Dane thought that was probably true. Certainly it hadn't brought him closer to his brothers, his father or Suzy. "I was willing to go along with it because I needed the money."
"Everyone needs money, Dane. You think I ever win at rodeo?" Jack's eyes went hard and Hat.
"Don't you?"
"Hell, no. Once, a long time ago, I won a small rodeo in a remote town up north. Can't even remember where I was. This was years ago. It paid out a couple of dinner tickets, a pair of boots and a hundred bucks, along with my entry fee. I don't have a truck. I pay for health in-
surance with what little place money I win. Believe me, just covering the health insurance as a rider is no picnic. I understand needing money. But I wouldn't be an indentured servant to Pop for it."
"That's what was bothering me. I didn't want to be indentured."
Jack jabbed a finger into Dane's chest. "Don't get married. You get roped twice."
Dane shook his head. "It was the money that bothered me, not the marriage. So what do you do all the time if you don't win? Why do you do it?"
Jack shrugged. "I like rodeo. It's my home. All my friends are there, like family. They are my family. I can count on them to give me a hitch to the next place, be there for me when I have a bad ride. It's hard to explain, but even if I don't win, I feel I'm still winning in life being around the rodeo. I see the country. And I don't owe anybody a thing."
"Okay. Still, here you are." Dane thought there had to be a reason his brother had shown up at the ranch.
"Because of this letter." Jack waved it in the air. "Pop's trying to put the curse of guilt on me."
"So tear it up."
"It's not that easy," Jack said. "The blessing of the father is very important. Was all through the Bible. Pop's never blessed me. Or any of us. But the past has to stay in the past in order for us to live our lives. We can't go back," he told Dane, his expression sincere. "You've heard the old expression, 'You can't go home'?"
"We don't want to go back," Dane pointed out. "What will it take for you to turn this letter into good karma? So that you can go on with your life and ride off into the sunset on a mean bounty bull?"
"I don't have to do anything because you're in the best position to turn the karma around. It's your wedding" Jack said. "Therefore, fortune is smiling on you. You have to find out what's wrong with Pop and fix it. Otherwise we'll never be free of him. I know you think I've been bucked off one too many times, but the old man's setting us up for being ruled from the grave."
Dane swallowed. "Maybe whatever it is can't be fixed."
Jack looked at his letter again. "He was never proud of me. That's what's so strange about this whole thing."
There was no arguing with that. Pop had hated the one thing Jack loved.
"He's dying," Jack said. "Or he wouldn't be looking for redemption, which he isn't getting from me. Forgiveness isn't something I'll be giving him on his deathbed." He gave Dane a mirthless smile. "You see why I know this is bad karma. We're supposed to honor our parents."
"Oh, hell," Dane murmured, "I called him the other day, and he's the same cold, remote person he always was. If you want this karma thing off your chest, call him and tell him you got his letter but not to bother in the future. It's not like he's found you a bride or anything. Or even tried to lure you home like he did the rest of us."
Jack stood. "You need to find out what the problem is. It'll bug you until you do."
"Thanks," Dane said. "Anyway, any problem Pop has, I can't solve."
"But at least." Jack said, "you can make the effort to let him know three-quarters of the family cares. Everybody wants to know their family cares, even gnarly old Pop. Best of luck with the wedding, even though I don't believe in getting married under the gun." Jack saluted him and slipped out the door.
"Heck," Dane muttered, "I do believe you've had your bell rung a few too many times, bro." Still, he couldn't help wondering if Jack cared a bit more than he was letting on.
Remembering that Jack had no vehicle, he glanced out the window to see if he could figure out how Jack had gotten to the ranch. He saw his brother hop into a waiting car. After a moment, the car pulled down the road. Dane stared, recognizing the vehicle even in the dark.
Suzy was giving his brother a ride away from the Morgan ranch.
"I tried to tell him," Jack told Suzy as they drove away. "But Dane is a man of facts. Comes from being a Ranger, probably. But I did try, just like you asked. Now tell me everything you know."
