I looked at Sarah, her expression mortified.
Then I started to laugh. I laughed so hard my cheeks hurt. Finally, I said, “I take it Sarah told you about her first, and maybe last, meeting with my family.”
“It better not be my last.” Sarah crossed her arms and glowered at me.
“Well, I can’t see why you would want to endure them again.”
“They are your family, Lizzie … unfortunately,” she mumbled the last word. Around her mom, Sarah let her guard down completely.
“You’re telling me. You know what they say: you can’t choose your relatives.” I shrugged.
“That’s a bunch of hogwash. Family is what you make it. And as far as I am concerned, you’re more part of our family than your own. How often do we all see each other? Once, maybe twice a week.” Rose winked.
Of course, we met only briefly on Saturdays before their shopping excursions. From my first introduction, Rose had always accepted me as one of her daughters.
“I’m glad you feel that way, Mom, because Lizzie and I have something to tell you.” Sarah took a deep breath and turned to me. “We are moving in together.”
We are what? Oh no, she didn’t. She did not just put me in this situation! I looked at Rose and then at Sarah. Their faces were glowing. Did they plan this?
The waitress came by and announced the dinner specials. She departed quickly, giving us more time to think over our choices. Maybe she sensed the awkwardness. I’m sure my face was a brilliant scarlet, and I was gasping for air.
Rose was the first to speak. “Well, it’s about time. It’s no secret Sarah spends every night at your house. You two are going to buy a house, right? There’s no sense throwing away your money on rent.”
Sarah took a sip of her wine and left me to respond.
“I guess so … we really haven’t talked about the details yet … but I guess you’re right … only making someone else rich by paying rent.” Oh shut up, Lizzie. I knew I was digging an even bigger hole for myself. I swayed in my seat, dizzy from the oppressive air.
“And Sarah, didn’t you tell me Lizzie’s brother is marrying an interior designer? If you ask me, all of the signs are pointing to home ownership.”
Someone please throw me a fucking rope.
Chapter Thirteen
After dinner, I texted Ethan and begged him to meet me the following day. Both of us arrived at the same time. Distraught, I couldn’t wait to sit down and tell him the news. While we waited in line, I explained what had happened.
“You’re buying a house together?” blurted Ethan.
I put my fingers to my lips to shush him. As I guided us towards the back of the store, away from the crowd, I said, “I don’t know what happened. When you think about it, Sarah played a masterful hand to do it in front of her mother. She knew I wouldn’t have the gumption to say anything. And now it’s too late. They practically have an interior designer hired.” I collapsed into a seat.
Ethan sat down too, and whispered, “Did they call her?”
“No, but it’s only a matter of time. These people don’t mess around, Ethan.” I looked nervously around the store. Why? I don’t know. Was I expecting Sarah and her mom to pop out with brochures advertising homes for sale? “Once they have an idea, they strike like a king cobra.”
He started to laugh. “Like a king cobra?”
“I don’t know. I saw a show the other night about this crazy guy who tracked down a king cobra in some jungle so he could touch its head … it was on one of those nature channels.”
“Was it Animal Planet? I love that channel.” He rubbed the top of his head and I noticed that he needed a haircut, and that he had a few gray hairs.
“Focus, Ethan. I’m about to make the worst mistake of my life. How do I get out of this?”
“I should have known something was wrong when you texted me. We’ve never had coffee two days in a row. My wife was pretty upset.”
I banged my head on the table and almost spilled my chai. “You are not helping me.”
“All right. All right.” He laughed. “I’ve never seen you like this. Sorry, I was just having fun.”
“I guess it isn’t so bad. At least she didn’t say we were getting married. I hate those gay commitment ceremonies; what a joke.” I scoffed.
“Yeah, Lizzie, you’re right. It’s much better to sign a thirty-year mortgage together.”
I groaned.
“Geez, Louise, you are easy pickings this morning. You’re a mess, Miss Lizzie.” His eyes sparkled.
“Listen, southern boy, you better help me.”
