

  “Can’t your uncles handle the limes?”

  “No, Paige,” Chaz groaned in frustration, like my suggestion was ridiculous. “Uncle Victor owns a restaurant and Uncle Oscar raises cattle, they can’t be expected to handle our ranch too.”

  “So don’t pick the limes this year.”

  “Jesus, Paige, it’s how we make our fucking living!” He went into the kitchen and I heard him opening cupboards. He came back with a bottle of Jack Daniels.

  “I may not know about lime farming,” I began. “But I do know that drinking yourself into oblivion isn’t going to help.”

  He poured the whiskey into a glass tumbler and slammed the bottle down onto the table. He’d been drinking all day, beers during football, wine at dinner, now champagne and whiskey.

  “Fine.” I said rising from the sofa. I wasn’t getting into it with him when he was like this. “Get trashed. That will solve all of your problems.” I stormed into his bedroom and slammed the door. I had never seen Chaz drunk before and I didn’t like it. He was melting down right before my eyes and there was nothing I could do to help him. He was angry and wanted to take it out on someone. Unfortunately, that someone was me. To make matters worse, I was stuck here. Maybe I could ask Kelly to take me home. The room started spinning so I lied down and curled into a ball. I was just starting to doze off when I heard the door open. Chaz crawled onto the bed next to me.

  “Paige?” he whispered.

  “Chaz?” I whispered back.

  “I’m sorry.” He slipped his arms around me. I folded my hands over his.

  “I know.” I was glad my back was to him.

  “I don’t mean to take it out on you, baby. I love you.” He buried his face in my hair. “Every day it’s one more thing they expect me to do. I’m drowning.” His hands reached under my sweater dress, his fingers spreading over my stomach. He began to kiss my neck and I reached up, cupping his cheek.

  “I want to help you. Let me.”

  “Oh God, Paige, I need you,” he shuddered. I had an uncontrollable urge to have him inside me. I rolled on top of him, straddling him as I peeled off my clothes. His hands cautiously rested on my thighs, his sea green eyes searching mine for forgiveness. I slipped out of my bra and panties, tossing them to the side as his hands covered my breasts, kneading, caressing. He knew my body so well, knew exactly what to do to drive me wild for him. I didn’t care that he had been a jerk today. I loved him anyway. I wanted to show him how much.

  I tugged his belt from the loops and he kicked out of his Levis and boxers. A low growl rumbled in his chest as I settled between his legs, my hair softly dragging down his thighs. I slid my lips over his desire, my tongue gliding up and down his hard ridges. He softly moaned, his hands twisting through my hair. I tightened my fingers around his base as my tongue fluttered over the tip. I could feel him pulsing under my tongue and I wanted him to let go for me but he had other plans.

  He sat up and scooted me underneath him, his body covering mine as his tongue thrust into my mouth. I moaned as he reached between my legs, delicately stroking me with his hardness, teasing and tempting as I ached with want beneath him. I reached down for him, guiding him toward me. I thought he would push my hand away, (as he usually did at this point), but he surprised me by pushing into me. I cried out, arching my back as I melted under the force of his thrusts.

  “Oh baby,” he sighed. “You feel so good.” I grasped his biceps as he rocked into me, thrilled that there was no barrier between us. He reached under, grasping my ass as he sank deeper. Deep within, my belly tightened as he took me over the edge, warmth spreading through me as my thighs clenched.

  “Fuck, Paige,” he called out. “I can’t…I can’t stop.” He drew me into him and became a part of me. I locked my legs around him, wanting to stay tangled with him forever. He took my mouth with force as he breathed into me, his hands cradling my face. I could still feel him inside, he was hard and warm and I couldn’t believe that I could ever feel as loved or love someone as much as I did at this moment. He rolled over, pulling me with him. I sprawled across his chest, my head tucked under his warm neck as we gave in to the after-effects of stress, alcohol, and sex.

  I awakened to sunlight and the aroma of coffee. I reached up for Chaz but I was alone. I wrapped the comforter around my body and stood in the doorway. Chaz was in a black robe sitting on the floor, his long tan legs crossed at the ankles, his hands wrapped around a mug of coffee. His back leaned against the sofa, a faraway look in his eyes as he stared into the fire that blazed in the fireplace. He looked lonely and lost. I studied him, quietly observing him in his private thoughts until he noticed me. His eyes lifted to mine and I rubbed my calf with the toes of my opposite foot, nervous from his intense gaze. He offered a weak smile.

  “How are you feeling?” I asked.

  “Numb.”

  “Want a refill?”

  “Please.”

  I took his mug and padded into the kitchen to get coffee for both of us. When I returned, his head was resting back on the seat of the sofa, his eyes closed. I set the mug in his hands and sat on the sofa, curling my legs under and adjusting the comforter around my body.

  “You hungry?” he asked without opening his eyes. “I’m sure there’s a shit load of food in the house.”

  “No, I’m still full from yesterday. Are you hungry?”

  “No.” His eyes slowly opened and he watched me as I raised the coffee mug to my lips. “I’m sorry,” he said.