"I can't," Suzy said. "Patient confidentiality. Even though it's your father, I can't violate that."
"But you're not a nurse now," Jack pointed out.
"It doesn't matter."
"So you tell me Pop's not in good shape, and that's all?
How do I know you're not cooking up a scheme on Pop's behalf to get me jumping around like Gabriel and Dane?"
"Because," Suzy said carefully, "you didn't get a promise of a million dollars, or a handpicked bride with children, or anything that would make you feel like you had to do something you didn't want to."
"Do you think Dane's doing something he doesn't want to do?" Jack asked, his voice silky. "Like marry you?"
Suzy ignored that. She would wait and see how Dane felt about what Jack had told him before worrying about whether he'd change his mind about marrying her. "That's between Dane and me. All I wanted from you was the chance to let Dane know that he doesn't have forever to make amends with your father."
"Yeah, well. None of us care, little lady."
"And believe me, I appreciate that sentiment. I understand feeling betrayed by one's family. However, I know a different side of Mr. Morgan, and I...I don't want Dane to regret leaving things unsaid."
"He didn't seem too worked up about it." Jack shrugged and looked out the window. "Maybe he told you we're not a close family."
"Oh, quit carping about it," she snapped. "You're wearing it out like an old country tune. You have time to change the future, if not the past, if you want to."
"Did the old man tell you he was fond o( disciplining us?" Jack asked. "His version o( discipline was harsh, to put it mildly."
Suzy's skin chilled. "No. He didn't."
'He was harder on me than my brothers. I'll admit. And the last night we were all together, I'd barel gotten home from ihe hospital when Pop pitched the fit of all fits. Td had it with him. I was tired of his insults and his griping and him trying to control my life. And I wasn't going to be 'disciplined' again." Jack's voice went tight with the memories. "This time, it was an all-out boxing match between us. If you think it's something to be proud of, fistfighting with your old man, you'd be wrong. I'd like to say I beat the old geezer fair and square, but he was always a tough old bird."
"And you were already injured." she murmured. s ondering why Josiah couldn't have taken it easy on his son until another time when Jack was healed. But she knew why. He hated rodeo. He loved Jack. He wanted more out of life for his oldest son.
Still, Jack had basically nothing now. He owned his gear, by his own admission, and that was it.
"Yeah, I was injured, but Pvc never felt good about beating on the old man. Tough as rawhide and then some. He wore me down and then he let me know who was the head of the Morgan clan." Jack shook his head, grimacing. "I left as soon as I could pick myself up off the ground, and I'm not ever laying eyes on him again."
Suzy's fingers clenched on the steering wheel. "Dane never told me about that."
"Why should he? They left. too. No one wanted to be around the old man. Pete enlisted. Dane enlisted, Gabriel hitched around for a couple years and then
enlisted. Whatever Pop was trying to make out of us, he failed miserably."
Tiny tears pricked at the back of Suzy's eyes. "I know it won't seem like much now, but I think he genuinely regrets that he wasn't a better father. He spends an awful lot of time with charity work and—"
"Lady, listen. Pop does what benefits Pop. Don't play the pity card with me, b
ecause I know him too well. If I was you, I'd concentrate on my wedding."
She caught her breath, hearing something in his voice. "How did Pete get the letter to you?"
"He left it at the rodeo, like I told you. A friend got it to me."
"And why did you decide to call me?"
"Because you'd told me you were marrying my brother. I called the house, hoping you'd answer the phone."
"But why?" Suzy asked. "I know what I wanted from you, but why did you call?"
Jack didn't speak for a while. Then he said, "The only wedding gift I can give you is my best wishes."
"Oh. Thank you." Suzy was touched, more than she could say. "Come if you can."
"I'll be in California by then, trying to ride oli some of the guilt and bad karma Pop's trying to saddle me with. But I appreciate the invitation. By the way, my brothers mean a lot to me. I'd like to see them all married and happy, but not because Pop wants it." Jack got out of the car and grinned at her. "This is the end of the road for me."
"Is Dane happy?** she asked, dying lo know. She knew Jack would he aware of his brother's true feelings.
