by Sofia Grey
She ran her fingers through his hair and down his neck. Christ, this felt good. Even better than he remembered. She moaned, and he felt the vibration through his lips. The small sound ignited something deep inside him, a confidence he’d all but buried, and awareness flooded his veins like liquid electricity.
“Let’s eat later.” His voice was hoarse, and he wasn’t sure if she understood him, but her kiss told him otherwise.
Lucas needed to feel her skin. He skimmed her shoulders with his hands and felt her shrug out of whatever she had on. Soft, wispy fabric trailed across his palms.
“I’ve taken off my cardigan”—Natalie caught his hands and placed them on her shoulders—“so you can see if you like the dress I’m wearing.”
He trusted her.
With his fingertips, he explored the V-shaped neckline and the heated, smooth skin beneath. He found a button in the center, and then another, and a whole line of them.
“It buttons down the front?” he asked.
“I thought you might like to undo me.”
If his heart raced any faster, it would explode. He forced himself to breathe. “God, yes. Describe it for me.”
His deft fingers made light work of the first button, and Natalie’s breath hitched. “It’s dark blue, with little swirls of a lighter color all across it.”
“And buttons?” He popped open a second and then a third.
“Yes.” She was breathless. “Little pearl buttons all the—” She gasped when he freed the next button and slid his fingers beneath the soft fabric.
He found the curve of her breast and paused. “Go on,” he whispered.
“Mon dieu.” Her breasts heaved against his palm, and he cupped the soft curves, learning them by touch. Her bra was soft and silky, with a patch of lacework.
“Oh my. Buttons all down the front.” Natalie dug her hands into his hair again, her nails lightly scraping his head, and he sank into the pleasure.
“What color is your bra?”
“Shell pink.”
“Mmm.” He dispensed with another button. He had to be close to her stomach by now. “Possibly my favorite color now.” He dropped his head, trailed a series of kisses down her throat, and paused at the fluttering hollow at the base of her neck. “Keep going,” he murmured, and slipped another button through its hole.
*
Natalie was painfully aware that, any moment now, Lucas would find more of her scarring. Her chest was crisscrossed with ugly raised lines he couldn’t miss.
As he kissed his way down her front, she tensed, and he paused in his meandering. “Am I going too fast?”
Her cheeks burned. “No. It’s just…” Her voice deserted her. I’m ugly.
His hands stilled on the buttons, and she wanted to kick herself. Why did she have to draw attention to it? Now she was all tangled up inside, and Lucas was backing off. She let out a frustrated breath.
“Natalie.” She felt his whisper on her ribs. “Talk to me.”
It was impossible to tell him how she felt, so she resorted to the same thing she’d done in the park. She caught one of his hands and placed it flat on her sternum. “This.”
Standing there in his kitchen, the dress hanging from her shoulders, Natalie felt as vulnerable as she’d ever been. She couldn’t take her eyes off Lucas. She braced herself for his rejection.
His forehead crinkled, as though he was concentrating hard. Slowly, his touch as light as a butterfly wing, he traced the raised lines on her skin with his fingertip. It tickled, and she squirmed.
“These are your battle scars.” He pressed a kiss on her clavicle. “You’ve looked death in the face and beaten him.” Another kiss, on the upper curve of her breast. “Your courage makes you even more beautiful.” An open-mouthed kiss at the top of her stomach. “Your strength humbles me.”
Tears sprang to her eyes, and she tried to blink them away. What had she ever done to deserve Lucas? And would she be able to bear going home in the morning? “I’m standing half-naked in your kitchen.”
His lips moved to her jaw, every kiss a demonstration of his tenderness. “And that’s a problem, because…?”
“I think your bed would be more comfortable.”
Chapter Eighteen
“I’m going to switch off the light and close the curtains.”
Lucas paused at Natalie’s words, and released her when she squeezed his hand.
“I want to level the playing field. Share the darkness with you,” she said.
His heart constricted. “You don’t need to do that.” He stumbled over the words.
“No, but I want to.” The curtains rattled on their pole, and the lights clicked off. The last faint strip of light disappeared. Natalie blew out a breath and took a step, catching his arm. “Wow. It’s darker than I thought.”
“Come here.” He pulled her into his arms. “Are you sure about this?” It would kill him if she said no, but he had to be sure.
“You mean the lights being out?”
He buried his nose in her soft hair and inhaled the floral fragrance. “Nope. Guess again.”
“You mean sleeping with you.” She looped her arms around his neck. “Never more sure of anything.”
His lips found her throat, her skin as soft as a peach. “Would you think me presumptuous if I said I bought condoms today? Just in case.”
She giggled. “I did too. Does that make me presumptuous?”
“It makes you perfect.” Lucas hadn’t been involved with anyone since he split with Alice, and that was nearly two years ago. Disgracing himself was a very real possibility, so he vowed to take it slow. They just had the one night together, and he wanted to hold on to as many good memories as possible.
He took his time opening the remaining buttons, his fingers whispering across each piece of new skin he found. Kisses trailed in their wake, and he paid careful attention to what made her sigh and what made her tremble. He felt the dress fall to the floor, a soft wisp of fabric that puddled around his feet. Heat poured from her body, and he slid his hands up her sides, to cup her breasts. He was sure her underwear was pretty, but he ached to have her naked.
