The doll was dirtying her clothes, but she didn’t care. Cha’Rolette hugged her tight, and a lifetime of memories came flooding back to her.
How... how did you find this? She asked, her eyes moist.
“It wasn’t easy. Your family doesn’t use Central Core at all. They use a secure black box system that is completely isolated from external connections. However, most of the people attached to the family do use traditional wireless data storage, which I could access. I was able to determine the date that you were brought to your family’s estate on the third moon of Central by slicing into the servant’s inventories and receipts for that cycle. When items for little girls appeared, I knew I had the appropriate month. From there, I went to the landfill in the north ravine, dug down through the stratified layers till I was at the appropriate depth for that cycle, then began digging laterally.”
Cha’Rolette couldn’t believe what she was hearing. That’s amazing.
“It could have taken much longer. I was lucky enough to find it before any defense satellites noticed my heat signature beneath the landfill. Your family’s defense grid is... extremely impressive.”
Cha’Rolette had to fight back the tears. She hugged the doll even tighter. Why would you do this for me?
“Like I said, I wanted to learn more about you, and I was surprised at what I found. I had thought that you were just some privileged brat, but I was wrong. You are very strong. You fought for everything you have. I respect that, and Gerald suggested this as the best way to show that respect.”
Cha’Rolette gave the doll a kiss. The scent brought back her whole childhood. It was bitter, but also sweet. It was no longer something she wanted to hide; it was a part of who she was. She put aside the layers of shame she had built up about it and instead simply allowed herself to remember, basking in nostalgia.
Oh, that Gerald is a master manipulator. I really don’t give him enough credit for that.
She inhaled again and she could feel herself becoming young again.
Fortunately, Gerald is harmless. If he ever used his talents for ill, he would be unstoppable.
Cha’Rolette wiped her cheek on her sleeve, a little embarrassed to be displaying so much emotion in front of the family. Thank you Trahzi, she said sincerely. This is the greatest gift I have ever received and I am not an easy person to shop for.
They both chuckled. They couldn’t help but smile at each other.
Trahzi pulled out a cable. “Can we...:
Stop! Cha’Rolette said, holding up her hand. Don’t spoil the mood. Just let it marinate.
“Okay.”
Trahzi put the cable away, and the two of them sat there in comfortable silence as Cha’Rolette held the doll close to her heart.
* * *
Gerald watched the man sidelong as they walked together, noting that Nathers walked much further away from him than normal, almost to the point of avoiding him.
“So, what have you been up to?” Gerald asked, trying to make small talk and clear his head of the monumental decision hanging over him.
“Thanks to you I was reassigned to intelligence, with a severe pay cut,” he responded tersely.
Gerald smacked his lips. “I see.”
“We’ve done everything we can think of, but Lyssandra Bal won’t give up the location of Raganrok.”
“Is that really still a problem? I would think that with her in custody...”
“A weapon that can kill gods and annihilate entire planetary populations is a very real problem, yes,” Nathers corrected. “And it’s my ticket out of this dead-end job. She could have left someone behind with instructions to use it for who knows what, or someone else could stumble onto it and turn it on. So long as it is out there, it is a threat; the greatest threat the galaxy has ever known. We have all her associates, but before coming here she moved Ragnarok without telling her own people where she put it or what her plans are. She’s the only one who knows and she refuses to speak to us, so we thought we’d try you. Basically, we ran out of options.”
“I’m not really trained as an interrogator, you know.”
“Yes, I know, but she turned herself in by your command, so maybe she’ll give up the details to you.”
“It’s worth a shot.”
With that, Gerald was led through layer after layer of security beneath the palace. Walls of hardened eutronium, forcefield barriers so loud the humming hurt Gerald’s ears. Layer after layer, one would think they were trying to contain a supernova, not a person. The guards eyed Gerald suspiciously and he grew more nervous as they moved deeper inside. He realized that the further in they went, the more trapped he was as well.
