Mandy felt a wave of hopelessness brush over her, and then it suddenly intensified to the extent that she could barely stand it. What was happening to her? She looked up and noticed that Miri was staring at her. Her face was set and clenched, and she was no longer eating.
“Oh, Mandy, I’m so sorry,” she murmured. “I didn’t mean to...”
“What?” Mandy didn’t understand. Slowly, the sadness subsided. She was no longer hungry, and from the look on Miri’s face, neither was she.
“Come on,” Miri said, and rose from the table. Not knowing what else to do, Mandy followed.
Miri led Mandy out of the dining room and up through the trapdoor into the Jewel Box, where they sat down together on one of the benches. Mandy felt so much calmer now. The place was deserted. All of the other students were either in the dining room or out on patrol. They sat in silence for a few minutes, and then Miri turned to Mandy.
“I owe you an apology, Mandy.”
“But you didn’t...”
“Yes, I did. I didn’t mean to, but I did. Let me explain.”
Miri told Mandy how she had recently discovered her special power, that she could feel other people’s emotions and magnify them. Before Mandy became a werewolf and came to P.A.W.S., she surely would have thought Miri was crazy. But in the last couple of months, Mandy had seen so much crazy stuff that virtually nothing surprised her anymore. And in any case, she had felt it. She had felt her hopelessness and sadness magnified and tossed back at her. And Miri looked so mortified, like she really hadn’t wanted to do that.
And just like that, Mandy opened the floodgates. All the stuff she had been scared to admit to Josh came tumbling out – how she was scared to turn into a wolf and terrified of the pain of the next full moon.
“Do you remember the Wolf Man in the old horror movies?” Mandy asked. “Do you remember how he begged to be released from his curse? I understand that, Miri. I don’t know if I can bear to change again.”
“But you love Josh, Mandy, and I can see that he feels deeply for you too. It took him a long time to learn to control his transformations, he told me that when we first met, but eventually he mastered it. And he needs you, Mandy. He was deeply lonely when I first met him. There were no others of his kind here. He hangs out with the wolf pack by the zoo, but there are no females in the pack.”
Mandy thought about what Miri was saying. Could it possibly be true? Could Josh want Mandy to stay as badly as she wanted to be here? She was determined to make it work. Somehow she would learn to shift form. Somehow she would endure the next full moon.
Chapter 32
David Katz stared at his reflection in the mirror. On his chest was a faint red scar that had been there for over thirty years. If you peered closely at it, you might be surprised to see that the small scar bore a striking resemblance to a cat. For years he had almost forgotten about the scar, but in the last few months since he had met Alistair again, it had started to itch, sometimes unbearably.
And then there were the dreams – dreams of a tabby cat with yellow eyes, a cat who talked to him.
“It would have been yours, you know; if you’d been patient, if you hadn’t stolen it.”
If he hadn’t stolen it...
***
It had begun when he was 11 years old. His school had announced a new after-school chess club. David was very good at chess and often used to play with his father. The teacher in charge of the new club was a volunteer, an immigrant from Europe called Mr. Alistair Wolfe. Mr. Wolfe had apparently won chess tournaments in his youth and was a rigorous teacher.
David played and beat everyone in his class, but he could not touch the teacher. Mr. Wolfe played chess to win, always, never slacking off, but David kept playing with him sometimes long after the class was over. One day, he thought. One day I’ll beat him. But he never did.
And there was another reason David kept playing with Mr. Wolfe. While they played, Alistair would tell him stories of the old country. Fantastic stories they were – fantasies about magicians and shapeshifters. Shapeshifters. He loved the idea of shapeshifters. Wouldn’t that be the perfect disguise? What if you could become a cat, a dog, a bird – and melt into the background?
For two years David attended the chess club with Mr. Wolfe, and during that time, he listened to hundreds of stories. But one particular one struck his imagination more than any other. Alistair told him about a certain kind of shapeshifter who gained his powers from a magic amulet he kept on a chain around his neck.
It was the eve of Yom Kippur. He and his father Max were getting ready for synagogue for the Kol Nidre service. His father helped him thread cufflinks through the cuffs of his shirt, adjust his suspenders, and tie his tie. He watched while his father got ready too, and he noticed something he had never paid attention to before. Before the holiday started, his father took a small silk pouch from his bedside table and removed a silver chain from his neck and placed it carefully in the pouch and then put it in his bedside table.
That night during the service, David’s mind was buzzing. He knew he had to see that silver chain. Of course, he could just ask his father about it, but something told him that was the wrong thing to do in this case. After the service they walked home from the synagogue. His mother had stayed home with Nora, still too small to stay quiet in services.
Once home, David read a little from his book and then decided to go to bed. There was very little he was allowed to do on Yom Kippur eve; he couldn’t watch TV or play music. His parents went to bed early too. David, however, found he couldn’t sleep. As he’d had his Bar Mitzvah a few months before, this year he was obliged to fast. (He’d tried last year, but had given up early.)
Now he was hungry. He got out of bed. The house was quiet, but certain lights had been left on so that they could have light through the holiday without turning on switches. He went into the kitchen. He was sorely tempted to cheat.