The bra clasp was easy to open, but he still didn’t hurry. Instead, he slipped the straps down one at a time, dropping little kisses over her shoulders. Her breath hitched when the bra fell away and he finally uncovered her breasts. They were small and pert, much as he imagined, her nipples firm little buds that swelled when he brushed them with his thumbs.
This drew a moan, and he dropped his head and took one nipple into his mouth. He groaned at the honeyed taste—sweet and luscious and uniquely Natalie—and then again when she dug her fingers into his hair.
“Lucas,” she whispered. She tugged at the fastening on his slacks and attacked the buttons of his shirt. “I need you. Please don’t make me wait.”
Slow and tender flew out the window, as urgency took over. It had been so long, and Lucas wasn’t just hungry; he was starved. Natalie’s words were the key that unlocked his self-imposed prison. He didn’t need his sight for this.
*
Natalie had never wanted anyone as much as she wanted Lucas. Desire pulsed through her in a raging torrent. There’d be nothing left of her when they finished, and she relished the thought. From the moment he cupped her cheeks with his hands and kissed her into a state of giddy delight, to her lying down with him on his bed, Natalie had never felt so alive. So viscerally aware of every sensation. Every touch. Every kiss and hot breath on her skin.
She heard the rattle of a drawer, then the noise of cardboard ripping, and then foil. The condom. Why had she been nervous? This couldn’t feel more right.
He stroked through her wetness, gliding and teasing her. Each touch broke her apart, and each kiss put her back together, stronger than before.
She squirmed on the bed and moaned his name, desperate to feel him inside her. Her breasts ached, and her chest was tight with emotion. Still he held back, but his kisses were more urgent, and his
breathing was as ragged as her own.
“Now, Lucas. Please.”
He knelt over her, nudged her legs open wider, and then pushed inside with the blunt head of his cock. He paused and sucked in a rapid breath. “God, Natalie. You feel incredible.”
She lifted her hips, and he slid deep inside in one slow movement. So many sensations bombarded her, she felt dizzy. Pleasure redefined itself, and the world shifted on its axis.
Natalie had always been passive with her previous lovers. Now, for the first time, she felt wild. Uncontrolled. A forest fire burning up. She pulled at Lucas, ran her fingers through his hair, drew her nails down his spine, and showed him with every breath just what he was doing to her.
Flesh slapped against heated flesh, and Natalie loved every moment. She found Lucas’s hands and tangled their fingers. Another part of their bodies joined together.
His steady rhythm faltered, became urgent, and he pounded into her, every thrust creating another pleasure point. She spiraled higher. He surrounded her, caging her body, claiming her lips, driving her to insanity.
When she came, it was with a drawn-out wail, moments before he cried her name and shuddered inside her.
They lay together afterward, Natalie drawing lazy circles on his chest with her fingertip, while he nuzzled her hair. She needed to say something, but couldn’t find the words. How could she describe the way he made her feel? ‘Satisfied’ was too weak. ‘Sated’ was too clinical. Complete. That summed it up.
“What time do you have to leave in the morning?” His soft question was an unwelcome reminder of how little time they had together.
“I’m on a seven-thirty flight back to Auckland, so I need to be at the airport around seven.”
Neither of them had talked about what happened next, and Natalie waited to see if he’d bring it up. She couldn’t bear to spoil things with worry about their future. Tonight she would live in the moment. Tomorrow would take care of itself.
*
Lucas didn’t sleep much. He didn’t want to waste a minute of his night with Natalie. Lying there with her dozing in his arms was the closest thing he could imagine to Heaven. In his wildest imagination, he’d never dared to think he could have this level of intimacy—be so connected to someone. It was as though Natalie had crawled under his skin and taken up residence inside his chest. It’d never been like this before. Not with Alice or his previous lovers.
He tried to rationalize his feelings. Was his euphoria simply a reaction to having sex again after two years of celibacy?
No. Natalie was special.
The idea scared and excited him at the same time. Having made love to her, he knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that he couldn’t leave her. Whether she’d be foolish enough to throw away her life on him was another matter entirely.
Chapter Nineteen
Natalie thought she had a good handle on everything as she settled back at her desk. First day back at work since her surgery, but she’d kept an eye on her e-mails while she’d been away, and had caught up with some of her colleagues at the conference. There should be no surprises.
Remembering the conference led her right back to Lucas, as if she’d been able to think of anything else. It had been the perfect weekend and the best night of her life.
Their tender goodbye when she left his apartment had brought tears to her eyes. She’d watched him through the cab window until the cab turned the corner and he was lost from sight. He’d offered to go to the airport with her, but the idea of an emotional goodbye in public was more than she could cope with.
As to what would happen next, she’d no idea. They hadn’t made plans beyond another weekend together at some point, and now she was kicking herself for leaving it so vague. Not seeing him again was unthinkable. Was there any way she could transfer to the Wellington office? They didn’t have such a large sales team there, but it was worth making enquiries.
