A
You’ll find they’re a true friend to you, umbrellas.
Pause.
Maybe I’ll buy one.
Pause.
A
Don’t come to me. It would be like tearing my heart out, to part with any of mine.
Pause.
B
You find them handy, eh?
Pause.
A
Yes … Oh, yes. When it’s raining, particularly.
Blackout.
GOD’S DISTRICT
God’s District was first presented as part of the revue Then Again at the Lyric Hammersmith in March 1997, directed by Neil Bartlett. It was performed by Dawn French.
WOMAN
I’m here in Putney to save souls. And let me tell you something. I haven’t met one soul in Putney that doesn’t need saving, that isn’t crying out to be saved. And that goes for Shepherd’s Bush also and also for that vast ruined hinterland of nothingness just to the left of Wandsworth Bridge, facing south. So my district may seem to you a pretty big district. Well, it is a big district. It’s God’s district. And that’s the biggest district there is.
I was born and raised in North Carolina and I’m proud of it. But I’m a happy woman today because yesterday someone took me to a place called Hammersmith. Well, I took one quick look at Hammersmith and I could see straight away that nobody and I mean nobody and I mean not one soul, needed saving in Hammersmith. People were walking around Hammersmith with great big smiles on their faces and those smiles were the smiles of salvation. So one of my brethren has clearly been here before me and I feel true joy in that fact.
I think London is going to be easy. Brazil was another story. Brazil was bad. All these Indians had all these savage rituals, blowing pipes all day and night, that kind of thing, singing songs to their dead, driving everybody crazy. All these pipe-blowing rituals – we couldn’t get a wink of honest sleep. Also there was a lot of sex going on, freewheeling sex, young girls walking about stark naked, just because their great-grandmothers did the same thing and their great-grandmothers before them. And as for the boys! So what kind of tradition is that? Nudity? What kind of tradition is that? Well, we had to be quite strict, pretty firm, quite stern, but we taught them true faith in the end, all right. No more pipe-blowing, thank you very much. No more pipe-blowing of any kind. Anyway I don’t anticipate any such problems in Putney, and – as I said – Hammersmith is clean.
But I want to make one thing very clear. Nothing I’ve said should lead you to believe that God was (or is) American. He wasn’t (and isn’t). He was (and is) some kind of Greek or something. But Jesus was definitely born in North Carolina.
I want to feel your love, your love, your love, I want to feel your love, I want to feel your love. Give it to me. Come on. Give it to me. I said give it to me.
APART FROM THAT
CHARACTERS
GENE
LAKE
Apart from That was first performed by Harold Pinter and Antonia Fraser at The Inner Temple, London, at a charity event in aid of Patrick Pakenham Scholarships for young ex-offenders, on 11 May 2006. The sketch was broadcast on BBC Radio 3 on 12 May 2006.
Two people talking on mobile phones,
GENE
How are you?
LAKE
Very well. And you? Are you well?
GENE
I’m terribly well. How about you?
LAKE
Really well. I’m really well.
GENE
I’m so glad.
LAKE
Apart from … oh you know …
GENE
I know.
LAKE
Apart from … oh you know …
GENE
I do know. But apart from that …?
LAKE
How about you?
GENE
Oh you know … all things considered …
LAKE
I know. But apart from that …?
Silence.
GENE
Sorry. I’ve lost you.
LAKE
What do you mean?
GENE
I lost you.
LAKE
No you didn’t. I’m right here. Where I was.
GENE
Anyway, where were we?
LAKE
Sorry?
Pause.
GENE
I mean apart from all that, how are you really?
LAKE
Terribly well.
GENE
Well you certainly sound well.
LAKE
I am. Apart from … oh you know …
GENE
Yes. I know.
LAKE
But you’re well anyway.
GENE
I’m wonderfully well, to be honest.
LAKE
I’m really glad.
GENE
Apart from … you know …
LAKE
But apart from that?
Silence.
GENE
What?
LAKE
Apart from that, how are you really? Apart from that?
About the Author
Harold Pinter was born in London in 1930. He lived with Antonia Fraser from 1975 and they married in 1980. In 1995 he won the David Cohen British Literature Prize, awarded for a lifetime’s achievement in literature. In 1996 he was given the Laurence Olivier Award for a lifetime’s achievement in theatre. In 2002 he was made a Companion of Honour for services to literature. In 2005 he was awarded the Nobel Prize for Literature and, in the same year, the Wilfred Owen Award for Poetry and the Franz Kafka Award (Prague). In 2006 he was awarded the Europe Theatre Prize and, in 2007, the highest French honour, the Légion d’honneur. He died in December 2008.