“That’s better. I was starting to miss the threats. All right, you want me to give it to you straight? Just tell Sarah you aren’t ready to buy a house.”
“You’re right.” I straightened up in my chair. “That’s all I have to say: ‘Sarah, I love you, but this is too much, too fast.’”
“Do you love her?”
I kicked him in the shins and he squealed.
“It’s a simple question, either yes or no.” Rubbing his shin, he inched his chair away from me.
I glared at him. “What’s wrong if I want to take things slow?”
“Slow, huh? How long have you been dating?” He tugged on his frayed collar.
“Almost a year.” I paused. “Oh, shit! I think our anniversary is this week.”
“Oh, how romantic, Lizzie! You’re buying your girlfriend a house for your first year anniversary. What will you buy her on your tenth? A small island or something?”
“Hardy har har, Ethan.” I slurped angrily at my chai.
“Seriously, though. It would behoove you to go the whole nine yards for the anniversary. Trust me, women hate to be blown off, and your track record has been horrible lately.” He shook his head and tsked.
“Thanks for the tip.”
“I’m always here to help.” He raised his cup in cheers.
“Any suggestions?”
“How ‘bout a ring? You’re heading down that path, little miss homemaker.” Ethan placed both elbows on the table, rested his chin on his hands, and batted his eyelashes at me.
I would have kicked him in the shins, but he was right. Sarah was playing her cards well. I needed to pick up my game. At least I could learn how to bluff better. Why did she feel the need to trap me?
“One good thing about this whole house business is that Sarah has stopped mentioning we should go to couple’s therapy.”
“Oh, that’s right. I forgot she thought you weren’t opening up enough. Well, buying a house is opening your wallet, so maybe she just wanted more gifts the entire time.”
“Oh, shut up.”
“Good one. I’ll have to remember that comeback.”
I shook my head and then laughed.
* * *
After coffee with Ethan, I took his advice about going all out for our anniversary. I didn’t buy a ring, but I decided to head home for my car so I could visit the grocery store. I hardly ever cooked for Sarah. Boiling water was a challenge for me. The one meal I’d made her before hadn’t gone over well. But I wanted to try again. Problem was, I had no idea what to cook.
I hoped I would find some inspiration while wandering aimlessly around the aisles in Whole Foods. I didn’t.
After thirty minutes, I was still clueless. I didn’t want to make something simple, like spaghetti. I wanted to show a little more effort than boiling some noodles and warming up sauce. And there was no way in hell I was going to try to make my own sauce. I didn’t think Ragu was anniversary dinner material. Yet I knew I couldn’t veer too much away from a simple meal. Before Sarah started staying over every night, I didn’t even own any spices other than salt and pepper. And cinnamon—I love cinnamon toast. She was the one who bought us a fancy spice rack with spices I had never heard of. Why did I think this was a good idea?
I wandered over to the butcher and peered down into the glass case. Veal seemed too hard. Finally, I spied some steaks. That was when the i
dea hit me. I asked the butcher to pick out his two best fillet mignons. Sarah loved asparagus, so I picked some up, along with potatoes. I thought about buying a cake, but then I thought she might think it was cute if I made cupcakes. I added some sprinkles, to decorate the cupcakes, to my basket. On the way home, I stopped at a hardware store to buy a small grill to cook the steaks.
As I drove by the mall, I heard Ethan’s voice telling me I should go all out for this anniversary, so I ran into a jewelry store and picked out a necklace. It was nothing too fancy, but I had a feeling she would love it. Sarah loved amethysts.
It wasn’t until I got home and set up the grill that I realized I had never cooked on a grill before. For the life of me, I could not light the darn thing.
Before I knew it, Sarah was standing behind me on the balcony, chuckling. “What’s the matter: you never took a class on how to light a grill?”
I spun around and smiled bashfully. “They actually teach that in college?”
“No, you nerd! Weren’t you in the Brownies or Girl Scouts or something when you were a kid?”
“Nope.”
“Have you ever been camping?”