"Don't you know T Jack asked, his voice silk again.
"Not as much as you do about him."
'Then you better ask Dane,'* Jack said, "brother confidentiality and all that. Thanks for the ride—and thanks for trying to help us. Thing is, Morgan men are prett set in their ways, if you hadn't already figured that out." With a wink, he shut the door and loped oi into town.
Great. And Tve fallen in love with a Morgan.
Chapter Seventeen
All the commotion at the Morgan ranch was a reminder to Suzy that she, too, had some past to clear up. So the next day she put Nicole and Sandra in the car and drove to Fort Wylie for what she knew would be an uncomfortable meeting. But she couldn't very well preach to the Morgan men about forgiving their father when she hadn't forgiven her own parents.
There was a lot on the line with this visit. If Dane hadn't shown the resolve to come out here and introduce himself to her father, maybe she wouldn't have considered it. The past was still too painful and raw. Yet as Dane said, there were Sandra and Nicole to consider. For them, Suzy would put aside her pride, lay her heart on the line one more time.
Until she did, she couldn't move on with her own life. The bad feelings—karma, Jack called it—would always be there, shackling her to yesterday. So she dressed her girls in their prettiest pink winter dresses and white tights and prayed time was the healer of all wounds.
At the gate, she pressed the intercom. The familiar voice of the housekeeper said, "Yes?"
"Mrs. Ross, it's Suzy."
"Suzy?" The housekeeper hesitated.
Suzy's pulse raced. Had Mrs. Ross been ordered not to allow her on the grounds? "Yes, ma'am" she replied.
The gate slid back without further hesitation. Suzy drove through, pained by the sight of the place where she'd once lived. Once upon a time, she'd dreamed of having children who would run and play on the wide lawns. Yet dreams didn't always come true.
Suzy parked her car by the steps, waving away the attendant who came to park it for her. "Thank you, John, we won't be staying long, I fear. How are you doing?"
He smiled at her, his gaze lighting with pleasure on her girls as she helped them from the car. "I'm fine. Keeping an eye on the old folks."
Suzy smiled. "Don't let them hear you call them that."
"Oh, I won't, don't you worry." He grinned at her.
Suzy went up the steps as the doors opened. "Hello, Mrs. Ross," she said as Sandra and Nicole took their time going up the marble steps, their little feet not quite sure on the smooth stone. Suzy held their hands to guide them.
"Hello, Suzy," Mrs. Ross replied. "And who might these young ladies be?"
"These are my daughters," Suzy said proudly. "This is Sandra, and this is Nicole." She pointed to each one in turn, pleased that Mrs. Ross seemed delighted to see the children.
"They look just like you, Suzy," Mrs. Ross said. "I've often wondered if they did. You know, when you were that age—"
Her voice trailed off as Suzy's parents appeared behind Mrs. Ross in the wide entryway.
"Hello, Mother. Father," Suzy said. Her girls clung to her legs, and Suzy thanked God for the strength they gave her.
'To what do we owe this visit?" her father asked.
Suzy straightened. "I wanted to tell you I'm getting married."
"So we heard," her father said. His gaze barely lit on his granddaughters, though her mother seemed to be studying them curiously. "Your cowboy friend was here the other night."
Mrs. Ross excused herself and surreptitiously left the entryway.
"My cowboy friend's name is Dane Morgan," Suzy said with a lift of her chin. "I didn't know he was coming out to introduce himself to you, but I'm happy he did."
Her father stared at her silently. Her mother seemed unwilling to say anything in case it might be the wrong thing. Sandra and Nicole stayed very still, sensing tension and not understanding it.
Forget this, Suzy thought suddenly, if they don't want me and my children here, I've got a family elsewhere who does.
"I seem to have come at a bad time," she said stiffly.
"If you'll excuse us, we should get back. I don't like to drive after dark."
