by Nicole Casey
If that’s the way she wants it. We’ll go to her. Now that we have her in our sights.
The music was a constant techno beat. And the people, most with their heads up and eyes closed, bobbed and swayed and flailed their arms to the beat. I kept my eyes on Gwen as we eased our way through the cluster of oblivious dancers. She, in turn, slipped behind a wall of people and out of sight.
Manny tapped me on the shoulder. He motioned for me to take the left. He tapped Santiago on the shoulder and motioned for him to take the right. We fanned out. She thought she was being sly, but she would not slip through our net.
The place was pitch black with a strobe light flashing intermittently to the beat every few seconds. In one instance, I saw Gwen to my right a few feet away. She saw me too and smiled mischievously. The room went dark again. A moment later, the strobe light flashed, and she appeared farther away—farther away from me, but closer to Taylor. This time, it was I who smiled mischievously.
As the strobe light accelerated, Gwen drifted closer and closer to Manny. She saw him and made her way back from where she’d come.
Now, Gwen drifted closer and closer to J.P.
She saw him and darted her eyes in all directions. The room went dark again; impossible to say which direction she’d gone; but also impossible that she’d get away.
When the strobe light flashed again, I saw she was arms’ length from Nolan. He didn’t grab her. He smiled and stood his ground.
Gwen went left.
The strobe light flashed, and she was now at arm’s length from Taylor. He didn’t grab her. He smiled and stood his ground.
Gwen backed up. With each flash of the strobe light, she was closer to the wall, and we were closer to her. She turned left then right. Eventually, she turned right smack into Axel. He smiled at her, stuck out his arms and trapped her. She looked around frantically but then conceded. She smiled back at Axel and gave him a hug.
7
Gwen
In the dark, surrounded by bodies bumping into me, I made my way to the back of the club. With the help of the strobe light, I spotted the men. They were easy to spot. It wasn’t just the high and tight haircuts; those were quite common in San Diego. It wasn’t that they were all tall and muscular and good looking; that, too, was common in San Diego. But there was something else about them that made them stand out in the crowd, even in a dark crowd. They all looked different, but they all had that same focused look about them, like they were on a mission, which they were. Like they had a target in mind, which they did.
Their focus and their mission was me. I was prey being stalked, hunted and cornered. And it was exhilarating!
The loud thumping music and the dark and the heat of so many bodies crammed together further fueled the excitement of the game. Once they set their eyes on me, once they started to make their approach, the adrenaline kicked in and coursed through my body. By the time they’d reached me, I was near the boiling point. I thought I was going to grab them, either to fight or fuck, or both.
I smacked right into Axel. I turned to run, but I was trapped. I did grab him, but only to give him a hug. He must have thought I was crazy. I hardly knew him, but I threw myself in his arms and had him hold me until the mix of fear and panic I’d been toying with ran its course and I could calm down.
Before things got too weird, I pulled myself, reluctantly, out of his arms. ‘How amazing that would be,’ I thought, ‘to be afraid for real then be safe in his strong embrace.’
“What took you so long?” I said to him. But the music was too loud. He said, “What?” I shook my head and waved a hand dismissively.
The ten of us had a drink. We tried to dance, but the place was too packed. We tried to talk, but the place was too loud.
I suggested we leave, find a place more suitable for conversation. Once we were outside, I suggested my place.
I only lived two blocks away, so I convinced myself I wasn’t taking the guys home with me; we were simply leaving the dancefloor to step into the lounge. But as soon as we entered my apartment, the reality was too stark; I couldn’t fool myself any longer. We weren’t in the lounge but at my home. It didn’t help that I asked them to take off their shoes before entering. That pretty much killed the illusion.
“We’re in luck,” I said. “There usually isn’t any alcohol here, but Holly’s client just gave her two bottles of vodka.” I took out ten glasses and lined them up on the counter that separated the kitchen from the living room. “She won’t mind.”
“Of course, she won’t,” said Santiago, in case I needed any encouragement, which I didn’t.
“After all,” I said, “it’s for a good cause.” I winked at them then I poured us each a healthily dosed drink.
The men stood in the living room trying to act casual. “Make yourselves at home.” I handed out the drinks.
“Is that another way of saying ‘get undressed’?” said Taylor.
I frowned. “Is that what you do when you’re at home?”
“Actually,” said Elijah, “lately, we’ve been lounging around, talking about you.”
“Fascinating,” I said, and I plopped myself down on the couch between Axel and J.P.
“It’s a bit bright in here, don’t you think?” said Santiago.
I pointed to the wall behind him. “Turn off the lights and turn on the desk lamp over there.”
He didn’t move. “Are you giving me orders?”
“Aren’t you Marines used to that?”
Santiago set his drink down on the coffee table. “Some of us take orders, and some of us give orders.”
“And which one are you?”
He put his hands on his hips. “Tonight, we’re giving orders.”
“In my house?”
Elijah slipped behind him and switched off the lights. Santiago glanced over his shoulder then back at me.
“And the desk lamp,” I said to Elijah.
Elijah didn’t go to the desk. Instead, he joined Santiago in the center of the room. He stood beside him, struck a similar pose and stared at me.