Finally, they reached the inner chamber. Nathers went into the observation room with a few more guards, while Gerald proceeded the last few feet. The center itself looked a lot like a crystal reactor, a hollowed-out doughnut shaped room made of glass and crystals that came to a point in the center. The energy fell down like a waterfall, creating one final barrier that surrounded the occupant as she sat on the hard metal floor.
Gerald gasped when he saw her. Her skin was faded and dry. Veins poked out weakly through thin, wrinkled skin. Her hair was grey and thinning, her pointed ears saggy and shriveled. She sat stooped over, her once proud back withered and hunched.
She looked up at him, her faded eyes nearly blind. She breathed in, and her lips parted when she recognized him.
“Master.”
Gerald put his hands up on the field. “What happened to you?”
She looked about, as if she could not recall where she was. “What year is this?”
“49-091.23 C.E.”
She chuckled. The sound was dry and ragged. “So, it’s only been a few days.”
“How did this happen to you? I mean, why are you so...”
“Old?”
“Yes.”
“The Bertulf can create bubbles where time moves faster for those inside, did you know that?” she asked in a slow cadence.
“No, I didn’t know that.”
She nodded. “Time destroys everything. It wears away the mountains, snuffs out the stars, it can even kill the love in our hearts. That’s what they hoped would happen to me. They hoped my love would eventually die. You last saw me only a few days ago. But I have not seen you for six hundred and fifty cycles.”
Gerald looked at the deep scars on her skin. Layer upon layer of stratified scar tissue that covered her skin like a spider’s web. “They tortured you?”
She nodded. “In every way they could conceive. They took turns, a cycle or two at a time. I lost count of how many there were.”
In spite of everything she had done, Gerald could not help but feel pity for her. “So, why didn’t you just tell them what they wanted to know?”
She looked up. “Because you did not order me to.”
“That’s ridiculous. Who am I? I’m just some kid. Why would it matter to you whether or not I gave you an order?”
She tilted her head. “You don’t understand unconditional love yet, do you?”
“What? Of course I do. I preach it every day.”
She shook her head. “No, you don’t. I told you, all those cycles ago, that my life and soul belong to you. You may do whatever you want with me. If you had ordered me to kill myself, I would have done so. If you wanted me destroyed, I would gladly let myself be destroyed. Use me, discard me, ignore me, do every foul thing you can imagine to me, and I will accept it, and think no less of you for it. That is what it means to love without condition.”
Gerald was mortified. “No, that is not what it means. What you describe is sick. People don’t do horrible things to people they love.”
“I didn’t say you had to love me back,” she corrected. “I gave myself and my love to you. At no point are you required to return the affection.”
Gerald couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He had said similar things himself. It was like she was throwing his own teachings and beliefs back at him, but someho
w they were twisted, perverse in a way he couldn’t quite put his finger on.
“I can see it in your eyes,” she said. “You are wondering why my words are so close to your own.”
“Yes,” Gerald said.
She nodded. “You gave me those words. You taught me your doctrine, your philosophy, and I have lived them out ever since. I am your truest disciple, your most devoted follower. I have followed you from one side of the galaxy to the other. I have even committed unspeakable acts because you ordered me to. Even after all this time, I want you to know that in spite of all you have done, in spite of the evil things you made me do... I still love you.”
“That’s a lie!” Gerald yelled, suddenly angry. “I never taught you anything. You never followed me anywhere. We don’t even know each other. We’ve bumped into each other a few times, but that’s it. Don’t try to make me feel guilty for what they did to you. I had nothing to do with it. I would have objected had I known. How can you say these things, have you lost your mind?”
She shook her head. “No. Looking back, I knew it in my heart the first time we met. I just didn’t want to accept it. It was that look in your eyes, that determination to be free from the cage the gods created for you, for your mind. I’m sorry I didn’t accept it sooner. I was so angry at you for getting in my way, for destroying my plans, that I let it cloud my judgment. Only now, at the end of my life, do I realize that I should have given myself to you right then and there on that starliner.”
