Well then, I’ve no idea how old I am. Do you know?
HORNBY
Not exactly.
DEBORAH
Why not?
Pause.
My sisters would know. We’re very close. We love each other. We’re known as the three bluebells.
Pause.
Why is everything so quiet? So still? I’m in a sandbag. The sea. Is that what I hear? A long way away. Gulls. Haven’t heard a gull for ages. God what a racket. Where’s Pauline? She’s such a mischief. I have to keep telling her not to be so witty. That’s what I say. You’re too witty for your own good. You’re so sharp you’ll cut yourself. You’re too witty for your own tongue. You’ll bite your own tongue off one of these days and I’ll keep your tongue in a closed jar and you’ll never ever ever ever be witty again.
Pause.
She’s all right, really. She just talks too much. Whereas Estelle is as deep as a pond. She’s marvellous at crossing her legs. Sen-su-al.
Pause.
This is a hotel. A hotel near the sea. Hastings? Torquay? There’s more to this than meets the eye. I’m coming to that conclusion. There’s something very shady about you. Pauline always says I’ll end up as part of the White Slave Traffic.
Pause.
Yes. This is a white tent. When I open the flap I’ll step out into the Sahara Desert.
HORNBY
You’ve been asleep.
DEBORAH
Oh, you keep saying that! What’s wrong with that? Why shouldn’t I have a long sleep for a change? I need it. My body demands it. It’s quite natural. I may have overslept but I didn’t do it deliberately. If I had any choice in the matter I’d much prefer to be up and about. I love the morning. Why do you blame me? I was simply obeying the law of the body.
HORNBY
I know that. I’m not blaming you.
DEBORAH
Well, how long have I been asleep?
Pause.
HORNBY
You have been asleep for twenty-nine years.
Silence.
DEBORAH
You mean I’m dead?
HORNBY
No.
DEBORAH
I don’t feel dead.
HORNBY
You’re not.
DEBORAH
But you mean I’ve been dead?
HORNBY
If you had been dead you wouldn’t be alive now.
DEBORAH
Are you sure?
HORNBY
No one wakes from the dead.
DEBORAH
No, I shouldn’t think so.
Pause.
Well, what was I doing if I wasn’t dead?
HORNBY
We don’t know … what you were doing.
DEBORAH
We?
Pause.
Where’s my mother? My father? Estelle? Pauline?
HORNBY
Pauline is here. She’s waiting to see you.
DEBORAH
She shouldn’t be out at this time of night. I’m always telling her. She needs her beauty sleep. Like I do, by the way. But of course I’m her elder sister so she doesn’t listen to me. And Estelle doesn’t listen to me because she’s my elder sister. That’s family life. And Jack? Where’s Jack? Where’s my boyfriend? He’s my boyfriend. He loves me. He loves me. I once saw him cry. For love. Don’t make him cry again. What have you done to him? What have you done with him? What? What? What?
HORNBY
Be calm. Don’t agitate yourself.
DEBORAH
Agitate myself?
HORNBY
There’s no hurry about any of this.
DEBORAH
Any of what?
HORNBY
Be calm.
DEBORAH
I am calm.
Pause.
I’ve obviously committed a criminal offence and am now in prison. I’m quite prepared to face up to the facts. But what offence? I can’t imagine what offence it could be. I mean one that would bring … such a terrible sentence.
HORNBY
This is not a prison. You have committed no offence.
DEBORAH
But what have I done? What have I been doing? Where have I been?
HORNBY
Do you remember nothing of where you’ve been? Do you remember nothing … of all that has happened to you?
DEBORAH
Nothing has happened to me. I’ve been nowhere.
Silence.
HORNBY
I think we should –
DEBORAH
I certainly don’t want to see Pauline. People don’t want to see their sisters. They’re only their sisters. They’re so witty. All I hear is chump chump. The side teeth. Eating everything in sight. Gold chocolate. So greedy eat it with the paper on. Munch all the ratshit on the sideboard. Someone has to polish it off. Been there for years. Statues of excrement. Wrapped in gold. I’ve never got used to it. Sisters are diabolical. Brothers are worse. One day I prayed I would see no one ever again, none of them ever again. All that eating, all that wit.
Pause.
HORNBY
I didn’t know you had any brothers.
DEBORAH
What?
Pause.
HORNBY
Come. Rest. Tomorrow … is another day.
DEBORAH
No it isn’t. No it isn’t. It is not!
She smiles.
Yes, of course it is. Of course it is. Tomorrow is another day. I’d love to ask you a question.
HORNBY
Are you not tired?
DEBORAH
Tired? Not at all. I’m wide awake. Don’t you think so?
HORNBY
What is the question?
DEBORAH
How did you wake me up?
Pause.
Or did you not wake me up? Did I just wake up myself? All by myself? Or did you wake me with a magic wand?
HORNBY
I woke you with an injection.
DEBORAH
Lovely injection. Oh how I love it. And am I beautiful?
HORNBY
Certainly.
DEBORAH
And you are my Prince Charming. Aren’t you?
Pause.
Oh speak up.
Pause.