“Camping? You mean that thing that involves tents and washing in the river.”
“Yeah, that thing.”
“Nope.”
“Do you want to tell me what you’re up to out here then?” She cocked one eyebrow.
“Would you believe I wanted to burn my dissertation?”
She crossed her arms.
“Oh, all right. I was trying to surprise you. I know our anniversary isn’t until Wednesday, but I thought I would make you dinner and I got this grill to cook the steaks and asparagus. I wasn’t expecting you this early. Why are you so early?” My voice squeaked.
“Don’t interrogate me. You’re the one sneaking around,” she teased.
Panic seized me, but then I realized she meant buying the grill and making her dinner.
Hiding my crimson face, I lit another match and dropped it onto the stone-cold coals. Nothing.
Sarah snickered at my ineptitude. “You were going to cook me dinner. Wow … you’ve never cooked me dinner before.” She seemed touched.
“That’s not true. I made you dinner once, but you laughed at me.” I pointed a useless match in her direction.
“You made me Frito pie! You heated up refried beans and mixed it in Fritos, cheese, and salsa. That isn’t cooking, my dear.”
“You have to admit it was delicious.”
She laughed. “Yes, as a great snack, but not a meal.”
“Okay, wise guy. Help me light this grill so I can throw the steaks on.”
As she walked to the grill, Sarah said, “By the way, I’m pretty impressed you remembered our anniversary. And all of this is sweet.” Her delicate lips brushed my cheek, and I got a whiff of her perfume. I loved the smell of jasmine.
“Ah … wait until you see the cupcakes.”
“You bought cupcakes? I love cupcakes.”
“No, I bought cupcake mix and things for us to decorate them with.”
I watched her lean over the grill. Her skirt hitched up and I caught a glimpse of her pink satin underwear. Excitement coursed through me and I felt like I was seeing her the first time. Sarah always wore sexy lingerie.
“Are you looking up my skirt?”
I beamed. “Ab-So-Lute-Ly.”
Casually, she glanced at me over her shoulder, teasing me with her eyes. “I felt your leer.”
“Leer!” I scoffed. “You make me sound like a dirty old man … or like one of your students. If you bent over like that in class I bet all of the boys would leer at you.”
“And a couple of the girls.” She winked at me. “Does it make you jealous? Thinking that some of my students might have the hots for me.”
“Moi! Jealous!” I acted hurt. “What about you … do you ever get jealous … that … er … some of my students might have the hots for me?”
Sarah stood up and walked slowly towards me. Her confident stride turned me on, and she knew it. She leaned in to kiss me and I felt her hot breath. Suddenly, she pulled back. I stumbled forward causing her to laugh.
“Elizabeth Petrie, I know what I want. And no, I don’t get jealous.” She placed a finger on my mouth. When I tried to lick her finger, she pulled that away as well.
Feeling foolish, I asked, “And what do you want?”
“Oh that’s for me to know and for you to find out.” She kissed me, deep and passionately. My fingers slid up her skirt, but she didn’t let me explore. “The coals should be hot now.” Gently, she pushed me away.
That isn’t the only thing.
“Okay … I see how you want to play it today,” I teased.
“That’s another thing, Lizzie, I don’t play with people.”
Did she know about Maddie?
Regaining my composure, I changed the subject. “Come on, let’s get this failure of a dinner on.”
“Trust me, this is not a failure. This is perfect, and nicely timed, I might add.” She gave me a devilish grin.
I pulled her necklace out of my pocket and dangled it in front of her. “I might as well give you your gift as well.”
“Lizzie! It’s beautiful!” Her eyes glistened.
“Turn around so I can put it on.”
She obeyed. I clumsily got the necklace on, and then wrapped my arms around her petite waist.
Sarah touched the amethyst gingerly. “I have to admit that you’re getting warmer.”
I cocked my head. “What do you mean?”
“You’re starting to figure out what I want.”
I thought I had a pretty good idea—a house with a white picket fence. Would it be so bad? I peeked down her shirt. God she had a sexy figure.