Grand-mére would be here in a few weeks, and Natalie knew she and Lucas would hit it off. Who could fail to love Lucas?
Caution settled on her shoulders. One weekend didn’t make a relationship. But they’d been friends for months. She brushed her cares away, fired up her laptop, and connected to the network.
The first message that popped up was from Lucas.
Lucas: missing you already x
“Natalie.”
She swung around in her chair to see Trev, one of the other account managers. He was a huge gossip, and she fumbled to minimize the chat screen before he saw it.
“Didn’t see you at the closing party last night,” he said.
She fought to keep the blush from her cheeks. Failed. “No. I had other plans.”
“Didn’t see you on the flight this morning either.”
She’d seen him. “I was on the seven-thirty, same as you. I caught a ride to the office with Clare and Tina.”
“Oh, right.” He perched on the edge of her desk. “Good to have you back, by the way. Shame about Bryce, though.”
Her annoyance at his sitting so close had to be quashed. “What about Bryce?”
Trev quirked his eyebrows. “Oops. Maybe I’ve spoken out of turn, but I thought you’d be keeping up with the news—you know—while you were incapacitated.”
“I was having surgery on my ankle, Trev, not my brain. I wasn’t told about any issues. What have you heard?”
He jerked his thumb at her screen, at the minimized chat window with Lucas. “Maybe you should ask him. It was his fuckup.”
Natalie glanced at her screen. He had to be talking about Lucas. Before she could ask anything more, he’d answered his phone and was walking away.
She reopened the chat window but hesitated over the keyboard.
Natalie: Missing you too. Just had a weird convo with Trev. Is something going on with Bryce?
Her question hung undelivered, and she realized Lucas was currently offline. There were always rumors of their biggest customers going elsewhere, and it would be typical of Trev to hear something innocuous and blow it up into something else entirely. She’d have a better picture when she’d gone through all her e-mails.
*
Lucas wavered between a state of blissed-out chill and encroaching panic, whenever he thought about Natalie. About their weekend together. About their future.
Was it possible that he might have a future with her?
He’d be completely blind soon. Totally dependent.
And so was her grandmother. Natalie was used to living with blind relatives. She didn’t treat him as though he was handicapped.
Surely she could do better? She was beautiful, inside and out. She deserved someone whole.
She said she wanted Lucas.
The thought of her with another man made him want to beat his head against the desk. The thought of her throwing away her future on him made his chest tight.
They couldn’t have children. There was no risk of passing down his defect to a child, since he wasn’t a carrier, but it wouldn’t be fair to Natalie when he wasn’t able to be a proper father. Would Natalie want a family? They hadn’t talked about that. The ache in his chest eased a little when he thought about everything else they had talked about, all the things and loves they shared.
Before he could change his mind, he sent her a chat message, and then tried to focus on his job.
He was partway through reviewing a backorder listing, when he heard someone walk up to his desk. “Lucas.” It was Sian. “Do you have a few minutes, please? Mark Ellidge wants to speak to you. In his office.” She cleared her throat. “I can walk you there, if you like.”
Lucas knew where Mark’s office was. What he didn’t know was why the Branch Manager wanted to speak to him. “I’m good, thanks.” He stood and reached down for Molly’s harness. “Any idea why he wants to see me?”
“I don’t know. Dave’s in there at the moment. Maybe he’s summoning everyone.”
He found his way to the manager’s office without mishap, and knocked on the closed door.
Seconds later, it was opened.
“Lucas, come in. There’s a seat right here.” The manager grabbed his elbow and all but dragged him forward. Lucas’s knee bumped into a chair frame. God damn it, he hated when someone assumed that was what he wanted. This was his boss though, and Lucas had to be polite. Biting down his sharp retort, he sat, and made sure Molly was settled next to him.
The door closed again, and Mark brushed past him, to return to his desk. “Right.” His voice boomed out. “Dave’s here with us, Lucas, and Verity from HR. We need to talk to you.”
Well they hadn’t invited him here to have a dance. Lucas forced a pleasant tone to his voice. “I’m visually impaired, Mark, not deaf. You don’t need to shout.”
Silence greeted his words. Why have a Human Resources rep? Was he in trouble? Or was Dave?
“This is a difficult situation for all of us.” Verity had a sharp edge to her voice, and that put Lucas on his guard right away. “There’s no need to be worried, but we’d like to take the time to see how you are coping.”
Coping? With what? It had to be his disability.
“The modified equipment I use is working just fine.” He didn’t want to sound ungrateful, so he added, “Thank you.”
“That’s good to know,” said Verity, “but I didn’t mean the equipment, per se.”
His blindness in general? Lucas was at a loss how to reply. He ran his tongue over dry lips. “What do you mean?”
“Your workload.”
Lucas worked the same number of hours as everyone else. He took the same breaks. His sick-leave record was better than several of his colleagues’. He scratched the back of his neck and tried to decide how to reply. “Is there a problem?”
“I’m afraid so.” Mark’s voice was still overly loud. “I’ll get to the point. We’ve lost a major account, and we’re following the audit trail to determine why.” He gave a short cough. “We’re trying to find out why they’ve gone elsewhere.”