  “For what?”

  “Yesterday, last night...” He took a sip of coffee. “Drinking too much…”

  “You already apologized last night, Chaz. I think I punished you enough,” I grinned.

  Chaz liked to stay in control, he rarely lost it. The few times he had, he fell into self-loathing. He was so hard on himself and I hated to see him tearing himself down. He rose up and sat next to me. “I was a dick to you,” he whispered and put his arm around me.

  I ran my hand through his soft golden hair, brushing it back from his forehead. “You have a lot going on. You freaked out a little bit. It happens.” I could feel him retreating back into himself, he sat straighter, stiffer, as he stared into the fire.

  “We weren’t thinking last night. We were careless.” He shot a fierce look down to me. “That can’t happen again.”

  “Chaz. For the millionth time, I’m not going to get pregnant.”

  I pulled away from him. My mind drifted off to a place I rarely let it wander anymore, the future. I imagined myself married to Chaz, living here at the ranch, now our ranch, a blond haired boy playing in the fields, a baby girl clinging to my hip as I called Chaz and his son in for dinner, the space shuttle landing on top of us and blowing us all to smithereens. What the
hell?

  I had never entertained the thought of marriage or kids or anything past graduation. In six months I was off to New York, just like Maddie had done when she was my age. That was the plan, my dream ever since I started modeling. Dreams didn’t change, did they? But could I leave Chaz for it? I placed my hand over my belly and wondered what it would feel like to have a life inside of me, a life that Chaz and I had created. My heart raced, I wasn’t supposed to be thinking these kinds of thoughts. Was my biological clock ticking already? Oh God, how do I make it stop?

  “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

  Chaz snapped me out of my thoughts. “Just thinking, about the future I guess.”

  “Is your future that scary?” He took my empty mug and set it on the coffee table.

  I shook my head. “Crazy thoughts. I think I’m still drunk.”

  “Tell me. It’s got to be better than the thoughts in my head.”

  “You have to promise you won’t freak out.” I wrapped my arms around his neck. “It was just a thought, or vision, or something… not at all reality in any sense,” I said firmly.

  “I promise, I won’t freak out. We all get crazy irrational thoughts that flash through our heads. They don’t mean anything right?” He tightened his grip around me. “Like that hot June day I first danced with you in the San Luis Rey Community Center. I wanted to press you up against the wall and make mad passionate love to you.”

  “That’s not an irrational thought. You have pressed me up against walls and made mad passionate love to me.”

  “True. Bad example.” He thought for a moment. “Okay, I have another one. Senior year I thought about calling in a bomb threat so I wouldn’t have to take my physics final. But of course I didn’t do it.”

  “Yeah, but I’m sure someone else did,” I laughed halfheartedly. It became quiet between us as he waited, stroking his thumb over that tender spot of skin between my thumb and index finger. I took a deep breath and began.

  “I imagined what it would feel like to be pregnant…with our baby. Married, living here on the ranch.” I left out the space- shuttle-annihilation part but by the way he reacted you wouldn’t have known.

  He sucked in his breath. “Whoa.”

  “I know. Crazy.”

  “Doesn’t sound so crazy to me.”

  “Chaz, stop it.”

  “Wouldn’t it be nice to know your life was planned out? That you didn’t have to make any decisions and you knew what you were supposed to do? Uncomplicated. Get married, have a couple kids, grow some limes.”

  “All wrapped up with a nice red bow, huh?”

  “Does it sound so bad?”

  It didn’t. But not now. Not yet. There was so much I wanted to accomplish. I was so afraid I would hate myself if I didn’t try to realize my dreams in New York. Chaz was falling, being sucked into the dreams of his father, his uncles. What was his dream? He was so afraid of letting everyone down that he was letting himself down. In a big way.

  “It sounds wonderful,” I smiled up to him. “Someday.”

  “Paige,” Chaz sighed and caressed my cheek, his lips brushing against mine. He lowered onto me, pushing back the comforter like he was opening a gift. He sealed his lips over mine and shrugged out of his robe. He settled between my thighs and pushed into me in quick, deep thrusts. I tore my mouth away from his, turning my head to the side, overwhelmed by how consumed I felt by his passion. All of him was around all of me, in me, covering me. His release was sudden and powerful. Mine came immediately after as he stilled inside me. We clung to each other, our bodies tangled and sweaty.

  Chaz gently shifted himself to the side and caressed my stomach. “Just now, I thought about getting you pregnant,” he whispered.

  Somehow his confession didn’t surprise me. “It’s not going to happen, Chaz.”

  “I know. But I thought about it, your belly, big and swollen, everyone knowing that you were carrying my baby. So sexy.”

  “That doesn’t sound sexy at all.” I shouldn’t have told him what I was thinking earlier. The last thing he needed was encouragement in his white-picket-fence-two-point-two-kids fantasy. And wouldn’t it be our baby?

  Then it hit me, it wasn’t about him wanting a baby at all. It was about claiming me. “…everyone knowing that you were carrying my baby.”