“You’re leering again.”
I blushed. “I can’t help it. You look stunning today.”
All of her muscles relaxed and she melted against my body. “I really do love you, Lizzie.”
“And I heart you.”
Chapter Fourteen
After a day of classes and working on my own research, I called it a night around eight. All I wanted to do was to take a hot shower and crawl into bed. These long days were starting to kick my ass, and I was regularly avoiding going home at all.
The crisp night air cleared my head and invigorated my muscles as I rushed home. The bike computer inched past 1,000 miles. Smiling, I peddled harder.
As I put the key into my door, I heard giggling inside the apartment. Was Sarah on the phone? I panicked. Maybe she was talking to Maddie about decorating the new place.
I entered to find Sarah and Haley sitting on the couch, a pizza box, two wineglasses, and an empty bottle of wine on the table before them. It took a second for this to sink in. We hadn’t even moved in together yet, but she was already inviting friends over for pizza and drinks.
“About time! What do you do all day and night without calling?” inquired Haley.
Second shock of the night: here she was, a guest in my house, and she acted like this.
“Be nice, Haley. Lizzie has to work hard so she can get a good teaching position once she finishes her dissertation. It’s not easy you know.” She slapped Haley playfully on the leg.
“Ouch. I was only kidding.” Hayley sniggered. It was obvious she was inebriated.
Sarah’s hand lingered on Haley’s leg. I stared at her hand, trying to fathom what it meant. Sarah observed me and stood up quickly, but there was a faint smile on her face. Why?
“Are you hungry, baby? I saved some pizza for you. It’s your favorite.”
“Actually, I’m famished,” I said, pushing my thoughts aside.
“I’ll get you a drink.” Haley started to get up.
Sarah must have noticed my look of ‘Did your friend just offer me a drink in my own home?’ and pushed Haley back onto the couch. “Haley, you’re drunk. Sit down,” she said. Turning to me, she smiled. “Lizzie, what would you like to drink?”
“Yes, we do. One rum and Coke coming up. And, from the looks of it, heavy on the rum.” She kissed my cheek on her way to the kitchen.
I sat on the loveseat next to the couch. “So, Haley, what’s new with you?”
“Men fucking suck. You’re so lucky you are gay. Women would be so much easier. I fucking hate men.” She grabbed her wineglass and dramatically gulped the rest of her wine. “Sarah, we need more wine,” she shouted.
Haley was never happy. She always had drama in her life, and when there wasn’t any, she stirred it up. Her verbally abusive boyfriend had a temper like a clap of thunder. Haley knew he was an asshole, but still she stayed with him. Two or three times a week I would get an update from Sarah. Michael did this; Michael did that. Each time, Haley would swear it was over, but all of us knew she wouldn’t end it. Michael had no reason to end it; he treated her like shit, and then he got to fuck a hot woman when they inevitably had make-up sex.
Haley stared at me. I focused on the bookshelves. I could tell she was waiting for my prompt so she could divulge her woes. Instead, I yawned and stretched out my arms.
She sighed dramatically. I continued to ignore her.
“Honey, how was your day?” Sarah returned with my rum and Coke and sat next to me on the loveseat.
“Thanks, baby.” I took the drink and pecked her on the cheek. “I really need this tonight.”
“I thought you didn’t drink.” Haley’s tone was accusatory.
“Not usually. Only when I’m in my own home.”
“Oh. You are one of those. Never drink in front of your friends, but when you’re at home, you tie one on in the dark. That’s cool. I get it.”
Neither Sarah nor I responded. Instead, I turned to Sarah and asked her about her day.
“Lizzie, I tell you, I am so ready for winter vacation. Today, one boy burned another boy with a lighter right in my classroom. The burned boy didn’t even tell me. Another student told me what happened.”
“Are you fucking serious? What the fuck is going on with kids today?” Haley waved her empty wineglass in the air and nearly dropped it. She overcorrected and almost fell off the couch.
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