She looked back as Andrew led her around the side of the motel, and then up a path into the rising hills. With the neon blocked from sight, the brush was dark. None of the other rooms were lighted. This was a ghost town. More: it wasn’t even a town.
They reached the hilltop ten minutes later. The crescent had set, leaving the sky black. The hills were barely visible, their spark lights almost all extinguished.
Andrew shook out the blanket.
“Lay down.”
Chloe did. Andrew laid beside her. She met his eyes in the darkness.
“Now,” he said, “look up.”
Chloe turned her head. Her breath left her. She rolled onto her back.
They could see the stars. Even through the continental lattice overhead, out here they could see the stars.
Without looking away from the sky, she found Andrew's hand and clasped it in hers.
“Andrew?”
“Yes?”
“You hurt me. You hurt me so badly, I can barely stand to think about it.”
“I know.” He sighed beside her. “And I’m so sorry.”
“But I forgive you.”
His head turned to look at her. She couldn’t see his expression. He looked back up. “Why?”
“Because that’s what love does.”
His hand slid beneath Chloe’s chin. She turned her head and faced Andrew in the dark, seeing nothing more than the outline of his presence.
“I love you, Chloe. That’s what this has all been for. That’s what it’s all been about.”
“I love you, too.”
A kiss.
And another.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Now it was just them. Chloe and Andrew. They couldn’t even fully see each other. Andrew was a shape, a scent of skin, a taste on her lips. The brush of gentle fingers. The opposite of overload. And because of it, Chloe yearned for more. More touch. More of his lips.
She couldn’t see Andrew, she couldn’t read him. She couldn’t intuit beyond the shadows and the tiny sounds of his movements.
She was blind in every way — and because of it, Chloe didn’t know what Andrew was feeling. Except that — somehow — she still did.
His fingertips on her cheek, the curve of her neck into her shoulder.
His voice: “You’re shivering.”
“I’m cold.”
He moved closer. His body warmth against hers.
The cold wasn’t making her shiver. It was the unknown. The unknown of the moment, the unknown of the future.
The unknown of this unknowable second in eternity.
“You’re still shivering, Chloe. Is anything wrong?”
Quiet. Tentative: “No. Nothing’s wrong.”
His hands on her shirt buttons. Her shirt open. His hands on her breasts, reaching around to unhook her bra.
Chloe lifted her legs. Slid off her own skirt and panties, suddenly frantic to shed both. Andrew rolled to wrap the spread blanket over them.
She was naked. Innocent.
A new person, nude and vulnerable under Andrew’s hands.
“Are you okay, Chloe?”
“Yes.”
“You’re sure?”
“Please,” Chloe said, leaning in to kiss the hollow under Andrew’s chin. The sentence was a single word long, but she knew he’d understand.
His hands across her naked skin, renewing her.
His fingers touching sensitive places below, between her legs, making her whole again.
“I want you with me,” she said.
“I’m here. I’m with you.”
“I want you inside me, Andrew.”
Her hands shedding his. Her hands opening his still-bloodied shirt, tossing it away. Their clothes were skin from another life. They were no longer those people. In this moment, they in their rolled blanket were two caterpillars in the same chrysalis, becoming something newer. More beautiful.
Chloe’s hand on Andrew’s cock, hard and solid. Warm with his heartbeat. She was empty without it. Without him.
“I love you,” he said.
“I love you,” she echoed.
Andrew rolled Chloe onto her back. He was nothing but a shape in the darkness. His legs gently nudged hers apart. He lowered his chest to hers. He slid himself inside her, making her moan.
“I didn’t mean to—” he began.
“You didn’t."
“I didn’t want to—”
“Shh. Those were other people. That was someone else. Two idiots who didn’t know any better.”
Andrew’s cock filled her.
Chloe’s eyes closed.
In the darkness, there was no difference between them.
“I’m scared.”
Andrew didn’t ask what of. Because of course, he was scared, too.
“I’ll be with you.”
“I don’t know what tomorrow will bring.”
“It doesn’t matter,” Andrew promised.
Smooth movements, in and out. Sensation building like nothing before.
“We can’t just live out here. We can’t just vanish.”
“We can do whatever we want.”
“But—”
He kissed her lips to quiet her.
Still her fears.
Banish them into the dark.
Chloe’s legs parted further, inviting him inside. Her hands wrapped around his back, feeling his cool flesh where the air had kissed it. She moved her hands lower, pulling him inside. Holding him. Making them one.
Her mouth opened. A slow helpless gasp was all that escaped. Chloe was now fighting to speak. “She said I was important.”
“You are. To me.”
“More than that. To—”
“There is nothing more, Chloe. Me. You. That’s all there is.”
His tempo increased. A bloom of warmth spread out, covering Chloe’s skin, every fiber of her alive.
He was right, she realized. There was no more.
They were two people alone in the dark.
Nothing and everything.
She could feel it. Something. Out there.
It wasn’t the network. It was something else.
Chloe closed her eyes as she came, as Andrew came with her.