Would God really care if he had a few sips of milk? He opened the fridge, then closed it again. No, he would not cheat. He started walking back to his room when something caught his eye. His parents had left their bedroom door open. Maybe his mom had been scared Nora would cry out in the middle of the night, as she’d been having nightmares lately.
In any case, David tiptoed to his parents’ open door and looked inside. Both his mama and papa were sound asleep. His papa was snoring loudly. His heart beating wildly in his chest, he stepped quietly over to his papa’s side of the bed and opened his bedside drawer. There it was, the silk pouch. Quickly, he took it and rushed out of the room and into his bedroom.
He closed his bedroom door and, shaking, laid the pouch on the bed. With fumbling fingers he took the silver chain from the pouch and laid it on the palm of his hand. He gasped as he stared at it. It was probably the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, a perfect replica of a tabby cat.
He liked cats. They had always had cats around the house. His mama would feed them scraps of leftover chicken and fish and pour them saucers of milk. This silver cat on the chain seemed to capture the essence of felinity. He knew, though, that he should not have taken it and that it was probably very important to his father. Perhaps he had brought it with him from Europe. He would return it, put it back in the drawer. His papa would never even know he had seen it.
He went to put it back in the bag. But as his fingers picked up the charm, he felt a compulsion stronger than anything he had ever felt before. Put on the chain, David. What harm could it do? It was only a fantasy, after all, a strange coincidence. Shapeshifters were made up. No one could really change into a cat.
He fumbled with the clasp on the chain. Finally, he managed to open it and fasten it around his neck. At first nothing happened (well, what did you expect David?). Then, slowly, the charm started getting warmer. It’s working, thought David. But his body didn’t change. The charm did, though.
The charm was getting hotter and hotter until it was burning his skin. Maybe it’s meant to hurt, he thought. Soon,
soon, I’ll change. The pain was almost too much to bear now. He shoved a handkerchief in his mouth to stop himself from screaming. He could see steam rising from around the amulet where it was scorching his skin. Finally, he could stand it no longer. He unclasped the chain and dropped the steaming amulet on the floor.
He went over to the mirror and looked at his skin where the amulet had been. There was a perfect image of a cat branded into his chest. He bent down and gingerly felt the charm. It was cooling rapidly. He picked it up and put it back into the silk pouch. He should return it. He walked to his bedroom door.
As he opened the door, he heard the sound of little Nora crying out. She’d had another of her nightmares. He heard his Mama’s voice comforting her. “It’s all right, mein Liebchen, go back to sleep.”
David backed into his room. Tomorrow, he thought. Tomorrow I’ll return it.
But he never did. Every night David would promise himself, tomorrow. Tomorrow I’ll return the amulet. But tomorrow would come along with another excuse.
Yom Kippur that year was ridiculously hard. He had been looking forward to his first fast. He had wanted to brag to his friends at temple that he was doing it, that it was easy. But it wasn’t easy. Yes, David kept the fast, but he also kept a nagging headache all that day.
Also throughout that day, the mark where the charm had burnt him continued to burn. He avoided letting his parents see the spot. He awkwardly tied his tie himself over the area. At one point his papa came up to him in temple and tightened his sloppy job. David winced but hid the pain from his papa. Tonight I’ll return the chain, he said to himself. Then it’ll be okay.
After the final shofar blast that signaled the end of the solemn day, David walked home with his papa. His mama had prepared a huge breakfast meal for them, proud of her son’s first Yom Kippur as a man. David gorged himself until he felt sick and bloated and then excused himself and went to his room with a stomachache. As he lay on his bed, he heard his papa’s voice from the next room.
“Celia, have you seen my chain? I’m sure I put it in this drawer, but I can’t find it.”
“Ach, I told you not to take it off. See, I never take mine off.”
“But it was Yom Kippur, Celia. I’ve always taken it off on Yom Kippur, even in the woods. My papa told me, ‘You don’t risk changing on Yom Kippur.’”
“Humph, it must be there. Let me look.”
David knew he should have owned up then. He could have told his papa he was curious. Papa wouldn’t have been angry with him; he knew that. Papa never got angry with anyone. But David couldn’t do it. Later, he thought, after they go to bed.
But Papa paced the room for hours that night, and David listened to him for hours until he finally fell asleep.
That was the first time he was visited by the tabby cat with the yellow eyes in his dreams.
“You need to give it back, David. It’s not yours,” the cat said simply.
David woke up in a cold sweat. Today I’ll give it back, I promise.
But today was a school day, and he was late for school. David rushed through getting dressed, grabbing some breakfast and his books, and went off to school. And he never gave the charm back.
During the next few months, his papa, who had always been healthy, started to get sick. He felt tired all the time and found the work in the matzo factory increasingly difficult. And David, busy with his day-to-day life – his friends, his schoolwork, the chess club – forgot all about the charm in the back of his drawer.
One Friday night after dinner, Max called his son over. David looked into his face and was shocked to see the lines and the gray beard. It seemed like his papa had aged ten years in as many months. Maybe, maybe if he’d rushed into the other room and got the charm, maybe if he’d returned it to him then, maybe he could have saved his papa’s life. Maybe. Or maybe not. Maybe he was too far gone already. In any case, David didn’t.