I turned to Axel. I put a hand on his knee. “Should I be afraid?”
He put his arm around me. “You’re safe with me.”
I believed him. I scouched closer to him and laid my head on his shoulder.
“I order you,” said Santiago, “to give Axel a kiss.”
“I’m not taking orders,” I said. I shifted in the couch, put my legs up onto Manny’s lap and laid back so that I was lying across Axel and my head rested on the armrest. “Axel, dear, I think you need to tell your boys to stand down.”
“Your boys?” said Elijah.
I looked at him. “That’s a good point. Who is the leader anyway?”
“We don’t have a leader,” said Santiago. “There’s no hierarchy among us.”
“Hmm. I guess that makes me the leader, then.” I said.
My feet dangled off the side of the couch. But Nolan took a seat on the armrest and put my feet on his lap.
“Thank you, Nolan,” I said. “And while you’re there, you can give me a foot massage.” I looked at Santiago. “That’s not an order but a request.”
“I can do requests,” said Nolan. He worked his strong hands, kneading my feet like hardening clay.
All my muscles, from the tips of my toes to the back of my neck, loosened. I let out a soft murmur. “Mmm, that feels great.”
“Any request for me, dear?” said Axel.
“You can work my shoulders,” I said. “And also, don’t call me dear.”
“And I’ll work your legs,” said J.P.
Axel shifted so that I was leaning against his chest. He dug his fingers into my back between the shoulder blades. It was slightly painful, but I didn’t complain.
J.P. ran his hands down my calves to my ankles. He squeezed then ran the balls of his palms up my leg.
I shifted onto my side. It was slightly uncomfortable as I was in a sort of V shape, my hips on the couch while my legs
resting on J.P.’s lap and my upper body resting against Axel.
“Where’s Manny?” I said.
“Over here?” he said. But I couldn’t see unless I got up from the couch, which I was not going to do.
“I can’t see you,” I said.
He stepped in front of Axel.
“There’s a place for you on the couch,” I said. “In between J.P. and Axel.”
J.P. set my ankles onto his bicep. He slid a hand onto my butt and lifted me up. “Squeeze in,” he said to Manny. Then he set me down and my hips now rested on Manny’s lap.
“Mmm,” I said. “That’s much better.”
I shut my eyes and felt hands, too numerous to count, exploring my body. Someone was unbuttoning my shirt. I didn’t open my eyes to see who it was.
I reached out, and my right hand fell onto a chiseled jaw while my left hand fell onto a broad shoulder. I slid my hand around to the back of the nameless head and pulled him to me, lifting my chest to meet him all the more quickly.
Light kisses dotted my neck down to my heaving breasts. ‘Tear off my bra,’ I thought. But I was too relaxed to get my mouth to open and speak.
A hand started to unbutton my pants. I reached down and slapped it then felt the hand slide down back to my thigh. I arched my head back. My lips brushed against Axel’s jaw. I wet my lips and kissed him greedily, nipping, trying to pull him toward me so I could kiss his mouth.
Axel obliged.
He took my chin in his hand and put his mouth to mine. His tongue ran against mine.
I spread my legs and rocked my hips to the motion of his exploring tongue.
The hand returned and started to unbutton my pants again. This time I did not slap it away. I felt Manny’s long hard cock pressed against the small of my back.
My pants were pulled down, and the hand slid down my hips into my wet snatch.
I pulled myself free from Axel’s embrace and let out a gasp then a moan as two fingers slid into my panties and ran along then inside my labia.
I kicked, but someone, probably Nolan, grabbed my foot. He pulled it to him against his thigh. Then he shifted and my foot pressed against his hard cock.
“Take it out,” I said.
Immediately, the fingers left my wet pussy.
“No, not the fingers,” I said. “Your cock.”
I’d meant to address Nolan, but I’d given no name to the command. Still, Nolan complied, as did Manny and Axel, and who else, I could not tell.
“And take off my socks.”
Immediately, my socks were pulled off. My bare foot was brought against the warm flesh of Nolan’s throbbing member.
I reached out and touched Manny on the cheek. Then I slid my hand down his chest and onto his crotch. I wrapped his hard cock in my hands. I stroked him in rhythm to how Nolan was moving my foot against his shaft.
I moaned. I arched my head back.
Axel kissed me.
My bra was pulled down and a mouth wrapped around my breast. A tongue flicked my hard nipple.
Axel pulled away.
“No,” I murmured.
Axel kissed me again.
I spread my leg. I kicked my free leg out, and it hit a chest but was quickly grabbed.
My panties were pulled to the side, and my wet snatch, liberated, met the cool air. But only for a brief moment as a mouth closed in around it. A tongue slid in-between my lips and lapped greedily.
I quivered.
I let go of Manny’s cock, reached up and grabbed at his chest. My fingers tried to dig in but he was hard as rock. My other hand grabbed the underside of the couch. I squeezed, let out a long moan when I came.
The release was intense. Immediately, I was snapped from the ecstasy. I rolled off the couch and fell to the floor.
“Are you OK?” said Axel.
I pulled up my pants.