For several seconds, she was weightless. Her soul spun out into the cosmos, untethered, entirely new.
She’d taught The Beam connection. She’d taught it love.
But the universe, all around them, already knew.
CHAPTER NINE
Chloe’s mobile rang. Surprised, she picked it up.
Only after she’d put it to her face did her brain register the strange thing her eyes had seen: that the call appeared to be coming from herself.
“Chloe? Are you there?”
The connection was intermittent and staticky. It sounded as if somewhere between the digital city center and her digital device, some gum-jawed hillbilly had boosted the signal using a HAM radio with a coat hanger for an antenna.
“Who is this?”
“It’s Brad.”
Chloe closed her eyes. Her breath left her. It wasn’t the real Brad, of course. She could tell by the familiarity in his voice that this was her Brad — her porter, now left behind on The Beam. Had it only been yesterday when she’d talked to him last? It felt like another life. Which, she suspected, it now was.
“Brad.” Chloe could only say his name. A curious mix of emotions had settled upon her like fine dust dropped from above.
Was she sad? Nostalgic? Afraid for herself or even afraid for her holographic friend? She had no idea.
“Don’t tell me where you are. I am fairly sure this line is safe, but I’d rather not take unnecessary risks.”
Chloe frowned. The implications were clear. “You know what happened?”
“When the esteemed Mr. White cut your network connections, he … insulated … your place somehow. Even though my canvas terminal was still in the kitchen, I couldn’t move within the apartment. But I was able to watch from outside the w
indow, from a passing drone. So yes. I saw. Including what happened once you left the building.”
“Is Caspian still in the hallway?”
Brad’s voice became almost casual. “Oh, no. We’re back to normal here. Some big men and a cleaning crew came and reversed whatever you did to him, then put things back in order. He walked right on out.”
“And you? How are you, Brad?”
The connection clipped out, then came back. There was still static, like in those old-time movies Chloe had watched with Andrew. Where the hell was static coming from? They really were in a whole new world.
“Me?” Brad laughed and lifted Chloe’s drooping heart. More than anything, hearing her artificial friend laugh was proof that Alexa’s claim was true: she had made a difference on The Beam, starting with Brad. “I’m software, Chloe. I can’t be anything but fine.”
“Couldn’t someone … I don’t know … try to delete you?”
Brad laughed again, but this time it was a little patronizing, as if Chloe were being naive. “Yes. They could try. But there are more places to hide in our world than there will ever be in yours.”
Chloe breathed for several long seconds. The connection crackled. She hadn’t moved since taking the call and was stock-still by the motel window, staring out across the sun-kissed morning peaks.
Andrew had been in the bathroom, cleaning up to leave. He came out now and put a concerned hand on her shoulder, reading her worry. The connection strengthened, the two of them forming a human antenna.
“Brad?”
“Yes, Chloe.”
“I’m disconnected up here. I can’t see what I could in DZ.”
“That, as I understand things, is entirely the point.”
“But you can. You still have my permissions. If you even needed them to start with.”
“What’s the question, Chloe? What’s on your mind?”
Chloe exhaled. These days, Brad had become nearly as intuitive as her.
“Am I … safe? Have you seen anything on The Beam that suggests that anyone is after me?”
“To your second question, the answer is yes. Obviously certain people are looking for you. But to your first question: also yes. You are safe.” Then, more gravely, addressing a worry Chloe didn’t realize she before it was spoken by Brad: “As is your mother, Chloe.”
“How can you be sure?”
“Because I am still here,” Brad said, “and I will fight for you.”
After an hour on the road, Chloe asked Andrew to pull over. He looked like he might want to ask why, but like the good man he was, he read her face and obeyed without comment.
He pulled off at a scenic overlook and, taking the opportunity, removed one of the gas cans and a long funnel from the trunk to top off their ancient vehicle. Chloe said nothing. She went down a short path, around a bend, and sat on a fallen tree. Then she put her face in her hands and cried.
It came like a torrent: everything she’d repressed. All she’d been holding back so she could be aware and stay strong for as long as their strange situation demanded.
Lowering her guard to weep was the ultimate litmus. They would make it out here and no one could find or follow their trail. Her life in District Zero was over, as was her life on Voyos.
She’d probably never see her friends again — a bitterly easy-to-accept fact, considering that she had so few. Slava would get along just fine. Not three days ago, they’d met for coffee and she’d demanded that Chloe make good on their original deal: Slava would keep the men there off of Chloe if Chloe, free to be with Andrew, would tell Slava what “loving sex” was truly like.
It curls your toes. It’s a high you feel in both mind and body.
And she’d probably never see Brad again if the price for safety was exile from the network. Brad, who’d promised to fight for her.
It all came out: Chloe’s loss, sadness, and fear. All the guilt she’d been harboring. All the pent-up resentment she’d been keeping at bay so she could solve the puzzle of her parentage and birth. The mixed emotions that came with learning her birth father was the most famous man in all the world — and that he didn’t even know she existed.