Max looked at David with sadness in his eyes. “David, my son, I’m going to die soon. I can feel it. I’m so sorry, David, but I’ve lost your birthright that my papa gave to me. It would have helped you through life, David, made you special. It saved me from the Nazis. I’m truly sorry, David.”
Max died in his sleep a few days later. David never told him he had the charm. He felt like he no longer needed to. Well, if it was going to be his anyhow... David wondered if, now that his papa had passed away, it was safe for him to try putting the charm on again, but he was scared. He remembered the pain from the first time. So instead, he hid it away, and after he moved to St. Louis, he put it in the wall safe in his bedroom in his new fancy house and didn’t think about it again until Alistair turned up a few months ago.
***
It was late evening. David was in his office finishing up some papers. There was a knock on the door, and in walked Alistair. The first thing that struck him was that after all these years, he didn’t appear to be any older; if anything, he appeared healthier, more vigorous than David remembered.
Alistair walked into the room and closed the door. He had a glint in his eyes, and he spoke in a low but commanding voice.
“Good evening, David. Do you remember me?”
“Um... yes. Mr. Wolfe, isn’t it? It’s been a long time.”
“You know, David, you were always my favorite student. Do you still play chess?”
“No, I haven’t for years.”
“What a shame. You had a real talent.” He looked around David’s office, taking in the luxurious furniture and furs on the walls and the huge jaguar-skin rug on the floor. “But it seems you’ve done rather well for yourself, nevertheless.”
“I can’t complain.”
“Do you still keep in touch with your family, David?”
“No... well... my parents both passed away and...”
“You had a sister too, if I remember rightly...”
“Nora disappeared when she was 19. No one’s seen her since. She had a child – a girl, Miriam. She was left in our care when my mother died.”
“Oh, so you take care of her?”
“No, my wife and I, um, travel a lot... on business. Miriam goes to boarding school, the Saul Emmanuel Academy. She’s receiving an excellent education, far better than she had at the public school in New York. So what brings you here, Mr. Wolfe?”
“Please, call me Alistair. Do you remember the stories I used to tell you while we played, David?”
A chill ran through David, and the area where the charm once occupied tingled.
“Oh, yes...”
“Well, I’ve been doing some research, purely academic, of course, and I now believe that some of those legends may in fact have a grain of truth in them.”
“Really, how fascinating...”
“Isn’t it just? Of course, the idea of shapeshifters is very farfetched, but there does appear to exist a record in some of the more obscure history books of some silver charms that were passed down through families.”
“So what does that have to do with me?”
“Well, it appears that one such family was the Katz family that came out of Vienna.”
Involuntarily, David put his hand to his throat. The cat scar was beginning to itch now. Alistair’s eyes followed the movement of his hand. He knows I have the charm. How could he know that?
Alistair looked at his watch. “Oh, look at the time. You must be anxious to get back to your lovely wife. Cynthia, isn’t it? I saw her picture in the Jewish Light the other day, a fine figure of a woman. Maybe I could trouble you to come by your home sometime over the weekend. I believe I have the address here. Town and Country – such a delightful suburb.”
And as quickly as Alistair arrived, he was gone.
The next few months were punctuated by visits from Alistair. After each visit David became more and more nervous. Alistair claimed that his interest in the charms was merely academic, but he was sure there was at least one in the Katz family, maybe even two, and he thought that David’s mother may have passed one on t
o Miri before she died.
At the same time, the tabby cat with the yellow eyes appeared more and more frequently in David’s dreams, and sometimes nowadays there were two cats, as the tabby was joined by a gray cat with green eyes. They would both try to talk to him, but in his dreams he would get scared and would not want to hear what they had to say.
David stayed away from the charm. He was scared to touch it. Yet sometimes when Alistair visited, he had to fight a strong compulsion not to hand it over to him. Although Alistair always appeared cordial on the surface when he visited, there seemed to be a dark undertone to his conversation, and David strongly wished he would go away.
He decided to visit Miri at school. If she did indeed have a charm, maybe he could get hers and hand it over to Alistair, and then Alistair might leave him alone. That’s when he discovered that she had gone missing. He searched her belongings in the school, but of course, the charm was not there. He didn’t know why he took the soft blue shawl, or why he showed it to Alistair. Somehow he just felt it was significant. All he knew was this whole thing was now spiraling out of control and that his scar now itched terribly most of the time, and he found himself constantly on edge, always looking over his shoulder. Sometimes he felt he was being watched by inhuman eyes and was scared that he was going crazy.
That evening Cynthia had gone out to a Bunko evening with her Ladies’ Society. David sat on their bed in indecision. There was a painting of a wolf above their bed, a wedding present, if he remembered rightly, though he could not recall who had sent it. He climbed onto the bed and carefully removed the painting from the wall to reveal the safe behind it. He dialed the combination and searched through the safe until he found the small silk pouch that he had taken from his father’s bedside table so many years ago.
P.A.W.S. Page 14