“This is crazy!” Gerald yelled, throwing up his arms. “I may have wanted you to stand trial for your crimes, but I didn’t want this. I didn’t want you to spend a lifetime being tortured!”
Gerald turned a bitter eye to the observation booth. “I didn’t think the Alliance was capable of such cruel barbarism.”
“This is nothing compared to what awaits me in my next life,” she stated coldly. “The kharma for all my sins will follow me when I am reborn. You know this better than most.”
Gerald looked up. “What do you mean? Tell me.”
She tilted her head. “You really don’t know, do you? Haven’t you ever wondered what you must have done in your last life, to warrant such astonishingly negative kharma?”
Inside the booth, Nathers leaned forward, his eyes growing wide. “It can’t be...”
Gerald’s face went as white as snow.
“You are the reincarnation of my beloved,” Lyssandra confirmed. “Hee’hidzin, the ArchTyrant.”
Chapter Forty
Every person has their breaking point. All it takes is pressure, and time. If you think you are not capable of evil under the right circumstances, then you do not yet know yourself.
-Attributed to Karsin Delu, Third General of Ragnarok, Y17.07-K4281pp
High Priest K’Bheziss did nothing to hide his disgust as he withdrew his glowing hand from Gerald’s head. “It is true,” he confirmed. “This is the reincarnation of the ArchTyrant.”
The dozen or so guards in the room trained their weapons on him. The back of Gerald’s head was covered in red targeting lights.
“Relax men,” Nathers said coldly. “He’s just a human in this life. He has no power anymore. We have no need to fear him now.”
To prove his point, he kicked Gerald in the back, sending him crashing into the throne. There was a sickening snap of bone and cartilage. K’Bheziss backed away from Gerald in disgust.
Gerald coughed and got up onto his knees, blood trickling from his broken nose.
“This is for my uncle!” one of the guards yelled, kicking Gerald in the gut.
Gerald folded over in pain, emptying the contents of his stomach onto the floor.
“Don’t kill him,” K’Bheziss cautioned. “He has an astonishingly amount of negative khamra.”
“We’ve noticed,” Nathers said, spitting on Gerald’s neck.
“That negative kharma will cause him to suffer every day of his life. He’ll suffer far more if we let him live out every miserable day.”
Gerald coughed, struggling for breath. His mind was coming apart from the shock of the revelation. Trying to deny it, he grasped at any straw he could find. “But if I’m so evil, then why was I reborn as a sentient creature? Shouldn’t I have been reincarnated as a bug or a bacteria or something?”
“Not that I care, but that is a good question,” Nathers admitted.
K’Bheziss pondered that one for a moment. “My guess is that you were reborn as a sentient because your capacity to suffer would be far greater than if you were a lesser orgamism. Of course, humans are barely sentient by our standards, but they can still feel quite a lot of pain, and their inability to sense aether makes them harmless cripples. In fact, it would not surprise me at all to learn that humans were willed into existence long ago for the very purpose of giving you the perfect vessel to suffer in.”
The guards laughed.
Gerald’s heart hurt so bad he felt he would die from it. “But I’ve lived a pretty good life,” Gerald whispered, trying to hold onto his sanity. “Doesn’t that count for something? Won’t the way I’m living eventually wipe this bad kharma away?”
The High Priest reluctantly held a glowing hand over Gerald’s head again. “Yes,” he confirmed. “Your current lifestyle has reduced the amount of negative kharma attached to you. At the rate you are going, I would say it will all be gone in approximately one...”
Gerald looked up.
“...hundred...”
Gerald’s face went pale.
“...thousand...”
Gerald’s eyes opened in fear.
“...lifetimes.”