  He took my hand into his and kissed my fingertips. “My ring on your finger, showing that you were my wife,” he yawned.

  “Someday,” I said trying to sound calm but inside I was panicking.

  “Someday,” he sighed and settled his head on my breast. He wrapped his fingers around mine and drifted off. I lazily ran my free hand through his hair. He had such a hard time sleeping. I didn’t want to disturb him though I really wanted nothing more than to take a hot shower…alone. Maybe his crazy ramblings were a result of lack of sleep and post-orgasmic bliss. Maybe once the pressures of the holidays, finals, and the lime harvest were behind him he’d go back to being the fun, carefree, boyfriend I used to have. Maybe.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  “I think Chaz asked me to marry him.”

  Danielle started choking on her Coke. “What?” she gasped and continued to cough. She pressed a napkin to her lips.

  “Take another sip,” I said.

  She sucked on her straw, her eyes watering.

  “Are you okay?” asked Xavier as he leaned into the booth and set down our plates of food. She nodded and continued to gulp soda.

  “She’ll be fine,” I laughed.

  He squeezed her shoulder then rushed away.

  “What the fuck?” she yelled and kicked me under the table. “You don’t start a conversation like that. You say, how was Thanksgiving? Or, did you see the Charger’s game?”

  “Sorry. It just came out.”

  “Speaking of coming,” she grinned. “Was he inside you when he asked you? If so it doesn’t count. You can’t take anything they say seriously when they’re inside you.”

  “Danielle, you’re so, so…”

  “What?” she bit into her sandwich.

  “Clinical.”

  “So how did he pop the question?” she asked, her large brown eyes peeking at me over her sandwich.

  “It wasn’t like a full on proposal. More like a suggestion.” I bit into my hamburger.

  “Go on.”

  “He told his niece we’d be married someday. He was talking about me being pregnant and wearing his wedding ring.”

  “Holy shit!” she yelled. The elderly couple in the adjacent booth looked over at us and frowned. “What did you say? I would have bolted out of there faster than Flo-Jo.”

  “I didn’t know what to say. He’s really stressed out right now, he’s just looking for stability, I guess.”

  “Paige, when I get stressed out I eat an entire tub of Haagan Dazs mint chip, I don’t plan a wedding.” She picked up the bacon that dropped from her sandwich. “And not ever, ever, does a guy Chaz’s age think about marriage or having kids,” she said shaking her bacon at me for emphasis.

  “I know.” I interrupted, crunching on my pickle spear.

  “I think maybe you’re spending too much time together. You need to be less available to him.”

  “Have you been talking to Maddie?”

  “No, why? Is she saying the same thing?”

  “Sort of. I think she doesn’t like that I’m at his place all the time.”

  Xavier sat down another Dr. Pepper in front of me and slid into the booth next to Danielle. “I have ten minutes,” he said and leaned in to kiss her on the cheek.

  “I’ll take it,” she smiled.

  He draped his arm along the back of the booth and she cuddled against him as she fed him French fries. They made a stunning couple with their identical dark hair and eyes. I could tell he adored her and I was so happy for them, that things were working out. She’d had such a toxic relationship with Shane and her crush on Donny would never turn into what she wanted. Talk turned to the show and how w
e couldn’t believe it was coming up next weekend.

  “I hope I don’t screw up,” said Xavier wiping his mouth with a napkin.

  “How could you screw up? You walk Karla down the ramp, you wait for her to walk to the end and walk her back. What’s so hard about that?” asked Danielle.

  “You make it sound so simple.”

  “That’s because it is.” She kissed him quickly on the cheek.

  “Paige, maybe you should try on Karla’s wedding dress,” Danielle chided. “See how it feels. Or maybe Chaz should.”

  “Why would she do that?” asked Xavier. “Moreover, why would he?”

  “Shut it, Danielle.”

  “Paige is getting married,” giggled Danielle. “Can I be your Maid of Honor?”

  “You most certainly can’t. You have no honor.”

  Xavier looked back and forth between us, a confused smile on his lips.

  “She’s just being silly,” I explained and threw her a knock it off glare.

  Xavier kissed her quickly on the lips. “Back to the grind,” he said, sliding out of the booth. “I’ll pick you up around seven?”

  “Hey, we need the check,” I asked.

  “No check. I got it,” he said and leaned his fists onto the table. The cuffs of his crisp white dress shirt were rolled up to just under his elbows. His tan forearms were strong and well-muscled. He was incredibly sexy.

  “You can’t keep covering our checks, Xavier.” I pulled out my wallet.

  “Don’t worry about it,” he grinned and strutted off. I stared after him, his black slacks clinging to his strong thighs.

  “Damn, Danielle, you are one lucky girl.”

  “Don’t I know it. I hope to get even luckier tonight,” she winked.

  “I want details.” I teased.

  “Oh you’ll get them. Play by play.”

  Danielle in love was a beautiful thing. And I really liked Xavier. Plus he was actually able to handle her moods and fiery temper.

  “You two would make beautiful babies,” I winked.