What if this wasn’t real?
What if Rafe didn’t feel the same way?
What if his holiday came to an end and he simply said goodbye and she never saw him again?
An answer to the disturbing whispers came as their shifts ended and Mika found Rafe waiting for her outside the back door of the café.
‘Time for a swim?’
‘Oh...yes. I can’t wait.’
‘Neither can I.’ Rafe held out his hand. ‘Let’s go.’
Maybe it was the way he took her hand, as if it was the most natural thing in the world to do. Or maybe it was his smile or the expression in his eyes. Whatever it was, it made Mika’s fear evaporate.
If Rafe vanished from her life without a backward glance, she would have this for ever.
The knowledge that it was possible to feel like this.
As if life was perfect and only this moment mattered. That was what she needed to hold onto. This moment.
The future would happen, and it wasn’t something she could control in the same way she had been controlling her life, because she had, for the first time in so long, chosen to open herself to being vulnerable. To allow someone else to hold the gift of her heart and her happiness.
CHAPTER SEVEN
THERE WAS NO race out to the pontoon today.
It was tempting to stay close to the rock wall, in fact, with the music from the bar right above them—to simply float in the deliciously cool water and play like other young couples always did here—but it felt too public. As if what they had discovered with each other was too new and special to be on display just yet. It only took a shared glance for that suggestion and agreement to be made and Mika had no idea whether it had been her idea or Rafe’s. Not that it mattered.
They swam side by side this time, and their hands touched the side of the pontoon at the same moment. Their bodies bumped together as they sank into being upright, and Mika let go of the pontoon to wrap her arms around Rafe’s neck and her legs around his waist as she lifted her face for the first kiss since last night.
For an instant, she was aware of a tiny hesitation on Rafe’s part and the dip in that emotional rollercoaster was so fierce it felt like she was leaving her stomach behind as she fell. But then his lips softened on hers and she felt his legs move to keep them both afloat as he let go of the pontoon to wrap his arms around her. It was only a matter of time before the water washed over the top of their heads and they had to surface to breathe, but who knew that kissing under water could be so amazing?
The sea was Mika’s ultimate comfort zone. To be in that space, with the added magic that being in love seemed to bestow on everything, made that fraction of time something that she knew she would remember for ever. This would be the moment that she could return to if she ever lost sight of how perfect life could be. This total embrace of the cool water that made the heat of Rafe’s skin against hers so intense. How safe it made her feel to be within the circle of his arms. The blinding heat of passion that licked her whole body from just the touch of his lips and tongue.
It lasted for ever, but it was over in a moment, and ended with a tangle of limbs, some frantic kicking to get back to the surface and a lot of laughter as they both hauled themselves up to sit on the solid planks of the pontoon. Again, by tacit consent, they sat quietly to watch the sunset with Mika’s head against Rafe’s shoulder and his arm draped loosely over hers, his fingers covering her tattoo.
The sunset was as gorgeous as ever but Mika closed her eyes after a minute or two because she wanted to bask in this feeling of such astonishing closeness. It was hard to pinpoint where her body ended and Rafe’s started—as if they were two parts of one being. How had she not known that she had been missing another part of herself? That she had never felt complete?
It was the movement of Rafe’s fingers on her arm that finally distracted her. Purposeful movement of just a single finger that was tracing the peaks and troughs of the inked design.
‘It’s the sea, isn’t it?’
‘Yes. It’s a Maori design. The sea—and the land—have a huge spiritual significance in Maori culture.’
‘I get that. I come from a country of islands, too. The sea is everything.’
Mika’s breath caught. Rafe never talked about where he came from. Or anything else about his past. The only thing she really knew was that he’d been left without parents early in his life—as she had. This was the start, then, of finding out about this man she had fallen in love with.
‘What islands? Where are they?’
‘Out there...’ Rafe tilted his chin towards the expanse of the Mediterranean, now gilded rose-pink by the rays of the sun. He was silent for a long moment and then his words were so quiet Mika barely heard them. ‘They’re named after the creatures they’re famous for. Les Iles Dauphins.’
‘No way...’ Mika sat up straight so that she could turn her head to stare at Rafe. His arm fell away from her shoulder and the connection between their bodies was broken.
He stared back at her, an oddly wary expression in his eyes, and weirdly Mika felt a chill run down her spine. She swallowed hard.
‘How did I not know that a place like that existed?’ Her fingers had gone to the charm around her neck. ‘Why didn’t you tell me before?’
That wariness was still there but it was softened as Rafe offered an apologetic smile. ‘I guess it didn’t seem important. I’m here. And you’re here. Maybe I’m just living in the moment.’
Which was exactly what Mika had decided she needed to do. But questions were bubbling to the surface now and she couldn’t hold them back.
‘How far away are your islands? Do you live there now? How many dolphins are there?’