By the Same Author
plays
ASHES TO ASHES
BETRAYAL
THE BIRTHDAY PARTY
THE CARETAKER
CELEBRATION AND THE ROOM
THE COLLECTION AND THE LOVER
THE HOMECOMING
THE HOTHOUSE
LANDSCAPE AND SILENCE
MOUNTAIN LANGUAGE
MOONLIGHT
NO MAN’S LAND
OLD TIMES
ONE FOR THE ROAD
OTHER PLACES
(A Kind of Alaska, Victoria Station, Family Voices)
PARTY TIME
REMEMBRANCE OF THINGS PAST (with Di Trevis)
THE ROOM AND THE DUMB WAITER
A SLIGHT ACHE AND OTHER PLAYS
TEA PARTY AND OTHER PLAYS
PLAYS ONE
(The Birthday Party, The Room, The Dumb Waiter, A Slight Ache, The Hothouse, A Night Out, The Black and White, The Examination)
PLAYS TWO
(The Caretaker, The Dwarfs, The Collection, The Lover, Night School, Trouble in the Works, The Black and White, Request Stop, Last to Go, Special Offer)
PLAYS THREE
(The Homecoming, Tea Party, The Basement, Landscape, Silence, Night, That’s Your Trouble, That’s All, Applicant, Interview, Dialogue for Three, Tea Party (short story), Old Times, No Man’s Land)
PLAYS FOUR
(Betrayal, Monologue, One for the Road, Mountain Language, Family Voices, A Kind of Alaska, Victoria Station, Precisely, The New World Order, Party Time, Moonlight, Ashes to Ashes, Celebration, Umbrellas, God’s District, Apart from That)
screenplays
HAROLD PINTER COLLECTED SCREENPLAYS ONE
(The Servant, The Pumpkin Eater, The Quiller Memorandum, Accident, The Last Tycoon, Langrishe, Go Down)
HAROLD PINTER COLLECTED SCREENPLAYS TWO
(The Go-Between, The Proust Screenplay, Victory, Turtle Diary, Reunion)
HAROLD PINTER COLLECTED SCREENPLAYS THREE
(The French Lieutenant’s Woman, The Heat of the Day, The Comfort of Strangers, The Trial, The Dreaming Child)
prose, poetry and politics
COLLECTED POEMS AND PROSE
THE DWARFS (a novel)
100 POEMS BY 100 POETS (an anthology)
99 POEMS IN TRANSLATION (an anthology)
VARIOUS VOICES: PROSE, POETRY, POLITICS 1948–1998
VARIOUS VOICES: PROSE, POETRY, POLITICS 1948–2005
WAR
Copyright
This collection first published in 1993
by Faber and Faber Ltd
Bloomsbury House
74–77 Great Russell Street
London WC1B 3DA
Reissued as Harold Pinter: Plays Four in 1996
Expanded edition (including Moonlight and Ashes to Ashes) first published in 1998
Second expanded edition (including Celebration) first published in 2005
Third expanded edition (including Three Sketches) first published in 2011
This ebook edition first published in 2013
Betrayal first published by Eyre Methuen Ltd in 1978, revised in 1980
Monologue first published in limited edition only in 1973
Family Voices first published by Next Editions in 1981
One for the Road first published by Methuen London Ltd in 1984
A Kind of Alaska first published by Methuen London Ltd in 1982
Victoria Station first published by Methuen London Ltd in 1982
Mountain Language first published by Faber and Faber Ltd in 1988
Precisely first published in The Big One by Methuen London Ltd in 1984
The New World Order first published in Granta, no. 37, in Autumn 1991
Party Time first published by Faber and Faber Ltd in 1991
Moonlight first published by Faber and Faber Ltd in 1993
Ashes to Ashes first published by Faber and Faber Ltd in 1996
Celebration first published by Faber and Faber Ltd in 2000
Umbrellas, God’s District, Apart from That first published by Faber and Faber Ltd in 2011
All rights reserved
Betrayal © FPinter Limited, 1980
Monologue © FPinter Limited, 1973
Family Voices © Fraser52 Limited, 1981
A Kind of Alaska © Fraser52 Limited, 1982
One for the Road © Fraser52 Limited, 1984
Victoria Station © Fraser52 Limited, 1982
Mountain Language © Fraser52 Limited, 1988
Party Time © Fraser52 Limited, 1991
Precisely and The New World Order © Fraser52 Limited, 1993
Moonlight © Fraser52 Limited, 1993
Ashes to Ashes © Fraser52 Limited, 1996
Celebration © Fraser52 Limited, 2000
Umbrellas, God’s District, Apart from That © Fraser52 Limited, 2011
Introduction © Fraser52 Limited, 1995
The right of Harold Pinter to be identified as author of these works has been asserted in accordance with Section 77 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988
All rights whatsoever in these plays are strictly reserved and applications for performance, etc. should be made in writing, before rehearsals begin, to Judy Daish Associates Limited, 2 St Charles Place, London W10 6EG. The amateur rights in these plays are held by Samuel French Ltd and amateur applications for permission to perform these plays must be made in advance, before rehearsals begin, to Samuel French Ltd, 52 Fitzroy Street, London W1T 5JR. No performance may be given without a licence first being obtained.
This ebook is copyright material and must not be copied, reproduced, transferred, distributed, leased, licensed or publicly performed or used in any way except as specifically permitted in writing by the publishers, as allowed under the terms and conditions under which it was purchased or as strictly permitted by applicable copyright law. Any unauthorised distribution or use of this text may be a direct infringement of the author’s and publisher’s rights, and those responsible may be liable in law accordingly
ISBN 978–0–571–30141–6
Harold Pinter Page 22