Axel slid his hands under my arms and tried to pull me up.
“No,” said. “Just let me lie here a minute.”
That minute turned into two then into three. They offered to help me up. They asked if I needed a glass of water. I assured the boys I was fine. I just needed to lie on the ground a minute.
I became aware, for the first time, of the alcohol I had consumed. Eventually, I pulled myself off the floor. I adjusted my bra and buttoned up my shirt.
Taylor and Travis were standing in front of me, or I was seeing double. Both were possible.
“Wow,” I said. I straightened my shirt and straightened my hair. “That was intense.”
“How are you feeling?” asked Taylor.
“Drunk,” I said.
I didn’t mean to imply that I’d had too much to drink or that I wasn’t in control. What I meant is that I felt intoxicated, I felt relaxed and giddy.
Still the guys took my comment as a cue to leave.
“We’d better call it a night then,” said Axel.
“Why?” I said.
He kissed me on the cheek. “We had a great time.”
Taylor gave me a kiss on the other cheek. “Amazing,” he said.
I wanted them to stay, but I didn’t insist. I saw them to the door. They gave me each a kiss on the cheek and thanked me for a fun evening.
Then I dragged myself to my bed, collapsed and fell fast asleep.
I had to wait two days before Holly returned from her trip to Colorado. I had so much to tell her, so much she wouldn’t believe. I could hardly believe it myself. I almost didn’t recognize the person I’d become. And, truth be told, I kind of liked it.
I got home from work and Holly was in the kitchen preparing food. “Hi, Holly. How was Colorado?”
“Great,” she said. “God, I love the mountains. Something about—” She stopped midway through her sentence, set the knife down on the cutting board and looked at me, bewildered. “What happened?”
I looked around like I’d missed something. “What do you mean, ‘What happened?’”
“Don’t play coy with me.” She walked around the counter to join me in the living room. “Something happened. It’s written all over your face.”
I touched my face. It felt the same.
“What’s his name?” she asked. “Is it one of the Marines? Is it Manny?”
I stared at her dumbfounded. “Wow. Really? Are you psychic or something?”
“Maybe,” she said in all seriousness. “Now, start talking.”
I took in a deep breath then told her everything that had happened over the last few days. Holly nodded and threw in an ‘oh, my’ occasionally.
“...and then I got home and learned my roommate is psychic.” I finished my story and let out an exhausted breath.
“Wow.”
“Wow? Is that all you have to say?”
She extended an index finger vertically. “Hold on a second. I’m processing.”
I, too, was processing. I felt a strong attraction to Axel. But I also felt strongly attracted to Taylor, and Manny, and Nolan. I was strongly attracted to them all. “Could it be true?” I said. “Are they really that strong of a unit that I could be attracted to them all with equal force?”
Holly put her hands in the air in a show of surrender. “What can I say? I don’t know. It seems like the student has surpassed the teacher.”
I chuckled. “I just don’t know how I’m going to be able to choose.”
Holly tilted her head and raised an eyebrow. “Why do you have to choose?”
8
Axel
Given our upcoming deployment, training had intensified, and with it, our time off was cut down considerably. Texting back and forth with Gwen was fun, but, at the same time, it increased the frustration I was feeling: frustration in not being able to see her more often and frustration in the feeling that we were on the verge of something great but not able to take it to the next level. I wasn’t the only one who felt that way; we all did. We knew we had something special; it was just out of reach, but then every now and again we’d touch it. It was real, but a height
ened fantasy at the same time. It was ours, but also evasive. That added to the trill, sure. But it also added to the frustration.
The only one of our squad who didn’t feel the same way—at least I was getting the sense that he might be feeling differently—was Tristan.
“It’s too good to be true,” he said, but in a tone that resembled defeat.
“Since when have you been such a cynic?” I asked.
He didn’t answer, but he didn’t need to. I could see in his eyes that I had triggered something: a memory, perhaps, a secret. Tristan had been hurt; I didn’t know the specifics, but I knew that he was more guarded than the rest of us. I could respect that. I’d just hoped that now, with Gwen, he could share in our enthusiasm.
What I felt for Tristan was equally true for me, too. Why can’t I just accept that something great is happening to me? Why do I always look for the cloud beyond the silver lining?
“We know that bad things happen,” I said. I was talking to Tristan, but also to myself. “But sometimes good things happen, too. Why can’t this be an instance when something really good is happening? Why can’t we accept it? Why do we have to fight it?”
He excused himself under the guise of needing to do some ironing.
I was no good at giving pep talks.
Taylor, who’d been standing off to the side, not saying a word, approached me. “I’ll talk to him,” he said.
I’d triggered something in Tristan. I didn’t ask for any clarification. There was nothing among us that we didn’t share, that included our secrets and our pain. But I understood that some people needed more time. Tristan was especially sensitive. If he needed more time to open up, I could give him more time.
It had been five days since I last saw Gwen: an eternity. I couldn’t wait till the weekend, till my next night off. After morning exercises, we had a three-hour break. While the others took the opportunity to run overdue errands and have lunch, I, instead, jogged down to The Bean Counter, hoping Gwen would be there.