Gerald collapsed to the floor. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. His mind simply refused to accept the data, yet somehow he knew it was true. Suddenly his whole life made sense. Every bruised knee, every broken bone, every broken tool, every accident, every animal attack, every harsh glance. It wasn’t just some random coincidence. It was an orchestrated and coordinated attack from the universe itself.
And it would last for a hundred thousand lifetimes.
K’Bheziss called for a sanitation basin and washed his bloated hands, disgusted for having touched him. “Neophyte Dyson, you are hereby expelled from the order of Soeck, effective immediately.”
Gerald looked up, tears in his eyes. “The first scroll says that no willing hand shall ever be turned away...”
“I don’t care. You are banished from all missions. You are never to set foot on any consecrated building or holy ground ever again.”
“...and the third scroll says that all are welcome, that none are to be turned away...”
“It doesn’t matter. Your name will be removed from all records, no disciple will be allowed to speak of you ever again.”
“...and the fifth scroll says that...”
“SHUT UP! Remove your rainments and turn them in, in fact burn them right now and get out of here!”
Gerald was trembling. He couldn’t believe what was happening. There, in an instant, his whole life, his whole reason for living had been blown away. It was gone. All of it was gone, and he knew that he would never get it back. Ever.
Nathers stepped forward, his face full of hate. “And then I’m afraid I’ll be taking you into custody.”
“What are we to charge him with?” one of the guards asked.
“For being born.”
Gerald was forced into motion by a swift kick to the side that cracked his ribs. He cried out in pain, but the threat of another kick forced him to his feet. He stood up, clutching his side, and walked over to the fireplace.
As he untied his cassock, he found the papers inside that the girls had given him.
Hands trembling, he tossed them into the fire.
“What was that?” Nathers asked as Gerald watched the papers burn.
“It’s nothing,” Gerald said, tears dripping off of his chin. “Just a dream I had once.”
His robes were stripped from him and tossed into the fire. Shackles were placed on his
wrists and ankles, a collar around his neck.
He was yanked and pulled, paraded through the streets in nothing but his underwear. Already the word was spreading everywhere. It was the biggest news of all time. People were lining up. Nathers and the guards did nothing to dissuade the gathering crowds as they yelled and screamed obscenities. A rock was thrown, striking Gerald in the head, and dropping him to his knees. One man leaned forward and sprayed acid on Gerald, scorching his back. The guards yanked on his collar and forced him up again.
Gerald could barely see from the blood flowing down his face. But the physical pain was nothing compared to what he felt inside. His heart was being throttled. He had seen the videos. The plains of ash that had once been cities. The endless fields of bones. Had he really done those things? Was all that suffering really his fault?
From somewhere a bottle was broken over his head, and he fell senseless to the ground.
* * *
Cha’Rolette sat in her room. She weakly waved her hand, closing the news windows, flashing the headlines of the news with Gerald’s picture. She felt so sick inside she wanted to throw up. Placing her hands on her face, she wept bitter tears.
* * *
Ilrica sat quietly in a corner, lost in thought. Her heart broken. Her crystronics alerted her to a message being placed into her external memory. Then a second. Then a third. She reached back and switched off her online functions, and sat silently in the dark.
* * *
Trahzi lay on her bed, looking up at the ceiling. She had never liked sleeping. It had always felt like a bother. The loss of productivity, the loss of time. She avoided it whenever she could. Now, she wished she could go to sleep and never wake up again.
She reached up her red hand, stretching out to some unseen thing in the air. She closed her fingers, and it slipped through.
She rolled over into her pillow, and sobbed quietly to herself.
* * *
Gerald’s skin roasted in the midday sun as he worked the field in his prison uniform. The other inmates stayed clear of him. Partially out of fear, partially out of revolt, and partially to avoid the rocks and bottles thrown from the crowds just outside the prison fence. They had become a motley sea of people, representatives from every world in the Alliance. All their feuds set aside, all of their mutual loathing ignored. All unified in their hatred for Gerald Dyson.
Kharmic Rebound Page 75