Silly shit. All men are alike.
Pause.
I think I love you.
HORNBY
No, you don’t.
DEBORAH
Well, I’m not spoilt for choice here, am I? There’s not another man in sight. What have you done with all the others? There’s a boy called Peter. We play with his trains, we play … Cowboys and Indians … I’m a tomboy. I knock him about. But that was …
Pause.
But now I’ve got all the world before me. All life before me. All my life before me.
Pause.
I’ve had enough of this. Find Jack. I’ll say yes. We’ll have kids. I’ll bake apples. I’m ready for it. No point in hanging about. Best foot forward. Mummy’s motto. Bit of a cheek, I think, Mummy not coming in to say hullo, to say good night, to tuck me up, to sing me a song, to warn me about going too far with boys. Daddy I love but he is a bit absent-minded. Thinking of other things. That’s what Pauline says. She says he has a mistress in Fulham. The bitch. I mean Pauline. And she’s only … thirteen. I keep telling her I’m not prepared to tolerate her risible, her tendentious, her eclectic, her ornate, her rococo insinuations and garbled inventions. I tell her that every day of the week.
Pause.
Daddy is kind and so is Mummy. We all have breakfast together every morning in the kitchen. What’s happening?
Pause.
HORNBY
One day suddenly you stopped.
DEBORAH
Stopped?
HORNBY
Yes.
Pause.
You fell asleep and no one could wake you. But although I use the word sleep, it was not strictly sleep.
&n
bsp; DEBORAH
Oh, make up your mind!
Pause.
You mean you thought I was asleep but I was actually awake?
HORNBY
Neither asleep nor awake.
DEBORAH
Was I dreaming?
HORNBY
Were you?
DEBORAH
Well was I? I don’t know.
Pause.
I’m not terribly pleased about all this. I’m going to ask a few questions in a few minutes. One of them might be: What did I look like while I was asleep, or while I was awake, or whatever it was I was? Bet you can’t tell me.
HORNBY
You were quite still. Fixed. Most of the time.
DEBORAH
Show me.
Pause.
Show me what I looked like.
He demonstrates a still, fixed position.
She studies him. She laughs, stops abruptly.
Most of the time? What about the rest of the time?
HORNBY
You were taken for walks twice a week. We encouraged your legs to move.
Pause.
At other times you would suddenly move of your own volition very quickly, very quickly indeed, spasmodically, for short periods, and as suddenly as you began you would stop.
Pause.
DEBORAH
Did you ever see … tears … well in my eyes?
HORNBY
No.
DEBORAH
And when I laughed … did you laugh with me?
HORNBY
You never laughed.
DEBORAH
Of course I laughed. I have a laughing nature.
Pause.
Right. I’ll get up now.
He moves to her.
No! Don’t! Don’t be ridiculous.
She eases herself out of the bed, stands, falls. He moves to her.
No! Don’t! Don’t! Don’t! Don’t touch me.
She stands, very slowly. He retreats, watching.
She stands still, begins to walk, in slow motion, towards him.
Let us dance.
She dances, by herself, in slow motion.
I dance.
She dances.
I’ve kept in practice, you know. I’ve been dancing in very narrow spaces. Kept stubbing my toes and bumping my head. Like Alice. Shall I sit here? I shall sit here.
She sits at the table. He joins her.
She touches the arms of her chair, touches the table, examines the table.
I like tables, don’t you? This is a rather beautiful table. Any chance of a dry sherry?
HORNBY
Not yet. Soon we’ll have a party for you.
DEBORAH
A party? For me? How nice. Lots of cakes and lots of booze?
HORNBY
That’s right.
DEBORAH
How nice.
Pause.
Well, it’s nice at this table. What’s the news? I suppose the war’s still over?
HORNBY
It’s over, yes.
DEBORAH
Oh good. They haven’t started another one?
HORNBY
No.
DEBORAH
Oh good.
Pause.
HORNBY
You danced in narrow spaces?
DEBORAH
Oh yes. The most crushing spaces. The most punishing spaces. That was tough going. Very difficult. Like dancing with someone dancing on your foot all the time, I mean all the time, on the same spot, just slam, slam, a big boot on your foot, not the most ideal kind of dancing, not by a long chalk. But sometimes the space opened and became light, sometimes it opened and I was so light, and when you feel so light you can dance till dawn and I danced till dawn night after night, night after night … for a time … I think … until …
She has become aware of the figure of PAULINE, standing in the room. She stares at her.
PAULINE is a woman in her early forties.
PAULINE
Deborah.
DEBORAH stares at her.
Deborah. It’s Pauline.
PAULINE turns to HORNBY.
She’s looking at me.
She turns back to DEBORAH.
You’re looking at me. Oh Deborah … you haven’t looked at me … for such a long time.
Pause.
I’m your sister. Do you know me?
DEBORAH laughs shortly and turns away.
HORNBY stands and goes to PAULINE.
HORNBY
I didn’t call you.
PAULINE regards him.
Well, all right. Speak to her.
PAULINE
What shall I say?
HORNBY
Just talk to her.