And her mother?
What of Nicole Shaw? Even if Brad could protect her — which Chloe felt strangely certain he could — would mother and daughter ever see each other again?
But her tears had run dry. The thing that had been lurking in her chest, prompting Chloe’s request to pull over, was out and gone, purged like buggy code.
She stood. On her way back to the car, Chloe found Andrew patiently waiting for her to emerge. He took one look at her red eyes and wrapped a loving arm around her.
“I was going to go and sit with you, but I got the feeling you wanted to be alone.”
Chloe hugged him tighter and said, “You did just fine.”
Thirty miles further on, they reached one of the larger peaks. Chloe requested another pit stop then walked to the edge of the road, holding her mobile high. It was a crapshoot. Over the past hour, she’d checked the mobile on and off, finding that almost all the time now there wasn’t any signal at all. There was no Crossbrace, certainly no Beam, no old-frame Internet, not Fi, not even pirate cellular.
This was dead land. Out here, there was only the wireless fidelity of nature.
But she had a signal from this high. A small one. And that would have to do.
She dialed.
A familiar voice picked up.
“Chloe, honey! Great to hear from you! Where are you? Are you back in the city?”
If only they were sharing video. If only her mother could see the mountains. They were terrifying and unknown. Achingly beautiful.
“No, Mom. I’m not in the city.”
Clearly, her question had been rhetorical. Nicole sounded surprised. “You’re not?”
“Mom, I …” Chloe closed her eyes. She had to be strong for this. “I have to go away for a while.”
“Go away? Where?”
“Just … away.”
Suspicious. “Chloe. Are you okay?”
Chloe turned her head. Andrew was standing on top of the car with his arms wide, sampling the mountain air. The gesture could have looked grand and cinematic, but it didn’t. Instead, it looked ridiculous: Andrew at his most Andrew.
“I’m actually great, Mom.”
“Well, are you going to come visit? Come home to Voyos? We had so much fun the last time you were here.”
Chloe almost laughed, despite the threatening sorrow. They hadn’t had fun at all. Even snipping out their big arguments, Nicole had hen-pecked Chloe the entire time. She loved her mother, but that last trip had done little more than convince Chloe that she could never, ever move back home.
“We’ll see, Mom.” And that, at least, felt normal. It was Chloe’s stock answer. Even back in DZ, she’d told Nicole “we’ll see” a hundred times. She could delay for half a century if that’s what it took.
“Look,” Chloe said, “I just wanted to let you know that I’m not going to be able to call for a while. And you won’t be able to reach me.”
“Are you going out to see? On one of the Erotic Cruises?”
“Something like that. But for a longer time.”
“How long?”
“I’m not sure. But don’t worry, okay? I’m fine. I’m great.”
“If you say so, Sweetheart.”
“And Mom?”
“Yes?”
“I love you. Dearly.”
Nicole looked touched. She made little sound, but Chloe could picture her smiling, a few fingers on her right hand delicately against her chest.
“I love you too, Chloe.”
Chloe’s eyes were on the horizon. She was facing east. Facing the past.
The line crackled again, the signal fading.
“Oh, and Mom?” she said, inspiration flashing.
“Yes?”
“I’ve heard from Clive.”
“Clive … Spooner?”
Ch
loe nodded to herself. She hated lying, but this was simpler. She didn’t have time — or a reliable enough connection — to tell the full story. Creative license with the same message would do.
“Yes. I know you didn’t want me to contact him, but I had to. I’m sorry. If the two of you happen to talk, don’t tell him that you know we spoke. It will embarrass him.”
“I can’t imagine why I’d—”
The connection was getting worse. Chloe had already climbed atop a rock at the edge of the road, threatening a nasty spill if she slipped. She couldn’t hold the mobile a single inch higher. The call would drop soon, and she had to finish.
“Mom. Listen. He didn’t leave you. He’d want you to know that, even if he wouldn’t want me to tell you. It was a comedy of errors. A bad time for you both, with you keeping me a secret and him dealing with fates of nations. But he didn’t blow you off. It just … didn’t work out.”
“What’s this about, Chloe? Why are you telling me this?”
“He still loves you, Mom. Just like you still love him.”
“Chloe, Honey, thank you but I—”
The call dropped.
The signal vanished.
And the last of Chloe’s connection to the outside world — probably for years — was gone.
Chloe wrestled the map. It didn’t want to fold. She’d more wadded it up than tamed it, focused on the line Andrew said Parker had drawn on the map and the X marking their terminus.
“Something keeps bothering me,” Chloe said, looking at the X.
“What?”
“I want to believe Alexa. Even after everything she did to us, I got this strong feeling at the end that she was on our side. She explained the why behind it all, even told me that it was her who’d broken us up, purposely showing me your meeting with the O board, where you all discussed the best way to ‘handle me.’”
Andrew looked ashamed and embarrassed, but this wasn’t about that, so Chloe rushed on.
The Future of Us (The Future of Sex Book 12) Page 6