* * *
The curiosity in Mika’s eyes was enchanting as her questions tumbled out like those of an excited child.
The moment of dread, when he had been sure she knew about his homeland and had suddenly made the connection and knew who he was, was evaporating.
He had taken the first step towards being really honest with her and it felt good. If he was gentle in the way he carried on, perhaps they could get to a place that would make their inevitable parting less painful.
He took a deep breath as he smiled back at her. ‘They’re not so far away but they’re isolated enough to stay under the radar of the more usual tourist haunts. They’re known as a tax haven. There’s a thriving industry building luxury yachts. And the waters are a dolphin sanctuary. And, yes, I do live there now but I was away for quite a long time to go to school and university.’
‘What did you study at university?’
‘Oh...history. Politics. Environmental things...’
Mika’s breath came out in a huff. ‘Good grief...are you going to be a politician when you grow up?’ She shook her head. ‘I don’t even know how old you are, Rafe.’
‘I’m thirty-two.’
‘Do you have a job?’
It was time to back off. ‘I’m kind of between jobs right now. I wanted to try something different.’ He’d had no idea, had he, of just how different that something was going to turn out to be?
Mika was grinning now. ‘How’s that working out for you, then?’
‘I’m loving it.’
‘But you’re not going to be washing dishes when you go home, are you?’
‘No.’
‘What will you be doing?’
‘Too many things, I expect.’ He could feel the weight of those duties pressing in on him. The politics. The pomp and ceremony. The lack of personal space and choices. The sense of duty that would be ever-present...
The clock was ticking loudly now. This time was precious. He would never have anything like it, ever again.
Mika frowned. ‘Are you a politician already?’
Raoul l
aughed. ‘No...why?’
‘Because you’re so good at not giving a straight answer to a question.’
It really was time to distract Mika and there was a sure-fire way to do exactly that. By kissing her.
Or maybe he had wanted to distract himself. To remind himself of this extraordinary connection to another person that he had discovered and what it was teaching him about himself. That he wanted to buy a little more time simply to experience this.
Lost in the sheer pleasure of Mika’s response, it was a surprise to find how brightly the lights of the bar on shore were shining. It told them how late it was getting but Raoul stole one more kiss. And then he held Mika’s face between his hands.
‘I don’t want to think about my next job right now,’ he said softly. ‘Can’t we just have this time? Just for us?’
Despite the fading light, he saw the shadow that clouded Mika’s eyes. But he also saw determination and a smile that made light of any misgivings she might have.
‘Okay. But will you answer one more question? Honestly?’
Raoul’s heart skipped a beat. ‘I would never lie to you, Mika.’
But he had already, hadn’t he?
No. He just hadn’t told her everything. But what if her next question was the one that ruined this moment? He wasn’t ready for that. Not yet.
These memories would have to last him for ever. Surely one more night with Mika wasn’t too much to ask for?
That curiosity was still lighting up her face and it was encased in a warmth that made him feel like he could tell her anything and she would accept it. Would forgive him, even. It was a risk but, in that moment, he felt safe enough to take it.
‘One question,’ he managed. ‘Go for it.’
But Mika’s face scrunched into thoughtful lines. ‘Can I have one question tomorrow, too?’
He had to laugh. ‘That’s your question?’
‘Oh, no...’ Mika was laughing too. ‘That’s not fair. It’s not a real question.’
‘Why not?’
‘Because it’s not about you...’
There was something shy in her eyes. She was asking to be allowed closer but not quite sure if that was something he wanted. Raoul felt a tiny pang, as if a hairline crack had just appeared in his heart.
‘Okay. We won’t count that question. And, yes, you can have another one tomorrow.’
‘And one the day after that?’
Oh...how tempting was that? The idea of more days. And nights. Of more hours than he could count just to be with her like this...
Mika was nodding as though he’d already agreed to the plan. And she was smiling.
‘In that case, I have my last question for today.’
‘What is it?’
‘Whose turn is it to buy dinner?’
* * *
The trouble with questions was that one was never enough.
One question could open a door but then you stepped through it and it seemed like you were in a corridor with more and more doors stretching ahead of you.
Even deciding on that one question was tricky. One minute Mika would know for sure what she was going to ask next, but then she would come up with the potential answer she might get and she would see all those new doors. And she wasn’t at all sure she wanted to open them.
Like, if she asked whether he would be going home to his magical-sounding islands as soon as his holiday ended.
It didn’t make any difference whether his answer would be positive or negative because there were other doors that might change her life completely if she walked through them.
Like the one that might open if she asked if he wanted her to go with him...
It was too soon to open a door like that. What if the answer was no? That would break the bubble they had found themselves in now and Mika couldn’t bear to do that. She had never been this happy.