PAULINE
Doesn’t it matter what I say?
HORNBY
No.
PAULINE
I can’t do her harm?
HORNBY
No.
PAULINE
Shall I tell her lies or the truth?
HORNBY
Both.
Pause.
PAULINE
You’re trembling.
HORNBY
Am I?
PAULINE
Your hand.
HORNBY
Is it?
He looks at his hand.
Trembling? Is it? Yes.
PAULINE goes to DEBORAH, sits with her at the table.
PAULINE
Debby. I’ve spoken to the family. Everyone was so happy. I spoke to them all, in turn. They’re away, you see. They’re on a world cruise. They deserve it. It’s been so hard for them. And Daddy’s not too well, although in many respects he’s as fit as a fiddle, and Mummy … It’s a wonderful trip. They passed through the Indian Ocean. And the Bay of Bosphorus. Can you imagine? Estelle also … needed a total break. It’s a wonderful trip. Quite honestly, it’s the trip of a lifetime. They’ve stopped off in Bangkok. That’s where I found them. I spoke to them all, in turn. And they all send so much love to you. Especially Mummy.
Pause.
I spoke by radio telephone. Shore to ship. The captain’s cabin. Such excitement.
Pause.
Tell me. Do you … remember me?
DEBORAH stands and walks to her bed, in slow motion.
Very slowly she gets into the bed.
She lies against the pillow, closes her eyes.
She opens her eyes, looks at PAULINE, beckons to her.
PAULINE goes to the bed.
DEBORAH
Let me look into your eyes.
She looks deeply into PAULINE’s eyes.
So you say you’re my sister?
PAULINE
I am.
DEBORAH
Well, you’ve changed. A great deal. You’ve aged … substantially. What happened to you?
DEBORAH turns to HORNBY.
What happened to her? Was it a sudden shock? I know shocks can age people overnight. Someone told me.
She turns to PAULINE.
Is that what happened to you? Did a sudden shock age you overnight?
PAULINE
No it was you –
PAULINE looks at HORNBY. He looks back at her, impassive, PAULINE turns back to DEBORAH.
It was you. You were standing with a vase of flowers in your hands. You were about to put it down on the table. But you didn’t put it down. You stood still, with the vase in your hands, as if you were … fixed. I was with you, in the room. I looked into your eyes.
Pause.
I said: ‘Debby?’
Pause.
But you remained … quite … still. I touched you. I said: ‘Debby?’ Your eyes were open. You were looking nowhere. Then you suddenly looked at me and saw me and smiled at me and put the vase down on the table.
Pause.
But at the end of dinner, we were all laughing and talking, and Daddy was making jokes and making us laugh, and you said you couldn’t see him properly because of t
he flowers in the middle of the table, where you had put them, and you stood and picked up the vase and you took it towards that little sidetable by the window, walnut, and Mummy was laughing and even Estelle was laughing and then we suddenly looked at you and you had stopped. You were standing with the vase by the sidetable, you were about to put it down, your arm was stretched towards it but you had stopped.
Pause.
We went to you. We spoke to you. Mummy touched you. She spoke to you.
Pause.
Then Daddy tried to take the vase from you. He could not … wrench it from your hands. He could not … move you from the spot. Like … marble.
Pause.
You were sixteen.
DEBORAH turns to HORNBY.
DEBORAH
She must be an aunt I never met. One of those distant cousins.
(To PAULINE:) Have you left me money in your Will? Well, I could do with it.
PAULINE
I’m Pauline.
DEBORAH
Well, if you’re Pauline you’ve put on a remarkable amount of weight in a very short space of time. I can see you’re not keeping up with your ballet classes. My God! You’ve grown breasts!
DEBORAH stares at PAULINE’s breasts and suddenly looks down at herself.
PAULINE
We’re women.
DEBORAH
Women?
HORNBY
You’re a grown woman, Deborah.
DEBORAH (to PAULINE:)
Is Estelle going to marry that ginger boy from Townley Street?
HORNBY
Deborah. Listen. You’re not listening.
DEBORAH
To what?
HORNBY
To what your sister has been saying.
DEBORAH (to PAULINE:)
Are you my sister?
PAULINE
Yes. Yes.
DEBORAH
But where did you get those breasts?
PAULINE
They came about.
DEBORAH looks down at herself.
DEBORAH
I’m slimmer. Aren’t I?
PAULINE
Yes.
DEBORAH
Yes. I’m slimmer.
Pause.
I’m going to run into the sea and fall into the waves. I’m going to rummage about in all the water.
Pause.
Are we going out to dinner tonight?
Pause.
Where’s Jack? Tongue-tied as usual. He’s too shy for his own good. and Pauline’s so sharp she’ll cut herself. And Estelle’s such a flibbertigibbet. I think she should marry that ginger boy from Townley Street and settle down before it’s too late.
Pause.
PAULINE
I am a widow.
DEBORAH
This woman is mad.
HORNBY
No. She’s not.
Pause.
She has been coming to see you regularly … for a long time. She has suffered for you. She has never forsaken you. Nor have I.
Harold Pinter Page 8