And then, before she could react, Sandra went over and threw her arms around her grandfather's leg, just as she'd clung to Suzy. Nicole followed suit, not to be outdone, hugging his other leg. Their grandfather seemed puzzled by their action, then realized they were being affectionate, normal grandchildren. He raised his hands as if he didn't know what to do with them, and then he gently put a hand on each little girl's head, stroking their flyaway blond hair. This was the signal his wife seemed to be waiting for as she knelt down to touch each child for herself. After a moment o( studying her gently lined face, Sandra and Nicole made their way into their grandmother's waiting arms. She hugged each grandchild to her tightly, kissing little round cheeks with joy. They patted her French knot of carefully brushed white hair with tiny toddler fingers, accepting the affection as if it were the most natural thing in the world, and Suzy was astonished to see tears running down her parents' faces.
Three hours later, after a sumptuous meal of steak, red potatoes, asparagus and Oreo cake, Suzy allowed her parents to talk her into spending the night. For the sake of the children, they said, whom they wanted to spend more time with. They shouldn't be on the road so late, and Suzy had plenty of clothes at the house to wear.
Mrs. Ross sent for some nighties and essentials from her daughter who lived nearby and who had children about the same age. Suzy acquiesced, pleased that her parents wanted to spend more time with the twins.
She sat in her old room on her bed, with the children in a makeshift nursery in an adjoining room so she could hear them if they needed her in the night. Pulling out her cell phone, she called Cricket.
"Cricket, it's Suzy," she said.
"I know. Where are you? Dane's going nuts!"
"Why?" Suzy asked.
"Because he says you drove off with his brother Jack. And you haven't been home in hours, which is totally not like you. Dane thinks you're being enticed by Jack. Or something like that. Lured by danger."
"Lured by danger?" Suzy wrinkled her nose. "Have I ever been lured by danger?"
"Maybe he said you could be easily influenced to take a walk on the wild side. I can't remember exactly. I think he's jealous," she said in a hushed voice. "He's been stalking around here like a caged lion. He keeps saying it's time for the girls to be in bed or they'll get fussy."
Jealous didn't sound like Dane. "No, he's not jealous. Why would he think I was with Jack? I gave him a ride to town last night, and that was it. Jack was on his way to California, anyway."
"California?" Cricket repeated softly. "So he's not planning on being here for the wedding."
"No. He claims he has things to do."
"I see," Cricket murmured.
&
nbsp; "So, back to Dane. Didn't you tell him I'd gone to my folks?"
"No. Priscilla and I both thought it might be best not to mention it. After all, he hadn't gotten the warmest reception there the other night—and it is your life, Suzy. We felt like if you'd wanted him to know, you would have told him. We're always going to be your friends first. If he'd gotten a little more wild, we probably would have had to say something, though. He said you wouldn't answer your cell phone, and a thousand crazy thoughts were going through his mind."
"I had it off. I just needed today to sort out my life." But she hadn't imagined Dane would have been so worried about her. "I'm staying at my parents' for the night. I'll call him later and tell him."
"Your parents?" Cricket's voice lit up. "Does that mean it was love at first sight when they saw those adorable little girls?"
Suzy smiled. "Although it was touch-and-go for a few minutes, the girls charmed them. And it was as if all the anger just dissolved. My parents act as if a miracle has happened."
"Oh, Suzy. I'm so happy for you!"
Suzy's eyes misted. "Thank you. I'm happier for my children. They deserve grandparents who love them." She'd wanted her parents' forgiveness more than she'd realized—she had dreamed of her children knowing their grandparents.
"Oh, it's like a fairy-tale ending ." Cricket said. "I can't wait to tell Priscilla."
"What, what?" Suzy could hear Priscilla's voice as she came into the room.
"Just a minute and I'll tell you," Cricket said. "We've been touching up the last details for the wedding."
The wedding. She had forty-eight hours left. So little time to put her life into neat boxes. Hesitation filled her, a need for space and time to think. That was the real reason she'd accepted her parents' plea to stay with them. Everything in her life had suddenly changed. Her desire to never be without family—like Jack—had melted away without regret.
So now it was left to her to decide if she was making the right decision to marry Dane. She had to be honest with herself—it was time to go home for good.
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