Rafe hadn’t moved back to his own room. Last night, when they’d caught the bus back to Positano after the swim she would always remember for that underwater kiss, he’d stopped when they’d found a pharmacy that was still open. They’d both been a little embarrassed by the purchase of condoms but Mika had been secretly thrilled. The love-making wasn’t about to stop.
The fact that she was so happy about that was unbelievable. Was it only a couple of weeks ago that she had been so sure she would never let another man that close to her again? Her life had changed and her future was looking completely different.
Better.
Okay, they’d taken a stupid risk last night, but the moment had been too intense to think about something as premeditated as contraception and the odds were fortunately low enough for both of them to ignore, apparently. Well, not entirely ignore, because they’d had one of those silent conversations that had taken all of a heartbeat the moment that Rafe had picked up the box in the pharmacy and his gaze had met hers.
Is it too late?
It was a safe time, I’m sure of it.
Are you sure? You’d tell me, wouldn’t you? If...
Yes, of course I’d tell you. Stop worrying... I’m sure...
She was sure but continuing that risk was definitely unacceptable. Mika hadn’t yet found the place she would be content to call home. Getting pregnant would bring her journey to a grinding halt. Worse than that, it might scare Rafe so much that he would vanish from her life—the way her own father had. She would probably have to retreat to a place where life was familiar enough not to present extra challenges and that place was half a world away from where she was now.
With Rafe.
She watched as he paid for his purchase. Seeing his profile reminded her of that photo she’d taken the first evening they’d gone swimming together. Shifting her gaze, she took note of the printing machine in the corner of the pharmacy. She could pop in here with her camera card on a break from work and nobody would notice. How good would it be to have a copy of that photo that she could hold in her hand? A small, private thing to treasure.
One day, she would confess and check that he didn’t mind, but that was an insignificant question compared to so many others.
So many questions that piled up in a corner because it was too hard to put them in an order of priority and appropriate times to ask were few and far between. There was never a chance to ask a meaningful question while they were at work together and, lying in his arms at night, random conversation was the last thing that came to mind.
This place—in this particular part of the world, with Rafe—was too good for Mika to want to risk changing a thing. In the end, she actually forgot to ask a personal question that day in the precious time between work and bed.
And she decided not to the day after that. Rafe seemed happy to be taking a day at a time—just for them—so maybe she needed to do that, too.
And it was enough for a few days. More than enough. This was a healing time for Mika and every day she felt safer as a little bit more of her protective shell crumbled and fell away. There were no tears in the wake of love-making now. She was becoming more playful and often there was teasing and laughter that added something completely new. Rafe was not only the most amazing lover she had ever found but he was her best friend as well.
The sense of something so solid between them made those doors far less daunting. So much so that there came a point, when a personal question came out so casually, it felt as natural as taking hold of Rafe’s hand whenever they walked somewhere, like to the beach or home from work.
‘What did you do?’ she asked. ‘In your last job?’
‘I was a helicopter pilot.’
Mika’s jaw dropped. His answer had come so automatically she knew he wasn’t kidding but it was the last thing she had expected him to say. As far-fetched as him being an astronaut, perhaps. Or a brain surgeon.
�
�A commercial pilot?’
‘No. I was with the military. We ran a rescue service as well.’
‘Did you save people?’ Mika smiled as she shook her head. ‘Silly question. Of course you did. You’ve saved me twice already—it’s second nature for you, isn’t it?’
‘I wouldn’t say that.’
‘Will you go back to a job like that?’
‘No.’
‘Why not?’
‘I have another job waiting for me. That’s why I needed a break. I wasn’t sure how ready for it I am.’ He squeezed Mika’s hand. ‘Are we going for a swim today?’
‘Are you trying to change the subject?’
The discomfort in his glance confirmed her suspicion and Mika felt a chill run down her spine. What was he hiding? She hated the sudden tension that seemed to increase the heat of the late-afternoon sun enveloping them.
Her mouth simply ran away with her next question.
‘You’re not married, are you?’
‘No.’ Her hand was jerked as Rafe stopped in his tracks.
‘Have you been in jail recently?’
His breath came out in an incredulous huff. ‘No.’ But he was smiling as he tugged her into his arms and silenced her with a kiss. ‘Enough questions, already...’
Mika could feel both the need to ask anything and that odd chill of premonition evaporating in the wake of his kiss.
‘Okay...but I get to ask another question tomorrow.’
‘Maybe.’
‘You can’t say that. You agreed.’
‘Not exactly. And, even if I did, there’s a problem with that arrangement.’
‘Which is?’
Rafe’s smile widened into a grin. ‘You can’t count.’
They started walking again and a welcome puff of a sea breeze lessened the heat around them. Or maybe it was that the tension had been blown away.
Mika’s lips quirked. ‘How many times will you make love to me tonight, Rafe?’
‘One.’
She glanced up to catch his gaze and they both laughed.
The Forbidden Prince Page 10